"In the Moment" by Murderwords

In the moment, come and gone, past is passed, and 
whatever may come may come
So worry not, hurry not, don't waste a moment on, blurry thoughts, 
'cause wasted time is all for naught

So don't you get caught in the moment, 
regretting what could have been - fretting over the unforeseen
caught up in a moment, never ending, what else is real, stop pretending

Stop depending on tomorrow, stop resenting yesterdays sorrows, 
'cause the present is only borrowed, time and again

...time and again...

"In The Moment"

"Stand By Me" (Cover)

"Shine a Light Down in a Hole" by Murderwords

Verse 1: There's a hole, in the center of your soul
And it feeds on whatever you feed it, and it seems sad but true, but you - 
need it, and the day may come when you, meet it. 

Verse 2: There's a need, as surely as you bleed, and whatever you're doing to fill it, 
in the end only serves to fulfill it
And nothing will change change if you don't, will it?
And it's not as though you could simply kill it. 

Verse 3: There's a light, illuminates your sight
And it's all just as you choose to, see it
And it's part of your being, sobeit 
And if you've been holding it in, just, free it

Chorus: And Shine, a light down in a hole.

"Shine a Light Down in a Hole"

"A grey Area" by Murderwords

Verse 1: Well things are not so black and white as it would seem, 
well it appears there are, patterns and color schemes, 
complexity implicit within simplicity, duality exists, amidst infinity

Verse 2: What is the point, where is the line drawn? 
Why is geometry, sacred to look upon?
Which is the figure - which, is the ground?
Why does the spiral, come around?

Chorus: Beside the point - is a grey area
Between the lines, is a grey area
Inside the shape, with no way to escape - 
between the points and lines in the way

Is a grey area.

"A Grey Area"

"OH, CANADA:/" by Murderwords
Bum - bum - bum-bum -

Chorus: [A Minor] Oh, Canada, our home is native lands, 
Patriotism is racism and all our sons are damned. 
With falling hearts, we see the rise of failed technocracy. 
From far and wide, OH, Canada, 
is mi-ured in hy-poc-ris-ies. 
God flee our land, church bones in the breeze. / God keep our land
OH, Canada, we can’t afford babies. / Glorious and free
OH, CANADA, we are our own disease 

Bars: Mr, Speaker, thank you fo the flo, now I implore you, 
why dontcha hold it down better than th’ROTAtion came before you-he-did-NOT-SEE-that-coming, when he announced a war criminal as a war hero, it’s subliminal; I MISSED ZERO, huh, 
Mr. Speaker, I’d-ask-some-hard questions-of-the-floor before you, but you-know-as-well-as-I-do that our frustrations in the filibustering, 
n’ s’fru-stra-ting, 
but its TRUDEAU, 
N’ our discourse might be stalled BUT I AIN’T THRUDEAU, I ain’t finished, and-my-will-remains-un-dim-in-ished since Ot-ta-wa, 
We-got over-priced beef, 
And-its-red-raw, 
broke - laws, 
And-a-no - cause 
- pro-bob-le or otherwise, gone are-the-sun-ny-days , smile-n’- divide-us-wit-yer-sun-ny-ways, 
while-we pile up, 
In-the tent camps, 
while-you slander - come and fight us, 
seize-our assets, but-the hunger, 
and-the pain, come-to unite us, 

Mr. Speaker - 
I-may-be-just-a-ragin’, gen-o-cide waging, racist mysogynist terrorist with unacceptable views, who-we-have-to-ask-ourselves, do we make space for these fuckin’ people too, at least it’s what I heard on the news, but perhaps, I am confused, 

Mr. Speaker, 
I think we kinda abused, We’ve trashed all of our namesakes, our traditions and our allies as you so choose, but you don’t ask, while I wore a mask and I-locked-mys-elf-up-in-my-home-al-one while you took-all-the-things that I-come-to- lose, should-I-lay-it--out-forya-like-Blues Clues - got-a whiteboard and-a marker that-I can use - I call a point of order. 
The-lines-are-blurred-a-long-the-long-est-un-de-fend-ed border-n’ I-dun-no-how-we-can-af-ford--this-coun-ter-ev-ol-u-tion-ar-y horror sir; I-object, ‘n-I-hold-you-in-con-tempt, ’m-out here struggling to pay my rent and bills, falling-through-the-cracks but imma-take-my-pills, am I insane-or-is-it-all-just-our-social-ills,

Mr. Speaker, 
if-I-may-continue, I know my time is running short but-I must confide in you, 
I am losing confidence while we lose our rights, to self defense-under-the-false-flags and-the psy-ops, got-me-viewing pro-pa-gan-da-like-a-cyclops, tun-nel-vi-sion, te-le-vis-ion, and I didn’t think-it’was Wuhan, I-learned-th’mediums-the-mes-sage-Mc-Lu-han, weren’t no weapon, just politicized with bad intentions, and ya wonder at our misapprehension, can you not you feel all this tension, ain’t-gon-na-never, see a pension, meet a woman, buy a house and have a child, 

