I haven't ever written a Christmas song before, so this was a fun experience type thing! Hope it gets you in the spirit!

LYRICS:

By mid November, the curse had been broke
I had laughed it off just like it was a joke
Got cheap chinese, let my friends carry me
To safety.

Hoodies and jackets and cheer
It’s what I’ve been wanting all of this year
Just a reason to smile, now it’s here for a while
So let’s taste it while we can.

Drive the grapevine, half past nine
Made it through LA, so I’ve still got time
So I’m dressed to impress, it’s my seasonal shine
It’s idealized for sure, but that’s all in my mind.

Going back to this town that I hate
For the people I love
See my friends and family again

Glass of eggnog, a fire’d be great
With the people I love
Why can’t it be Christmas all year?

Trey says it’s not too early for Christmas songs
I believe him 
I’m changing my schedule

Coffee cups with the rings in the bottom
I’m bad at doing dishes
I’m just worse at admitting I’m wrong. 

The lights aren’t as bright as I remember them being
When I was a kid.

Syd and I couldn’t sleep
For damn near the entire preceding week.

Drive the grapevine, half past nine
Made it through LA, so I’ve still got time
got this red and green blood, and I’m feeling quite fine
This season is growing on me.

Going back to this town that I hate
For the people I love
See my friends and family again

Glass of eggnog, a fire’d be great
With the people I love
Why can’t it be Christmas all year?


Holiday Cheer All Year

A short, slow song I threw together in a few minutes. I needed something to take my mind off of a presentation I'm working on, so this was it. Pre-finals week is even more stressful than finals week.

LYRICS:

Heart of stone
In the bottomless pit 
that’s my chest
That’s myself.

I don’t understand, but why would I
I had to ask, I had to ask

So wouldn’t you breathe in for me?
Would you stop, even for me?
I don’t know if you would if you could.

Let’s just
Try this
One time
Dismissed.

Headache
Earthquake
Bad choice
My mistake.

Stain me, Stain me.
Let this ink contain me.
Honest: I see this happening
For sure if you let it.

So please just think 
with an open mind
and just give me your time
I know I’m giving my all

So stain me
Stain me 

How do you like that?
I can read, I can write,
I can sing,
Kind of.

That’s not a humble brag
It’s not a brag at all
I’m a wreck
But I’m good at it.


Impossibly Like Real

LYRICS:


No, It’s totally cool
I didn’t want to eat tonight anyway

In fact,
My body’s been throwing hunger strikes
And it’s disagreeing with me all the time
And that’s the reason why
I can’t eat at night.

The world is bright this time of year
And I am right about one thing, dear.

The world doesn’t work that way
But that doesn’t mean it’s that bad of a place.
I’m in a sitcom state of mind.

How would you like it
If I laid my labor on the line?
Disappointed by
The lies that we have lied.

I will carry on no matter what
The future wants.
But to keep this song true:
I’d want it to be you.

I see the pattern in the lack of words
And it hurts
But I’ve lived through worse.

I could be wrong, I’ve got a thing for over thinking
I’ve always erred on the side of wrong
To be prepared

For the inevitable
To make it forgettable.

See what I did there?
I’m already fine.
You lost track of time.

How would you like it
If I laid my labor on the line?
Disappointed by
The lies that we have lied.

I will carry on no matter what
The future wants.
But to keep this song true:
This’ll have to do.


Separated at birth,
Me and all my sense of tact.
Separated at birth,
All the ways I should react.

(I can’t let this slip through
without trying to warn you.)


Sitcom State of Mind

Quick song I wrote in between studying for finals. Hope you enjoy!

LYRICS:


You can measure my mood by
The words I wrote on my hand the night before this:
“Fucked, dumb, diffused
Like a time bomb.”
Fucked, dumb, and confused
Win some, lose some.

I’ve been crafting a way
To make this song sound so cliché
That it tugs on the heartstrings
That it tugs until it stings.

Triers trying
All Tonight.
People buying
All my lies.

There’s no protagonist
Sometimes there’s not a plot at all.
Just competing viewpoints
Just conceding you points.

I don’t know what’s worse.
You thinking I believe
Or believing it’s my fault.

Lexicologically speaking
I’m at a loss for words
But if we’re being honest,
All I’m thinking are verbs:

Wander and rain,
Smash and remain,
Conquer and question
The point of this game.

Lead and direct
In a similar vein,
Compound and detain
Sillhouettes and the same. 

Blood is not the answer here.
Why is everything so severe?

Let’s not make a scene
I was born and I have dreams.


Advanced Lexicology

One of the other songs I wrote for my EP. It's not intentional that I always use metaphors about eating, I swear.

