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Disco Apocalypse

Autopilot Lungs

In 2023, I had one epileptic seizure after another. With the right medication, I haven’t had any issues since. A hallmark of epilepsy is that you simply choke. With a lot of luck, your lungs switch to autopilot and gasp for air on their own.

On the night of May 11 to 12, 2025, I went to bed at 8:30 PM. It was very warm, so I pulled one blanket off and placed it aside, against my spine.

Suddenly, I heard two people speaking Arabic on the street outside. From the sound of it, it was a mother and her daughter. A few minutes later, the mother was in my bed (in the spot where the blanket had been) and began strangling me with a firm chokehold. She seemed incredibly strong.

As I struggled to break free in every way I could, I touched a dog. Medium-sized, it felt emaciated. I was choking, but somehow I managed to escape the chokehold. My lungs, just like during an epileptic seizure, started switching to autopilot, but that didn’t last long because the daughter jumped on my back and pulled a plastic bag over my head, tightening it firmly.

I started choking again. I twisted and turned in every direction, slamming my back against the wall to get the child off me. This caused me to look the child in the eyes. I was choking, and the only thing I could do was jam my thumb hard into her eye and pull it out of its socket. She lost her grip on the bag, and my lungs switched back to autopilot.

Then I thought, “The path I took through the house with that child on my back doesn’t match reality.” No, it was my grandmother’s house, who’s been dead for 30 to 40 years. Since that’s impossible, I snapped back to this reality. I was still in bed, gasping for air. I turned on the light—I looked at the clock, it was exactly midnight. I ate a sandwich and drank some milk.

Back in bed, I still had to struggle to breathe. Did I have two epileptic seizures during sleep paralysis, something I’ve experienced often before? I don’t know. All I know is that I suffered greatly from this event and am afraid of “not making it through.”

The final dream analysis/paralysis can be read on EH Jansen's Substack:

https://erikjansen.substack.com/p/cde1b8c5-2b4f-4583-9e5a-ad8fc452aa42

Also on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVZ5t92Qrw8

Autopilot Lungs Lyrics:

(Intro)
In the dark where silence falls,
Breath is borrowed, barely calls.
Heat and pressure, shadows near,
The night becomes my deepest fear.

(Verse 1)
Went to bed, the room was still,
Pulled the blanket, fought the chill.
Voices drifted from the street,
Foreign words, a mother’s beat.
Then she came, without a sound,
Stronger than the world around.
Hands like iron round my throat,
Stole the air right from my soul.

(Chorus)
Autopilot lungs, don't fail me now,
I’m drowning here, don’t ask me how.
Every breath a war I fight,
Every shadow steals the light.
Suffocating in a dream,
But nothing’s ever what it seems.

(Verse 2)
Twisting, turning, gasping deep,
Touched a dog, too thin to sleep.
Freed myself from death’s embrace,
Only to find her daughter’s face.
Bag pulled tight across my scream,
Thrashing through this brutal dream.
Thumb to eye to make her see,
The last breath wrestled back to me.

(Chorus)
Autopilot lungs, don't fail me now,
I’m drowning here, don’t ask me how.
Every breath a war I fight,
Every shadow steals the light.
Suffocating in a dream,
But nothing’s ever what it seems.

(Bridge)
This house was never really mine,
Just echoes trapped in crooked time.
Milk and bread can't clear the haze,
Still haunted by those sleepless days.

(Chorus)
Autopilot lungs, don't fail me now,
I’m drowning here, don’t ask me how.
Every breath a war I fight,
Every shadow steals the light.
Suffocating in a dream,
But nothing’s ever what it seems.

(Outro)
Still afraid to fall too deep,
What if I don't wake from sleep?
Autopilot lungs, just hold the line...
Keep me breathing one more time.

Dream of curse - Anoman Obong

agus ratman

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