this is an original song that i wrote for a certain someone who will never see this. 

note: i wrote this song in five minutes some time ago, so it is simple for a reason. i may make a longer, more complicated version in the future. 

lyrics down below -

verse 1

hey, i think i really like you,
yes i really like you
i don't know what to do 
it hurts so much
i gave you all my kisses
gave you all my wishes
you threw them away

chorus
that's just my luck
just my luck
it's just my luck
just my luck

verse 2
hey, i think i really hate you
yes, i really hate you
i don't know what to do
this really sucks
i wrote you a letter
says i'm sorry
you threw it away

chorus

verse 3
hey, i think i really miss you
yes i really miss you
you meant a lot
i don't know what to say
i don't wanna ruin you
but i can't quite say screw you
i don't wanna ruin you 
so i'll go away
i'll go away
i'll go away. 

just my luck

a cover of antichrist by the 1975. (piano arrangement by me, please ask if you would like me to write up cords or any notation for it! :D)

NOTE: i cut part of the song out (the criminals verse) because of lack of time, and i apologize for any background noise as i was not alone in my house when i was recording. those things aside, i really do hope you enjoy! this is one of my favorite songs. 

xoxo. 

antichrist // the 1975

this is a rough cover of the chain by ingrid michaelson.

part of it was a little high for my voice, so sorry if it sounds awkward in any parts. 


 ty to my sister for providing a harmony in part of it and allowing me to test that out.

love always,

anaka 

the chain // ingrid michaelson

i was playing around on the piano the other day and recorded this on my phone, (hence the sub-par quality :c) 
i hope you like it!

-----

lyrics:

verse 1

oh, give it up
you don't give a fuck
oh give it up,
all of this for what?
for what, for what (x2)
oh, give it up
you don't care too much

verse 2
oh, please don't go
i don't have a home
no, please don't go
don't leave me all alone
alone, alone (x2)
where did you go?
left me on my own

bridge
oh, please stay
wouldn't have it any other way
no, don't say hate
let's call it distaste

chorus

oh hey, hey
no way, way
you don't feel the same
so go, oh
no don't, no
don't leave me all alone
oh no, no
oh no, no
where did you go?
oh no, no
oh no, no
you are not a ghost
but no, oh,
but no, no
you still haunt me 
when i'm all alone
oh no, no
oh no, no
where did you go?

outro

where did you go?
left me all alone
where did you go? (x4)

where did u go?

track one off my EP, "my house on sunday," available Jan. 3rd on Spotify and iTunes. 

lyrics:

verse 1 

sure, you may be feeling crazy
sure, you may be loveless lately
but whats that got to do
what's that got to do with me?

verse 2

people change and now i'm gone
will someone else love me
as the day is long
oh i can't see what 
you've got to do with me

chorus

i'm so sorry for what we did oh i
am so sorry for all we lived through
but i can't see what it's got to do with me
i'm so sorry for being myself, oh i
am so sorry for this living hell 
but i can't see what it's got to do with-

verse 3

sure there may be consequences
to our limitless defenses
but what's that got to do
what's that got to do with-

verse 4

sure i guess we could've been great
but there's a fine line
between the love and the hate 
and i can't see what 
you could feel for-

chorus

what's that got to do with me? // acoustic

the third track off my ep, "my house on sunday," available Jan. 3rd on Spotify and iTunes. 

lyrics:

verse 1

gone,
not here, not anywhere
you're gone
and i guess i will be too
if i can not be with you
if i can not be with you
it's true, it's true

verse 2

yeah you're gone
and what's the point of living
if we're not even here for long
i just lost myself
and no one will help
i'm gone
i am gone, i am gone, i am gone, i am gone

bridge

is it right to mourn
something we can only have
something we can only hold onto
for so long
and does it work to care
about the why and the where

chorus

who can say if we have purpose?
who can tell us we are worthless?

we are worth it, we are worth it
life is worth it, life is worth it...

you're just, what, gone? // acoustic

this one's for me. 

lyrics:

saw you in my dreams again
in them you were more than a friend
do you kiss like that?
it made me sad

let you in my heart and mind
think about you all the time
do you think of me?
tell me honestly
i could never leave
i know you'd never talk to me
if i didn't say hello constantly
why am i so scared?
i feel safe when there is care
so if you care... then why am i shaking?

i like you the most
but i'm just dirt and you are coast
they flock to you
what can i do?

you're not all that i have
but you make me happy when i'm sad
and it means a lot
even if you...

forgot me again, oh i know i should get
that you want it to end
but you say that you don't,
so what is the truth?
yeah i'm talking to you!
yeah i'm talking to you, 
please tell me

why am i shaking? why am i shaking again
don't want it to end
don't want you to end.

if nothing is wrong, then why am i shaking?

a cover of an unreleased song off lana's new album, Lust for Life.
i don't own this song or the instrumental!! all rights go to the respective owners 
instrumental from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSj_NLiljOM

(the lyrics aren't finalized and neither is all of the melody so i just sorta played around w this one)

lyrics:

Darlin'
I said real love
It's like feeling no fear
When you're standing in the face of danger
'Cause you just want it so much

[Verse 1]
A touch
From your real love
It's like heaven taking the place of something evil
And lettin' it burn off from the rush
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus]
Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you
I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine
Rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches (are ruined)

[Verse 2]
Love I said real love
It's like smiling when the firing squad's against you
But you just stay lined up
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus]
Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you
I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine
Rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches (are ruined)

[Bridge]
My rose garden dreams
Set on fire by fiends
And all my black beaches (are ruined)
My celluloid scenes
Are torn at the seams
And I fall to pieces
I fall to pieces
When I'm with you

(Why?)

