Screaming at myself

I'm a grown-ass man and I'm screaming at myself
all alone in the room, don't you think it helps?
gonna howl at the walls so my neighbors hear it all

I'm a grown-ass man and I'm wailing at the wind
pick a fight with the floor, do you think I'll win?
That's the way that I vent, don't you think it makes sense?

My anger builds up all day.
like a souped up, cooped up party
Not really quite sure if it harms me

Where it comes from, hell if I know.
Whatever it is, it's primal  
Learned it sometime as a child
 
screaming at myself 

I'm a grown-ass man and I'm grinding on my teeth
picking at my nails on my hands and feet
I can stop any time, I guess it's up to me

I'm a grown-ass man and I'm crying for my mom
Cut me up into pieces, make a happy collage
Is this a good look for me? Will it get me a job?

This sadness builds up all day
Like a souped-up, cooped-up party
Not really quite sure if it harms me

Where it comes from, hell if I know.
Whatever it is, it's primal
Carried with me since I was a child

screaming at myself 

I'm a grown-ass man, what have I become?
Was I born from the sky? Did I come from the sun?
Where the hell will I go when all is said and done?

 I'm a grown-ass man but I feel like a boy
Every single day I'll try to fill a void
Occupy my time with things I say I enjoy

This rage can build up all day 
like a souped up, cooped up party
Not really quite sure if it harms me

Where it comes from, hell if I know.
Whatever it is, it's primal  
Learned it sometime as a child

Screaming At Myself

Caffeine

Am I awake? Is this a dream?
I'll find the answer on my screen when I refresh my feed.
How are you? Did you say you're feeling alright today?
Baby, that's just great! 

What's your secret? Share the wealth
Can we eat the rich and always be in perfect health?
Let's give it just a little more time
If time is all we have, then baby, that's just fine!

Let's stare at the wall for a couple of hours
And work today will probably do itself.
This caffeine and sugar give me super powers.
And doing nothing makes me overwhelmed.

Are you in love with your dreams?
Or is it that you've never seen this side of me? 
I can hear a ringing from within my bones
It will echo into infinity.

Let it be as it will.
If the wind blows the house down, then we can chill.
Let the fires stoke all summer long.
And the world moves on 
It's such a beautiful song. 

Let's stare at the wall for a couple of hours
And work today will probably do itself.
This caffeine and sugar give me super powers.
And doing nothing makes me overwhelmed.

Caffeine

It just moves on

Did they push to fly to the sun 
though they knew that it would burn?
invite you to the game and
never let you take your turn?
Did they promise paradise 
if only you gave it your all?
Did they ship your job away and
tell you it was all your fault?

But life won't wait 
for you to feel OK
It just moves on

Can you tell a truth from a lie?
Will the wind then carry our cries?
The water is cursed and the earth is broken
but fire was put on earth to be stolen.

Did they beg you to come over 
to repair after the storm?
Did they take your chance away
Simply 'cause of where you were born?
Did you plant your seeds all at once
'cause they promised it would rain?
Did they steal your children away 
and then give you all the blame?

But life won't wait 
for you to feel OK
It just moves on.

Teachers, nurses, or caregivers
watch the eagles eat your livers.
Words are silver and silence is golden
and fire was put on earth to be stolen

Did they take your family and
put them right on the front lines?
Did they murder them in cold blood
and scold you for causing crimes?
Did they sell you trash and then
expect you to turn it to gold?
Are they always listening yet
force you to do as you're told?

But life won't wait 
for you to feel OK
It just moves on.

It Just Moves On

Cloud Break

What can I tell you that you haven't yet already heard?
Maybe it's meaningless or maybe it is all absurd 

We'll have to say goodbye one day
I'm very grateful either way 

sometimes bitter sweet
it's not up to me
sometimes it's your heart
sometimes it's clouds that break

Like flowers in bloom
or phases of the moon
sometimes it's your heart 
sometimes it's clouds that break 

I know what you mean when you tell me that you're feeling down
Will you believe me when I say that I still want you around?

What can I tell you that you haven't yet already seen?
Just stick around and pay attention, then you'll know what I mean. 

I know I'll miss it in the end
I'm so glad you're all my friends 

sometimes bitter sweet
it's not up to me
sometimes it's your heart
sometimes it's clouds that break

Like flowers in bloom
or phases of the moon
sometimes it's your heart 
sometimes it's clouds that break

Cloud Break

Violet dreams are clinging to our skin 
I see your face turn toward the shadows
The dry whispers sing around us as we sleep
Listen too long and they'll never let us go

There is a light on the horizon
Breathe in deeply and let go
I promise I'll be there to catch you if you're falling.
Hold my hand and you will know, my baby

We lose track of every single day.  
Already the future's here to take us.
Was it this year, or maybe the ones that came before?
If we're dreaming please don't wake us. 

There is a light on the horizon
Breathe in deeply and let go
I promise I'll be there to catch you if you're falling.
Hold my hand and you will know, my baby

Violet Dreams

That's when the sun comes up  

There's a moment I have when I reach my end 
Not a matter of “if,” but a matter of “when” 
When I hide in the shadows like a skulking ghost in a haunted house That's when the sun comes up and the light shines in  

When the cold morning air freezes at my bones 
And the demons of the night start to rattle and moan 
When the pulse in my heart begs to stop and my body wants to just give in 
That's when the sun comes up and the light shines in  

When I'm left in the dark with these thoughts that I've made 
When the echos in the room are banshee parade 
When I arrive at the front of the line and the end is about to begin That's when the sun comes up and the light shines in  

This goddamn light at the end of the night 
nothing is alright but it feels nice  

There's a moment I have when I reach my end
 A repeated conversation with a long lost friend
 One loser to another, I swear on my mother - brother, can I get a win? 
That's when the sun comes up and the light shines in

That's When The Sun Comes Up

I like to write songs and record them at home.
All songs are written, produced, recorded, mixed, and mastered by me.
Thank you for listening! Please stay safe and take care of one another!

-Alec

Alec Venida

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