spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5lTeS2AOY3NyTELjl5sIHr?si=506ffc3f1c874be7

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
inspired by @starfall
mix n master by me
trying somethin different
this song means a lot
i hope you enjoy listening

///
oh ive been wrapped up in this hurt
for way too long
everything that i do man i do it for u
and youve taken advantage
what did i do? i just don't understand it
the mental strain is way too much for me
i ask you to stop and i plead on my knees
the dip in my confidence, what i achieve
everything that you are doing to me

or do you want me taking the drugs like the rest?
fail all my classes and blame it on meds
cause deep in my gut i dont think that you care
look in the mirror and pull out my hair

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

cause i try so hard
do what i can but i can't make it far
no i can't make it far
do what i can and i'm trying so hard

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

tired

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5tAXiV5Ty4zKs0Bjd45qXr?si=075203ff1f204884

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
mix n master by me
sc compressor is a pain
my best song, hope you enjoy

///
making up some stupid shit that doesnt matter at all
i fucking hate it here, wish i was never involved
i swear i'll move across the country fucking hate it all
i swear if you were in my shoes you would just take them off
and it's not like i'm trying,
to be what you want
i cannot put up with lying,
or tell me it's my fault
so don't you dare look in my eyes and act like you're so appalled
i get hurt so many times, i guess it's all just my fault

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,

don't give a fuck bout what the cost is
i've been feeling nauseous
laying in my bed and you would be the one to start shit
don't know where i fuckin' lost it
"what's with you and being honest?"
yea you told me it'd get better, and you motherfuckin' promised
yea i got this dream
that you were nowhere near me
that you would fucking fear me
look in my eyes so clearly,
fed up with you
yea you watch and reuse
how i fall apart,
and i don't know what to do so,

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so

breathe

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/64GfZxurvekpLsiJLfxm9y?si=2648166d5df14f6d

produced by me
mix and mastered by me
written by me
different from my other tunes, regardless i hope you enjoy

///
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you

it crossed my mind
how you break me down
and ruin my life
but its fine!
all cool
i apologize,
if i came off rude
i couldnt help it if i tried to
you know more than i do
i'ma take a walk so i won't be home
but it provided no use for me
eyes darken when i clench my teeth
you find a way to throw it all
i lost my patience i'ma crash and fall

blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you
blood along the floor
i've been tryna find a purpose
i'm not sure
you've been running round in circles
they didn't mean to hurt you
playing my part i got nothing else to give you

purpose

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4lwq80jSYhe7jYi6SQRGpJ?si=3972c9994a224673

p. zbeatz, b2nny, spoder
mixed by me and b2nny
with @b2nny
happy holidays
note: sorry abt the high end, it will be fixed from now on, listen on like 80% volume 

///
[spoder]
every thought up in my brain
every problem that i had
it all comes right back to you
don't you come here and break my rules love

remember what i said bout winter?
i'll have a couple cold nights but i swear that it'd get better
and i'll run back to you
but you've been falling apart
building back my roof, again

why you acting so tough for no reason?
when you're on the damn floor fucking bleeding
dirt up on your name
i don't want to be so pessimistic
all these people lame
but i really feel like i've been missing

a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh

[b2nny]
don’t know how to contact you
when you way in the back of a filled up room
it’s when you're lost in my mind
caught in my head
i feel the pressure
i'd rather be dead
than be alive at this time feeling nothing at all
i'd rather smash my fucking brain on this whole damn wall
don’t want a second alone
to bathe in my thoughts
thought that i canceled tonight but i guess we can take a walk for a minute
under the flashing street lights
don’t see me winning
this moment never feel right
to me, to you, to any watchers watching
i knew this wasn't the night

[spoder]
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh
a hug or some human contact and,
i'm falling
and i don't have the will to get back up
so for lack of better words, i'm stuck
i've been praying hard that i get some better luck oh

human contact w/ b2nny

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6WoXlGle95jkszY3VAWPho?si=2327d7ba423c4d4c

produced by plantcham
written by me
mix and mastered by me

happy birthday 2 me
been incredibly uninspired as of late, sorry for the absence
wanted to try something different, happy tunes after this
i hope you enjoy :)

///
been awhile since i felt something
that felt real
my never ending thoughts
feels like im throwing rocks
can't you hear me?
i'm screaming
do you fear me?
i'm pleading
cause this just don't feel right
i don't want to cause a fight
you should live your final life
you've already ruined mine

am i
a bother?
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer
a bother
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer

can't help but feel stuck
it's all in my head
got this damn ache in my chest
just a minute of rest
is all i ask for
i don't feel bad for the way that i act
when my intention was for you to relax
so calm down
breathe in
what's the point in it
when you're not feeling
been awhile since i've gone without a meaning
i wonder why you talk without a reason
cause you've already ruined life

am i
a bother?
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer
a bother
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer

crawler

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5aH6JWfAkWLyEXEwIY3HYP?si=c9882776859943a1
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/trust

produced by roku
written by me
mix and master by me

thanks for sticking with me

///
drop dead
when i said
i'll be back though :)
spending all my days at a microphone
tell em it's all broke, like your old folk
don't lie
said you wna die
give me some time
i'm hurt all over
i'll make it right
in need of a clover
but there's none here to find
is it all a little too much?
my love,
you shouldn't have broke my trust

but who am i?
jus another average skinny guy
go live your life
i can't say i understand it think my brain is fried
oh you're not tht broken
infatuation
in love with the idea of no moderation
5 pints 'fore you lay down
my dear,
rough past make you wanna leave town

heart race like a hundred miles
my fate has been sewn a while
upset when they read the file
disgust, how is it so vile?

jus let it down softly
how could you done harm me?
faceless
sorry
scarred up
hardly
was it all at my fault?
tough luck
i'm done speaking to a wall

drop dead
when i said
i'll be back though
spending all my days at a microphone
tell em it's all broke, like your old folk
don't lie
said you wna die
give me some time
i'm hurt all over
i'll make it right
in need of a clover
but there's none here to find
is it all a little too much?
my love,
you shouldn't have broke my trust

repeat

trust

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3FeLYX0lYV5CkrFakaqTjj?si=edd3f4d959054cae
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/septembers-burial

produced by ryan (@rywrrd)
co-produced by me

unorthodox and mellow but means a lot, thank you for listening <3
i'll be more consistent next year, i promise 

i know it goes without saying but i hate your guts
spent a couple months, fucked around, came close to giving up
don't show up, right now
i've grown older, i'm not that dumb now
i'll tell you it's fine and i'll leave you to be
you've got no right here to cry and i'm grinding my teeth for you
i've got a lot to say,
but i'd rather not speak 'till your up at my grave
the stupid look on my face
you could take it back but i promise the damage won't be replaced
i'll, move far so i don't have a care
that's if i don't die before next year
for the better or the worse,
i flipped my insides out and tried to make it work
won't it be fun when they find out
out through your door and through the gate your quiet speech is like a mouse
tell me, who is laughing now?
there's so much for you to see
i bite down and clench my teeth
there's so much for you to see
i'll be there, give me a week.

september's burial

spoder

Popular tracks