It's a lie so don't waste my time on your
alibi with a twist of lime you
your self-defense
or self pretense
is just another faded disguise

Feels like one long procedural to me
track you down, taking notes and all I see
dead ends
misdeeds
reads like
a second hand mystery

so what is a door closed without a goodbye
what is a message sent without a reply
when you can't be sure of the truth
suspicion counts for proof
at least in my mind
I'd call it a crime

went through your pocket lint and searched your drawers
lost my head had to get down on all fours
under
the bed
looking
for dangerous saboteurs

so what is the fear that keeps me awake in the night
and what is the doubt that's turned me into a spy
when you can't be sure of the truth
suspicion counts for proof
at least in my mind
I'd call it a crime

I saw you on the street yesterday, chatting up some guy
you didn't see me watching from the coffee shop nearby
called you on your cellphone but you just let it ring
the two of you just laughing and talking, like it didn't mean a thing

what is the fear that keeps me up awake in the night
and what is the doubt that's turned me into a spy
when you can't be sure of the truth
suspicion counts for proof
at least in my mind
I'd call it a crime

I'd Call It A Crime

This is the first song I wrote and recorded, so the audio quality and arrangement are definitely lacking, even by my low standards.

welcome to the real world
you don't look so well
the wrinkled clothes, the trailing voice
you're hurting I can tell

well I'd love to give you some advice
but first let's grab a drink
A Jefferson cup with bouron
will help me to think

I'm the world's authority on love
I'll answer all your questions of
the fires below, the stars above

I've been rejected and I've cried
I've been the cheater and I've lied
now I've got nothing left to hide

if it's a book I wrote it
if it's a joke I stole it
if it's a film I shot it
if it's a cure I got it

I think back on the college boys, they put me through it all
stolen kisses, laughter, lies, triangles, alcohol
but now that I'm so much older
I thought things would calm down
but it never ceases to amaze me
that new temptations still abound

I'm the world's authority on love
I'll answer all your questions of
when to say enough's enough

I'm the world's authority on pain
if you've got time I can explain
how every single scar remains

don't ask the ragged holy man under a tree
he doesn't care, you won't find it there
not the so called doctors filling up the screen
there's too much to lose
they won't tell you the truth

That I'm the world's authority on love
I'll answer all your questions of
the fires below, the stars above

I've been rejected and I've cried
I've been the cheater and I've lied
now I've got nothing left to hide

Authority On Love

sittin' home on sunday I got nothing to do
but sort through all the junk mail, pick the gum off my shoe
I got a headache from the problems between you and me
they've been pushin' us apart just like that dark energy
and what it leaves behind is just a cold empty space
that eerie silence that you hear well that's the coup de grace

when we first met it seemed the world was new to me
but now the mask is off and there's no mystery
don't take me out anymore, we just sit 'round and watch tv
and lord I know your m.o. when there's something that you need
heard all your tired jokes, you need some new recipes
cause I can see right through you just like a colonoscopy

I call you drugstore cowboy since I never see you straight
and you taught me all the best ways to self medicate
I need a drink to calm my nerves when you're out on the lam
but when you're home I take a big handful of alprayzolam
I wish I could think of a way to make a new start
but no matter what I say you've still got a hold of my heart
outside our house a little blue bird swaying on a wire
watches quietly as everything catches fire

where, where did it all go wrong?
you, you were the one
now, now where do I belong?
cause I don't, I' don't have a place left to run

you push me 'round like a toy and always tell me what to do
and even though I should know better, you know that I can't refuse
you're like a coked up Rick James who thinks I'm Teena Marie
and your'e like "b**** get in that booth and sing those hits for me!"
well it's a different world now, and I'm taking off the gloves
and I'll be kicking your a** like I'm Courtney f***ing Love!

Where Did It All Go Wrong?

I saw you for the first time
with a hand-made sign
waiting for the march to begin
you were laughing with some friends so
awkwardly
I tried my best to join in

we were just plastic boys
stretched like toys
but never holding a shape
but somehow it all made sense
one perfect day in May

graduation weekend
saw REM
you loved the way that he sang
you bought me a cassette so
we could blast them out
whenever we drove up to the lake

we were so happy then
matchstick men
waiting to burst into flame
and every time you smiled it
burned into my brain

but now I know
how cold it can be
and how I miss
the sun and the heat
days just seemed to fit
every night was bliss
I'm aching for a kiss
from summer lips

well I could see that you felt
shipwrecked here
three hundred miles from the sea
and I think I always knew but
was scared to say
that you would leave eventually

we've all played that game
and win or lose
your never gonna end up the same
just reminds me what your sign said
love can never be contained

Summer Lips

You know I can't stand to be alone
and though I left a desperate message on your phone
do I really want to know where you might be
keep hearing voices inside my head (wake up)
but I can't quite make out what they said (make up your mind)
could it have been something to do with me?

