Gold Country Vol1

Letters from the River

What happens when Chick and Wilbur take summer jobs at Camp Crystal Lake?
A troubadour folk tale meets slasher sequel logic.
Armed with an acoustic guitar, dobro, and bad judgment, our boys try to survive a cursed camp, a masked maniac, and several questionable sequels — all while keeping their spirits high and their marshmallows toasted.

This Halloween song blends humor, horror, and old-school storytelling — part Abbott and Costello, part Friday the 13th, and a little folk music around the campfire.

LYRICS
(C)2025 Ggreg Snyder

[Verse 1]
Well Chick said, “Wilbur, I’ve got us a job,”
“Camp Crystal Lake, we’ll be part of the mob.
They need a few hands to tidy the shore,
We’ll make a few bucks, maybe something more.”
Wilbur packed sandwiches, Chick packed cigars,
They rode up the road in a secondhand car.
“Fresh start, fresh air, what could go wrong?”
Then Wilbur heard thunder and tried to be strong.

[Chorus]
Oh, it’s sunshine, friendship, and s’mores by the fire,
We’ll sing ‘Kumbaya’ till the ghosts all retire.
A beautiful lake, and the boss seems great,
We’re spending our summer at Camp Crystal Lake!

[Verse 2]
Old Steve Christy said, “Boys, just beware,
Some say this camp’s cursed—there’s death in the air.”
Wilbur said “C-C-C-C-urse?” while Chick rolled his eyes,
“Superstition,” he said, “that’s the campers’ disguise.”
But that night two counselors were found in a mess,
The last one alive said, “A hockey mask, I guess.”
Chick said, “So what? He’s a sportsman, see?
Probably just works out his anger on me.”

[Chorus]
Oh, it’s sunshine, friendship, and s’mores by the fire,
We’ll sing ‘Kumbaya’ till the ghosts all retire.
A beautiful lake, and the boss seems great,
We’re spending our summer at Camp Crystal Lake!

[Bridge]
Then the sheriff came knockin’ with a warrant in hand,
Found a hockey mask under Wilbur’s nightstand.
He said, “I don’t even skate! My ankles would break!”
But Chick said, “Quit it with your belly-ache!”
So he ran through the woods, through New York, through space,
Met Freddy Krueger face-to-face.
“Hiya, Wilbur,” Freddy grinned wide,
And Jason just stood there, dead-eyed.

[Verse 3]
Back at the camp, the rumor spread fast,
“It was Jason’s mom!” though nobody asked.
Wilbur sighed, “That’s a lot of family stress…”
Chick said, “It was the ambulance driver, that's my guess”
Then bubbles rose up and a mask peeked through—
Wilbur yelled, “Chick, he’s lookin’ at you!”
But Chick just shrugged, said, “Relax, my friend,
They always come back for the sequel end.”

[Chorus – Big Finale]
Oh, it’s sunshine, friendship, and s’mores by the fire,
We’ll sing ‘Kumbaya’ till the ghosts all retire.
A beautiful lake, and the boss seems great,
We’re spending forever at Camp Crystal Lake!

[Outro – Spoken, with campfire crackle]
"Be sure and join us for the sequel, where our boys meet Hannibal Lechter."

DISCLAIMER:
This work is a parody and no actual comedians were harmed at Camp Crystal Lake.

Abbott And Costello Meet Jason

Lyrics: Kylene
I
t only took a minute for you to say that it was over 
and put an end to love that lasted all these years 
and It only took an hour for you to pack your bags to leave 
Now can you say how long it takes to dry my tears 
can you say how long it takes to dry my tears

It only took a minute for me to get those final papers  
and make me realize that we would be apart 
It only took a day to fly to Vegas with your lover 
Now can you say how long it takes to mend my heart? 
Now can you say how long it takes to mend my heart?

It only took a moment for me for you to pack your your bags and leave 
and let me know I’d lost the best years of my life 
Now, there’s nothing left to dream of and I’ll not look for a new love 
Can you say how long it takes my love to die? 
Now can you say how long it takes my love to die?
 Can you say how long it takes my love to die?

Sunshine State of Mind

Adam Hambrick

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