Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread
Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread

Scarred indelibly 
Ego conditioned me
To be hesitant to show vulnerability
I would shed skin before tears like leprosy
Illusion of toughness 
With leather on my body
But lethargy corrupted me
Bottles did a number on my body  Bodily
Body isn’t happy with me
Feel like my life is like a boat that’s capsizing 
And the mirage is tantalizing 

Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread
Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread


Life loves to hit you with things you won’t see coming
Like a limnic eruption 
This is my lamentation 
No exacerbation 
The sorrow within torments me 
No exaggeration 
Lets assess the situation 
Up and down with my moods like a piston
Made some scathing 
Rather erratic decisions
Depression be my affliction


Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread
Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread

Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread
Drugs were there when I didn't have friends
Drugs are what killed all of my friends
Got this illness in my head it wants me dead
Pushing myself even though I retread

Addiction [Prod. Blxxdmage]

PURGATORY IN MY MIND
I DONT WANNA REWIND 
Felt so confined
I was intertwined 
LIVING IN  HEAVEN AND HELL AT THE SAME TIME 
PURGATORY IN MY MIND

WINED & DINED
WITH MY OWN DECLINE 
GLAD I DIDNT RESIGN 
Leaving ALL THAT BEHIND 
I WAS IN A BIND
Quite some time
PURGATORY IN MY MIND
PURGATORY IN MY MIND

I DONT WANNA LOSE MY LIFE 
BUT I REALLY WANNA DIE 

I DONT WANNA LOSE MY LIFE 
BUT I REALLY WANNA DIE 

I DONT WANNA LOSE MY LIFE 
BUT I REALLY WANNA DIE 


PURGATORY IN MY MIND 
BEEN UNDERMINED
Even though life 
Isn’t always kind
Now is my time 
I’m Steady on my grind
PURGATORY IN MY MIND 
LIVING IN  HEAVEN AND HELL AT THE SAME TIME


PURGATORY IN MY MIND

PURGATORY IN MY MIND

I DONT WANNA REWIND 
PURGATORY IN MY MIND


I won’t be a patron to those that patronize
That’s Vice versa
 if you didn’t realize
I got a real eye 
For the real
I realize 
I ain’t here to entertain lies 
Bounty on my head 
Like it’s lice

Procuring a better future 
I gotta Curate myself better
My Wordplay is off the wall like Peter Parker 
Movin calculated Like it’s Parkour

No bogey on par 4
I’m on par for 
Changing my life around 
Your honor 
It’s an honor
 I’m popping no longer 

But I am double jointed 
smoking two joints at once 
 Call me double jointed 
Watching the northern lights
While toakin on some northern lights

I DONT WANNA LOSE MY LIFE 
BUT I REALLY WANNA DIE 

PURGATORY IN MY MIND
I DONT WANNA REWIND 
Felt so confined
I was intertwined 
LIVING IN  HEAVEN AND HELL AT THE SAME TIME 
PURGATORY IN MY MIND

PURGATORY (PROD. BLXXDMAGE)

LYRICS:


I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again
I was born to fucking sin 
Just like the color of my skin 
I’m a heathen 
SMILE ON MY FACE
WHILE I SAY FUCK RELIGION

I DONT NEED A GOD 
TO BE A GOOD PERSON
If you do 
Well congratulations 

Doing me until I am fucking skeleton
Fuck a racist 
Fuck a rapist 
Fuck the reverend 

Fuck Anyone threatening me with hell 
DO US BOTH THE FAVOR 
AND GO KILL YOURSELF
Might as well expedite your LITTLE fairytale 
Fuck your politics 
Fuck your rhetoric as well

If you Hate these lyrics 
Well Go suck a dick 
I don’t care if I lose fans for saying this 

 pushing bigoted agendas
Is empty headed 
I PRAY Marjorie Taylor Green gets
Beheaded

UNHOLY (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

Tormented tormented 
Tormented tormented 
By own ways 
Tormented tormented 
By my own brain

All you can do 
Is take it day by day 
This is for all days 
Waking up 
taking myself for granted 
Wanted to leave
My brains 
painted on the granite 
So for breakfast 
I got blasted
It was quite the gamut 
Popping pills 
Like the protagonist
 in the queens gambit 
people wake up 
craving breakfast 
I woke up 
craving exits 
Tired of my brain leaving me decrepit 

 here I am now 
Enjoying my time bracket 
Changed my life 
around like it’s magic

I don’t wanna
have regret on my death bed 
USED TO HAVE A PITTY PARTY 
Going on In my head 
Wishing I was dead 
Use to POP PERCOCET 
NOW I’M In the gym 
DOING SETS
Tryna Do my best 
Bettering myself
Man Its better than sex 

Tormented tormented 
Tormented tormented 
By own ways 

Tormented tormented 
Tormented tormented 
By own ways 
Tormented tormented 
By my own brain

TORMENTED (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

Shut the fuck up 
I don’t care anymore 
Your words are 
smoke and mirrors 
They don’t help anymore 
I’m focused on myself 
I got time to explore 
But I don’t got time 
To entertain all your lore
My life I’m tryna restore 
But I’ve never really known 
How to live before 
Been at war with myself 
Since age 4
Healing isn’t linear 
But I got hope now
Not needles in my drawer 


Tryna rewire 
my mind that is haywire 
Felt imprisoned by my own thoughts like barbed wire
Thankfully I never pulled a Budd Dwyer 
When I was hella stressed 
and hella tired 
Working on myself 
Now I stay inspired 
Was so Saturated in the mayhem 
Really Wanted to severe
my own brain stem
Now with These thoughts 
Yeah 
I’m trying to rake them

THOUGHT FOXHOLE (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

Once your parents are gone 
That is that
But if you’re all you have 
Keep pushin past 
Know your worth 
Your worth more than that

