RITE OF PASSAGE...
into the light

[download - https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ASYEf1ijVqEVl94pwe2KorkXE7uO2yOD]

As Saturn returns to where it was in space when we are born [about 27–30 years], it comes with merciless intent to purge us of the self we are not and into the self we are meant to become…

It returns to break down everything we tightly held onto that unknowingly stirred us away from our truth — who we thought we were, who we thought we wanted to be, where we thought we were going, who we thought we’d be there with, what we thought love was, what we thought truth was, what we thought the world was…

It returns to patiently break through the grounds on which we barely stood in fear, doubt, shame, guilt, pain…

It returns to shift then realign us, clearing debris from broken grounds... giving us room to rebuild ourselves piece by piece  from a deeply honest and centred place, a solid foundation able to withstand the force of magnitude contained within us…

It returns as a Rite of Passage, purging us through the pains of letting go then ushering us through the thorns of transformation into who we need to become...

It returns to baptize us through tears, sweat, blood and water to a new birth into Light…

Happy Solstice! 
Love,
Ada.

[21.12.18]

Rite of Passage...[unmastered]

Love. / Light.

A song to Love/Light itself...

When I cried 
you held me, held me,
When I called 
you heard me, heard me,
When I strayed you 
found me, found me,
When I drowned in pain 
you saved me...

Saved me...
Saved me...
Saved me...
Saved me...
You saved me

When I lost my sight 
you showed me,
When I broke my heart 
you healed me,
When I felt the fear 
you calmed me,
When I could not feel 
you loved me...

Saved me...
Saved me...
Saved me...
Saved me...
You saved me

Rite of Passage [unmastered]

Love. / Light.

For Her. 

Her eyes were like the Sun...
Her soul felt like the Moon...
Her smile felt like the ocean...
Her skin shone bright like diamonds...
Her heart beat last like thunder...
On grounds they thought were holy...
She shivered and quivered and withered...
And drowned in salt and water...

Her light was lost to darkness...
Her dreams will stay as dreams... 
Her body couldn’t ache any longer... 
Her life was short but still... 
Her eyes still shine in the Sun... 
Her smile will stay with me... 
Her love was deep and honest...
Her light still glows through me...

Our world did not deserve her...
It broke her and killed her and took her...
These prophets, these leaders, deceivers...
They lie and they steal and they rob us...
A child was lost to this madness...
A child was lost to greed...
Killed by the hands of religion... 
Murdered by her own damn people...

For Her.

Let You Go. 

trying to let you go...
it’s hard to let you go...
don’t want to let you go...

you keep on running...
running and running from me 
why are you running?

won’t say you love me...
but I can tell that you do
so you keep running

should I just wait here...
wait here and drown in my tears
till you quit running

can't you just stay here...
stay here and face all your fears
then you'll quit running

trying to let you go...
it’s hard to let you go...
don’t want to let you go...

won't let me love you...
love you the way that you need
cause you stay running 

won't even face me...
face me and tell me you're scared 
you just keep running 

tired of waiting...
waiting till you see the light 
see that I'm right here...

mind keeps on running
running...running...running...running...
so it keeps hurting...

trying to let you go...
it’s hard to let you go...
don’t want to let you go...

trying to let you go...
trying, trying, trying to let you go 
trying to let you go...

Let You Go.

What I Meant To Say…

what I meant to say was that I…
what I meant to say was that I…

what I meant to say was that I
still think about you...

what I meant to say was that I
still see the Sun beaming through your eyes

what I meant to say was that I
still pray for you...

what I meant to say was that I
still feel the Moon moving through you...

what I meant to say was that I
didn’t mean to suffocate you...

what I meant to say was that I'm
truly sorry if I hurt you...

what I meant to say was that I'm
learning, growing just like you...

what I meant to say was that I
couldn’t have come this far without you...


What I meant to say was that I…
What I meant to say was that I…


what I meant to say was that I
want to heal this world with you...

what I meant to say was that I
want to walk these waters with you...

what I meant to say was that I
want to soar these skies with you...

what I meant to say was that I
want to move these mountains with you... 

what I meant to say was that I
want to grow old with you...you...

what I meant to say was that I
want to share my soul with you...you...

what I meant to say was that I
will never know another like you...you...

what I meant to say was that I
will never love another like you...you...