LYRICS:

Hungry for an answer
like I didn't eat in days.
Sick of all these aches and pains
and how they stand in my way.

Fear in the eye of beholders
and I'm scared as hell.
Burning slick, the candle wick,
it's caustic, I can tell.

let me interpret this as well as I can.

We are all hopeless
in our own ways.
Legendary,
and we're here to stay.

The promise of control is tempting
but the era where I care is ending;
'I loved it just as much back then,' I say.

So did you not expect this charade?
Were all the moves I threw at your face sent in vain?

Breathe in, breathe out
don't be ashamed.
Living like your life has been
pre-ordained.

Twirling thumbs collide in fists
as I sit here, taking all my shifts
between ignorance
and hopeless malaise.

Do you ignore everything that can change
the person in the mirror at the end of the day?

I'd have to say 'Yes;'
I'd have to think for a minute,
but then I'd say 'Yes.'
You don't need another realist.

So I'll take a guess
and say you're happy now
with your best.

When you look back on what this became,
will you remember me?

Assuming Direct Control

LYRICS:

Bravely Crossing Guiding Lines in the Sand
We drew them for ourselves,
But we didn’t understand

Why do I feel sick?
Why do I shy from the pin prick?

Wide-eyed and tragically bored
Convincing, Convincing now,
And the Devil’s at the door:

“Don’t forget your tact
Unless you want to end up like your dad”



Why do I dream these dreams that I know
Never materialize?
Seems like a waste of my time,
Of thoughts and exhasperated sighs.
I think so much, so goddamn much,
I think I need a break now.
So knock me out, bring me home, and make sure I’m sleeping alone.

To the lighthouse,
It’s what we’ve gotta do
To save ourselves, to save my soul.
Like a soldier on an angry sea, the water doesn’t mean that much to me.
(Fucking bullshit mystery ,
It doesn’t seem to be working.)

Guide us home with light,
But the lighthouse isn’t lit up tonight.

Singing sleaze, now I know the routine,
Stumbling drunk at the party scene.
I see. 

Moonlighting causes and locking the doors,
Crashing through barriers that wouldn’t budge for me before.

Sleep on what you’ve heard,
Rash decisions pay well, I’m sure you’ve learned. 


To The Lighthouse

I tried to hide my babyface
Through a smoke screen of cigarettes
And not shaving for a few days
Didn’t really work.

Now I’m stuck with all these things
Like they’re a part of me.
To cut to the chase,
It’s confusing.

Now I can’t stand for the life of me
Sick of news
This whole routine.

I can’t stand her face on my lighted screen. 

And I’ve got a secret
It’s pretty deep, but
I’m ready to share:

I can't stand myself, any way I see it.

“Give it some time” they say,
“Pay it no mind” they say.

Holy wonders of the twisted world,
Please don’t leave me behind.

Look under the bed each night
Not sure if I’ll find

Something to keep me believing
That nerves was really all it was.

Taking back this weekend
Taking back this meaning.

Playing into the plan
This is more than who I think I am
Trying too hard
That’s my modus operandi

Don’t try to make this harder,
Harder than it really is
Maybe I win, maybe I lose
But this won’t be the end of it.

Buckminster Fuller (and Now I'm Empty)

A simple song I wrote for my little sister, Sydney. Going for a more straightforward Starting Line sound, since that's music we bond over.

LYRICS:


White room, white walls,
It’s the cause of it all
Melting in the summer heat.

Be careful, little sister,
You don’t know what’s out there.
When you’re older
Things aren’t better.
Prepare to be confused
And used.

I don’t want to kill your spirit,
But it’s best you hear from me:

To Syd, with love,
The world isn’t this great place, I know, I hope you’re probably thinking of.
So Syd, stay home sometimes,
There’s no shame in being comfortable with yourself.
No shame in staying on in a Friday night.
Look at me.

And when the summer ends
2014
You’ll relive discarded advice from me. 

It’s there, but you won’t see it
It’s always been there.

One of these days
You’ll wake up feeling aches and sore
Sorry for the bitter pains,
I’m sorry kid, it’s what’s store


To Syd, With Love

A short little thing about being bored, which causes you to think a bit more about stuff.

LYRICS:


So it’s not a good idea,
But we’re young
We’ve got time to make mistakes.

Flashing crimson, getting farther,
Far more difficult
Considering the breaks.

So next next time
Won’t you please avoid the landmine. 

Unfulfilled and bored
That’s the way it is.
The way it is.

Wipe this smirk off of my face
And give me bad news
That’s just the way it is. 




Next Next Time

Song number 5 for Fawm!

LYRICS:


I would bury my head in my hands
If I could dig the hole deep enough
That my words would never leave my lips
And escape from me.

