lyrics:

we sat by the staircase of our old school in the west
it didn’t matter that people said it was haunted
we knew we sounded our best
sat right there, no ventilation at all
just you and me, the highest ceiling and the walls
wish we had more time

i didn’t know it then, but i was lonely
i didn’t know it, but those late night suppers saved me
watching the sun set every evening
from the music room’s floor to ceiling window
i wouldn’t go home
even if i was alone

in hindsight, i didn’t get along with many
we just knew how to keep in harmony
i sang til i had nothing left in me

i kept one close to my heart
and i’ve just learned, he felt the same
but he didn’t play the part of the perfect little movie i wrote in my head
oh, to be 17 again

i didn’t know it then, but i was lonely
i didn’t know it, but those late night suppers saved me
watching the sun set every evening
from the music room’s floor to ceiling window
i wouldn’t go home

when i was alone
god forbid anyone know
i was just waiting for someone to come
pick me up, call me their own
i looked to be loved wherever i’d go
when you’re 17, you think that you know

i didn’t know it then, but i was lonely
i didn’t know it, but those late night suppers saved me
watching the sun set every evening
from the music room’s floor to ceiling window
i wouldn’t go home

acoustic club (voice memo)

i found some closure after a year in hell
over an cup of instant latte in some boutique hotel
somewhere in barcelona in my new favourite sweater
i thrifted the day before, from a local chain store

i swear the person running the place has a sense of humour
starting the day with bon iver over the speakers
if i’m not crying over flume,
i’m crying over how the hell hotels make their omelets this good

but i think it’s been a month since the crying stopped
somewhere between moving out and getting ready for takeoff

you once told me i’d give a speech at your wedding
i laughed, said they’d be vows, and that i was kidding
i think we both knew i wasn’t, but i would go on pretending for years

i don’t think i realised what was happening
flirting, taking it a little too serious
so when you disappeared, i sincerely went insane
but i don’t think either of us really deserved the blame

i don’t know when i got a soft spot for you again
the fog started clearing, 19 a distant memory and i started making sense

i found some closure after a year in hell
over an cup of instant latte in some boutique hotel
somewhere in barcelona in my new favourite sweater
man, i really didn’t think that it would get better

barcelona (demo)

synapses (voice memo)

i learned from the birds
who taught me to sing
now it’s awfully quiet
and i’ve drained out the ringing

another one down
i’ve inhaled the ashes
walked the length of this town
grieved with the masses

call someone, anyone
oh will you call someone? anyone?

if i close my eyes
and imagine my room
it might just take me back
to all that i knew

you say you can’t help
i wish i believed you
i want to be held

call someone, anyone
oh will you call someone? anyone?


anyone anyone anyone

where are the birds
who taught me to sing

sunbird (voice memo)

you’re on kitchen duty
i’m tending to our little things
start at different ends then
meet in the middle for a kiss

i help you move the couch
when inspiration strikes
and by 10am, an afternoon nap
intertwined on the left side

i didn’t think you were real
that i could want what i want now
i’d close my eyes, and it’d be me myself and i
in a big old house

in your sleep, you pull me near
though i keep on shifting
and when we wake you say
your subconscious must’ve missed me

i used to fear i’d never be missed
or loved. i’d never be needed
but here you are
in total surrender

i didn’t know you were real
that i could want what i want now
i’d close my eyes, and it’d be me myself and i
in a big old house

i didn’t know you were real
that i could want what i want now
i close my eyes, and it’s knuckles, limbs
intertwined on a comfy couch


serendipitous, call it fate
call it luck or stars or my state of mind
i’ve loved, i know, but this
this life with you

i started building a time ago
learning to shed, and wanting to know
needing to live, and stopping to breathe
but what you’ve brought out of me

oh i was sobbing that first week in
my body knew something i didn’t
now this is my pride, my magnum opus
love of my life, i owe the earth my forgiveness

the left side (voice memo)

scavenge through the fridge late at night
this is where things go to die
what was i looking for?

if i reach in deep enough
my mold stained fingers will dig up what was
i was made of something someone forgot

i lead every turn with the palm of my hand
the walk to my room is pitch black
i am calmest when
i blink and i can’t tell the difference

i had this friend
i don’t know what happened to us
but they’d rub their expensive chest
and shut their eyes when they needed

i think of you
where you’d go to
when it all goes dark
do you walk through your old house like i do?

in recurring dreams
i’m jumping on all of the cracks
i free myself of every non binding pact
it’s almost as if
i could do whatever the fuck
clip off the twigs
that are begging to be clipped off

mold (voice memo)

you’re on top of me
your hair’s in my mouth
scrambling sorries
what the hell are you talking about?

you’re getting wide eyed
dear fresh river tongue
you say you would never lie
you just don’t know what you want

keep me on my toes
you remind me of someone i used to know

leave the bin by my bed
what really just happened?
i downed your sorry excuse for connection
again and again and again and again
never again

you’re holding your breath
what’s happening here?
to trace your finger down my back
then fucking disappear

rotten river tongue
do you like who you’ve become?

leave the bin by my bed
what really just happened?
i downed your sorry excuse for connection
again and again and again and again

she’s dead to me
soon you will be
she’s dead to me
soon you will be
she’s dead to me
soon you will be dead to me

i’d keep that night
in a jar if i could
so i’d remember a version of me
untouched by what you’d do

soon you will be (voice memo)

26, songer singwriter. i’m around | aeriqah.c@gmail.com

stream my EP "house parties" x

aeriqah

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