omg this is so jumpy and makes me happy thank you for making music.

Its not that hard.

Art shot and edited by me, and finalized by vai5000

lyrics

I claw and I tear me apart
But theres no sign of wear on my skin
I keep calling it some form of art
Yet I still don't know where to begin

Its not that hard
Its not that hard
Its not that hard
Its not that hard

The dealer, they call out my bluff
And prevent me from playing my hand
And although I don't think its enough
I'm too powerless to make a stand

I'll play my part
I'll play my part
I'll play my part (its not that hard)
I'll play my part (its not that hard)

Oh you're hurtin your hurtin your
Hurtin your hurtin your head 
I don't know how you do it just saying you're fine

And you're getting too comfortable
Lying around on your floor with no thoughts in your head
Only tears in your eyes

And I know that I've got no prescription
That will cure any of my deception
And I can't find some kind of prevention
For this turning into some fixation
So I try 
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try it again

Oh no you wouldn't get it
No you wouldn't get it
No you wouldn't get it

I admit its not really a problem (but it only serves nothing to you)
Even if you can't look at me right (cause you say what you know isn't true)
I can say that it doesn't affect me (but you think of it everyday)
When you call me the person I was 
But that's all that you see (oh but how did you make it this way)
But I look in the mirror and its not really me (so you try and you try it again)
Its counter-productive cause' I can't the words out (but the cycle it just doesn't end)
And just say what I mean 
Its so tiring

So whats all the point of this trying

And it all seems to burden my psyche
So I mask it all at my expense
Still my body deteriorates beside me
And it just doesn't seem to make sense
And the toller knows nothing about it
And it pains me to pay him the fee
The amount of my life that's been wasted and lost in the weeds
Its still just me
No its just me


And its getting too
Getting too
Getting too
Getting too close to the eminent feeling
That you're gonna die
(but you won't go yet)
(no you won't go yet)
(no you can't go yet)

And now that you are older and
Everything's smaller
Do you start to wonder "where did I go wrong in my life?"

So I lie
Cause I'm fine
No, I'm fine

And I'm so tired
And sick of trying
So why not
So why not


And it all seems to burden my psyche
So I mask it all at my expense
Still my body deteriorates beside me
And it just doesn't seem to make sense
And the toller knows nothing about it
And it pains me to pay him the fee
The amount of my life that's been wasted and lost in the weeds
Its still just me
Its still just me

Body

FAbDbAbBbf

i've not wanted to know anyone like i want to know your spit
when you do see me defeated, please love me in spite of it
there has been no one i've trusted with the simple sides of me
girl who only wants to see you, that is all i really need

you don't know how bad i need you, it's like air inside my lungs
a pneumonic kind of fever when i'm thinking you're the one
taking coughing fits as signs that we are only meant to be
girl who only wants to see you that is all i really need

spit

[NOTE] Due to SoundCloud copyright issues the audio file has been pitched up 50 cents

https://evangeline.info

Produced, written and performed by Evangeline
lyrics: https://genius.com/Evangeline-au-end-of-life-lyrics

End-of-life

with @9nasu
i used the fly in the wind
i used to sing with all of my friends
but suddenly i descend

you don't wanna see this
when i don't feel like breathing
and when i close my eyes
i can barely catch sleep
i can barely feel

i won't waste your time
i won't be online
i’m trying to make it right
i'll still be home

i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't just run away

i used the fly in the wind
i used to sing with all of my friends

i'll make it alright
find me home, i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go

when i don't feel like breathing
and when i close my eyes
i can barely catch sleep
i can barely feel

i won't waste your time
i won't be online
i’m trying to make it right
i'll still be on

i'll still be alright
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
no i can't go

mourning dove with nasu

cover photo by @zzoos
--------------
(where are you, where are you)
oh i cant say i feel the same as you
what do you want
its irrational, a place not meant for two
what are you on

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

will you think of me?
oh, i hope not
i pull the petals off, loves me not

love me, love me not
i dont care when im in your thoughts
and as i watch you rot and decay, i feel invincible
oh its all that i want

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
please dont come back
lets make the most
before youre gone

ill die all over again

love me, love me not

lyrics (mostly) written by @jacobtravels
put to song by me

i die, at night, in the dark
surrounded by my own self pity
i’ve died, a few times, before this
surrounded by the shields i’ve built

alone

comfort is commodity
i miss when you would lie to me
i’m not as hopeful as i ought to be
i know

collapsing as a sign
it’s a circle one of mine
i was built to spread some message
not one that I could live to

myself

all i want is something to give to you
all i want is something to give to you

jacob song

complex complex complex

emotional driver
drive all night
your worries have been 
mechanized
from dashboard dreaming

clutching onto the 
centre console
your body’s been 
in cruise control
for several seasons

thinking back to the 
way it was
think we missed that exit
but you’re always on my mind

popping up in the
rearview mirror
objects are much closer 
than they appear

hydroplane, lose power steering
what would happen if
I told you I needed you here

needed you here

the colours flushing through our breath
you push your face against mine
I’ll strain my synapses attach
to try and store the place and time

I fixate on doom
but your headlights are cutting through
you light up a room
haven’t told that to you

the colours flushing through our breath
you push your face against mine
when we pull back the rift has cracked
try not to see it as a sign

and we know the truth
that’s not something I can do
you light up a room
and I told that to you

complex complex complex

w/lve

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