The Stand

0:00 "That Funny Feeling" - Bo Burnham
4:48 "Sugaree" - Grateful Dead
8:23 "Skinny Love" - Bon Iver
11:35 "Take It Easy" - Eagles
14:49 "Watch It Fall" - Billy Strings
18:19 "Wagon Wheel" - Old Crow Medicine Show
22:57 "Fishing In The Dark" - Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
26:15 "Float On" - Modest Mouse
31:09 "Truckin" Grateful Dead
36:16 "Ants Marching" Dave Matthews Band
40:13 SET BREAK
48:41 "Country Roads" John Denver
52:30 "Pieces Of Me" Ashlee Simpson - Ft. Lauren Borcherding
56:29 "Casey Jones" Grateful Dead

Live At The Old Timer /  7.9.22

Song I wrote and recorded in Currier Hall my freshman year at the University of Iowa. Enjoy!

I'll Be Here All Night

When we retreat to the silence we often hear more.

Quarantine Life / I Just Might

Empty Grave by Zach Williams.

Easter 2020

Empty Grave (Zach Williams Cover)

Cover of "Three" by Sleeping at Last from the Enneagram album.

An Enneagram 3 is an Achiever.  He or she can feel pressure to wear masks.  God frees of us this because we were created in love and fully loved by him. 

When a 3 thrives they are driven internally by confidence in themselves as God created them to be.  They are authentic, modest and gentle.  They make others better and feel welcome and seen.

I can relate to feeling like I have to be someone I'm not: to fit in, to make people like or admire me, to be seen as valuable, useful, desirable etc.  Becoming fearlessly authentic, constantly honest and open with confidence in God has helped me be comfortable with being myself.  And guess what? I like that guy.

Basic Fear: Of being worthless

Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Enneagram Three with a Two-Wing: "The Charmer"

Enneagram Three with a Four-Wing: "The Professional"

Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.

THREE

maybe i’ve done enough,
and your golden child grew up.
maybe this trophy isn’t real love-
and with or without it, i’m good enough.

maybe i’ve done enough,
finally catching up.
for the first time i see an image of
my brokenness utterly worthy of love.
maybe i’ve done enough.

i finally see myself.
through the eyes of no one else.
it’s so exhausting on this silver screen
where i play the role of anyone but me.

i finally see myself.
unabridged and overwhelmed,
a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell,
but i’m slowly learning how to break this spell.
and i finally see myself.

now i only want what’s real-
to let my heart feel what it feels.
gold, silver or bronze hold no value here,
where work and rest are equally revered.

i only want what’s real-
i set aside the highlight reel,
and leave my greatest failures on display*

(*worthy of love anyway)

"Three"

Basically Boujee (Hold On Friend)

Among the small towns nestled between rolling fields and other small town. Spanish mass in rural Iowa meets the needs of a large and passionate population of Spanish speakers. 

This tells the story of one congregation in Osceola, Iowa.  Pastor Glen Wilwerding performs a traditional English service in the early hours of Sunday morning. He stays in position at the pulipt and delivers the same message in Spanish.

The sounds and tones shift as one group leaves and another enters.  The instruments change, the form moves -- but the message is the same.

The Spanish speaking community celebrates their faith in gathering.  Mayn of long time residents of Osceola push back-- and even leave.

The Language of Faith: Spanish Mass in Rural Iowa

Troy Blocker has been hanging himself and others from hooks for the past 20 years.

The most common questions/statements I receive: 1) Why would anyone do this?! 2) That is disgusting 3) This is blasphemous 4)Why are you documenting this?

This story addresses this from Troy's perspective, the perspective of a professional psychologist.  I also talked with a childhood friend who is an outspoken Christian.  

She felt it was blasphemous, insulting to God and would allow for evil spirits from the devil to take charge.  She offered me these quotes but did not want to speak on tape, which I understand and respect.

Flightless: A Soundscape

The feel of the earth under my feet
the way I think of you my heart skips beats
the stars and the moon connect me to you
oceans and waves / the future far away
the dead in the air and a box of rain
the way you give me more joy than pain
a smile not directed, directly to me 
the happiness knowing you’re happy
sparkling water in the place of beer
serenity for sleep, hope instead of fear 
the crunchiness of life as I take a bite
slinging my arrows, putting life into flight
knowing you’ll know i gave it all I got 
when the cards fall I know i bet a lot
God loves us anyways
keep going for all my days  
I only want what’s real
knowing we are the real deal
regardless of now, tomorrow I’ll always feel
love you like a friend
that’s the start and the end
no lines crossed, no stars tossed they only bend
failure I swerve, i’m keeping His plan
take you to a place where we’re constantly learning
it’s the future, I welcome it, it’s fearlessly burning
you’re a promise, a pal, with God we’re always known
it’s authentic, don’t bend it, welcome the unknown 

no , can’t take nothing from me
It’s love I give it for free
Don’t believe in pre-destiny 
Todays what we got live it fearlessly
I see where you can go
Only water what can grow
On some land we don’t yet know
I’m praying, meditating i’ve let go

Water What Can Grow (Unfinished)

Into The Trees

Humanistic Nihilist.
Musician. Filmmaker. Writer. Eye Guy.

Austin Boe Chadderdon

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