Wake up! (Oh precious, your thoughts are consuming my fucking mind!)
I tried! I tried, but it’s too late to die! (It’s gone! It’s all fucking gone!)
Leave me alone… just leave me alone…. 
(I can’t let go I just miss you so much. I can’t let go)
How can you miss what never even happened? (No one fucking understands!)
Kill yourself. (I can’t…. I can’t let go… I’m not strong enough…)
Save me… somebody fucking save me…
Regret…. 

You will never know the complexities of the human soul
No, you will never know the monstrosities of a mangled heart
A connection shared which was never meant to come so close
in a sad affair which was never meant to have a start 
No, You will never know what it is to lay in bed
with your eyes wide open, paralyzed, 
seeing the stars create the night,
wanting to shake, wanting to cry
You’ll never know what it is like inside my head
where my worst nightmares are fantasies
where all that’s real becomes a dream
and all I feel is gradually
taking over reality… you must be dead
for there’s a ghost inside of me

What have I done?!
What have you done?!
What have we done?!
It’s all been done to us….

Playing with someone’s insecurities is as low as you can go
You can do what you can to cure disease but the world will only show
that the mind is but a wasteland and the nature of the heart
is to purify the taste and to tear the mind apart, (you’re tearing my mind apart!)
devouring what we can do and everything that we can say.
There’s nothing left for us to prove, for suffering will have its way

So, Darling, take this hallowed vine and suspend them all from their fucking necks
So, Angel, take this hand of mine and pretend to fall from within our chests

Yes, fall so far and sink so deep (into memories),
for all we are and all we’ll be (for eternity),
is matching scars and frozen feet. (No, we couldn’t see…)
this was the start of tragedy…
It comes in sleep, invades our dreams, and makes us weak.
The tragedy of fantasy is destiny. 

What have I done?!
What have you done?!
What have we done?!
It’s all been done to us….
Turn the page and grab your pen
It’s time for this to have an end
It’s not too late to rewrite fate
My love, I’ll be with you again
My heart is yours but not for this life
Time closed the door and there’s no goodbyes.
So we made some wrong choices
and we kept to the silence
and we listened to the voices
and gave into the violence
As we tortured ourselves, we became tired and lost
and our paths grew distant, and believed never to cross
Never would I have thought that it would end up like this:
Two souls tragically caught within a desolate twist,
Still searching for the one who would finally understand
While their hearts are undone by the cruel hand of chance.   

What have I done?!
What have you done?!
What have we done?!
It’s all been done to us….

So, Darling, take this hallowed vine
So, Angel, take this hand of mine
Yes, fall so far and sink so deep
for all we are and all we’ll be is a tragedy
So, Darling, take this hallowed vine
So, Angel, take this hand of mine
Yes, fall so far and sink so deep
for all we are and all we’ll be is a memory
and all we’ll be is a fantasy
and all we’ll be is another broken dream…


Another Broken Dream (Vocal Demo)

A recording of the beginning of the prologue of Testament Part Three: The Tragedy of Fantasy. 


TRANSCRIPT: [Every year, it's the same story- the same cycle of dreams versus reality. As the dream becomes more tangible, reality slips from my grasp. This imbalance brings the tide of chaos ever close, until my life is swept away in its current. You were a cipher: a ray of light in an otherwise dismal plane of existence, as if fate itself was beckoning- cramming my soul into its tunnel of perception, rendering reality a nightmare and this dream a waking state that I'm desperate to reach, before my mind crumbles and I am lost to oblivion. I drown myself in a wonderland of euporic psychosis, for it is the only way to hold on to the memory. It's as if we have both crawled out of hell- you though one door, and I though another- only to end up on opposite sides of a mirror, where we wander aimlessly in parallel dimensions, searching for an answer, for each other, only to find a corrupted reflection of what we imagined. In this world of demons and scars, you are an Angel that I long to be touched by once more, but will never meet again. If I could, I would drop everything and run away with you to the ends of the Universe. But, would you even know? Would you even remember, as I do? No. Though you struggle as I do, you posses only questions, where I hold the tragic answers in my unwavering gaze at the horizon. You can never accept the answer, for you can never accept yourself, or the fatal destiny which your existence plays in this fragile Universe. Who am I to bequeath such a heavy burden on the one being that I loved through so many lives, in so many millenniums and dimensions? It is not my place to place this fate in your graceful hands. It is only yours to accept it, and I cannot wish that upon you without great remorse. Instead, I continue to allow us both to pretend we are but wild sheep, refusing to be herded, yet dying for purpose. As much as I try, my love for you cannot and will not ever fade. That is my burden to bear, and I shall continue to bear it well. ]



