Fake Shit

In Leulogy

Country

Selflessishness

Dogs

Song of Earth's Despair

This morning dawn like all the rest greets me silent calm and woke, I know the many people in this town would rather I jumped in a lake and drowned.

I guess you'd say I am an asshole, telling all the people all I've told, how the pain of mother nature unfolds, or how the human species needs to croak.

I'm just so tired now from all the Saturday morning cartoons, filling up my past with dreams of moral nature and all that.

Reagan made it so that all the television shows had a little moral telling you to be good for goodness sake. 

Well now I'm an adult, a millennial, you know my inbox for insults is getting full. I didn't cause this mess or fail to rise, boot on my throat spells out my demise.

Why didn't you care, why didn't you do something, why are you still there with a job calling shots and raping the land.

Go home, retire, do a puzzle. Have cocktails and fuck each other. All you have to do for us is get out of the way or we'll make you pay some day we'll have no choice, it'll be you and us and you'll be frail while I'll be broke.

You had every chance.
You had every chance.
But God told you it matters what little sexual organ lives under your clothes.

You had every chance.
You had every chance.
But you had to be sure no boys could dance together.

It sickens me how you can see the clear demise of hope the devastating scene, and still there's only one big dream for you.

One day I'll die.
I'll go up into the sky of blue.
Jesus will come back to you.
He's gonna torture all you little shits.
He's gonna tell you all the sins you've kept.

Fuck you.
What kind of god is that?
What kind of stupid inscure little child is that?
Can he not get over all we've done with just simple little look at what he's failed to save us all from:

Genocide
Famine, war
Exploitation, pain of every sort

You think this god deserves to hand out judgment.
I think you need to shut up and leave the government.

GO HOME.
GET A DRINK.
DON'T BOTHER US.
WE NEED TO THINK.
YOU FUCKED IT UP.
YOU WON'T BE HERE.
TO CLEAN IT UP.
SO GRAB A BEER.

STAY OUT THE WAY STAY OUT THE WAY STAY OUT THE WAY STAY OUT THE WAY.

JUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE

JUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE

Go Home

I Need A Better Way

The lyrics have a lot of noise over them, what needs to be made clear ends up clear through the song. This regards the feelings of being exploited by adults when, as a child, I became involved with the early internet. This is autobiographical. This was not my entire experience with the Furry community, this was just the most lasting impact of my involvement with the community.

Sorry

Transition

I saw you sitting at the...

Felony DUI - PCP

Hell Yes

Plants

This Crazy New Thing

Programmer

Rat Park (Radio Version)

The anchor of all that was made
Meant to light a loved one's face
Meant to be looking for grace
Who hasn't been around, and won't now
Isn't as bad
as the pain of the years
spent runnin' through minds
hoping to find one for mine
but
That isn't as good
As the feeling I can get
creating art for no one's sake

Simply extending to myself the kindness to be wrong
Speak my peace
Leave a memento for the people
A thousand years
A thousand more

One day even I won't bore
I'll be special as a specimen
for surviving irrelevance
Never touched
Never stolen

Left for martian Magellan
To discover
And relate
To the awful pang of fate

The universe comes through us
To experience itself
But doesn't want
To be bored
By someone too abstract
Unwilling to adapt

Beep boop blorp
Hello aliens
Here's my report

It was lonely
All that glory
Left behind inside the cities
Was built by a minority
Fit to lead

I was a defective cattle
Mooing out my childish fable

I wasn't beautiful
Only a little smart
Always breaking my own heart

I couldn't act
couldn't sing

the very only thing that I was good at

was leaving evidence that I was here

and didn't think anything all to great

All That Was Made: The Anchor

Why is everything always so god damn tragic for you,
God damn it's like there's nothing else,
But your,
Stupid past and how you love yourself,
And you can't, 
Stop asking me to stroke your ego
Damn.

It's not like that, 
it's not that simple,
Long ago I stopped being able
To speak to
Anybody for more than
A few words before falling into
Traps unheard.