Self conscious about every goddamn thing
My hair and the all these words I sing
Emotional breakdowns on the day-to-day.

So ready or not
Pat the soil and let it rot
Maybe I’ll grow into this one someday.

Break for the middle and wait for the end
Everyone’s watching, no one’s your friend
Bad luck follows me around again.

And would you say no to a joke?
It’s called my social life, I know.
Unyielding hex, a Cineplex, 
A nervous energy around my neck.

A feast for the eyes is a misnomer
I can’t believe that anyone else could ever eat 
after what they’ve seen

Would you be conducive to a truce?
Do you trust the emotions I wield
Until they’re of no use?

Around my neck,
You draped your arms
that night,
and I remember every blurry detail:

The way your perfume smelled so sweet in the air
I didn't care.

Embarrassing, But Aren't I Always?

So I accidentally uploaded the unfinished version last time, so this is the better version.  Dedicated to Aingau! Yeah!

LYRICS:

When I woke up
It was more of the same thing
Lights are blinding
From the center of the three ring.

Everything seems so hazy
While I’m slowly getting lazy.

I tried to cut it from the source, I know,
Brevity was never my strong suit, so
I left my fears at the foot of the door
Along with Panic! at the Disco and the trouble that I’ve got store

For you tonight.

I think that I’m losing my cool
And that’s something that I never had.
I realized I’m just getting worked up
Over things that I never meant.

I found out the hard way
That they’re all behind me.
I found out the hard way,
That everything’s coming around
Coming around again.

My little league was where it was at
Gripped tight at the handle of a baseball bat
I didn’t want to let my guard down
It’s a cause and effect now.

I never saw the point in geography
I guess I situate with people that are close at hand

So who cares if Europe sinks into the sea
I’ve got some people who take care of me.

The car idled as I made up my mind
Gas was wasted, but the courage wasn’t there.
So I ran away,
Like I always do.
Washed my hands of this.


Earning My Second Chances

Defined

American Forests

Intertude (I'm Too Sick for These Beatz)

No Thanks, Dude

Progress

The Adequate (No Compromising)

LYRICS:

I cut the card you got me in half
And set the scraps on fire
In my back porch.

It’s weird, but I think your soul
Was trapped in there.
I Exorcised you
From my room.

I’ll never get back the money 
I spent to drive on the 55.
A fraction of my life
I wasted away.

I’ll always make more cash
But you’ll never get your self respect back.

Would you please
Leave the light on.
I’m not ready to give up the ghost
To go back to bed.

If I can make it through
This night that’s cursed by you
I’m stronger than you could ever hope to be.

I hope you run back soon
Just so I can tell you:
“You made a mistake? Well, I did too
by ever loving you.”  

So far I know
That you know to mend and turn away.
You wanna see mad?
I’ll fucking show you mad.

I hope you fall
And I hope you crack
And I hope you never claw your way back.

You’re the worst
It’s the truth
I fucking hate everything about you.


Leave the Light On

Note: I re-uploaded this because increasingly, I fucking hated the spoken word intro, and I feel like everyone had pretty similar sentiments. Enjoy this much less pretentious song.

LYRICS: 
I looked out at the moonrise
And I knew I’d be okay.
I rearranged the pieces
So I could get through the day.

Nothing can get broken if you leave alone
But when nothing’s ever done, You can’t call that close
To living.

I’d rather be in shambles on the floor of a party
Then a night spent detached, just feeling sorry
For myself.

It’s something that I’m missing, and it’s not gonna be
All the excuses you’ve been bullshitting me
For so long.

Tell me how this unfolds.

I could
never
Be as bad as her
I’m far too delicate
I’ve got this temperament:

Shoot on
First sight,
At least that’s what it feels like
I don’t want to feel dead
So I’ll be 21 instead
I’ll drink till I’m safe in bed
And worry about the things that they all said
At my expense.
 
And when the push comes to shove
I never thought that much of love
I always thought lot about myself.

Making all these errors
I’d never breed this era. 
I just bought it so I’d have it,
Now it’s gone forever.

Tell me if you think that’s fair.

I don’t want to feel trained
So I can’t play this game,
But I forgot her name
Looks like I’m going home alone again.

There might be times
Where I call in sick
To all this shit
And what goes along with it.

Everything is broken
In regards to what we want.

But making plans
And shaking hands
It’s difficult
To understand

For a kid who can’t make eye contact;
I don’t have it just yet.

I live in a relapse
Perpetual in circumstance
A babyface who cannot dance
Trying not to fall through the cracks
But I can work on that.
Someday I’ll be back
Till then, I’ll just fix the things I lack.


