after years of dreaming of making music, i finally did it. i never had the confidence, knowledge or the support system i needed to feel comfortable until i had a great group of friends to push me and ill be forever grateful for love and support 🖤

decayed

mixed and mastered by @bloodl3ak 

lyrics: 

cause i don’t wanna think abt it 
all the years and months of hatred 
surrounded by all the things i hated 
i don’t know where to go from here 
do i dry my face and wipe my tears 
it’s only pain and sadness here 
i’ll stay locked in my room another year 
wish it would all disappear 


@bloodl3ak
I've been lost for a while
Feels like I've been walking miles
Keep going, blood flowing
No one ever hears me out
Time is wasted, I'm feeling so vacant
Locked away, I hope this time I don't Make it
And I hated when you kissed me
All you did was mislead
Pulled me by my heart
Nothing's ever gonna fix me
It's that time of day where the Memories plague
All I want is to stay away


cause i don’t wanna think abt it 
all the years and months of hatred 
surrounded by all the things i hated 
i don’t know where to go from here 
do i dry my face and wipe my tears 
it’s only pain and sadness here 
i’ll stay locked in my room another year 
wish it would all disappear

disappear w/ bloodl3ak

lyrics:


Trying to find the right words to say 
Kick me out, throwing shit on my name 
Tell me that i’m going insane
That’s because you fucking made me that way
You always try to feed me these lies
Picking apart my brain to say i’m mentally insane  

I walk home alone at midnight, I’m scared for my life
If only you were here with me, you’d tell me i’d be just fine
Another night without you, I wanna take my life 
I’m lying, im always crying writing about you in my head 
I needed you to feel something, and now i wish i’m dead 

Trying to find the right words to say 
Kick me out, throwing shit on my name 
Tell me that i’m going insane
That’s because you fucking made me that way
You always try to feed me these lies
Picking apart my brain to say i’m mentally insane

12am

mixed & mastered by @boodl3ak :p

lyrics:

You tell me that every single day is the same 
That every single effort thats made,
thats all a shame. you wish you could simply
 just blow out your brains
every single fucking time you hear you me 
calling ur name. 
the time is gone, the love is lost,
 i told you went to far. 
but you made it seem like loving me
was too goddamn hard 

you made me feel like this,
like i was just a burden. 
you always told me fibs, 
acted like i didnt exist 
i took back my heart, 
ripped and torn apart 
i took a step back then, 
the then the fear creeps in

l3ak: 
And I tried wait in faith 
Oh, and you’re always far away 
Girl, I guess I don’t wanna wait
Oh, I can’t fucking run away

I can’t tell if it’s you or me
Poison my heart with your ecstasy
I can never breathe when you’re next to me
Oh, but that’s how I want it to be

And it stays misdirection, I can’t complain 
Your heart was something I couldn’t obtain
Im rotting away 
Another book filled with pain

I can’t tell if it’s you or me
Poison my heart with your ecstasy
I can never breathe when you’re next to me
Oh, but that’s how I want it to be

ecstasy w/ bloodl3ak

lyrics: 

cvpidd: 
I’m tryna live my life but i’m not sure how to feel now
Go to sleep every night and pray i don’t come down 
Relying on the drugs to feel somewhat content now 
I tell myself i’m fine but i’m really so shallow 
The walls feeling narrow
Empty and hallow 
Glue myself back together get shot with an arrow 
I’m cupid not eros 
Can i fly like a sparrow 
If i jumped would i even survive i’m suicidal 
Not like the idol 
I’m not winning this battle 
Should i really even try is it worth all the hassle
All the chains and the shackles 
My brain goes in spirals 
I hope this is all a dream and i wake up beside you 

kishin:
I been filling up lungs smoking gas
I been on my own in my bag
Bae just keep it real cut the act
I don’t want to leave you in the past
yeah, i got too much on my mind
i can’t waste no time, i been on my grind
look into my eyes, i could never tell you lies
i been thuggin it out, ain’t no point in ever crying
keep a lot of secrets you don’t know
i can never tell you, no
i got too much i could show
bae could you answer the phone
came a long way no i cannot let up
s/o my slimes they got my back
been through too much i can’t go back 
i’ll take the blame, know it’s my bad


veezuh: 
I cant even tell u how i feel
The way i feel is so surreal
U know i never understood my appeal
Sometimes it's hard to feel real
Yea, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know
That u craving my touch, hold me close
If i lose u, might as well be comatose
This shit don't get me high anymore, need a bigger dose
I've been in ur heart, i see all the faults you have and the Faults you see
When u look in my eyes do u see me?
If i know the truth, then i'll be complete
I remember all the times when i used to call u baby
Do i love u anymore? i guess it's a maybe
I don't really like how you've been you actin shady 
I've been fallin deeper, don't think u can save me
Crazy