Feeling great distance grow between
All of the silence, 
And the stupid selfish interest too
Wanting human interaction
To be all satisfaction

I guess
I just remember all those years
Curling up so afraid
Not finding people I could be with
Don't know why it killed the pain

Now I'm old and married
Well surprised that I ain't buried

But i
Still find it's the reason why
I call out from time to time
And say

Hey friend wait a minute
I know you've been
Doin your own thing now for years
But it would really mean a lot to me

If you could listen while I scream

Now I don't need to talk about what I'm doing or what I bought,
I don't give a lick bout what you think,
And I ain't just smokin pot

I wrote out all I needed on this shitty little napkin
Won't you take a look
Take listen
Put up with a magnet in the kitchen
Cause I ain't tryin to be your favorite artist

I just need to know you noticed

Hey Friend Wait A Minute

I knew I couldn't have you
Until I could have myself
I wouldn't wake up, wouldn't work
Couldn't manage to clean myself

I bought a plant or two or three
Five ten twenty five or more
I bought them lights and watered them
And then i watered them some more so that i could wake and sleep
And water them more

Soon cookin' meals and postin' pics
Of flowers trees and vines
I knew but still my heart couldn't fill
Till I could make you mine

Now you rooooooll to the side
Lift up your legs and sigh
Want your belly pets and treats
Until the day you fly

A song writteI remember slot cars, country trails,
Sierra Nevadas touching the clouds,
I remember how you'd change
Anytime anyone was in pain

You drifted on your way for years
Ashamed of being fond of beer
I know it took some years away
I know memories fade to grey

But I remember rockets in the park
Pink Floyd stirred my heart,
A little walkman, a box of tapes,
Cindi Lauper soothed my fate

I remember stuffed crust pizza
Anytime we came to see ya
That time you jumped off a house of boat
And a great big splash that was no joke

And I remember all the times,
You tried to help when I'd lose my mind
Telling me the awful truth that's a little great
There's only I to guide my fate

And if that seems a little harsh
Keep in mind, the mind is dark
And two kindred faulty apes
Can find great comfort even grace for my dad

Dad's Song

Love letter to weed
Love letter to weed
How could I possibly
Say all I could mean

From the first time
Seventeen
Just entered college
What a dream

I couldn't see beyond
The stress living
Inside my brain

So we got in the car and rolled up all the windows
We smoke a blunt and cruised along wherever we'd go
I didn't feel too much, as is the case for many who are trying
For the first time and denying that a drug could be much good

But I remember dreaming spots, little dots
And I failed to realize I had put down all my disguise
I had relaxed and simply didn't know it yet

Love letter to weed
Love letter to weed
How could I possibly
Say all I could mean

As time went by
I felt vibrations every time I took a deep toke and found the time
To be alone and focusing inward

The dreams that I could have
Laying down and doing nothing
Simply healing everything
Well isn't that something

Tolerance builds, but so does stress
And there were times I would do anything to find a way out of the mess
But any time I had some loud
It was only one puff now until it's fine
It's great
I can handle everything that's on my plate

But then I found for legal reasons
Spice, K2, oh what a season
For going right past fine and into something altogether vile

Fifteen minutes, I can do this
Just the worst panic in the world
Just ten minutes left and I can enjoy myself again this is no toy
This is a drug
And I miss my mary jane inside my lungs

Love letter to weed
Love letter to weed
How could I possibly
Say all I could mean

One day they legalized it and everyone could try it
It took a while to feel like it was real
But the prices were capitalism trying to steal
But wait
It took just days

And then the price did stabilize
And I could once more have the pride
Of being legal, not a creep,
Oh god what an amazing feat

Because my mind you see can't seem to see
A way out of the darkness that could be
A way to find creativitay
Just have to keep it all together
And the plant helps me remember
It isn't all so bad

Love letter to weed
Love letter to weed
How could I possibly
Say all I could mean

I don't have the words that will convince you
If you think this way is evil
But the mind's delight when it is not right
Is just to get a better view


And that's what I'll do

Love Letter to Weed

Painting patterns in echeveria
Gentle meadows of soft sedum
Angel wing begonias
And day lilies out to greetcha

Iris all over
A buttercup or few
I couldn't get you flowers
Half as fine's the ones you grew