[Chorus]
'Cause I love you so much
I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine
Rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches (are ruined)
 

[Outro]
Mmm (Are ruined)
Mmm (Are ruined)
And I fall to pieces

cherry // lana del rey

a piano + vocals cover of my favorite song off melodrama! all rights go to lorde and co. <3

chords: 
verse 1- D major, C major
verse 2- D major, C major, G major 

bridges: D major, C major, G major

choruses: G major, A minor, E minor, A minor, E minor, D major

writer in the dark // lorde

from "we've all been there" 

lyrics:

i left a message on your phone
i called because you felt alone
sent a message to the stars
everything's okay 
sunshine, divine
everything will be alright
sunshine divine

sunshine baby, we'll be okay
sunshine baby, happiness hazy
west coast, east coast, best coast, no coast
no matter what we do, i want to be with you
don't you worry your mind

leave a message / second spring

i am sorry
for who i am
for what?
i don't know
but i know that i did it again
but who said that i was wrong
and who am i to care?
yeah i stitch myself up
oh so tight
i don't notice when i tear

when people disappear
well, where do they go?
all these ghosts,
they don't know me anymore
but they follow me home
you said i shouldn't care
and said it's easy to heal
yeah you live your life
like you're half dead
just to forget that you can feel

i'm not sorry
that you'll never hear me
and i'm not sorry
that you'll never 
know me at all
and i am 
so much more than i think that i am 

you, why?
you, 
cruella

cruella // second spring

<3 

lyrics 

rain is falling
i know its a stupid cliche
but for us 
it is love and lust and a pretty shade of grey
so forgive me 
for saying this today

oh no !
there's thunder but it's warm
you're making tea in the microwave 
while i figure out the stove
and maybe we'll never
get used to this place
but i've got you 
and you're my favorite kind of space

rain is falling
i wish it would stay all day
here we are
can't see the stars 
but i know they are shining anyways
and we're dancing
like the trees, how we sway

oh no!
there's thunder but it's warm
we're catching drops in the cups and pots
and turning the radio on
and i love you 
every night and every day
here in portland or california
or waimea bay

la da da da da da 

sure we'll get scared 
and we'll fight over nothing
and sure we'll have trouble
but we know we love each other

rain is falling
i know it's a stupid cliche 

and la da da da da

velvet divorce

portland // second spring

(does it even really matter?)x3 (backwards bc im indie)
had a lover 
'til he got scared
but i'm lying, 
in case you cared

the truth is what hurts the most
the truth is what charms the ghosts
the truth is that there is no truth at all

good at waiting 
waiting to see
if my kindness will be good to me

the truth is what hurts the most
the truth is what haunts the ghosts
the truth is that you were never here at all

and all of these feelings
take over everything
all of these feelings
just let me down
all of these feelings
don't mean a damn thing
yeah all of it's nothing
cuz ur not around

had a dream 
but which one was you
one to win and the rest i can lose
my fear is of common sense
my fear of abandonment 
my fear is of losing control
(i loved you i really did but now i love me)
want to hold you
to make you mine
but it hurts so much
that you don't have the time

my fears are repentance 
my fear of abandonment
my fear is of losing control

if all of these feelings
take over everything
all of these feelings
just let me down
all of these feelings
don't mean a damn thing
yeah all of it's nothing
cause ur not around
cause u'll never be around

i loved u, now i love myself

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

maybe you could love me
or maybe u should just touch me
you know that you want to 
do you, do you?
when you give me eyes like that
don't you know i want to push you 
back 
we get along 
so we can get it on

god youre so crazy 
i want you to shut up
you tell me make me
got my body heating up 
the heart is fickle yeah
but you're a work of art
you could be my man 
we don't have to be apart

if you want me
then you have me
i'm only ever yours 
whoever and wherever you are

would you tell me how you do that
make me feel like i'm yours
tell me all your secrets
or i will get bored

god youre so crazy
i want you to shut up
you tell me make me
got my body heating up
the heart is fickle yeah
but you're a work of art
you could be my man
we don't have to be apart
you made me start
to love 
and i'll never give that up
i like it when we fuck 
yeah when you fucking talk to me
tell me oh tell me
that you need me 
do you need me?