Prologue: An Angel in a World of Demons and Scars

TRANSCRIPT: [The time is unknown to me. I’ve been stuck in this god forsaken cell for days, or what at least seem like days, now, and I’m surprised to not feel frightened, but rather… bored. It is quite the phenomenon how one’s sins always seem to catch up to him, no matter how far he is to run in the opposite direction. Still, I might face atonement for these acts, but it is those which I love, and those of their lineage, that will pay the ultimate price. See, it has occurred to me that I cannot ever be truly forgiven, not in this life time or the next, for those which I try so desperately to protect are helpless. I will die soon, that much is certain, but my curse, my disease, will live on and it will plague the minds, bodies, and spirits of what means most to me in the entire universe.    		
The hunger is always there, and it will persist to seek satisfaction from them, and I can never stop it. It is immortal. As of now, I have not yet read anything hinting that this curse is even known about. So, either I am simply a unique case, or else it has been kept a secret. This being so, I am afraid I must discover a solution on my own, before it is too late.  Although there is no written works to be found, I speculate that this can only be the cause of some intensely dark, horrific, form of witchcraft. 
	Seeing as I am certain to be condemned within the week, I suppose it is only fitting to include my will on this filthy piece of parchment. However, I have nothing to give, and unless there is truly a God, and he can work some sort of miraculous sequence of events, it burdens me to say that, in the end, there will not be a sole to bequeath to. 
	At a loss for words, there is only one thing worth writing, and I am disappointed that I had not given this more thought. I blindly assumed that I would live a long and prosperous life, only to die with a mere thirty-eight years to show for myself. It is not often that one is given the opportunity to choose his last words, so I must consider them carefully.  
Until then, I suppose I can muster a parting desire. The spared lives of my family seems much too impractical with the circumstances at hand, so I must think of something else, although this is what I want more than anything in the world. Yes, that is it! My parting desire is as follows: I wish for my curse to be annihilated so that it may never infect another human being with its impetuous talent for manipulating the mind, body, and spirit as a vessel to commit its unforgivable deeds. If this is questionable, then I implore the stars to illuminate the hearts of the future races of humanity in such a way that they may unlock the methods necessary to fight this curse! Yes, to discover its vile origins and send it back where it came from!
Alas, the world has not been blessed with such knowledge. Perhaps that is the truth of it all. Humanity is simply not allowed to meddle in the secrets of the Universe. If this be the case, then it is truly a shame. If this be the case, then perhaps it is better to be ignorant than to question, for, if this is truly the case, then all knowledge is fickle- relevant only until proven otherwise by common belief, which has proven to be even more indecisive. 
Ah! I have it! My final words are these: “If life is fickle, then pray death is also, for nothing so crucial deserves to be so worthlessly predictable.”]

Last Words

Fit To Be Torn

LYRICS:

You
I miss you
Come back to me
Come back to me

You
I love you
Come back to me
Or I will bleed
All this shit from my wrist
Can’t tell hit from miss
Cause I’ve become
This has made me numb

Let the blood drain from my neck
I don’t know you yet

You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being
You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being

Cause it’s so dark down there
And I get sick down there
In the depths of despair

How can I love you?
How can I miss you?
When you want to fucking kill me?
I don’t want to bleed out my life tonight
Please save me
Do you even care for me?

I wont let you (Wont let you kill me)
I wont let this be the end
I wont let you (Wont let you kill me)
This time I wont die my friend

So give it up
And shut your fucking mouth
Please shutup
What is all of this about?
Do you even know?
I didn’t think so
So please wont you go?
And find a different home?
Leave me alone to cry in a corner

When everything seems
Like your life is ending
Remember good times
Don’t ever ask why
You even exist
You will get through this
I promise you’ll be okay
You’ll live anotherday

Even if it feels you are dying
It is okay if you’re crying
Promise you’ll try
To let it all pass by
And that you can handle this from now on

In the depths of despair
Nothing can repair
Your soul except for you
Promise you will pull through

You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being

Cause it’s so dark down there
And I get sick down there
In the depths of despair 
Cause it’s so dark down there
And I get sick down there
In the depths of despair
Cause it’s so dark down there
And I get sick down there
In the depths of despair

You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being 
You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being
You wont take me down with you
To the underneath of my being

You (Cause it’s so dark down there)
Wont (And I get sick down there)
Take me down with you (In the depths of despair)
To the underneath (In the depths of despair)
Of my being (Nothing can repair) 
You (Cause it’s so dark down there)
Wont (And I get sick down there)
Take me down with you (In the depths of despair)
To the underneath (In the depths of despair)
Of my being (Nothing can repair)
You (Cause it’s so dark down there)
Wont (And I get sick down there)
Take me down with you (In the depths of despair)
To the underneath (In the depths of despair)
Of my being (Nothing can repair your soul)

Oh!
Go!

