ig @1axhelini
produced by yunny goldz
(you can find this song on any platform)

- Lyrics -

Oh I just want to feel alive,
So break me when I'm on the ground.

I would've done anything for you
But you never cared like I did
So I'm not sorry that I didn't pursue
Cuz you tried to kill my inner kid

Falling behind, what's on my mind?
Leaving tonight? Doesn't feel right
Take me by the hand let's leave this place
I know that you want it, yeah I can tell

I wanna cry in my bed,
Get you out of my head.
But the things were said,
So I'll sing instead.
Just let me clear my head tonight.

I wanna scream and shout, tell what's on my mind.
All the things they did I got stabbed from behind.
But you think that's okay after all you're evil.
Cuz you don't know that there's also kind people. [x2]

Closing my eyes, tired of lies
I wanna sleep but I'm having trouble
Haven't slept once, decided to double
I don't think I miss you
No, I don't wanna kiss you

I wanna scream and shout, tell what's on my mind.
All the things they did I got stabbed from behind.
But you think that's okay after all you're evil.
Cuz you don't know that there's also kind people.

I wanna cry in my bed,
Get you out of my head.
But the things were said,
So I'll sing instead.
Just let me clear my head tonight.

teeth

@1axhelini on ig and tt

Main Artist - axhelini
Producer - 66smokey
Co-Producer - axhelini

this song is currently soundcloud exclusive, it's coming out 01/01/2025 tho

- lyrics -

1,2,1,2,3,fuck-
i don't wanna talk
i'll mute my phone
so i can avoid
every single conflict
don't want any drama
i just want my trauma to end

seven missed calls i won't answer
if i did i'd be in danger
call me once i'm done hiding
cuz now i don't feel like fighting
know i should be dead
escaped death twice instead
it's chasing
it's chasing me
everywhere i go it follows
leave me alone
i need to catch my breath

i don't wanna talk
i'll mute my phone
so i can avoid
every single conflict
don't want any drama
i just want my trauma to end

avoid

@1axhelini on ig and tt
prod. farber
soundcloud exclusive

- Lyrics -

Day after day
More distant than in may
I closed the door
Saw dead bodies on the floor
If you want to talk in private
Give me time I have to think
If it's better to stay quiet
Or to talk and take the risk

Of being misunderstood
Third time today
I'm tired of talking
Please, go away
I knew it'd be like this for eternity
I've always feared infinity
And since you've left

You feel so far away
Cuz I've made mistakes
It's like you're miles away
I didn't have what it takes
Come back
I still miss you
Come back
I still miss you

Every time I see you
I feel like you're not there
You're so close, yet
Feels like we're miles away
I've missed you so long
But I want you to know
That we used to be close
Now we're not feels so wrong
I still miss you the most
Even made you a song

Day after day
More distant than in may
I closed the door
Saw dead bodies on the floor
They look like me in every way
Cold hands and empty stares
Body rotting away
They look like they want me next

miles away

@1axhelini on ig and tt
prod. all we left unsaid

- lyrics -

help i'm trapped inside my head
every thought in here is deadly
and i guess it won't let me
repeat a word it said
i'm trapped inside my head
every thought in here is deadly
and i guess it won't let me
repeat a word it said

every minor inconvenience 
turns into a grudge between us
i can't help it i'm a mess
nothing more and nothing less
every time i try to grow up
i just end up being worse
i just guess i shouldn't show up
i feel like i am a curse

every thought in here is deadly

produced by Bowsa

lyrics:
breaksdown 
(breaksdown)
i always end up breaking your trust
(breaking your trust)
and i can't get away from lust
(away from lust)
just hold my hand so i won't drown
(hand so i won't drown)

whole my stupid life
i'm just trying to be something
but i'm just a stupid kid
i don't know anything, anything
so just hold me when i tell you that i'm nothing, nothing
every time i make mistakes i end up laughing, laughing

it's a defense mechanism
i want to be clear
(i want to be clear)
deep inside i'm screaming
i'm shivering in fear
(shivering in fear)
so take me away
(take me away)
every time i try to fix anything
(every time)
everything just-

breaksdown 
(breaksdown)
i always end up breaking your trust
(breaking your trust)
and i can't get away from lust
(away from lust)
just hold my hand so i won't drown
(hand so i won't drown)