every time I feel my luck is turning around
it never seems to last for very long
staring at the ceiling it is obvious now
everything I've ever done was wrong

I should have listened to my friends
the only ones who really care 'bout me
oh well at least as far as I can see
they'd never let me down

I should have listened to my friends
they always tell me how it really is
they always tell me how it really is
however bad it sounds

You're sucking out all the joy (you told me)
and we're starting to get anoyed (you warned me)
it's time to act like a man
and not a boy

wake in a bed I don't recognize (that's why)
and no amount of alcohol will sterilize (it's no surprise)
the worn out empty shell that holds my soul
you've got a point I should act my age (that's it)
clean out my stash, erase my grindr page (no fucking shit)
I've got no money left to pay the toll

Still I keep descending into depths rich and strange
where creatures swim within the fading light
I'm running out of air but there's so much that remains
Can't seem to stop my study of the wildlife

I should have listened to my friends
the only ones who really care 'bout me
oh well at least as far as I can see
they'll never let me down

I should have listened to my friends
they always tell me how it really is
and they don't judge me for the things i did
they'll always be around

(you told me)
(you warned me)
I'm not a boy
pick your ass up off the ground
take a good hard look around
your world is crumbling down

I should have listened to my friends
the only ones who really care 'bout me
oh well at least as far as I can see
they'll never let me down

I should have listened to my friends
they always tell me how it really is
and they don't judge me for the things i did
they'll always be around

I.s.h.l.t.m.f.

Well I'm sending a message, is anyone out there?
you gotta help me escape
I lost in a sea of malicious crescendos
I'm trapped in a boxwood maze

ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg

now that the fates have pulled the curtain aside
I see it's all just an elaborate charade
so take my advice before I vaporize
you should be very afraid

ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg
ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg

now is the time we must take up arms
become revolutionaries
I'll tear a sword from the walls of the palace
and I'll steal a musket for thee

Am I just running in circles
chasing shadows spinning around?
I know that can't be the problem
cause somebody already tore the windmill down

well I gotta be honest it's not looking good
unless reinforcements arrive
So don't make a move until I say the word
or we'll be stuck here for the rest of our lives

ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg
ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg
ooo, ooo, ooo
I'm lost in williamsburg

Lost In Williamsburg Theme Song

Vocals by Nora Knight
From episode 15 of Lost in Williamsburg
©Phillip Merritt, 2015

mama said girl you best dust off your bones
and lose the phone
don't let the summer pass you by

I had to make a plan so I could lose
those high school blues
and I'd had horses on my mind

all I wanted wast to ride
leave my home town so far behind
all I wanted wast to ride
wind at my back, clear open skies

and I sang
oh no Toano
I can't play your games no more
and soon I'm gonna leave
and like some broke down piano
a strange and bittersweet refrain
is all I take with me

I scanned a list of names as I stood before
the stable door
I was assigned Miss Adelaide

She looked at me with what? maybe charity?
noblesse oblige?
my lack of pedigree betrayed

Still she took my breath away
there was a softness to her face
yeah she took my breath away
immaculate in silk and suede
couldn't find the words to say
how everything had changed that day
did it matter anyway?
could you ever feel the same?

and I sang
oh no Toano
I can't play your games no more
and soon I'm gonna leave
and like some broke down piano
a strange and bittersweet refrain 
is all I take with me

we were runnin' so fast
that I lost the reins
to the chestnut mare between my legs and I
hit the ground hard
under your spell
and the bruise on my heart left me feelin' like hell

But then maybe 
it was better for me 
that she finally made me see

oh no Toano
I can't play your games no more
and now it's time to leave
and like some broke down piano
a strange and bittersweet refrain 
is all I take with me

I think I saw her once down on Cary Street
on Cary Street

Toano

Well you're the kind of person who makes people stop and stare
but you always work so hard to make the world think you don't care
but I see right through your vintage thrift store flair
the careful way you flash the labels on your underwear
you pretend to run on empty but I know there's something there

you're such a baddass
and I'm in love with you
your such a badass
no matter what I do

why are you so damn afraid to let your feelings show?
you can tell me baby no one else has got to know
I try to get a little closer but you you won't make room
you're too busy making sure your stubble's groomed
but when I walk out the door it's gonna hit ya like a sonic boom

you're such a baddass
and I'm in love with you
your such a badass
no matter what I do

people in your life they come and they go
what are they feeling? You never know
when you look in the mirror
like you always do
do you like the person
that's staring back at you?

you're such a baddass
and I'm in love with you
your such a badass
no matter what I do

you're such a baddass
in everything you do
your such a badass
and boy you know it's true

Badass

An amateur musician with crudely performed and recorded songs. I think a couple of them turned out okay.

1000yearsfromnow