You see here, kid?
You just gotta go for it.
Don’t think about what comes after,
or what came before.

Just bend your knees,
take a deep breath, and jump.

And you might think,
‘What if I fall?’
Who knows?
What if you don’t? What if you fly?

성북천, 그리고 하늘공원. 사랑과 꿈의 정원.

Dear, Todd.

I Don’t Wanna Go Back.

Ah, Samsara, Damn.
Ah, Samsara.

Sometimes you gotta close a door,
To open a window.

From. Saint Louis, Bangkok.
And, ‘New Music Wand’ by Tyler Okonma.

St. Louis

Ah, Samsara.

Special Thanks To.
Mac Miller
Tyler, The Creator
St. Louis
Budda

After all, I’ll go back there.
With, Samsara.

St. Louis (Reprise)

BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE
BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE
BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE
BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE

IT'S IT'S IT'S IT'S
IT'S IT'S IT'S IT'S
IT'S IT'S IT'S IT'S
IT'S IT'S IT'S IT'S

IT'S A BLUE WORLD
WITHOUT YOU
IT'S A BLUE WORLD
ALONE

IT'S A IT'S A IT'S A 
IT'S A IT'S A IT'S A 

IT'S A BLUE WORLD
WITHOUT YOU
IT'S A BLUE WORLD

OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO 
OH NO OH NO

BLUE

WELCOME! WELCOME!
WELCOME! WELCOME!
WELCOME! WELCOME!
WELCOME! WELCOME!
WELCOME! WELCOME!

NONONONONONO.
WAIT FOR ME TO COME BACK.

Welcome!

YESTERDAYS PANORAMA

You wouldn't know how futile vague talent can be.  
Every piece of music and every video I see and feel makes me happy, yet at the same time, it torments me.  

The Weeknd, Kanye, Tyler, AJR, Parannoul, Kendrick Lamar, and Mac Miller. Beyond admiration and longing, I feel jealousy and self-deprecation toward them. How pathetic it is that I feel inferior while watching their music and visuals. I know well that I am incapable of making music. At the same time, I know I have no talent for video production either. Writing, creating—everything I do only results in something mediocre.  

Even when I was satisfied, seeing others indifferent made me frustrated and dissatisfied. But when I was not satisfied, that frustration and dissatisfaction turned into a sense of being a pathetic loser. Once again, I listen to meaningless music. Music that brings both comfort and pain makes me both happy and sad. At some point, I stopped feeling happiness when listening to my own music. Because of that, I began to feel ashamed and apologetic for all the times I told people I was making music. I started feeling frustrated and disgusted by my brain for only being able to think this way. Lately, I’ve been wishing more and more that, just for one day, my brain could be swapped with Tyler, The Creator’s.  

When I buy LPs and CDs, I feel like I’m possessing a piece of my idols, and that makes me happy. But at some point, even that act started feeling meaningless and futile. Until last year, I thought nihilism was nothing more than a stupid delusion. Honestly, I found people who lived with a nihilistic mindset frustrating and terrifying. But now, I think I understand them to some extent.  

If I had to list my hobbies, they would be making videos, making music, and collecting LPs and CDs. Or watching videos, listening to music, and immersing myself in their worlds. Maybe I’ve done it too much. As I try to construct my own world, I find myself facing immense hardship. Nothing is in order—just inferiority and excuses filling up my days. Even when I try to justify myself with the phrase “Tomorrow will never know” and get through today as calmly as possible, when that tomorrow comes, it just repeats the same cycle as yesterday.  

I’ve also realized how important a sense of belonging is.  
Ever since I left school and stayed home, I’ve started to feel both admiration and resentment toward people my age. While I’m sitting here, caught up in these worries and writing these words, they seem to be charting their own courses, sailing forward. Meanwhile, I’m still sinking.  

At some point, I began to see my attitude as contradictory and my life as cowardly. From then on, my idols became figures that I feared and despised, yet at the same time, desperately wanted to become. As the number of those figures grew, I started questioning who I really am in this world of mine. That question still remains unanswered. There has been no progress, no regression—just stillness.  

Eventually, I even began to think that it wasn’t just me but also my surroundings, my country, my environment, and my culture that were holding me back. From the moments I don’t even remember up until yesterday, I’ve looked back on my entire life, wondering what kind of flower might bloom in it. Looking back, I think I planted THE WRONG SEED.

THE WRONG SEED.

THE WRONG SEED

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
DoYou DoYou DoYou DoYou DoYou DoYou DoYou
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
NONONONO
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU HAVE A DESTINATION?
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Long time no see.

I saw you in my dream.
I miss you, but since I can't talk to you,
I'm leaving this music like a letter.
I hope you hear it before you die.
I'm sure you'll understand.

I realized it was you about a month ago.
And I think I fall in love with you.
I hope you don’t think that weird.
I just wanted to say hi.

Long time no see.

Long Time No See

I saw you in my dream last night.
You were walking away, looking at me from afar.
Even though we've never met before,
I was so happy to see you.
​Your path and your face were very bright.
But I couldn’t follow you down that road.

Please come back to me again,
just once more, someday.
I’ll bring a tambourine for you.
Let’s walk together.

——

Sample list
Tambourine Dream - Mac Miller
Perfecto - Mac Miller
Mac Miller In The Park - RWD

Macholy Dream

Audio Eat Love…
Inspired by Cocteau Twins, Mac Miller.

Audelo.