Outpacer/Eraser

My attempt at a shitty, simple, fast, quick punk song. 

LYRICS:
I guess it's part of growing up,
no wounds can bleed forever
so just sew them up,
And throw away the letter
that implored you to stay.
This song is stuck on replay
all day, I'm okay
I promise.

I was given this,
but it wasn't the best.
I need to trust in myself
but myself is a mess
so cleaning takes priority,
much more seniority,
than your things, I must confess.

And I'm still here,
even though I'm not 
in the clear:
I'm upset a lot.

I freeze up in public,
I can't look cute girls in the eye
People think I'm mean,
I'm just too nervous to get by.
But I try.


The Slowest Songs are the Meanest Ones

A song I wrote to escape from finals bullshit. Hope you enjoy it!

LYRICS:

Willful excommunication
sitting in my car with no motivation,
twirling fingers in my hands 
as filthy money changes plans,
and I'm helpless to stop it.

Now windows are fogging
while my memory's clogging:
I'm hopelessly wrecked in the brain. 

I'd risk the critics
If my mental limits
let me go out in this rain.

How does it go again?

Pine trees dangling from the rear view
Makes every breath I take seem brand new
It's just recycled air,
I tell myself as I stare
down.

I'll put the car in drive
and retreat into town.

Self-Loathing In A Car

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

LYRICS:

Christmas Friends

Swallowed by the mountains as I'm driving home
it's just so damn cold
I wear my coat inside the car.

A different kind of Christmas lights
as I'm forced to turn on bright
so I can make it safely through the Grapevine.

From 201 to 55
the trucks are pulled off to the right
I'm alone, stuck on the 5 tonight.

but I'm just fine.

We're not friends, 364,
But we're all back in town
Reminds me why in high school
I was afraid to let you guys down.

I'm feeling things I never thought I'd feel
in Bakersfield
It's so surreal,
but it's what I need,
so let's be free tonight.

I'm self-important sometimes
but you all get me right,
so Merry Christmas,
I won't fight it.

When it comes to all of this,
I've got my Christmas list
made of wishes I resist.

This year's been hard
but that's we need Christmas songs
and friends that we only see for winter

 Maybe icicles don't coat
the roofing of my house
A Southern california winter
means, at worst, some clouds.

I cherish what I find,
so I won't have to wait in line.
Merry Christmas,
I won't fight it


Graduation

A song I wrote for my girlfriend, who's doing a month long backpacking tour of Europe. Basically just wrote it because I missed her.

LYRICS:

Maybe it's the distance
or maybe it's the boredom,
I don't think I'm ready
to give up and go home.

One more drink,
two more minutes,
three missed calls,
and no bad decisions.

Brick and stone,
mortar, concrete, 
All alone,
right across the sea     

You're not next to me,
but five drinks into Saxon history.
I'm not on your mind,
and that's completely fine.

It's a pub crawl for a young girl
and you're not shaken up, and you're not scared.
You're a brave one, I know,
It's just tough for me to try and let  you alone.

Let's just get to the point:
I miss you, and I'm sorry.
I know I told you not to think of me,
but it's just so tough when my bed feels empty.

and I'm falling more in love with you
every day that I'm put through 
this battle. I know, that sounds bad,
but you can't hold on to what you thought you had.

Pub Crawl

The 5th of 7 songs of the "Traveler EP." It's about a lot of things, but mostly about communication and how it's hard overseas. This one will eventually be full band due to a friend in Boston, but I want y'all to get a taste of it now.

LYRICS:

I watched you fade into the sunset
then watched the sunrise before my eyes.
It didn't seem to be suspect
but I saw my self-confidence die.

It's true,
This compromise
inside my mind 
has made me blind
to my logical side.

And when you get home
You'll have to know 
That I let worry show
and it's nothing I can't control.

I need to clear my mind
Let life decide the time
not my current desperate state
I'm okay, I can wait, but it drives me insane.

Keep checking my phone for your face
Three (Four) hours with this empty space.
Broken fingers claw at the pane
of my name, is this a game or are you listening?

I gave it a chance to take hold of me
and it consumed all that I try to be:
"Calm and Collected Since 2013"
I'm sick of watching friends leave.

You know
it's just the way I think about it.
I'm consumed
with ways to live without it
and crippling fear and such self-doubt
It's a miracle you've toughed this out.
 
I don't think that you are,
and I can't relax.   
I wrote this song
in between your texts.

Cell Phone

I'm Trevor, a student in Southern California. I've been playing guitar for a few years, and been singing for even less years. Some of my main influences are Say Anything, Colin Hay, The Spill Canvas, Queen, and The Starting Line, among other pop-punk and acoustic artists. 

A Guilt Engine

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