only ever yours // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

n'importe quoi
peu importe porquoi
les autres, ne m'interesse pas
seulement voudrais tu 
souvant 
forever only you 

j'aimerais que tu veux rester
mais ca va thats ok
cuz i am just glad that i met you
voudrais parler sur tout le chose avec toi
mais seulement 
if you let me
do u want me

est-ce que tu m'aime
est-ce que tu m'aime
est-ce que tu m'aime 

est-ce que tu penses sur moi
comme je penses sur toi 
oh dit moi est-ce que tu m'aime

bien sur la vie 
ca depend du sexe
mais je voudrais quel que chose
different
par example ton amour

j'espere que tu fasse attention a moi 
la vie et fluide mais i want you to stay
stay with me
je vous juste t'embrasser une fois 
ca va

voudrais juste t'embrasser un fois // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

i am not alone
but sometimes it feels like
the whole world's stoned
i take too much advice 
about all these things that
aren't in my life 

i'll wait 
all night
scared straight 
fair fight
i'll wait 
all night for you 
for you 

i think hopelessly
it's hard to escape
the melody
of fear
it pulls you in 
and just when you're out
you're back again

nothing matters
except for this laughter
i wish i felt this way
i wish i felt this way
nothing matters
except for this laughter
i wish i felt this way
i wish i felt this way 
but i'll wait 
all night
scared straight
fair fight 
i'll wait 
all night 
for you, for you

i wish, i was // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

for all i say and do
i dont know how to talk to you 
anymore
rumor has it 
but it's true
that i am half in love with you
what a bore

oh what a tangled web we weave
oh how i never seem to sleep
im too busy thinking of things that can never be 

for all i mean to you
i don't know how much is true
probably nothing
but what you mean to me
is for some reason everything
see why it hurts

oh what a tangled web we weave 
oh how i never seem to sleep 
when will i learn to let you be 
it's never gonna work out

on and on 
it goes on and on
when will it stop?

for all i mean to you // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

ok, it starts like this
because i can't see you 
this might get a little weird
i'll do my best
you do the rest
i hope that someday you'll appear
maybe in my bedroom 
si vous voulez
or maybe in your living room
nous pouvons parler
nous avons parler

i can see you sitting there
in my mind
tell me what are you thinking of
i'm glad we have all this time
it's so good to have forever
it's so good to not exist
you are just a portrait of a ghost
and all i need is this

except wait 
there has to be more
you can't keep on floating through doors
don't mind me
i'm just scared of being ghosted
cuz i find all of my lovers
in the graveyards that they've haunted

haunt me 
don't you want me
little ghost

portrait of a ghost // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

my mother doesn't love him anymore
there's secrets hidden in these doors
i'd like to skip school because
i think that i'm depressed
but instead i sit
and write these songs
and act like i'm not a mess
yeah instead i sit and write these songs
they let me be a mess

i'm everyone and everything
i dont have an identity
but i think i'll be okay
i think i'll be okay
i want to live in the future
cuz i think im better there
but im stuck in the present
missing the moments
watching life pass me by 

i want to love myself for who i am
but who am i 
be like the holy father and
forgive every little sin, yeah
i want to dance
and be in love
with no deeper thinking of
but i think i'll be okay 
yeah we've all been there anyways
i think ill be ok
i hope

we've all been there // second spring

hey!! all of these are unproduced voice memo songs of my past/ up thru this year! they all have different stories behind them so i thought i would tell them to you! check my insta @2ndspr1ng if you want the behind-the-emo juicy gossip.

lyrics

embarrassing, i am 
holding on to pipe dreams
every time that i can 
(which is always)
different 
but also the same
but it don't matter what they say
it all begins when you say my name

say my name
cause me pain

lonely i am 
i'm not making lots of plans
i just like to pretend that i am
one track mind
and swollen heart
tho im always ending
at the start

with poison lungs
i learned to breathe
and i remember everything
with poison lungs
my thoughts can breathe
and i don't listen when i speak

say my name (DEMO) // second spring

thank u lauren for the beautiful painting inspired by bob ross also i will change the cover if u want me to im just inpatient 

hello it is my return from the void,, this song was written a long time ago in august when i was feeling the pre-college blues, i only just recorded it today in december after a semester of school and honestly i no longer share the angsts of this song but wanted to share anyways!!

lyrics
silly little witch
casting spells that dont fix
anything, anything
stuck in a dream
mouth full of stars
so she can't scream
and all she wants is
to know the answers
to everything (to everything)
in the eyes of her past
where death doesn't last
she saw pretty things

and experiences are
just that
she knows for a fact
but she's still scared of 
disappointment
she knows for a fact
but she's still scared of the future
and that life's not magic
she knows for a fact

silly little girl
always hiding from the world
she can't control all that
so she hides in fact
she's stuck in her mind
all the time
she just reads her lines
and all she loves 
feels miles above
and far away
she's scared it might leave
of things she can't see
she's scared of everything
she's scared of everything

well alright then 
alright 
well alright then
alright alright alright

second spring

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