Hmm... It's definitely not what I expected! Interesting sound.

Smoke Out

FATALITY

againagain

Phonkha, marudxshi - APPEAL (sped up)



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WARCRIMES

AIRWRAITH (Super Slowed)

arise

[Verse 1]
The years alone taught me hunger with no mouth
Silence that roared, louder than a crowd
Loneliness an art form, sharpened, slow
A knife you over-polish, just to watch the bright glow
I lost my mind on purpose, found it by mistake
My mind took more than madness could ever take
Insane felt gentle, like static in the brain
But the crazy stuck sharp like a needle in the vein
Bright moments jagged, they tore more than pain
Truth flashed sudden, like a shot through the frame
It’s twisted, the unbearable part wasn’t the breaking
It was waking in a reality that felt like it was faking
Mistakin' survival for freedom, a thin disguise
Mistakin' the mirror for a window to the sky
Madness was a mask I could almost call home
But sense stripped me, left these bars carved in stone
I carved calendars on walls without looking back
Time folded inward, a collapse on a loop track
My eyes slammed shut, a curtain I could close
This shit exposed me, stripped me to the bone

[Chorus]
Intervals of sanity they cut like steel
Madness was a mercy, and the pain was never real
Every moment lucid is a wound I can't feel
I'd trade the truth for lunacy if the scars would only heal

[Verse 2]
Every thought ricocheted, echo chamber raw
Truth’s teeth sharper than the lies that I saw
I played chess with shadows, they never lost
Checkmate came cheap, but the clarity cost
Lonely like a sermon with no congregation
Sight burned hotter than a hallucination
Insane was a blanket, threadbare but mine
Sanity was the winter sendin chills down my spine
I mistook the silence for a sign of peace
But then my ears rang louder every time it ceased
Freedom was a fiction, survival was a loan
Edges made of broken glass and carved into this stone

[Pre-Chorus]
I wake up in a cell that nobody can see
Bars made out of dawn, walls built out of me
I thought I was escaping, but the mirror don't lie
Freedom’s just a story with a lock in disguise

[Chorus]
Intervals of sanity they cut like steel
Madness was a mercy and the pain was never real
Every moment lucid is a wound I can't feel
I’d trade the truth for lunacy if the scars would only heal

[Verse 3]
My silence was a riot, a crowd in my head
Voices like prophets, but the gospel was dead
I stitched my reality with threads that frayed
Every pattern unraveled, the more I prayed
Truth hit jagged, a fracture in the glass
Reflection was a stranger staring back when I passed
The craze gave rhythm, a beat I could ride
My mind was all static, all feedback and wide
Mistaking the hunger for a kind of release
But the feast was hollow, no rest, no peace
I wrote maps on the ceilings, roads with no end
Each line a reminder so I can’t pretend

[Bridge]
Is it mercy or a sentence when the mind comes clear?
Is it better to be broken if the pain disappears?
I don’t know what’s worse, the silence or the scream,
The cage that I wake to, or the cage in the dream.

[Chorus]
Intervals of sanity they cut like steel
Madness was a mercy and the pain was never real
Every moment lucid is a wound I can't feel
I’d trade the truth for lunacy if the scars would only heal

Intervals of Insanity (rework)

"The Chilled Dreams Edition" is a collection of my favorite tracks, each reimagined with a chill, dreamy twist. I wanted to create something that felt both relaxing and emotionally deep, a journey through calming beats and ambient soundscapes. This album is a mix of my love for glitchy textures, smooth rhythms, and the peaceful flow of downtempo electronica. Perfect for drifting off into your own thoughts or just letting the music take you somewhere else.

linktr.ee/heartforge

"Before I Ruin You (Chilled Edition)

John Summit - crystallized (feat. Inez) (AUTIVE FLIP)

I'm just feeling so down today

 I still don't feel the same

Did I ever feel real

Have I always been this way 

I don't know but I feel like 

I'm not ok 

I feel so dead inside

Dead in My eyes

A fire deep inside

Floating

Disconnecting 

Goldfish floating I never feel like I'm sleeping

hypersexual

 but disconnected depressive drinking 

numb horny and suicidal thinking

Fem boy 

Goth 

Trans girl 

cat girl

Suicidal yeah call me whatever

 I don't give a fuck I'll say it

 I'm not ashamed to be myself 

With a devilish smile I don't fake shit

but If I start to panic and speaking frantic 

please don't leave me like everyone else I promise I  

I won't try to run away I'll let you do anything to me

if you just tell me your won't walk away

 I'll be anything you want me to be today 

I want to feel something someone anything

 please just touch me kiss me love me fuck me hurt me take me forever trap me in your personal made heaven 

I didn't want to say 

I can't love me

I'm not use to not being abused

I didn't want to say anything that something's wrong

I just want to wake up and smile but 

I woke up set on  fire 

in a world with no water

 or sound effects active 

 last night I tried to slitting my wrists again 

I tried overdosing with my horror goddess whore horse 

just another failed attempt   

Another lie to myself

 running through my brain looping on self defense

repeating to myself to the pain of stabbing eruptive mental agony living in a borderline insanity 

 I'm a piece of fucking shit

I never meant shit fuck world get high fuck live

My brains the enemy borderline sanity splitting loving and hating with knives of fire loving with bloody hearts wrapped around my dead blood warmed stained wrists clotting all the hope and exceptions I know you'll destroy before you even know I hold them out for you like a new toy 

 If I'd just die I'd be ok but I can't even see the blurry image of myself naked in the mirror 

I don't have a problem at all

I'm ripping out my hair again

I want to rip off my skin

I'm so fat I never want to eat anything

The thoughts make me gag up vomit when there's nothing in my stomach

As the world around me becomes like brittle black buttons 

 I dread the feeling cracked smile 

A expressionless face a silent tear screams and falls a numb sculpture I am displayed  

 rotten like shattered candy on the blood stained empty room floors 

The dead Space

Fuck me all night through the morning drenched in saliva and love 

As the Rabbits finds new holes to fall down 

Do we run?

I've fallen down

Do you still love me

Could I ever love me 

I want to die tonight but your body keeps me up all night

Up all night through the morning screaming and moaning 

Smiling for a bleeding eternity 

But I'm

Down again

I hate my body

Looking at my Razors again 

I shy away

Nothings going right night

It seems like nothing I try is working for me

Nothing I try to do  in this  

blah blah blah world

I don't give a fuck anymore   

Just leave me alone 

I'm just to numb to feel you

And not Dumb enough to believe you 

Your viewed in Black and white

What were you really going to do did you really think you would or could change anything 

Would you in a world full of angels and snakes

With all those I hopes the dreams you procured better not

Light a hot rail up my nose fuck the night away

What's any of this matter anymore 

Were all going to die 

So lets just die like we fuck

And spread our secrets all across your walls 

As I take all of you as I take no care for myself 

I want to burn with you forever in a quantum immortality

Seductive final activity hypersexuality  

Wake up

Want to die

I'm starving to death 

I could give a fuck less

But I can't eat anything tonight 

All I want to do is die but what I really want is just to live my life 

So fuck me like it's my last night alive 




Last Night Alive 5

exploring suppressed feelings, thoughts and emotions of my shadow self 🌙

againagain

aen

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