Well when I wake up in the morning
And get to goin' out to water
All the plants that keep me doin
Approximately what I aughta

There's no surprise in who op'n my eyes
The plants and bugs and little things
That add up to what makes a garden
All the things that lead to harvest

What you sow is what you'll reap
How'ya make yer bed's how you will sleep
Sometimes life'll make you weep
But her son I'll always be

Mother

There's a chance when you play this
I may have done something selfish
And in this moment the past would like to say
I was wrong to make you feel this way

If I could take it back I would
But I'm probably busy takin some kind of offense
To something you only said in your defense
Because all we need is a little more time to breathe

Me across the room lookin' angrily
Prepare your heart or lonely be
Extend your finger to me daintily
"You wanna maybe E.T. it, babe", Like we like to say

Me, I know you think you're right
Or otherwise there's a point to be made
The only point to be found before you run your friendship in the ground
Is to learn when to say,"You know, I'm really sorry"

Babe, I know I've let you down
So from me to you let's forget this clown
Press your ring, to mine, an a, straight line
And say "Wonder Twin powers, activate!"

You might really need for me to care
I might for no good reason not be there
Please remember how I'd always say
"You are my favorite depu-tay"

There's a chance when you play this
I may have done something selfish
And in this moment the past would like to say
I was wrong to make you feel this way

If I could take it back I would
But I'm probably busy takin' some kind of offense
To something you only said in your defense
Because all we need is a little more time to breathe

To You While I'm A Jerk

I put it off so long
But crunch time is here

I burnt out my welcome
By abandoning fear

I'm headed to reckless
And half past a mistake

I know that I'm doin
Not enough of what it takes

Now I'm layin' here in a tent
All covered in net

Hidden right in plain sight
In the park mile out west

I can feel all the crayfish
Just under the tarp

While I am still dry
The park turnt into a marsh

There's a raccoon by the log
Just a washing his meal

And I thought by now hunger
Woulda made me work or steal

But all of this nature
Does not strive here to be

It just rolls on forever
On how it does feel

I don't know why nothing
Pushes my hand to plow

Not for respect or need
And not fer lack on knowing how

I do hope one day
I will learn how to want

I will push myself harder
With all of my heart

Camping

When you were just a little thing
Compared to other dogs you were a dragon king
And then you got older, awkward and lanky,
But lovin' you made us oh so happy

Ziggy!
You are my young man.
Ziggy!
Protect us I know you can

And when down the creek you did run away
To chase that hound dog actin like a stray
I picked you up and carried you home
An enormous fluffy bag of bones

Ziggy!
You are my young man.
Ziggy!
Protect us I know you can

Now when I see how you get right in the way
Guarding the entry wherever we do stay
How you run out to the back and bark and Bay
I think you were a wolf sent to protect us that day

Ziggy!
You are my young man.
Ziggy!
Protect us I know you can

Ziggy!
You are my young man.
Ziggy!
Protect us I know you can

Ziggy

Every little thing is always hangin on to nothin, just a little thread called what the fuck happen.

Can't eat can't sleep and I can't excape my dreams, all of this is hangin on burstin at the seams

They test out what the public will put up with, give us plastic tv and an AI we can fuck with

Fundamentally my friend I aughta step away, but my wife and I are prolly gonna stay

Eatin up the offering, puttin off the deafening, roars of underclass souls that carry everything

It's all a plan, a calculated risk, push em till they bleed then make it seem amiss

Oh my woah the economy's gettin ugly, because it's run by men who'r always hungry

Tryin' to turn my life into a profit center,
Tryin' to make sure I am never better

...

WHY THE FUCK DO WE KEEP DOING IT

WE KNOW THE SOLUTION IS DON'T PUT UP WITH IT

HEY WAIT A MINUTE MY FAVE SHOW IS ON FUCK IT

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

On A Thread

Tova

Context: this is a song about arguing with a loved one and then suddenly needing to protect them from themselves.


