cover art by ME!

instrumental help from my friends @angelworm @vai22 & @909froko, as well as conversations and other little things from my friends Diana, Trinity, Harper & Julian

inspired by a conversation with a friend, i wish to be as transparent as possible about how i love

🦊

this collection of me and my melodies is purely a stamp of progress in me wanting to be a better version of myself.  i've realized that i struggle with things differently from a majority of people and that forcing myself to be okay with people who damaged my mentality was not a good thing at all. it took a while of reflection and talking with other people till i realized i needed to surround myself in positivity to reflect back the positivity, because i think no matter what emotion i might bring in music or art that i make, i want it to be a general step towards positivity and hopefulness. take whatever i've made and interpret it in your own journey, and if you relate to things i've said then just know that there is always available love in the world and things literally will always get better if you want to get better.

before i could speak

cover by www.instagram.com/0006_am/ (artwork) & twitter.com/CatEnjoyer (paper design)

vast collection of all of my limits and my feelings, centered around a common theme of things being taken from my life, the colors i live in, and the love that grows ever more

I'm Anew, Because of You

Twin

dire

NEXT UPLOAD IS GONNA BE THING I MENTIONED BEFORE FR THOUGH NOW SORRY

@zeen1 @skyyward @nazah @asvira @scorpiioh

departure w/ zeen, skyyward, nazah, asvira & scorpiioh

bubbles

wishbone

sable

fingerprint

spotify :)

liminary

phono w/ TSK

loving every second as i go along

@cvrsed1 @alongthewalls in cover 
happy birthday @alongthewalls love you

enter

💕
with @myabandonedhome
in association with @verrymae

absinthe

Rosewater & Happiness

we rule in this life 😃

footing

was meant to be used for a short film i helped on with friends but did not fit! 
love yall!

upon sidewalk

photo by @chewy

🦊

This green Earth can't hold me
I'm folding myself in paper
My clothes tattered
You're water, and scattered
See you, your problems

somewhere i could never be; someone i could never become

Here I am

with sounds from @gromzomb @harpfr and trinity
cover by Open End

🦊

Break my wake 
I hold onto a song 
I make sure it won't be long 
I take away my lungs
And try to breathe 
I try to breathe 
I'm aware of my own love 
I try to breathe x2

break my wake

guitar by @angelworm

🦊

My face, I hide, awake
I break a bone, or two
I lapse until the day
I trace it back to you

I know you see me hide
I hide away from you
I know you see me crying
So, what would you do?

Today had a new brain
It told me to go away
I use my legs, I run as fast as I can
I'd talk to you, but you wouldn't understand

I had a friend, he told me that life's alright
I wish I knew what he meant before he died
I had a dream, thinking if I weren't alive
I wouldn't care, but that you might

I wish I didn't care as much as people do
I wish my brain did things that that were normal, too
I wish I had someone that loved me to the moon
I wish I had someone that cared about my mood

I wish I talked to you, but I was in a hurry
I wish my mood was happy when outside was stormy
But its pitch-black outside and I feel really sad
I wish for someone to love me really bad

I know its desperate, but I suffer way too much
I know it takes a while for me to get out muck
I wish I had a brain that didn't give a fuck
I wish I had a brain that didn't get me stuck

I know I'll never go back to a year ago
I wish I went through all my life and didn't know
I know you know that you see me alone
I know you know, but you never text my phone

i wish i knew

🦊

My face holds a secret
Told by my features
My mind theater plays unto my heart, breaking
I'm still shaking
Today has wrecked me  
I'm feeling lonely

today

guitar by @angelworm

🦊

Today I'm in a box
I call it my home
I hate it when I cry
I hate it when you're home

I get comfort from my T-Shirt
I feel comfy in my universe

I wish I had you as my bestfriend
I wish I had you as my blanket
Evil love is shared in dividends
I know there's love for every language

I had a dream I knew everything
I don't know how it made me feel
Sometimes I feel I don't know anything
Sometimes I don't know what is real

my blanket

guitar by @vai22 & more guitar and other melodies by @909froko

🦊

Talked to a friend today
Wish I could run away
You know I have these days
You know I'm not afraid

I hope you know what's wrong, from what is right
I hope you know what makes people sleep at night
Yeah, you bet it keeps me up at night
Yeah you bet, yeah you bet alright

I sleep alone, with a plushie, when I'm feeling scared
I had a friend, he told me that no one really cared
I know it's lies, 'cause I know there's love in my life
I love my friends, 'cause they really stick by my side

plushie

guitar by @vai22

🦊

I'm sure I could walk today
I'm feeling great, and my lungs just won't give out

I wish my friends knew my mind the way you do
I think everything would just work out

I know you're sick and tired
I think I could just sit behind, let you calm down

But I'm just way too happy
Thinking about chances I could fulfill if I spoke out

I know my love for everyone could just be great
If only I had a mouth
I know my love for everyone could work out
just let me scream, let me shout

Sorry I lashed out today
I didn't mean it, please just hear my words
I know you hate me, it hurts
But please just keep it inside, I don't want to hear the worst

it hurts

🦊

God save my child by the river
Do your work, I'll deliver
My eyes see it, new
A braver girl
Who shares her world

God save my life, my environment
I'm struck by love, with none I've given
I wish I could be another woman
But I live my life that I am given

"Autumn Passage" by Elizabeth Alexander, and my outtake roll

Destiny Saved Me

🦊 guitar by @vai22 🦊

My ears, as they ruffle through the wind
I fear that I'm always sticking out too much
Mulch wet, as it covers the pavement
Destiny, I got things to do
You gave me, you gave me a bruise
See-through (Like glass, like glass, like glass)
See-through

Green and purple stripes, as they cover the sky
The day came, and I wish I hadn't wanted to die
Unpredictable, over-emotional
Loser! (Just a loser, baby)
You gave me a bruise
See-through (Like glass, like glass, like glass)
See-through

(Like glass, like glass) 
(Like glass, like glass) Seeing it through
(Like glass, like glass) 
(Like glass, like glass) 
(Sister, my mind) Opaque soul
(Sister, my mind) Seeing it through
(Sister, my mind) Oh, oh
(Sister, my mind)

I've been given a task
That I have to ask 
That if I loved you baby, would you love me back?
Would you hold my hand, please? 
As I knock the foam of the sea 
I'm happy, would you be happy with me?