beside u w/ kishin & veezuh (nightiger)

lyrics: 

you say you love me do u really mean it 
did you really mean it? 
all those photographs you had, did you just delete it
did you just delete it? 
so many words that are stuck in my brain 
tears always falling and they dropping like rain 
seeming content but i’m going insane 
nothing can prepare me for the things that you say 
you use all my weaknesses then pushed me away
tell me that you hate me then you beg me to stay 
fucking with my brain baby just please go away
 i try to keep composure but you make me insane 

kojo:
i cant function
can we just switch the topic this time
i swear your words dont come from inside 
whats the point if we still both cant decide 
swear i saw the light now im going blind 
cant just run from what is hiding inside 
cant go outside without this chill by my side


so many words that are stuck in my brain 
tears always falling and they dropping like rain 
seeming content but i’m going insane 
nothing can prepare me for the things that you say 
you use all my weaknesses then pushed me away
tell me that you hate me then you beg me to stay 
fucking with my brain baby just please go away
 i try to keep composure but you make me insane

did u mean it w/ kojo (forzen)

lyrics:

Don't know where i am now, stuck up in my head
I don't wanna move now, i'm just in my bed
Why can't you love me instead
why must you leave me for dead
Why you always angry, yeah you always seeing red
Anxious attachment, can't be left on read
Yeah I took your word for it, on my heart you tread
I'm gon break out my shackles, out my case i shed
Set me free from this
Yeah you lied to me when you said it's painless
Steel knife, but it's no longer stainless
Putting gates around my heart, imma chain it
Can't show you myself, i'm ashamed of it
Feel like I don't deserve sympathy, no not a little bit
I don't wanna hurt you, cuz i'd be a hypocrite
You don't got no virtue, and i'm fuckin sick of it


I'm so fuckin sick of it,
you call you say you wish me Dead.
Pull me in and i fall for it
Pour my feelings out, i'm a mess
Try again, i swear that i'm deeper
Follow me around yeah you're just like the reaper
All up in my head like god should I leave first?
Ion really like her i don't know if ill keep her
Falling deeper
So much overthinking need a breather
Yeah i'm tryna keep on standing, but my knees hurt
All this chaos in my life think imma need her
Yeah i'm fallin, fallin again
God i wish but was near the end
I got all these scars and dread
And it's piling up in my head
Wishing I could do so much more
But waking up is already a chore
Mix the meds with so much more
I don't wanna be alive anymore.

Don't know where i am now, stuck up in my head
I don't wanna move now, i'm just in my bed
Why can't you love me instead
Why must you leave me for dead
Why you always angry, yeah you always seeing red
Anxious attachment, can't be left on read
Yeah I took your word for it, on my heart you tread
I'm gon break out my shackles, out my case i shed

anxious attachment w/ veezuh (prod. rippo & kuru)

lyrics: 

The sun sets tonight and you're always there
look into your eyes and you're staring here
And I know that tonight that i'll shed a tear
Because the moment you get home you say we
End it here
I wanna disappear
Gone without no fear
There's nothing in this world that'll keep me here
You say you try your best but you're insincere
How could you stand to look at yourself in the mirror
Your words they hurt like bullets
And i swear you knew from the start
So who put you up to it?
Was it your goal to break my heart?
And i swear these scars aren't mine
Just the ones you left behind
And your words won't leave my mind
No matter how hard i try

bloodl3ak:
Siempre voy a estar aqui
I don't wanna leave
Se que las cosas no pueden seguir
pensando en tus besos
Siempre estas lejos
Mi cora estaba tan menso
(How could I let go?)
Podemos volver?
Oh I know that I've been a mess
Espero cada mes para volverte a ver
Cicatriz en mi piel
I been running out of time now
Do you care? I'll never find out
Everything's been going down down
Love it when you tear me down
Eres lo que me falta
Por que no me dices que me amas?

4hantasy:
Tears of a kingdom not feeling fine
I fucked up my life so im doing a line
I'm feeling so broken
My heart has been stolen
Damn im so fucked up i wish i never woken
Fucked up
I cant feel none
Scars on my wrist like im real numb
On a real note i just love pain
Pushed me to my limit yea i feel insane
Issey miyake my jeans yea
Fell in love with this pain yea
Stab me in my heart
I cant feel none but this cart
Feeling so high
Might cry yea
I dont even know
So send me a doctor i need some help yea

scarz w/ bloodl3ak & 4hantasy

lyrics:

Getting myself out of the abyss 
Trying hard, but there’s no easy fix 
Waves crashing down while i kiss your lips 
Open my eyes, was i imagining this? 
So tell me where you are right now?
I can’t take another night in this lonely town
Fighting with my demons, i can hear them growl 
Cover my ears, i just block them out 

I know i got a death wish but god not now 
I pray another night that you’ll just keep me around 
Bleeding from my skin, i feel the angels frown 
I’m sorry for my sins but i can’t fix them now.
 