What I meant to say was that I…
What I meant to say was that I…

What I Meant To Say...

Doubts.

like a whisper taunting me...
like a burden weighing on me...
like a chain paralyzing me...
like an anchor drowning me...

am I really who I think I am...
do I really know who I am...
do I even know why I’m here...
do I really know where I’m going...
am I sure about this path I’ve taken...
can I really walk this path alone...
do I even have the faith in me...
are my dreams even possible...

can I really even trust myself...
do I even believe in me...
does my soul even have a voice...
does my heart really know its needs...
do my feelings speak through my choice...
do my thoughts speak through my words...
can I really overcome my fears...
will my tears really ever end...

llike a whisper taunting me...
like a burden weighing on me...
like a chain paralyzing me...
like an anchor drowning me...

is there really love inside of me...
is there light deep inside of me...
is the Sun really even conscious...
is the Moon really even there...
does the Sun really speak through me...
does the Moon really feel through me...
are the Planets really even there...
are the Stars really even here...

are you really who I thought you were...
do I even know who you are...
did I ever really feel your soul...
did I ever really see through you...
was this thing between us even real...
was it even what I thought it was...
was it all in my imagination...
were you ever really even here...

like a whisper taunting me...
like a burden weighing on me...
like a chain paralyzing me...
like an anchor drowning me...

[unsung]

can I really love myself...
is love even worth the sacrifice...
can love really heal this world...
am I even worthy of this love...

Doubts.

Dissonance.

want to...
but I don’t
I feel it...
then I don’t 
I say it...
but I can’t
I think it...
but I’m not

there’s my voice
then there’s the noise...
there’s my soul
then there’s my ego...
there’s my heart and
then there’s the world...
there’s my feelings
then there’s my choice...

want to...
but I don’t
I feel it...
then I don’t
I say it...
but I can’t
I think it...
but I’m not

what am I saying?
what am I doing?
what am I feeling?
what am I thinking?
what am I choosing?
who am I being?

want to...
but I don’t
I feel it...
then I don’t
I say it...
but I can’t
I think it...
but I’m not

Dissonance.

Strange Fruit [continued]

there’s blood on
there’s blood on these leaves...
there’s blood on 
there’s blood on their sleeves…
there’s blood in
there’s blood in the streets…
there’s blood in 
there’s blood in the water…

searching for your soul you’re lost and 
now you’re bitter...
hunting down these streets to 
find a nigger…
do I really stir your hatred 
there’s so much anger…
looked right into my eyes and 
you pulled the trigger…
did I even fit your loose, 
your loose, descriptions…
or did I fit into your own
your damn perceptions..
pull the trigger into your
your own redemption…
pull the trigger into my
my resurrection…
pull the trigger into our 
illumination…
pull the trigger into our 
illumination…

will you ever see I’m human
flesh and bone…
whipping, ripping through my thick skin
into my soul…
can you even see I’m bleeding
through my wounds…
can you even feel me aching
through my pain…
do you even hear me screaming 
through my chains…
do you even hear me suffocating, 
crying out…
do you see the lives you’ve taken,
resurrecting…
do you hear them coming, calling 
for your soul…
do you hear us running, breaking 
through your walls…
do you see the light,
we’re coming full of love…
do you see the light,
we’re glowing like the Moon..
do you feel the light, 
we’re beaming like the Sun…

never met me but you hate me…
never met me but you fear me…
never even tried to know me…
never even tried to see me…

there’s blood on
there’s blood on these leaves...
there’s blood on 
there’s blood on their sleeves…
there’s blood in
there’s blood in the streets…
there’s blood in 
there’s blood in the water…

Strange Fruit...[continued]

Seeking...

you'll find it...
can you see it?
look where you're not looking...
can you feel it?

I'm stuck out here...
trying to find a hole 
that's hidden in these walls out here...
trying to find the strength 
to break through my chains out here...
trying to find the key 
that frees me from my cage out here...
cause I'm stuck out here...