Gave Me a Bruise

Lily Bug

Before I could speak, I had to learn to listen, kind of like you are listening now

Sacred Place, Reach Me Here

Acapella by @addivt, melody loop by @flamingoflamingoflamingo

You can't see my eyes, I'm set free
My soul, bright, fills the moon, it helps me

And I knew from an instant
And I knew from an instant
That it was love
That it was love, oh

Getting love was my only problem, my blue moon red
Getting there is my only problem, and I bare to see the wake

[Me & Addivt singing together]

Instant

Samples "Change" by Alex G

No words, I fell hard to a fallen star
Can't speak, haven't had it since I fell so hard
Never knew I could break when I came so far
Wish for a hopeful day but I know it won't be tomorrow

I'll **** myself cause I'm lost to a broken cycle
Hurtful words won't make u quit, but I know that I will
Only got a little more before I lose my mind to
Fears deep in my mind I can't seem to hide, too

I know I tried to be your friend I know its lost
I'm scared to take the pain and later I suffer the cost
I'm scared I know my brain and know what happens when I'm lost
I'm scared ill bite the bullet, leave me out in plains to frost

I *** my skin, 'cause I'm scared, don't know what to do
It's all over, I regret it, then I start anew
Brains a ship, in a storm, I'm only the crew
Have a lot to fix, but u don't even think it's true

That's a life and it comes with pain
Stick with something, watch it sink and go down in the drain
18 years, to feel normal, get it from my pain
Live 2 lives, and let 1 ruin everything

That just shows how well u depend
Live a life, doing nothing, will it all end
My emotions barely come, but they times 10
Get too much, had to redo it all again

Do it all again, life restart
rethink everything, pick and choose your life apart
you had nothing better to do, stick with something
stick with something that u can do, then you're really smart

Great way to get into a rut
Emotions all expressive and full, till they get shut
If you can't handle the trouble, then good luck!
I got 2 or 3 years to get my shit tucked

Fallen Star

Savior

I hope everyone thinks of me when I think of them (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
I hope everyone loves me when I love them (Cause I do, cause I do)
And I know everything I say has an impact (Big or little, big or little)
It hurt me, you could've gone without saying that (Your words are litter, your words are litter)

(My world)

Fluffy solids, sheets of snow
Earth evolving, learn to grow
I saw something, you don't know
Never tell it, problems flow

I had a fear to lose, but I still talked to you anyway
Overthinking, mind abused, I realized life's still great without you anyway (Anyways, anyway)

Think Of Them

Guitar by Artisama

Fly from Chicago to the Moon (And take everything)
With it you don't know what I'd do (I'd take everything)
I'm quiet cause my heart is broken (I hide everything)
September, your feelings well-spoken (Everything)

I am afraid, I am afraid of
Breaking the wake, breaking the wake of

Blue (Love)
Taking (I am, I am, I am, I am)
Still (Love)
I feel (I am, I am, I am, I am)

Fearful, fear (Don't stop me)
Fearful, fear (Unlucky)
You (Unlucky, unlucky)

Wish I could take it all back
Wish I could take it all back
Wish I could take it all back
Wish I could take it all back, Wish

Porcelain leaking from my arms, I wish that I could just speak up, but I feel no remorse in the slightest
Breaking my limbs over and over again, I can't wait till you can just finally be fucking quiet
(Fuck this face) I give up, I give up 
Not doing this anymore
(Fuck this place) Blue makeup, blue makeup
Cry while I lay on the floor

Felt Something Else

Guitar by Artisama

My best moments in the yard
What do I have to keep on keeping on? 
I can see it through the glass
What do I have to keep on keeping on?

My conifer, aching naturally (Keeping on)
I take my turn, just speak to me

Speak to me (Ruin my night)
Speak to me, speak to me (Make my whole life)
I weep when you need me (Life could be fine)
Life hurts when you hate everything

Sitting in the yard
My finger brushes yours
My world 
Shrinks, I'm shrinking
Freezing off the limb 
That grew my emotion
I'm taking steps, fulfill my devotion
As I watch you, afar

Safe

When I'm in ***, I wanna rip my skin in little pieces
Shards are new to me when I feel as if sins lay beneath my fleeces
The charcuterie laid up on the counter for the nieces
I've been worried sick, lookin' at my screen, because she is
Anew
She is 
Anew

When I'm in ***, I wanna rip my skin in little pieces
Shards are new to me when I feel as if sins lay beneath my fleeces
The charcuterie laid up on the counter for the nieces
I've been worried sick, lookin' at my screen, 'cause she is
Cause
She is

Wanting someone new to loving, understanding few to nothing
Emotional blank slate, emotional blank slate
(In time we can figure everything out)
Wanting someone new to loving, understanding few to nothing
Emotional blank slate, emotional blank slate

Circle life, square time

Blank Slate

cover of the cabs, drums & vocals by me, guitar by artisama, bass by cloud @worstmistakeyet on ig

綺麗な服に火をつけて燃やしてみたい、
その答えが間違いでも同じようにまた。
生まれ変わったらもう僕は救われたくはないな。
神は死に君は錠剤を砕く。
どうしたら優しくなれたと思う？

achorda

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks