2023

This was a challenging defeat.  Difficult to accept for several days now.

Updated the song a week later.  Still hurts.

April.2023

It Was A Bad Beat

May.2023

I Remember The Mean Days

It Ain't Chuck

Preamble is postscript.  Wasn't much of a month, musically.

The Esirprus

Today was a strange day.  Morning @ the Pride Parade in Kansas City.  Afternoon around mid-town.  Naps and movies.  A burst of energy at the end of the day.

June.2023

We All Have It

Finishing The Job

Don't mean it the way they think you mean it.

July.2024

The Single

About to experience something new.  Going out with a bang.

September.2024

Alaska Air

The song expresses the joy and sweetness of love, highlighting feelings of deep affection, dreams, and romantic connection between the female and male perspectives. It uses playful imagery and metaphors.

Living in a Sweet Love Extended Mix

Experimenting with some time signatures and dissonant rhythms, for you to enjoy.

Late Night Pickup

[VERSE 1]
Different city new playground 
Running round 
Sniffing out
Drugs like a greyhound
Take the 101 south
Head downtown
To yet another warehouse 
I know I need to find a way out
But the way I came in is blocked off 
House lights on
Crowd goes home
And I still can’t stop

[PRE CHORUS]
And I won’t take my bow just yet 
Got a couple stories left
Need to get this shit off my chest
And I’m done 
Gotta make my parents proud 
when they look at me now
All they see is the damage I’ve done 
They don’t like who I’ve become 
They miss the girl that I was
Now I’m too sensitive 
Sad and directionless 
Wasted potential 
And more broken promises 

I’m the problem kid 
An embarrassment 
Might not say it out loud but they’re thinking it 
Opportunities come in like battleship 
Every time I get one I start sinking it 
Overthinking shit 
Here comes the spiral again
Pick up the bottle
And oh here we go…

[CHORUS]
Got too drunk last night
I threw up in the taxi 
Line after line 
Passing out in the backseat 

Yet another morning after 
She’s so pretty when she’s plastered
When the night is long 
And her mind is gone 
What a beautiful disaster 

I get too high I won’t come back down 
I’m scared of heights
But I’m more scared of the ground 
 
Head in the clouds
I’m not coming down 
You can’t catch me now 
I’m gone 
What a beautiful disaster 
What a beautiful disaster
What a beautiful disaster

[VERSE 2]
Drug cravings 
Long before I took my first sniff 
Had my first hit 
Of validation
Innocent enough 
Just a little buzz
Til I started searching in the wrong places 
Found friends who couldn’t tell you what my name is
Half a life
Spent with strangers 
Now it's all blank pages…

[PRE]
But I won’t put my pen down yet 
Still gotta make my amends  
Needa get this guilt off my chest 
And I’m done
I just want to make ‘em proud 
Its a real tough crowd 
And shame is a loaded gun 
Now I'm too quiet 
Cold and defiant 
Play it like im fine 
When I’m not 
I’m not the daughter they want 
I'm just the daughter they got 

I’m a letdown
Disappointment 
Though they try hard to avoid it 
I can see in their eyes 
Their annoyance
I’ve made peace with my pain 
So they think I enjoy it 
That I self appoint it 
Like I wrote the script
Predestined to ruin 
My future before it begins 
Here we go again…

[CHORUS]
Got too drunk last night
I threw up in the taxi 
Line after line 
Passing out in the backseat 

Yet another morning after 
She’s so pretty when she’s plastered
When the night is long 
And her mind is gone 
What a beautiful disaster 

I get too high I won’t come back down 
I’m scared of heights
But I’m more scared of the ground 
 
Head in the clouds
I’m not coming down 
You can’t catch me now 
I’m gone 
What a beautiful disaster 
What a beautiful disaster
What a beautiful disaster

[OUTRO]
If I can be frank for a moment 
While I still have your focus 
I want to tell you bout a little girl 
Who always felt broken 
Lost and hopeless
Looking to others
For reasons to keep on going 

As I sit here now 
It's still raining, and storming
And I can't control it 
But 
There's beauty inside of the clouds
They cry and reset with a smile in the morning
And maybe that's all that is 
Let go and move on
Find new reasons to live
Never thought I'd make it past 16
This year I'll turn 26

Beautiful Disaster (Demo version)

When we roll it out, we will see it for what it is.

Anti Plan

I was feeling sorry and tired this morning. Hence ...

Shadow View

Two and Oh

Headed to a place I've never been before.

Via Atl

16 Bit Lolitas feat. Tove Lo - Give It Up (J.Young Vocal Remix)

Heading east.  In the middle, but still at the beginning.  Sharing my sketches and songs for you and for me.

It Was A Bad Beat

ajt.kc

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