I'm lost out here...
trying to find a path 
that leads me through the thorns out here...
seeking...reaching...hoping...praying...
for a sign out here 
trying to find the light, the truth 
through the lies out here 
but it's dark out here...

you'll find it...
...you'll find it...
can you see it?
...do you see it...
look where you're not looking...
...right there in front of you...
can you feel it?

it hurts out here...
aching but I'm trying 
to make it through my pain out here...
trying to stay afloat 
but tides are raging wild out here...
these doubts and fears are demons 
trying to drown my faith out here...
and it hurts out here...

it's hard out here...
I feel my soul, my Light 
still I'm flesh and bone out here...
I feel the Sun, the Moon, the Stars,
through my veins out here...
trying to find a way to light up 
through the darkness out here...
but it's hard out here...

you'll find it...
...you'll find it...
can you see it?
...do you see it...
look where you're not looking...
...right there in front of you...
can you feel it?

Seeking...

Masks.
[the face of our world...]

wear your mask…
I’ll put on mine
wear your wigs…
I’ll put on mine
wear your lies…
I’ll put on mine
wear your pride…
I’ll put on mine

mask your shame…
I’ll hide from mine
in these bag, these clothes, these cars, these watches
still I feel this shame…

mask your pain…
I’ll hide from mine
in these drugs, these clubs, this sex, this vodka
Still I feel this pain…

mask your fears…
I’ll hide from mine
in this box, these chains, this cage, these walls, this hell
is burning out my light…

wear your mask…
I’ll put on mine
wear your wigs…
I’ll put on mine
wear your lies…
I’ll put on mine
wear your pride…
I’ll put on mine

mask your truth, 
I’ll hide from mine
in this burden, breaking, slaving, aching
till I loose my soul…

mask your love…
I’ll stay with you…you…you…
in this broken stunted thing we’re doing 
still we feel alone…
...

wear your smile…
I’ll put on mine 
wear your soul…
I’ll show you mine 
wear your truth 
I’ll tell you mine
wear your love…
I’ll give you mine
....

Masks.

Ashes.

set it on fire
burn it all down...
set it on fire
burn it down to the ground...

who I thought that I was...
who I thought I could've, would've, should've been...

who I thought that he was...
who I thought he could've, would've, should've been...

what I thought that we were...
what I thought we could've, would've, should've been...

what I thought that it was...
what I thought it could've, would've, should've been...

set it on fire
burn it all down...
set it on fire
burn it down to the ground...

where you thought your life was heading...
thought it was the right direction, 
might have been the worst direction...

who you thought that you'd be there with...
thought she was the one for you,
might have been the thorn in you...

all that you had worked and broke your back for...
pots of gold...
you sold your soul...

what you thought this fucking world was...
thought that it was all there is 
might just be you're passing through...

set it on fire
burn it all down...
set it on fire
burn it down to the ground...

what you thought that truth was...
thought it's all that you've been told 
maybe...it's right in front of you...

who you thought that God was...
thought they said he was a man
maybe...he's in the light...

what you thought that light was...
thought its just the Sun and Moon
maybe... it's all in you...

who you thought that you were...
thought you were just flesh and bone 
maybe...there's more to you...

set it on fire
burn it all down...
set it on fire
burn it down to the ground... 

fire...
burn it all down...
fire...
burn it down to the ground...

Ashes.

As Saturn returns to where it was in space when we are born [about 27–30 years], it comes with merciless intent to purge us of the self we are not and into the self we are meant to become…

It returns to break down everything we tightly held onto that unknowingly stirred us away from our truth — who we thought we were, who we thought we wanted to be, where we thought we were going, who we thought we’d be there with, what we thought love was, what we thought truth was, what we thought the world was…

It returns to patiently break through the grounds on which we barely stood in fear, doubt, shame, guilt, pain…

It returns to shift then realign us, clearing debris from broken grounds... giving us room to rebuild ourselves piece by piece  from a deeply honest and centred place, a solid foundation able to withstand the force of magnitude contained within us…

It returns as a Rite of Passage, purging us through the pains of letting go then ushering us through the thorns of transformation into who we need to become...

It returns to baptize us through tears, sweat, blood and water to a new birth into Light…

Happy Solstice! 
Love,
Ada.

[21.12.18]

Saturn Returns.

[ Download Album ]
Rite of Passage Into The Light [unmastered]
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ASYEf1ijVqEVl94pwe2KorkXE7uO2yOD?usp=sharin

Rite of Passage...[unmastered]

Ada Sol