You Will Never Know pt.1

You Will Never Know pt.2

You Will Never Know pt.3

You Will Never Know pt.4

You Will Never Know pt.5

You Will Never Know pt.6

Time Sleep

Reverb. 잔향?

Inspired by 복수불반분.
쏟아진 물은 다시 담을 수 없으니 마땅히 깊이 생각해야 한다.

원곡: Reverse(feat. Li-on, Saya)

————

가사
I always wonder.

How to leave,
How to forget,
How to…
Remember.

Past.
You.
Memory.

I miss you.

Reverb

죽지도 않고 또 왔네.
근데 넌 누구니?

Sample: Radiohead - All I Need
————————
가사(Lyrics)

I am a moth
나는 한 마리 나방
Who just wants to share your light
그저 네 빛을 공유하고 싶은
I'm just an insect
난 그저 벌레
Trying to get out of the night
밤을 탈출하려 애쓰는

You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
I'm in the middle of your picture
난 네 사진 중심에 있어
Lying in the reeds
갈대밭에 누워서

You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
I'm in the middle of your picture
난 네 사진 중심에 있어
Lying in the reeds
갈대밭에 누워서

I'm the next act
나는 다음 공연자
Waiting in the wings
무대 끝에서 기다리고 있네
I'm an animal
나는 한 마리 동물이야
Trapped in your hot car
네 뜨거운 차에 갇힌
I am all the days
나는 모든 날들이지
That you choose to ignore
네가 무시하기로 선택한

You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
I'm in the middle of your picture
난 네 사진 중심에 있어
Lying in the reeds
갈대밭에 누워서

You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
You are all I need
난 너밖에 필요 없어
I'm in the middle of your picture
난 네 사진 중심에 있어
Lying in the reeds
갈대밭에 누워서

But Who Are You?

Wish You Were Here, But Also Wish I Was There.

Sample: Self Control by Frank Ocean
————————
가사

I'll be the boyfriend in your wet dreams tonight
오늘 밤, 내가 너 몽정할 때 꿈 속 남자친구가 되어줄게

Noses on a rail, little virgin wears the white
마약에 빠지듯이, 어린 처녀가 흰 옷을 입지

(know you got it)
(know you got it)
(know you got it)
(know you got it)

You cut your hair, but you used to live a blonded life
넌 머리를 잘랐지만, 금발의 삶을 살곤 했어

Wish I was there,
내가 그 곳에 있었더라면,

wish we'd grown up on the same advice
내가 너와 같은 조언을 듣고 자랐더라면,

I, I, I know you gotta leave, leave, leave
난, 난, 난, 네가 떠날 것을 알아, 알아, 알아

I, I, I know you got someone comin
난, 난, 난 누군가 너에게로 향하고 있단 걸 알아

(know you got it)

I, I, I know you gotta leave, leave, leave
난, 난, 난 네가 떠날 것을 알아, 알아, 알아

Take down some summertime
그 모든 여름날들을 내려놓고

I, I, I know you got someone comin
난, 난, 난 누군가 너에게로 향하고 있단 걸 알아

You're spittin' game,
넌 그 사람에게 작업을 걸고,

(know you got it)
(know you got it)
(know you got it)
(know you got it)

Wish I Was There

우린 그저 더 많이 알기를 바라고,
더 아는 척할 뿐입니다.
인생의 마지막이 되어서야,
우리는 아무것도 모른다는 걸 알게 됩니다.
저는 그걸 알고 있는 겁니다.
그래서 저는 무엇을 하던 간에
이 삶의 진실을 기반합니다.

꿈 속에 꿈 속에
꿈 속에 꿈 속에

Sample:
삶에 대한 홍상수의 견해
실리카겔 - 비경

기반(基盤)

Special Thanks To KNHS Studio

가사

그날 만났던
당신은 지금
어디서 무얼
하고 있나요

필름카메라에 담겨진
행복했을때의 우리들
일상속에 녹아들어간
아날로그 센티멘탈리즘

그날 다같이
보았던 영화
당신은 지금
기억하나요

필름카메라에 담겨진
행복했을때의 우리들
일상속에 녹아들어간
아날로그 센티멘탈리즘

필름카메라에 담겨진
행복했을때의 우리들
일상속에 녹아들어간
(어디서 무얼)
아날로그 센티멘탈리즘
(하고 있나요)

원곡: 파란노을 - 아날로그 센티멘탈리즘
샘플링: 우리 친구하자! - 요괴워치 The Animation

아날로그 센티멘탈리즘(Li-On Cover)

무한반동(Endless Echo)

미나토구에서 만나(Minato Night)

물 안에서

샘플링: 검정치마 - 난 아니에요

좋은 술과 저급한 웃음
꺼진 불속 조용한 관음
내가 좋아하는 것들로만 주세요

옛 친구와는 가벼운 이별
다음 주면 까먹을 이별
믿지 않겠지만 별이 되긴 싫어요

난 웃으면서 영업하고 빈말하기 싫은걸요
그대 알잖아요 우린 저들과는 너무 다른 것을
난 배고프고 절박한 그런 예술가 아니에요
내 시대는 아직 나를 위한 준비조차 안된 걸요

국화 향이 물씬 나는 날
해랑사 을신당는 나
처음엔 안 넘어가는 게 아마 맞아요
나는 별이 되고 싶었던 게 아니에요

옛 친구와는 가벼운 이별
다음 주면 까먹을 이별

옛 친구와
옛 친구와
가벼운 이별
가벼운 이별

옛 친구와 가벼운 이별
다음 주면 까먹을 이별

Leelawadee

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