The Autistic Rambler

So what does a rambler do? Well it can drive you from A to B. It can keep you cool in the hot sun. Or it can chat about all kinds of things under the sun which is what this Rambler does. I'm so tickled to introduce you to Maddy Dever who is one of the kindest, sweetest, perceptive, strong, intelligent and best advocate for others I've ever met. In episode one of the Autistic Rambler, we touch on experiential empathy, intersectionality of the ASD and LGBTQ++ communities, what schools could do better and a whole lot more. It's time to ramble on ;)

#208: Autistic Rambler Ep 1 - Meet the Ramblers

What could prompt you to get outside? Is the benefit of getting outside enough to prompt some movement or is there something creating a barrier? Today we chat about the benefits of looking after your mental health and your physical health and hopefully at the same time ;)

#209: Autistic Rambler Ep 2 - Chase That Pokemon

As the Queen of Soul once sang: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.

We're back with the indomitable Maddy Dever and a chat about the intersectionality between the autism community and the LGBTQ+ community. Maddy, who is non binary, uses the pronouns they / them. This was not an easy choice but one they felt they needed to live as authentically as themselves as possible. Do I do great with the pronouns? Nope! But I respect Maddy's choice and I make every effort to remember how important it is.

That's honestly all that's needed when society needs to shift its perspective: effort. And respect. That Aretha - she was on to something ;)

#210: Autistic Rambler Ep 3 - Intersectionality Of ASD and LGBT

We don't want to should on you but being an ally is part of being a good human. It doesn't have to be a huge action to count. It can be standing up for someone in a meeting. It can be acting through altruism vs ego. It can be shining a light on tokenism. Or any other ism. Being an ally isn't about you - it's about what you can do to make a difference. And if you choose to wear a cape? Well, you know what Edna says about capes ;)

#211: Autistic Rambler Ep 4 - Allyship and Maybe Capes

Did Gene Roddenberry have any idea that when he created Star Trek in 1966 that he'd be influencing technology development, societal relationships, exploration and so much more for generations to come? He definitely boldly went where no one had gone before and has been inspiring people around the world ever since. Today, Maddy and I discuss the creative autistic and how, as the Vulcans say, there is infinite diversity with infinite combinations for how we can be creative, share it with the world and be bold in our own way.

#212: Autistic Rambler Ep 5 - Channeling Gene Roddenberry

Have you ever had to work with a school to develop an IEP for your child? Was your child ever given an opportunity to be a part of the discussion? Mine wasn't and it didn't even occur to me to ask him because the school never said it was an option. But who better to influence how an IEP is developed that the person it's most affecting?? Join us as we discuss how the IEP process can help autistic individuals who need one to also develop leadership skills, advocacy skills and know their place at the table is valued and important.

#213: Autistic Rambler Ep 6 - IEP and Leadership Skills

I am a proud Monarchist. I come from a long line of Monarchists. It's not for everybody and I respect that. What caught me unawares was the level of grief I'd feel at the death of Her Majesty. Of course Maddy and I went off on a bit of a tangent instead of our scheduled topic but we both see value in embracing the moment vs strictly adhering to a topic. So here's our chat on grief, the process, embracing your process and getting through the tough times.

#214: Autistic Rambler Ep 7 - Long live the Queen and How Grief Impacts Us

We all have things we need to work on. For some it's talking to loud or too much (that's a me thing, hence the podcast) for others it's refusing to bathe and for some it's about whether they can rock a tiara. It's all about how we show up in the world and how we communicate our needs around that. Sometimes it's not about not wanting to take a shower - it's that the soap stings our skin. Sometimes it's not about thinking we're better than other people - it's that today we felt like rocking a sparkly tiara. Whatever the situation, it can usually be solved by getting curious, not furious (to quote Stephen Covey).

#216: Autistic Rambler Ep 8 - Tiaras, Soap and Sensory issues

Have you ever been sick and then spent weeks catching up from that??? Shortly after we recorded this AMAZING episode, Elizabeth got COVID. She got it goooood. And she's been catching up ever since. So while this Holiday glitterati inspired podcast is late, it can be applied to birthday parties, summer gatherings, graduations and more. Because a party isn't a party until Uncle Jerrycan gets loud and someone has a meltdown ;)

#217: Autistic Rambler Ep 9 - Pink Glittery Trees and Letting Go of Holiday Perfection

The word should is one that really grates my cheese. And not in a delicious mac and cheese way but in a ticks me off way. Should implies that what you're doing is wrong and the person who's saying it? Their way is better. Should creates limits when it becomes shouldn't. As the parent of an autistic individual I have banished should and my lovely co-host Maddy has done the same thing for their kids. Find out why should's are shitty and should be banished for good!

