spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/16aPg17al8DKBm8LyMn4eE?si=9f8e74ca0f344527
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/cd-feat-ry-2

guitar by othello
additional production by me and ryan
written and performed by me and ryan
with @rywrrd (show him love please)

i lied i'm sorry next one will be a summer tune <3
thank you for listening always :)

///
a toast,
play your cd
the music brings you peace
alone
so don't mind me
I had a stupid dream again

you thought you had from the start
I don't want have to break your heart
but it broke
and now that cd drowns in static
a sour note
I highly doubt it

your favourite song
your radio I turn it on
we fell in love in your shitty car
with static on your heart
screaming out our favourite part

I made a stupid decision
in my mind, clouded dumb inference
I gave it all that I had
but all I had was indifferent
I'd break my arms off to help you
if it meant that you would listen
I stare and talk to the wall
scratched disc had tarnished the image
I thought I loved you

cd w/ ry

produced by eeryskies
additional production by me
mixed, written, performed by me

yeah, all the bad thoughts tend to loop back
i won't stay here longer if it don't matter
i prefer a walk then to call a cab
who knew leaving home would be this sad?
suppose i had it coming, now i just laugh
yeah, it's all fine if you don't think of it
if you do then you'll drown like an idiot kid
don't make me feel dumb again
give it one more try to make things right
tell me one more lie to cover your ass alright
i'd rather just bat an eye

how'd you like your coffee done? i'd do it right for you
lacklustre attempt at the best
i pour the creamer in and suddenly had knots in my chest
told you with honesty and honestly, i'd rather be dead
i told my mom i'm fine, i gave my aunt a hug
i'll spend my night inside while everyone has fun
i'll flip my insides out
i'll make you proud of me
but everytime that i'm down
it seems like you want to leave

what do you want from me?
i'm pleading down on my knees
what do you want from me?
it's getting harder to breathe
what do you want from me?
we'd make it past it i thought
i'll put my heart in a lock
and i'll just plead to god you'll be here

a couple lines across my arms
suppose that time is just a concept and we all return to god
i'd like to say i'm so mature, i did my chores, i handled love, i broke my bones, might take my life it was traumatic, i tried it twice my mind is rapid
i thought i had it all
now i have no one to call my own

i'll flip my insides out
i'll make you proud of me
but everytime that i'm down
it seems like you want to leave

what do you want from me? / take me back, i love you
i'm pleading down on my knees / take me back, i'll give the space that you need
what do you want from me?
it's getting harder to breathe /  take me back, take me back, i love you
what do you want from me? /  take me back, i love you
we'd make it past it i thought /  take me back, i'll give the space that you need my darling
i'll put my heart in a lock
and i'll just plead to god you'll be here / take me back, take me back, i miss you

coffee

produced by cmb
written, mixed, performed by me
i love you always
hope you're well ^.^

///
you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again 

i told my pops i'll be okay
he knows that i can't sleep at night
the thought of you with someone else replays like hell i'm petrified 
my arms stained crimson red
i wish you'd kiss me and tell me that it's all in my head
feel like a psycho i stalk you and then go back to bed
without you i would rather be dead
without you i would

forget all that i said
unscrew my head and put another, lay me down to rest
couple folks told me i need to let it go
told them they’re crazy and i left
i know that i could be a handful baby it’s part of my nature
fool me once, you fooled me twice, so much for asking for a favour
why do you look so blue?
your eyes have lost their colour bae, what’s bothering you?
don’t mistake me for a loon, i see right through you
it’s not a secret i miss you oh i see right through you
it’s not a secret i love you

you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again

lifetime

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham
outro by aftrr
additional production by me

I packed all my bags and left my home town
And when I come I want to be something
Make my dad proud
Oh isn’t it obvious love?
That I miss you so dearly
Can you hear me?
Oh I’ll make it easy

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Wore up your shoes kicking dirt in my face
It’s how it’s supposed to be love
God strike me down from above
Just tell me what you really want
What you really want

At a rest stop in a car with some people I don’t know
Maybe if we didn’t live far then our eyes would both be glowing gold
Dream girl don’t love me no more (don’t throw it away)
Threw my morals out like a whore (you threw it away)
You don’t gotta save me darling
I spent the last month getting high
Wishing I wasn’t alive and steady crying
I told myself don’t die yet
That’d be so violent

