Y'all cum back now, hear?

One Dick - Drums, backup vocals
Two Dick - Bass, guitars, lead vocals

Bivverly Hellbellies (Demo)

From the forthcoming second Endless Dicks album, a tender love song about taking the time to appreciate the joy that others' loves bring them.

UPDATE GO GET IT NERD: https://endlessdicks.bandcamp.com/album/endless-dicks-2-the-dickening

One Dick - Everything

LYRICS:
When I see you holding hands
And when you kiss so sweetly
That is when I know for sure
You love each other completely
Flowers bloom and birdies sing
Heaven smiles above
As the two of you walk hand-in-hand
Through the garden of love

How I wish I had a love
Just like the one you share
I'd hold my love through rain and shine
And love her everywhere
Such a lovely love between
A lovely girl and boy
The lovely smiles upon your faces
Fill my heart with joy

You And Your Girlfriend Make A Cute Couple (Demo)

BIGBALLS.MP3

DEEPSOUT.MP3

The title track off of the forthcoming (lol "coming") Endless Dicks EP, as well as the first track written by the entire band.  As a special bonus, about a minute of unnecessary band drama is included at the beginning of the song.

LYRICS:
Endless Dicks, all in my brain.
Lately dicks don't seem the same.
Actin' funny, but I don't know why.
'Scuse me, while I dick the sky.

Endless Dicks, all around.
Don't know if I'm cummin' up or down.
Am I happy, or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a dick on me.

Endless Dicks, all in my eyes.
Don't know if it's day or night.
You got me blowin', blowin' my dick.
IS IT TOMORROW, OR JUST THE ENDLESS DICKS?

One Dick - Guitar, vocals
Two Dick - Bass, trumpet
Red Dick - Guitar solo
Jew Dick - Drums, violin

Endless Dicks

Alternate, edgier live version of HIBFTSALTMPTASDF5HS, recorded prior to Big Tim's Secret Delight.  See EP version for lyrics.

One Dick - Acoustic/electric guitar, lead vocals
Two Dick - Acoustic guitar, harmonies
Red Dick - Hand drum, harmonies
Big Black Dick - Acoustic guitar, harmonica, harmonies

Hell is Being Forced to Sit and Listen to my Parents Talk About Sexual Deviancy for Five Hours Straight (Big Black Dick version)

Demo of a song 'bout jerkin' it.  Also going to be on our next album.

One Dick - Drums, second guitar, bass, vox
Red Dick - Guitar, vox, super fuzzy solo that I had to turn way down because of how fuzzy it was

The Masturbation Sensation That's Sweeping The Nation (Demo)

So this happened.

One Dick - Fem bottom looking to party
Red Dick - Amanda & Alyssa

Oh god I'm so sorry

He's gonna do it!

From a recording session last summer where we were supposed to record two (count 'em!) new albums, but just ended up dicking around for like four hours until Ringo left to play Counterstrike.

One Dick, Two Dick - Soulful vocals
Ringo - Drums
??? - Piano man

I'll Cut My Penis Off

A cover of the heartwarming British sea shanty popularized by such music-making individuals as The Sex Pistols and... that one guy...

One Dick - Drums, lead guitar, tambourine, vocals
Two Dick - Bass, super-happy rhythm guitar, vocals
Red Dick - Rhythm guitar, British vocals
Jew Dick - Vocals, racism prevention, BIG OL' DICK

LYRICS:
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

On board The Good Ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead
Was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis

The captain's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight
He played 'till late
On his reproductive organ

The second mate was Andy
Dear Lord he had a dandy
'Till they crushed his cock
On a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night
Were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

Chorus:
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin', there was fuck all else to do

The bosun's name was John
He loved to get it on
He'd shove his skroat
Right down your throat
If you so much as yawned

The second mate was Cooper
By God he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked
Until he worked
Himself into a stupor

The steward was O'Malley
He didn't dilly-dally
Sat down to wank
And with just one yank
He whitewashed half the galley

The third mate's name was Chuck
One day he pushed his luck
Whipped out his tube
Forgot the lube
And got his stiffy stuck

CHORUS

The captain's son was named Chris
He was an anal rapist
More sodomy
You ne'er did see
From anyone but papists

The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his ass
With broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

The cook's name was Freeman
He was a dirty demon
He fed the crew
On menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen

The other cabin boy was Penis
He had a great big penis
He fucked and fucked
And fucked and fucked
Me in the ass with his penis

CHORUS

When we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk
In a wave of spunk
From too much fornication

REPRISE OF FIRST LINE
CHORUS x4 OR MAYBE 5 I FORGET

Epilogue:
If you want more of this serial
There's plenty more material
I wish you luck
Wherever you fuck
From all disease venereal

The Good Ship Venus (Friggin' in the Riggin')

Endless Dicks jam super nasty on the catchiest Christmas song - if not the catchiest song, period - ever penned, "Hava Nagila."  They didn't realize it was being recorded, but it totally was, luckily for Jewish Christmas music enthusiasts the world over.  This track also marks the first appearance of guitarist/percussionist/vocalist extraordinaire Dik-Dik Dick!
One Dick - Drums, vocals, organ
Two Dick - Bass, vocals
Dik-Dik Dick - Guitar, lead vocals
Jew Dick - Intro vocals
Drum Machine Built Into the Bass Amp - Itself

Hava Nagila 1A (Hava Na-DEMO-gila LOL)

To help get you into the holiday spirit, Endless Dicks have prepared this album of classic Christmas tunes - with a twist!  Tap your toes and snap your fingers to this rock 'n' roll reinvisioning of three classic songs, plus an all-new original Endless Dicks composition in honor of the holidays!

Endless Dicks Save Christmas

A brief preview of the wacky fun in store on Endless Dicks' long-awaited Self-Titled Debut EP, Endless Dicks!  Now available for downloadin' at endlessdicks.bandcamp.com!

Cock Tease

This was a Top 5 hit in 1985, written by Japan's best-selling lyricist of all time and recorded by a girl group whose name translates roughly to "The Pussy Club".  In English... For You!

お◯子クラブ

Sailor Uniform (Demo)

slime punk it the toxic waste of the 2012 century

Endless Dicks

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