I have all the love in the world
I have a world of things to give
But one thing I don't have
Is a perfect way with words

I don't have much labor
I gave it to a boss
I don't have much of common sense
My youth was spent and lost

All I have is loving you
That's gotta count for something
When I leave the laundry out
Or keep the office messy


Left alone
I'd nest up with my sadness
Build a monument to being classless
Simply shrink right up and die


So I'm sorry that I do so little
Wish I was better at meeting in the middle
Can't help thinking you need a touch of calm
Cause this little issue's becoming a frightening bomb

Calm down honey
We're yellin' too a plenty
Maybe if we could find
Some way to see it funny

Yes I know it's gone a little too far

Guess I really messed up

If I could only hold onto you

 have them back when you're done busy being angry
I would die if you took too much

I want this to stop I really wanna get off
But my dear priorities, you're top


I love you when you hate my fucking guts

I love you when we're both a little nuts

I'll fight to my death over anything that might kill you

As long as for another day I get to keep you

Twister

[Verse 1]
Ancient wisdom in the lines
I Ching whispers through the times
Quantum dance and Newton's sway
In our minds they find their way

[Reading: Hexagram 20 - Contemplation]
Standing on the sacred ground,
A view so vast, it is profound.
The sage looks out, the world in sight,
Contemplating day and night.

[Verse 2]
Probability reigns so small
Electrons twist in cosmic thrall
Causality seems so clear
But chaos hides in what’s near

[Reading: Line 2 Changing]
Through a window small, you see,
A glimpse of what the truth might be.
Partial view, yet wisdom found,
Contemplation's depth unbound.

[Chorus]
Mystic spaces far and wide
Where the worlds of science glide
Tiny forces shape our view
Big and small they all come through

[Reading: Line 5 Changing]
Look within, the heart's own mirror,
Contemplating self draws nearer.
Life's reflection, actions clear,
Wisdom grows as truths appear.

[Bridge]
Electrochemical sparks ignite
In the brain where thoughts take flight
Networked dreams that intertwine
Large scales sway in ways divine

[Reading: Hexagram 4 - Youthful Folly]
From wisdom's height to folly's call,
The youth in search learns from the fall.
Guidance sought, with heart sincere,
Knowledge grows as paths clear.

[Verse 3]
Roll the dice and read the signs
Randomness in perfect lines
Neurons dance in tangled thread
Casual paths that fate has led

[Reading: Conclusion]
A teacher's guidance, kind yet firm,
In the heart, the lessons burn.
Youthful folly turns to sage,
Growing wise as they age.

[Verse 4]
Big connections
Ripples spread
Universe inside your head
Little changes start the wave
Cascades form the life we crave

[Reading: Conclusion]
From contemplation's lofty view,
To folly's path where wisdom grew.
In harmony with nature's way,
Wu wei guides through night and day.

Mystic Spaces: Twenty to Four

Intro:
In the silence of my thoughts, a spark ignites,
A man, contemplating, begins his plight.
Reflecting on life, choices made,
To embrace masculinity, a path now laid.
But with this choice, comes confusion and pain,
A journey through the mind, a struggle to explain.

Verse 1:
Every time the first time,
Lost, adrift, a mental crime.
Imprint of mankind,
A shadow in my mind.
Why process,
No progress,
Filter better,
Keep together.

Pre-Chorus:
I just wanted to be a man, male, make a choice, have a voice,
See what gender could bring, but now I can't sing,
About anything but the pain of being alone,
With no clear voice or tone... simply alone...
Thinking all that's missing in me is because I wanted to know whyyyy...

Chorus:
Whyyyyy be a man... why be stoic... never show it...
Why misspend youth pretending nothing's good anymore,
Just because of the blatant act of being male.

Verse 2:
Tracks, train: etched inside the brain,
Shut down traffic against the grain.
Seeking source, birth of course,
Paternal unguided emotional force.
No calm in quiet,
No corners to cage,
No keeper to soften,
Peripheral rage.

Chorus:
Whyyyyy be a man... why be stoic... never show it...
Why misspend youth pretending nothing's good anymore,
Just because of the blatant act of being male.