I’ve been up all night for you
Ruin my mind for you
Giving all this time for you
Peeling back my eyes for you
Oh baby can’t you see? (that my head is on the floor, bae head is on the floor)
Oh baby can’t you see? (do you love me anymore bae, love me anymore?)
Love me anymore

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be? (go!)
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?

home

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by micheal harrison
additional production by me, nerc

There's no need to cry
There's no need to worry
I'm right here my love
Tell me you can hear me
When I call your name out
There's something that fears me

There's something that fears you
What are you afraid of?
So what if I get near you?
So what if I know your in and outs?
So what if I know you deep down?
So what if I know your true self?      
Bae I'm never here to hurt you

My pretty girl

I wrote your name on the paper until I fell asleep
I pray to god that you're healing and find some inner peace
I tried to end it couldn't tell you what's got into me
Reach both my hands out and saw something that I'd never seen
We were so damn young
So damn young
So damn-
And it's not your fault
It's not your fault

My pretty girl
You’re such an angel my love
I miss you I miss you so so damn much
I miss you oh I-

my pretty girl

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham

They tell me that I’m dumb
Shit, I agree with them
Yea, I was out tryna find solace
Picked up the j and couldn’t put it down
Couldn’t tell you who I am now
Left home to make my dad proud but I done lost my whole mind wow
I still, I still love you dearly
I don’t, I don’t want no one near me
And don’t dare offer me a cig yea that shit fucking disgusting

I’ll be gone
So so damn far
I was wrong
To lend you my heart
Are you better than?
You are heaven sent
5150
Now I’m hell bent
And I did it once
I’ll do it again
Get me out the city
Need a soul cleanse

Told the teller I’ve been so exhausted
He laughed and told me “go and shut your noggin”
I give more than I take like way too often
I built and lay down in my own coffin
Miss the days where I would watch the train go by
Don’t care if it’s fake, want to be yours tonight
Tell me what you want or where your heart resides
Tell me what you-
Tell me what it feels like
Tell me what it-

We’re young baby have pride in it
Spent the last five months thinking I’d die before I turn nineteen baby
Turn around, put your fists up
Wish I didn’t fucking miss ya
Turn around, put your fists up
I’ll be there cause I need ya
Tell another lie
Maybe in another life
Don’t think twice
I’ll show you I’m able this time

Told the teller I’ve been so exhausted
He laughed and told me “go and shut your noggin”
I give more than I take like way too often
I built and lay down in my own coffin
Miss the days where I would watch the train go by
Don’t care if it’s fake, want to be yours tonight
Tell me what you want or where your heart resides
Tell me what you-
Tell me what it feels like
Tell me what it-

5150

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by neverforever
additional production by me

They say, “give it time”
Suppose it’s only right
I wore a smile until the days had turn to night
I watched my knees give out as soon as I saw the text
I laid my conscience down to rest
I watched my options fade to grey
Till there was nothing left
I don’t wanna feel this way
I don’t wanna deal with it no more
The things I love about you
Are things I wish I could change

Are things I wish I could change
Are things I wish I could change
Wish I could change
You tore a hole in my brain
Pick up a piece of my remains
And leave the rest up to fate (are things I wish I could change)
Cause babe I feel like a slave
And I can’t deal with the pain
Don’t tell me it was all in vein
Oh these are things I wish I could change

change

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by kire

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

Spent a month baby fuck- a lifetime
How do I say this so it come out right
Felt god let my hand out
Let it freeze up cause it felt nice
Pray I’ll see you again
Pray to god the phone rings and we’ll make amends
Pray to god my life don’t end
Pray to god won’t bloody up my arms and cry my eyes out again
Pray to god you’ll be fine if I’m on tomorrow’s paper
Love I hate to be a hater
But my eyes have grown so vacant
Know you love it when I say it
Like some shit about my music
Wrote my songs about you, won’t you take a listen?

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

forswear

produced by nvrmindreid
everything else by me
love ya

lyrics:

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

i place my cards down face up
scour my room for a quick buck
spend all that dollars that i had
on something that gon make me feel sum
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do something
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do some-
i wrap my arms round my waist
how many days will it take
i look at you in the face
and tell a lie what a waste
i feel the weight of my body
i'm too ashamed to look up
exhale the smoke in my lungs
and forget where i came from

have you took a look at the news baby
you're even prettier now baby
spinning in my head all around baby
and i can't seem to get you out baby

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

spoder

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