#218: Autistic Rambler Ep 10 - Shut the Should-ers

Do you get sick and tired of people treating your autistic kid or your autistic self as someone who's incapable of doing just about anything? It really grates my cheese when people make assumptions about my son's capabilities and Maddy's cheese is equally grated for themselves and their kids. Sometimes it's just about capacity and understanding the expansiveness of it and the reasonable constraints. And the new profile photos? I got to give Maddy a huge hug at the recent Autism Leadership Summit and we both agree that Drag Queens are the bomb. Since we forgot to get a picture taken together, I'm mixing it up ;)

#219: Autistic Rambler Ep 11 - Capacity To Create Opportunity Out of Chaos

Adulting was hard on the day we recorded this podcast. HARD I tell you. But as usually Betty pulled up their socks and dragged me along for an insightful, vulnerable and honest to goodness learning session on setbacks. They do have value as long as you try to learn from them and don't let them keep you mired in the muck for too long. A little pity party? We all have them. Moving in to Pitytown? Well that's just no good for anybody ;)

#220: Autistic Rambler Ep 12 - Getting Through Setbacks

Socrates, Suzy's, Robert's and more. We get in to the necessity of having variety on a team and particularly so when dealing with the neurodivergent community. If you're a service provider and you've hired yourself a team of Suzy's, that all meet the same hiring criteria and wouldn't know the Socratic method of teaching if the philosopher himself walked up to you and used it, you need to listen to this podcast. Your clients would LOVE you to listen to this podcast. Trust us ;)

#221: Autistic Rambler Ep 13 - Suzy's, Sherlocks And Moving Forward

One thing I've always struggled with is putting value on lived experience. Not that it doesn't have value but how do you get paid for it? How do you get others to recognize it? If you think I've struggled, I've got nothing on the autism community. Tokenism is not paying someone a fair value in exchange for sharing lived experience. If it's valuable enough to ask for, it's valuable enough to pay for ;)

#222: Autistic Rambler Ep 14 - Values, Checklists And Moving Forward

What do we ramble on about on this episode? When I listened back while editing, I had to message Maddy because we covered SOOOO much that all tied back to communication and personal space. We touch on how trauma influences how we engage in certain situations. How our lenses on life can contribute or get in the way of belonging. How personal space, a valuable pandemic lesson, needs to be remembered. And how if you're at a conference and you stop suddenly to check your farking phone that SOME people might view that as an opportunity to go Free Guy on your butt ;) Just sayin'.

#223: Autistic Rambler Ep 15: Do NOT Boldly Go In To My Space

Once again, Betty and I get in to a non-podcast podcast where Betty starts talking smarticles and all I did was ask a damn question. Jeepers.

We talk about the anticipatory energy brought to a conversation which can either go smoothly or become a conflict depending on how we show up. Then we leap to change: who should start? More importantly, why should someone else change when you aren't willing to budge your arse a bit?

I'll let Betty explain the smart stuff ;) I just come along for comic relief.

#224: Autistic Rambler Ep 16: Habits, Change, Conflict and Communication

Sometimes navigating the world of autism can be a dark and lonely place for many people. Those diagnosed and those along for the ride to support the individual. The ever lovin' Maddy came up with the PERFECT analogy to describe what that wild ride can be like. Today's a shorty podcast but we expand on it next session. Don't miss it!

#225: Autistic Rambler Ep 17: Shine The Light

I had a GREAT description written and then Soundcloud messed it up! Now my expertise is in writing and crafting messaging but that doesn't mean I want to rewrite this one ;)

Today we're talking about the value of lived experience and owning the title of expert if it fits you. It's a bit of a journey to get there but the other value is that if you can find a way to share your voice and expertise, then you make change happen. People who have no lived experience in some areas should NOT be in charge of creating policy, programs or other opportunities without folks with lived experience being involved. And much like how you can't pay an architect for their experience using gift cards, lived experience experts should also get paid.

If you valued someone enough to ask for their opinion / expertise, then it's valuable enough to pay for ;)

#226: Autistic Rambler Ep 18: Expertise Comes In Many Valuable Forms

The C word. I'm sure some of you thought cancer. Some thought something I can't type here without getting censored. And some just wondered, what the heck does this mean??? Without context, it's hard to understand ;)

#227: Autistic Rambler Ep 19:  We're Talking About The C Word

Have you ever tried something brand spanky new? Something different than anyone else in your network? Something that causes you to feel uncomfortable? Good! The feelings that come along with that are a human response to doing something brave. Unless you are lying your face off, you are not an imposter. You are just kicking ass and taking names ;)

#228: Autistic Rambler Ep 20: We're Talking About Big Feelings And F Bombs

We're here to chat about business, books, autism and a different way of doing things. Meet the agencies and organizations who are dedicated to improving the lives of autistic individuals and the autistic individuals helping them get it done. Did I mention we own a technology start up who's kicking the old way of coaching to the curb?

The Autistic Rambler

Across the Desk