Bridge:
I've pricked the skin, what a sin,
All things undone by the masculine.
In this torrent, flooding feminine,
Solace and salvation is within.
Teach me now,
Show me how,
To love enduring,
Forever moving.

Verse 3:
Unplanned, man came to be,
His eyes too blind with rage.
Now clear, I don't like it here,
But truth, being truth, damn the fear.
No Lion,
No Bear,
Little child,
Receiving little care.

Chorus:
Whyyyyy be a man... why be stoic... never show it...
Why misspend youth pretending nothing's good anymore,
Just because of the blatant act of being male.

Outro:
Forever I will strive to be my own guide,
Covering ground already found.
But in this moment now,
I feel alone.
And
angry,
and
sad,
and
angry,
and
sad,
and
angry,
and
sad,
and
angry,
and
sad.

Pre-Chorus:
I just wanted to be a man, male, make a choice, have a voice,
See what gender could bring, but now I can't sing,
About anything but the pain of being alone,
With no clear voice or tone... simply alone...
Thinking all that's missing in me is because I wanted to know whyyyy...

Chorus:
Whyyyyy be a man... why be stoic... never show it...
Why misspend youth pretending nothing's good anymore,
Just because of the blatant act of being male.

Pretending It's Fine

[Verse]
Raw and unfiltered
Brain of a lizard
Can't pick the right thing
Dripping with old sin

[Verse 2]
Push you to tired
Constantly mired
Let's not discuss it
Keep it all quiet

[Chorus]
Keep it all quiet
My problems basic
But it's a riot
Thought I could face it

[Verse 3]
Epidemic whispers
World getting sicker
Modern life's disease
Sensibility at ease

[Verse 4]
You want a dime
Not from a dozen
One in a hundred
Rare like a gemstone

[Bridge]
Chasing the shadow
Hopes feel so hollow
Silence is golden
When fears are stolen

Worn Out Mind

If I could be a clown for you
make you smile when you are blue
I'd be the happiest clown around

Because 

Making someone you love Smile when they are down
Is about the best thing you can do
When you yourself wanna curl up, hide, and screw around
Escape that pain, escape that noise
Hide from the world like you don't have a choice
Walk on eggshells or get real angry
Well none of that helps when I give it to you
Sometimes all I do is keep making you blue
I just wish I could make you happy
Through and through

Because you're the greatest person to happen to my life
you're a really great and awesome selfless caring kinda wife
and I couldn't ask for any more I daren't say a word
about leavin' you or runnin' scared
Cause my gal my bond is word

So please cheer up, darlin'
Cheer up we are fine
Everything that feels on fire
Is a hundred miles from town

Maybe that's selfish and maybe we'd be better
Carin all the time about every existential problem
But in this moment you're a little out of sort
So come back to earth and let me give you some comfort

If I Could Be A Clown For You

Fragmented Whispers (3)

Fragmented Whispers (2)

Fragmented Whispers (1)

Land

Fragmented Whispers

Project Decoquettes

C. 017

Neural Dream

Afraid No More (1)

Afraid No More

There is no edge.
No line, no seam.
Only a hum between loss and gain,
Grain against grain.

Wind traces patterns unseen,
Bare footsteps in a golden nowhere.
What is?
What was?
A thought rises like heat.
It is not escape.
It is being.

"Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
The words still rise,
Monoliths of stone and sand,
Thrones of ruin and pride's remains.

But the wind knows.
It sands down the letters.
It carries the scrolls of Lao Tzu—
Passed at the gate, unnoticed by men with swords.
Truth surrendered, not claimed.
Not built to last,
But left to flow.

The guards never knew.
The wind never cared.
And still it sings—
Even now.

There is no monument.
No foundation.
Only words left like footprints
Where the tide will reach.

The wise make no claim.
They are the space between stones,
The empty bowl,
The still water.

Count and direction remain,
But not the counters.
Not the walkers.

And we stand here, too.
Not kings,
Not poets—
Just watchers.

Watching the wind take what was built.
Watching the earth return what was claimed.
And knowing...

There is no edge.
No line, no seam.
Only a hum,
And the empty bowl—

Waiting to be filled.

Albert Stichka

Pinned to spotlight

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