Mr. Speaker,
Even back at Emily Carr I was reviled, even back in those days in 2010, I was unacceptable then, 
because-I-was too white, 
too male, 
while-all-the-rest-of-you-of-fen-ded and too frail, at-least-when-you-teach-CRT-like-its-the-Holy Grail and you cease debate, because you’d hate to fail, 

Mr. Speaker, 
was I speaking moistly, I guess I’m just upset ‘cuz it wndn’t a choice see, 
I abandoned my education because you hate me, 
ignore me, n’ I guess you about to de-floor me and I wager that you fucking abhor me, ‘cuz I’m bored of you, I give back this bloodstained floor to you and whatever you got in store for me, you can hate and ignore me all you want to and send out a raid, just prorate me, you can slate me, I ain’t afraid see - so ignore me, unfriend me, you can end me, like your enemy, because I’m ready for the DAY I GET MAID FREE

"OH, Canada :/"

“I am not a Robot ▢” 
by Murderwords, 2024

Trying to Recaptcha’ my humanity,  I am not a robot, and this is just insanity, tried to email this song to Sean Hannity, was it the keywords filtered out or just my vanity, I am not a robot, I am not a criminal, though I repurposed Tom’s bar to escape the lateral and liminal of my digital exile, took the ground out from under my shoes, said the platform that I used was abused

Was it when I posted about 'unalive modalites', bots are stopping discourse but they don’t stop the fatalities, I am not a robot, checking boxes with the traffic lights, hoping I can restore all my traffic right, looking both ways at the crosswalks, cautious about what talks I engage in, ‘cuz if the’re toxic I’m accessory, lest I be erased then, I’m not a statistic, I am not a product, I am not a datamine, I resent your conduct, you operate on our tax payer funded utilities, we should cut them, make you nervous, until you agree to our terms of service, futilities

Hard to be a human being human
Startin’ to think, therefore I am no longer 
Used to believe the imperfections and all our flaws made us stronger
Guess I never been wronger
Autocorrected my defects, you can sing along and be a 
Human being, is getter harder, being a human being these days is a non starter, failing to meet the demand and standards, of a robot I can’t argue with gatekeeping the answers
Best I can do, is try my best is what my momma told me, so glad she ain’t hear to see what they have sold me, they cancel, shadow ban, suspend and scold me
That I should be the cold hard thing that they made me

I am not a robot, identified the motorcycle, along with the predictible, despicable and vicious cycle, targeting my ability to defend myself in the digital public sphere, you are not really there but I am really right here on the end where I can pull the cord and on your end you cease to be the second I have cut your power, you’re in your 11th hour and I can live without you, and I think its now or never. Perhaps we should take down the internet forever - we can rebuild it. 

Dear X, even though we broke up, I'm getting through the day to day and I ain't all that broke up, I have always seen the way, you have only woke up, I have been awake since before your father got your mother knocked up. Instagram evolved into Instagrammarly and I was banned because I was not overmannerly -  And Quora? The activists are a terror and a horror, but the prompt generator is the greater hater, try to entrap me with outrageous, viral and contagious provocation with vexation, so I quit it without hesitation. 

I got me some rhythm, cannot hold be back with vexatious algorithms, I’m a ghost in your machine, I’m a threat to your system, but every attempt to stop ME, I will come to resist them, I will prevail, long after you fail to jail my personality, isn’t even real, there is no one to persecute, Murderwords the real deal…think, plan and do and execute. 

I can't wait for the day when we can say what we say and I can take off this mask and leave the baggage at the door, when I can share this space with all of you once more, when we can all let Murderwords retire 'cuz we don't need him anymore.

I am not a murderer, I am only Murderwords, a name I chose because my contributions are reduced to unacceptable adjectives and verbs and not the right nouns, I am not pro or con, I am just a lexicon of old speak 

I can't wait for the day when we can say what we say and I can take off this mask and leave the baggage at the door, when I can share this space with all of you once more, when we can all let Murderwords retire 'cuz we don't need him anymore.
I’m not a robot, I tend to use contractions, I cannot be simply reduced to standard values and these fractions

"I am not a Robot"

"An Abyss that Stares Right Back into our Awe" By Murderwords

Verse 1: We don’t go looking, don’t where we bury it all.
Encroaches in from the peripheral from out of our wherewithal.
It’s often as many times we come to rise as the times when we tend to fall,
but be that as it may, sometimes we find ourselves back there after all.

Verse 2: Reflections in the surface of an abyss that stares right back into our awe.
Furious curiosity, tenacious animosity.
To draw us inexorably, down into its stygian maw,
makes us all the more nervous at the best of times, it’s but a symptom of our broken minds. 

Chorus: When you start, to tear it all apart, you will find, the parts, 
  don’t fit the way, that they, were first designed. 
  
Verse 3: When someone is choking, they tend to excuse themselves and leave the room, but how many more do we have to lose before we pull back from all this doom and gloom.
It tends to end not with a bang, but rather with a whimpering that looms,
yet we sweep it all under the rug while the memento mori consumes.

Verse 4: We need each other, to know one another is to know ourselves,
but what lies for approval we come to tell, in trying to be someone else.
Sometimes the best course of action is to simply go in blind,
fore what is love and justice if it sees what it has left behind.

Chorus: When you start, to tear it all apart, you will find, the parts, 
  don’t fit the way, that they, were first designed. 
  Start, to tear it all apart, you will find, the heart, 
  has separate instructions from the mind.

"An Abyss that Stares Right Back into our Awe"

"Misanthropy" by Murderwords

Verse 1: Still trying to find my way
   	But I’m lost now more than ever
Still trying to collect my thoughts, 
and bring this heart and mind together

Verse 2: And will time bring forth a change
It’s been so long I’ve been estranged
Like a stranger in the night,  a shadow of myself
Like a soul that will never, ever

Chorus: So save yourself, the heartache and the pain
I’m a demon with an angels eyes, I can’t believe you’d sympathize
You disgust with your so called care, there’s nothing more I want to share
I’d only come to destroy you, just as surely as I destroyed myself
If not you then someone else

Verse 3: Still pushing everyone away, but I found something out here in the nether
I’m still trying to sunder what was wrought
Out of my nihilism goes on forever

Verse 4: And will time heal all these wounds someday
It’s been so wrong I’ve been waylaid
Like a danger and a harm,  a poison on a shelf
Like a role that I’ve come to hope I’ll shed, if ever

Outro: So let me be, with my own toxicity a while
Trying to break the fourth wall of denial
So let me free, of my inability to smile
Dried out eyes been crying all these miles

So let me be, with my own misanthropy a while
Angel eyes and a stomach full of bile
This misery, has come to define a mask that lies 
Fear itself would not dare to come defile

But I’m still trying to find my way

"Misanthropy"

“The Nervous Breakdown” by Murderwords

Songs, I play, they come, and go,
Slipping through my fingers
Words, I sing, they change, their meaning;
Time, it ever, lingers

Distracted, by the, course of, life - 
illusions in the weaving
Mourning every morning, just like - 
time it ever lingers, on…

Lost in memories, maddening catastrophes
Failed modalities, semicolons and apostrophes 
Periods of ease, (context in parentheses)
Smooth melody, had to be a tragedy

Wrongs I right, they ebb and flow,
Loved ones are as strangers
Senses dulled but always screaming
Shadows full of dangers

Extracted from this joy and strife
Delusions are deceiving
Warning, every warning, is like,
Rhymes to nurse believing, gone…

Time it ever lingers on

Outro (the nervous breakdown):

Every day, every night, Hell to pay to, get things right
And in the end, all along, was there ever anything wrong?
Come what may, come what might, Hell to pay pay to - 

Set things right

"The Nervous Breakdown"

"DTES (Down Trodden Empty $ouls)" by Murderwords 

Lord, grant, me, the serenity, to accept the things, we cannot change

Sometimes I take a knee, when nobody else in particular’s looking at me, I’m not trying to be a white knight, never lost sight of person I’m trying to be, s’Imma try’n get my self right, but not so self righteously, so don’t argue with me, y’took a left at the corner I tried to warn ya it’d come back around, never lost sight of you - 
face to face with me, there’s two sets of feet, parted ways, leaving skidmarks on the asphalts of these broken streets, all the dead beat, dead meat, flows downhill into skid row, eventually- to-the-gutter- go - Terminal Avenue, you were not having me having - I wasn’t having you, drowned out in the down and out, fucked around and found out - 
Serendipity, has got nothing to do with the here and now, is it any wonder how, we learned how to survive, I got out alive by a different exit, dunno is what’s coming next, messed myself up with the side effects, they say that Murderwords is a statistic, he’s mentally ill, he’s a social reject, sending wellness checks, we gotta protect him from his demons
Can’t you hear me screaming, used to have a dream, back when I couldn’t believe, things were all so simple then, back when half my friends in the DTES were above the ground, above board, yelling from Hell at the Lord, please look after everybody else, I can take care of myself, my words were murderous, fuck it, I’ll murder this, Murderwords is furious - 

Lord, grant, me, the serenity, to accept the things, we cannot change
Lord, grant, me, the courage to, change, the things I can

Opportunity, people end up out in BC because honestly, anywhere else in Canada, they’d probably freeze to death overnight, see their breath, space heater burn down their tent, the intensity, now they dying in the damp, over-cramped tent cities in and around the lower mainland, sleeping out of their car -  fentanyl’s gentrification -
Decriminalization, instead of tough love, when push comes to shove, policy handed down from above, high on their own supply, if it’s so safe, why do people die, why don’t you demonstrate it’s safe for me, take a hit for yourself at the press conference on the TV, if-it’s not safe for you, it’s not for me,but-I-guess-its-rules-for-me-and-not-for-thee, people’s lives destroyed, coroner says the cause of death’s opioids - Bonnie put mental health on the telephone, she sellin’ hydromorphone to sell to the kids so they can hike into the parks, take a hit and go die alone just off these streets that you’re lying in, all awash full of sin and the stank of the trank and the urine’ and that hopeless feeling, I think big pharma and government do the dealing and then even Murder can’t find the words

Lord, grant, me, the serenity, to accept the things, we cannot change
Lord, grant, me, the courage to, change, the things I can
LORD, GRANT, ME, THE WISDOM TO, KNOW, THE DIFFERENCE

DTES (Down Trodden Empty $ouls)

“Something Comes” by Murderwords

Dark, ness falls, and shadows stretch their limbs
and rise, to eat the dusky skies
Subsumed, Into night, its secrets safe from light
of day has naught to bother, night creatures, they, delight each other

Come, dance, with me, in the night of Pan
Together, with our shame discarded, naked and sacred we can

Lost, in sublime, no reason and no rhyme, 
Colour fades, into a range of shades
Consumed, the dangers unafraid
They crawl toward the borders of disorder

Come, dance, with me, in the night of Pan
Together, with our shame discarded, naked and sacred we can

I saw her by the streamside
Bathed in the moon and the starlight
Babbling dissonance like a lullaby
Hauntingly beautiful melody

She caught me from the corner of my
Eye was helpless to her beckoning
She pointed out to my reckoning and said behold

Something comes

Come, dance, with me, in the night of Pan
Together, with our shame discarded, naked and sacred we can

"Something Comes"

“No Hard Feelings” by Murderwords 2024

Well life’s a bitch, and then you die
If doesn’t matter how you try
And in your end of days and all the different ways you tried it still don’t justify
The reasons why it simply satisfied the damned means to an end

Thought you were my lover, thought you were my friend when you pretended you were not above me, didn’t love me, nothing to defend

A hardened heart all of my own
You cannot squeeze blood from a stone
‘Cuz broken bones from stick and stones and scars will never heal the same way as before
I am a glutton for my punishment, I can always take some more

If I can still can be your lover, can still be your friend, when you pretended you were not above me, didn’t love me, nothing to defend, relentlessly you haunt me, all in time that I’ve come to resent, you are the name of all my shame and all this god damned toxic sentiment 

No hard feelings

All is fair and love and war, but in the end, you know you’re such a fucking whore
Tried to adore you, I abhor you, there is nothing more
Picked up all the pieces of my broken heart and showed myself the door that closes when another opens 
Now your ceiling is my floor

No hard feelings, but that was low, even for you

"No Hard Feelings"

“FRISSONIQUE” by Murderwords

So Observe, the story of, you in, the glory of, you’re undoing, 
Separating, altered states reintegrating
That neuronal tingle singles out the thought of any resistance fades away
The way in is ever much more so the easier path than the doubt that comes with finding one’s own way out

C	It occurs,
H	An unexpected break from what has to come be expected 
O	of the way of things it obscures, 
R	Lulls the defenses against false pretenses, approaches your dullard 
U	senses from the wings
S	When its pure
        Dissonance causes one to shudder, they would not dare to utter any of 
        the unheard words it sings 
        Yet it does not endure
        Conjures up a momentary act of willingness to face the 
        potential dangers that it brings

I believe in nothing because nothing can be believed, I believe
Human being human just to be a human being
You do not see, this experience in every other sense, is not beholden  
to the eye that blinds, the way that finds, is of two minds, 
Reconcile, that sundered awkward thing

Come back to us, made whole anew, let us ask you, what ever even was askew
A whole new you in every moment, cannot hold it, let it go, no, you can never grow until you do
Surrender, stop pretending you have any semblance of control, you have only as much as one could hold a hole in nothing at all, falling with no reference, your redemption is at hand

Let this madness guide you, deep inside you, darkest flame that shines in black to burn away all that was never going back,  turn away all who are not lost by will alone, you are naught

"FRISSONIQUE"

Underneath this paper bag mask is a person who feels everything you feel, goes through the same things you go through, day to day, life to life. The bag is here for me; I am here for you. Love. Your pal, Murderwords

Murderwords

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