stuck again in an endless loop
(stuck again)
i just want to be here with you
(here with you)
hold me i miss you
(hold me)
all i want is to kiss you
(kiss you)

breaksdown 
(breaksdown)
i always end up breaking your trust
(breaking your trust)
and i can't get away from lust
(away from lust)
just hold my hand so i won't drown
(hand so i won't drown)
breaksdown (down)
everything just breaksdown

breaksdown

prod. michael harrison
photo taken by @dreich_squirrel

-lyrics-
You have one unheard message
And- for.. A- and for all this time
I've- I- I've been trying to tell you, that.. 
I.. I'm sorry

The things I've said
Been keeping me up
You thought I meant all of it
And I wouldn't stop
And now we are tied again
Standing eye to eye
You stand here unknowing
I still miss you now

It happened so quickly
I didn't prepare
You wanted to help me
I was in despair
I didn't want help
And I pushed you away
(Pushed you away)
I don't wanna talk
I don't want it 'bout us

I never meant to push you away
(No, no I don't want to talk)
Just needed some time
And you barged in instead
(I just needed some time) 
I tried to apologize
You told me to be a man
And now we're 2 miles away

No, no I don't want to talk
I just needed some time
Everything would be okay
But now we're 2 miles away

The things I've said
Been keeping me up
You thought I meant all of it
And I wouldn't stop
And now we are tied again
Standing eye to eye
You stand here unknowing
I still miss you now

miles away II

produced by racky

-lyrics-
i don't want to talk
don't want to show up
i just want to rest
it would be for the best

i don't want to show my face
don't want to share my age
let me walk in my pace
we're not on the same page

lately i've been emotional, antisocial
trying to be somewhat nice
looking down, avoiding eyes

living in denial
suicidal
i don't even want to die
but maybe it's a lie

lately i've been scared to talk
i'm too scared to talk
i'm avoiding all
i'm avoiding all

antisocial

produced by tiresss

heavily inspired by dancingwiththestars by gunnr, not making any profit from this song

experimental song, i'm trying to find my sound
-
tried to make it
supposed to make it far
you and i
to take away the stars
gave you everything
you've taken it for granted
stabbed my back
you've taken it too far

you've taken it too far
you've taken it too far
you've taken it too far
you've taken it too fa-

tried to make it
supposed to make it far
you and i
to take away the stars
gave you everything
you've taken it for granted
stabbed my back
you've taken it too far

you've taken it too far
you've taken- far
far
far
far
far
far
far

good luck
don't call me back
(far)
i'll block your number
i promise that
(far)
you decided
to take a side
(far)
i hope you enjoy
your future life 
(far)
far
it's over now
(far)

make it far

featuring @solrisyours
produced by michael harrison
artwork by @safehavendot

@1axhelini:

i should've known
that it won't work
all the memories we've made
all the things that we've shared
i used to call you a friend
but now i get offended
WHEN I HEAR YOUR NAME
our friendship withered
like a rose in winter
i was laying injured
you just let me bleed

laying all alone
after you left me stranded
say, are you not entertained?
just-
don't call my name
cuz i don't-
NO I DON'T WANT TO-

i don't want to try
i don't want to try
i don't want to try
i don't want to try

it took a lot of strength
to be okay
don't know
what'd you expect?
(what'd you expect?)
wont ever be the same
so don't call my name
cuz i won't be there

i never thought i'd lose you 
with a single word
hope we meet again 
at peace in a different world

@solisyours:

bones fractured, what i’d do to you
made it what you wanted
my body holds it’s weight as i
find you with your fangs out
look at me i’m a waste now
just shut up you’re too loud
i can’t stop this screaming
only watch you as you’re bleeding

rose (ft. solr)

cover of "wear" by xona
vocals by @1axhelini
produced by @chbv

speak lightly
I won’t seem that worried about you and me
down few
many lose lives quick, nothing’s new
hiding right behind you
you’ll choose, you’ll choose

from what I wear
to see and stare
I swear I swear
you’ll have my care

how are you here with me?
I told you I’m scared of-
graphic and the terror to seize
It’s more than it could seem
It’s more than wear and tear
and I could hardly bear
and I could hardly bear
I could hardly bear
I could hardly-

from what I wear
to see and stare
I swear I swear
you’ll have my care

wear

produced by michael harrison
rest by axhelini

note: this song is a "contender" in a contest, hence i am not allowed to post it on spotify, etc just yet. it will appear on all the major streaming platforms around november (i hope)

"september"

leaves fall
just like we did
first it was him
and now i'm the only one who's left
guess this is the end
oh? who would've guessed
not the first time
you are not original

maybe i'm just cynical
but all you wanted was pleasure
and now it's september
you wanted to stay together
till we're 70
but i am 17
i don't miss you
i don't want to kiss you

tell me it was rational
to leave you and my friends behind
i'm back up on my feet
and i'm meeting new faces
you did enough harm
but i'll never hate you
i'm standing with God
he told me that i'll be alright

i'm happy for the memories
but i don't want to stay like this
we didn't work out
cuz you filled me with your empty lies
i'm drowning
but i don't mind it
inside i'm fighting
with your touch

september

song was done on vc on my discord server, might do more stuff like that in the future:)
https://discord.gg/Thmh7ebr (link will expire in 7days)

produced by JulianCeasar

i wish that it was me
someone that could really feel
without the need to bleed
take me some place where i can heal
i just want to be free
no one to tell what i need
there's no room left to breathe
take me somewhere i can be me

tell them what you want
but don't make it about me 
tired of all your rumours
they say more 'bout you than 'bout me
tell me what you think
but dare to say it to my face
heard the things you've said
they make the blood boil in my veins
they make the blood boil in my veins
they make the blood boil 
my veins

i wish that it was me
someone that could really feel
without the need to bleed
take me some place where i can heal
i just want to be free
no one to tell what i need
there's no room left to breathe
take me somewhere i can be me

i wish that it was me
someone that could really feel
without the need to bleed
take me some place where i can heal
i just want to be free
no one to tell what i need
there's no room left to breathe
take me somewhere i can be me

take me some place where i can heal
take me somewhere i can be me

iwishthatitwasme [JulianCeasar]

produced by neverforever

"It took me so long to do so many important things. It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been."

(absent)
i don't know if i'm deserving of love
people praise me but i think that they're wrong
at the end of the day i'm alone in my bed
on my knees praying to God

and i don't want sound like a maniac
i just don't want to be ashamed
when i'm talking about my savior
thanks to him i'm no longer afraid

"jim i called off my wedding because of you (absent)
and now we're not even friends
and things are just, like- weird between us
and that sucks- and i miss you
you were my best friend before you went to stamford
and i really miss you
there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding
but the truth is- 
i didn't care about any of those reasons until i met you."

i am anxious i won't find a soul
who will tell me when i'm doing wrong
and i guess i just want her to hear me
guess that's why i am making this song
(absent)

savior [neverforever]

produced by neverforever

this song is obviously about absent club and specifically 3 very special to me people. claire, avery (and the third person who's name i will not share) - you have no idea how much you've helped me throughout the past few months, ily with my whole heart guys<3

lyrics:

(absent)
i'm sorry claire
i feel useless
every time you talk
i'm clueless
i'll lend you a hand
won't let it end that way
you'll be okay
i'll always be your friend

i'm sorry avery
i feel bad
i don't even talk
and you tried so hard
sometimes i wonder
if i belong
i love you guys i hope you know
(absent)

i met a girl
i hope she won't see this verse
cuz every time we talk
my heart's running in reverse
it makes no sense
cuz we just met
don't want to make
the same mistake
i told claire and ave about you
i think that i'm starting to like you
but i'm scared you don't feel that way
don't want to lose the thing we have

so i'll take my time
i have traumas
i don't talk about
i want to heal my wounds
so i don't bleed on you
don't want to force you, too
i want to be your muse
(absent)

i'm sorry

this is a cover, original was made by joji.
cover art by @dreich_squirrel

Pixelated kisses got me goin' insane
Replicate this moment from a million miles away
Waiting for the signal, baby, never make a sound
If you never hear from me, all the satellites are down
Yeah, they're all down

Falling through the atmosphere right now
Baby, are you really down?
Baby, are you really down?

