In this clip, Dr. Ellis discusses emotive techniques for forcefully disputing irrational beliefs and developing rational coping statements. One technique includes rational emotive imagery, in which the individual practices changing one's unhealthy emotions to healthy emotions through imagery. Other techniques include listening and rehearsing coping statements and practicing unconditional self and other acceptance.

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How to Deal with Difficult People

In this excerpt, Dr. Ellis is explaining the connection between one’s beliefs and emotional consequences, which is also referred to as the “B-C” connection. It is what we tell ourselves about events that will lead to either an unhealthy emotion or a healthy emotion. Moreover, an individual’s emotional reaction can change instantly when their beliefs regarding the event changes. Thus, individuals may have different reactions to the same situation, due to their unique philosophy and beliefs. Even though one may experience numerous events that shape their life philosophy, it is also in one’s control to change these beliefs and their resulting emotional reaction.

Theory and Practice of RET

The REBT Community: A SWOT analysis. Kristene Doyle, Ph.D in conversation with Windy Dryden, Ph.D

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The REBT Community: A SWOT analysis

Anger: Raymond DiGiuseppe, Ph.D in conversation with Windy Dryden, Ph.D

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Anger with Raymond DiGiuseppe, Ph.D and Windy Dryden, Ph.D

REBT Research: Daniel David, Ph.D in conversation with Windy Dryden, Ph.D

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REBT Research with Daniel David, Ph.D and Windy Dryden, Ph.D

Dear me, love me.... A new insight to Valentines Day.
By Leonard Citron

The name “valentine”, derives from the latin valens, meaning worthy, strong and powerful. It’s a wonder then that these are three of the most unlikely feelings we find ourselves grappling with if we are single on valentines day.

I should be in a relationship, It’s awful that I’m not, everyone else in on a date tonight – each of them is happy and I’m the only one feeling sad and alone with an empty mailbox, what does that say about me? I cant tolerate these feelings!!

Do these negative thoughts ring a bell? Singletons may have these thoughts now and then but they are often amplified around St valentines day. These thoughts, however, are distorted, based on irrational assumptions and nothing but unhelpful. Is there a chance you’re overgeneralizing and mind reading, when you assume that everyone else is dating and, further, that they are all happy? Bottom line, You are assigning worth to yourself based on whether or not you have a valentine. Does it make sense that You rate yourself on what is really just a Hallmark holiday?

These self destructive negative thoughts are unhealthy, and unhelpful in our search for worthiness and strength. It’s an example of us only finding value in ourselves from external things. The more we seek validation externally, the more vulnerable we leave ourselves to feeling upset. Grasping this key factor can help you escape from the negative cycle.

How do you think you would feel if you accepted yourself? Give it a try and I think you might find it quite liberating. Self acceptance from within is what we really need for valens – to feel worthy strong and powerful. With the negative thoughts out of the way and a newfound sense of worthiness and strength, you’ll be better positioned to meet your match. Happy Valentines!

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