I try to keep my head up, block out the noise 
Board up these walls to keep them out
There’s nothing here to save me, 
Baby please just sedate me 
The walls are spinning round and around 
I’m fighting for my safety baby please just 
Restrain me, I always knew you’d let me down
I asked for you to save me, yet you only betrayed me 
And now i’m coming crashing down 

Arkaeo: 
Left me crashing down
You stabbed my back, now I’m bleeding out
Who’s gonna save us now 
We were always just on the edge of perfection
Loved me now you won’t even look my direction
I was tryna hold you til the truth came out 
Dreams of hanging from the ceiling 
til my room fades black
And I don’t really wanna talk about it 
Oh snake eyes
I don’t wanna feel a single thing anymore 
And all the late nights
Drinking til I’m blackout wake up on the floor 
I don’t really want this
If we can’t grow up and talk about it
Can you really call this love 
If you fuck up and you can run around it

I try to keep my head up, block out the noise 
Board up these walls to keep them out
There’s nothing here to save me, 
Baby please just sedate me 
The walls are spinning round and around 
I’m fighting for my safety baby please just 
Restrain me, I always knew you’d let me down
I asked for you to save me, yet you only betrayed me 
And now i’m coming crashing down.

sins w/ arkaeo (trynacommunicate)

Lyrics: 

 cvpidd: 
Is there only one way to let you go? 
I walk through the snow, tryna find my way home 
You asked me if i still love you, god i just don’t know
So many things written that i can’t decode 
Now we’re fallin, we’re fallin again 
Where does this go? 
Is it just another empty road that i can’t follow?
There’s all these voices that are dragging me down 
I sunk so low 
Baby don’t try to find me because then i can’t let go
Baby just let me go
Please don’t follow me home 
I’ve seen right through your lies 
And i know that i gotta go
You’ve always been so cold 
Left when i needed you most 
So don’t come crawlin, come crawlin back 
Yeah to me you’re a ghost. 


frendi: 
I promised to change, but i can't for you love
I know you want me, but I can't fall in love
From the rooftop, i cry, i cry
Can you hear me? cause I know it ain't nun that we can't Talk about
Lately i've been feeling that you're not around
Promise me that you won't just fall down, oh fall down
Cause i know, and you know, that we gotta let go
From the stories untold, and nothing ain't golden
And i know that you know it, baby, baby
Sometimes i think about you on the daily, daily
Ain't a game, but you always tryna play me, play me

where does this go? w/ yung frendi

lyrics :D 

cvpid:
there’s nothing that i cant feel, through the void 
I’m tryin like every day, but I’m so paranoid
you said you could heal my soul
that you destroyed 
but now i’m left with just an empty voice. 


yvnghomieryan:
look inside my soul
tell me what you see 
things weren’t meant to be this way
but the life we had is just fading away 

the sky’s gone gray
and i don’t know anymore 
could we go back to before 
all this

or ill fall into the abyss. 



cvpid:
so don’t fear the reaper
he don’t always mean death 
maybe just a wake up call 
to speak from your chest.
stop living every day buried in stress
let it eat you alive and kill you 
just like the rest 
you try to take your life, you see his face 
you’re a mess. 
fade in and out of consciousness, 
was this all a test? 
see your mom by your side, 
crying out “why the meds?”
“i can’t outlive my child god just let me be next.”

void w/ yvnghomieryan

Mixed and mastered by me & Leo IV <3

Lyrics: 

First time that i ever saw you
I knew that i loved you, you said it was not true
Calling every night now, please just let me reach you
You consume my mind now
Every night i’m with you
So, tell me all your secrets
Bae you know i got you
You can let your guard down
If you need someone to talk to
Tell me life is hard love, i know ive been there too
I promise i’ll protect you
You’re the one i’ll give my love to

Leo IV: 
Know that i been missing you 
Ever since we fell apart
I done saved the best for you 
Promise ill protect your heart 
This ain’t what you wanted oh 
Thought i was your superstar 
You been moving on & shit 
But i just bought a faster car 
A fairytale It ain’t real 
Just a story brought around 
Is you there 
Can i feel 
Bring me here when i get down 
White pills turn to powder 
Cant save no superpower 
Cannot hear you say it louder 
Wish that you would say it louder


First time that i ever saw you
I knew that i loved you, you said it was not true
Calling every night now, please just let me reach you
You consume my mind now
Every night i’m with you
So, tell me all your secrets
Bae you know i got you
You can let your guard down
If you need someone to talk to
Tell me life is hard love, i know ive been there too
I promise i’ll protect you
You’re the one i’ll give my love to

cupid (⑉• ﻌ •⑉) (@cvpidd4)

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