Pixelated kisses got me goin' insane
Replicate this moment from a million miles away
Waiting for the signal, baby, never make a sound
If you never hear from me, all the satellites are down
Yeah, they're all down

Falling through the atmosphere right now
Baby, are you really down?
Baby, are you really down?

PIXELATED KISSES

prod. neverforever
picture taken by @dreich_squirrel

lyrics:

shut all my blinds and closed my eyes
don't want to see them in my life
they say i've got problems, ain't that right?
all of you trying to pick a fight

i don't know how to throw a punch
but i'll go ahead say what's on my mind
i don't like people, don't like to talk
it's not that i hate you, it's all because

one of my friends has stabbed my back
it's not the first time, not the last
made me hated, said i suck
he came back later, i don't give a-

YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE SO "HEAVENLY"
YET YOU FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO ME
I TRY TO ACT SWEET AND HARMLESS
YET YOU TRIED TO PAINT ME AS HEARTLESS

never thought i'd be this way
looking for love, so far away
i'm still just a child, yet i want so much
but in all honesty, am i asking for too much?

i still can't forget how i used to want to die
ask me how i'm feeling and i'll say that i'm just fine
chris and i may not be friends but he still saved my life
so bring him up again and i'll make sure to ---- you up

it may’ve been my fault that he is nowhere to be found
but that’s none of your business i will finally stand my ground
trying to bring him up again to paint me as the villain
yet you didn’t bring your first gf didn’t know that you were cheatin’

heavenly

produced by bowsa
cover by @dreich_squirrel

lyrics:
don't call me again
i'm doing fine
i want to be alone again
didn't want to let you down
but you're the one who fell

breaksdown
i used to fall in your trap
breaksdown
you didn't know i would snap
i break down
but you don't seem to care
so stay down
don't want to play pretend

won't fool me again
i don't want to play this game
(don't want to play)
go blame it on me
already know you'll be the victim
cuz it all breaksdown
when i open my mouth
breaksdown, i break
god, i hate being loud

i used to be stuck in a loop
turns out you were the reason
every time i was happy you messed it up
i guess i deserved it
don't want to play pretend
don't want to be someone i'm not
i didn't want to let it end
but i guess you prefer to rot
i break

breaksdown II

produced by bowsa
picture by @dreich_squirrel

lyrics:
don't talk i want to pretend that i know what you want
i hate when you scream, it's a little extreme, you know that i'm soft
you're mad again, i feel it through your texts
i want to leave your sight but i'm too scared
i feel like i don't belong
in this society
people telling me how to live my life
it's killing me
i don't want to pretend
that i like anyone
i got a bunch of friends
don't need another one
used to dream of a girl
and some romance
but every time i get what i want
it all goes down
guess i wouldn't mind trying one last time
but i feel like i'm just wasting my life
(you're sick!)

this is a cover, original by the goat @heylog, i don't gain any profit from this track.
produced by nevrfall

lyrics:
i'm hiding in my own pain don't think that i won
my beretta's in the closet locked away in a box
with everything you've said got me collecting the dust
and everything we had is something that can't be undone
so put me in this freezer cause i need to reset
i had an asian girl but she left me for college
"things happen for a reason" that's what she always said
so if i die is that a reason why it happened

n the texts you send, question me how i write
but i'm too afraid to say direct in ur eyes
and this feelings dark but with you i had light
n before u left we loved us one last time

so tell me bout u first
u always cease to amaze me
u still worried about her
i think ur just crazy
u know that it hurts
when u don't even trust me
i'm far from a flirt
nobody even wants me
just another face, i'll forget about
just more extra pain and scars to heal out
just get out my way, i don't need u now
no way we could make up, without a doubt

i'm hiding in my own pain don't think that i won
my beretta's in the closet locked away in a box
with everything you've said got me collecting the dust
and everything we had is something that can't be undone
so put me in this freezer cause i need to reset
i had an asian girl but she left me for college
"things happen for a reason" that's what she always said
so if i die is that a reason why it happened

i'll wait 3 more years until college is done
that's if were alone, with nobody to give love
the war is on its way can u hear them run
they're raging and they laugh, when the jobs done

axhelini

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