I don’t need no pats on the back
Like a quarterback 
I’m pretty much the only one besides my mom
Who’s had my back
In the past I’ve definitely felt defeated 
Even though I get requests 
From people that want me feated 
It’s been a feat trying to get over my mind
That’s feinin 
Droppin to the
floor 
dry heaving 

It ain’t mind easing 
To feel floored by these people 
That are eavesdropping 
people dripped out in their condescending nature like it’s condensation 
Contemplating 

My problem isn’t insincerity it’s insecurity 
What my eyes have seen 
I wouldn’t wish-on anybody 
My brain is not pow wow
It’s a mad house

MAD HOUSE (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

Went from chuckie cheese 
To cheesin like I’m chuckie 
Boulevard of Broken Dreams 
To slaying 
like I’m buffy

ALL YOU SISSY MOTHAFUCKAS 
ACTING LIKE 
YOU TOUGH
SPEWING ALL THIS HATE 
LIKE ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF 

Fuck it 
Ready any day
to kick the bucket 

People love to gossip 
I just love to zip it

Lovin marry Jane 
By the zip I smoke it

Toakin
Off All this pain
That I’m holding

wanna shoot the brain right up 
off yo frame
They call you names 
But wouldn’t last a second
 in your veins 

Taken quite a few 
powder trips 
But not fond of power trips 
I’ve been blunt 
And I’ve faced blunts 

On the beat I Meander 
Loving yourself is the most g thing ever
like a calendar 
OUR days are numbered 

Homie My crazy’s been tenured 
Haven’t seen an iota 
Of sanity in ten years

DELIRIUM (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

My brain is a jungle 
My craziness 
Bundled 
Bungee jumping with my inner self 
Your time is wealth,
Use it wisely 
Like your health


IM SINGLE 
Single handedly a mess  
People looking at my music saying who is this 
My mind is 
treacherous 

My head is my office 
Seeing your 
clock hit the next number is never promised 

Tryna not botch it
Things can get caustic 
Tryna not be the cause of it 

Felt Invalidated
By the people I got vulnerable with 

Yeah 
The type embarrassment and shame that makes you want to cease to exist 
I move silent 
Talking Seldom 
I keep everything quiet
people can’t read you 
if you stay vague and private
Foggin their brain  
with ambivalent judgment 
Always Downplaying
 my involvement 
there’s a difference 
between being silent and being silenced 
my brain is hella violent 

Violence 
Took residence in the darkest crevasses of my own conscience 

The liquor was an equalizer 
Went from tranquilizer
To train wrecking
 my whole life over 
Now I’m working backwards 
Trying to keep my mind sober 
Told myself I could 
never get sober 
Guess I 
didn’t do 
my homework 
Thought if I did my life 
would be over 

Now I’m sitting here sober
But the struggle ain’t over

CALI SOBER (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

Everyone’s got a story 
If you break it down to bare bones 
But People get stuck up like a traffic cone
To each their own
that may lead
 to people being
Inanimate like a garden gnome 

Takin Caffeine and knowledge 
 to the dome
Not an imposter
 but I got 
Imposter syndrome 
Unlike a palindrome 
I was never the same 
On my way back out 
Tryna find my own route 



I don’t move in numbers 
Like a motorcade 
Head over heals 
With the music 
Like some rollerblades 
Used sip lean in the 
Fanta large size 
Used Fantasize 
About going out with 
them large pupil eyes 
Didn’t care about my life

Didn’t care if I died 

Now I’m tryna make it right 

I’ve seen the life fade 
from many many many lives 
been in a myriad of dark times 

Been sidelined for way too long
been told that I’m wrong  
But it’s time to bounce back 
like some ping bong 
Comparative worth
Will corrupt your self esteem 
Making art everyday just to blow off steam
I ain’t down for playing games
This is real life not steam

Semblance of normalcy 
Slowly creeping back to me
 I became so glued to the negativity 
The negative in me

 agony of grief is a bottomless pit 
Nothing I can say or do
Can bring you back to exist 
I’m heartbroken
 that you’re gone sis
This feeling is the worst
 that 
it can get
Unequivocally
 you’ll be missed 

Apart of me wishes this was just
All a skit 
Id be lying if I said 
I wasn’t pissed 
The only solution to your life you saw 
was to lose it

BOUNCING BACK (Prod. DUMBCHILD)

I remember feeling blue with the Jay 
And wishing I could fly away
 from 
My Issues like a blue Jay 
Used to get loaded everyday


Taking back to back 
hits from the one hitter 
Like Dave Stieb the pitcher 

DONT LET THAT BAR 
GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER 
THATS SOME TRIVIA 
IF YOU WANT TO DIG DEEPER 

Thoughts up on my head like a follicle 
Fallible 
but these lyrics
Aint falsifiable 
It’s undeniable 

I’ve 
been undesirable 
But now I’m the underdog 
with these syllables 

Editorials never pick me 
But My life an editorial
I remember walking in the courtroom 
Wearing orange like an oriole 
There’s layers to this right
like an Oreo 
IM LOCO WITH A MOTIVE 
MAKING MOVES LIKE A LOCOMOTIVE 

shohei with the ballpoint 
Balling with the 
Wordplay 
It’s effortless at this point 
with this music im hella niche 
Like the videos of Andrei Jiehk 
These lyrics ain’t sleight hand 
Even though that’s 
part of my mystique 

It’s no mystery 
Back handed Compliments 
were the only compliments that people
Gave out complementary 
Head spinning like rotisserie 
Rotary 
Wrote away
 some of the worry 

I remember feeling blue with the Jay 
And wishing I could fly away
 from 
My Issues like a blue Jay 
Used to get loaded everyday

#19 - Jack Widow

Akenlli

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