This is the end of my life
What if we just died?
Would you come see me?
Would come heal me?
Would you free me?
Would you steal me?
Would you?
Would you?
Would steal my soul?
My soul!
My soul!

the-tragedy-of-fantasy-379.tumblr.com
facebook.com/witchs.strain
facebook.com/alex.evyan.halter
witchs.strain@gmail.com

Alex Halter- Desperation

Artist: Witch's Strain
Album: Underneath Our Beings (ep) Vocal Demos
Track 1: Love You to The Death of Us in 2009

LYRICS:
When you have no home
When you have no family
And when you’re alone
Please just come find me

I will take care of you
I will take care of you
Please don’t ever leave
Unless you have to
Unless you have to die
And even then
I’ll keep you here with me
I’ll be crying (I’ll be crying)
Over your dead body

The nights are so long
Without you here
And when every song
Replaces a tear
It’s hard no to sing
Please come back to me

I will take care of you
I will take care of you
Please don’t ever leave
Unless you have to
Unless you have to die
And even then
I’ll keep you here with me
I’ll be crying (I’ll be crying)
Over your dead body

I will take care of you
I will take care of you
Please don’t ever leave
Unless you have to
Unless you have to die
And even then
I’ll keep you here with me
I’ll be crying (I’ll be crying)
Over your dead body
Over your dead body
Over your dead body

Nothing will erase my love for you
Nothing will erase my love for you

I will love you until my death
I’ll love you untill my last breath
I will love you until my death
I’ll love you untill my last breath

You can’t take me
Down with you to
The underneath
Of my being

Let go of me 
So I can catch you as I fall


Love You To The Death Of Us In 2009

(Excuse me for being horrible at rapping. It's not my forte.... or my style... but it was unavoidable)

Taking Lyfe From Me (A Shitty Drunk Cover of the Acoustic Version)

Suicide

The songs "Mirrors and Cherished Memories" and Blind from the album "In the Depths of Despair Part Two: Heiros Gamos"

Pseudologia Fantastica Part 2: Heiros Gamos

Mirrors and Cherished Memories with Blind

I've made some wrong choices while finding myself, 
and heaven seems boring when you've been to hell, 
but I've shed my skin, and I don't care if it's real
or if it's fiction, as long as i feel
like my scars might just heal and the flesh might just peel
away and begin to reveal the innocence that was sealed
beneath everything that i have witnessed
and everything I wished would happen.
Of all the scenes that I have written, 
this is probably the sole distraction
from all the chaos, pain and grievance-
the hopelessness that I believed in. 
I've talked of things I couldn't bear, and couldn't live without,
but now, it seems, that life goes on, and there's less to write about.

The drama's all naive and politics is a disease,
observed by a media that only says what it needs
to keep the world on its knees and some cash of the streets.
How can they help over seas, while everyone at home bleeds?

We can't afford to keep on living. We can't afford to stop the breathing.
We can't afford to keep on dying. We can't afford to stop the bleeding.

Stop complaining. Rise up with me.
The world must burn. Start with this city. 
I thought I knew where I was going,
but fate had different plans.

So strike the match. I'll burn the pages of my past,
rewrite the script, and never look back. 
I'm leaving this town tonight, and all that i leave behind
will decorate the sky with ash. This is my last goodbye, tonight.
There is nothing here for me to regard with fear and loathing.
Not a single tear will show me something worth endearing memories.

I will fill my head with pills until i may forget
the ill regrets for killing helpless silhouettes
of still corpses spilling their death.
It chills my breath to drill these holes into my chest.
The illusions are brilliant, gushing forth through the holes,
leaving me in peace. Alone, 
I rest and writhe out of control. 
I rest despite my empty soul.
I want it back. My fantasy is all there ever was of me. 
I can't forget. There's something missing. 
Shut your fucking mouth and kiss me.
Replace the emptiness with bliss. We
Don't have enough time for misery.

I can't afford to stop the breathing. 
I can't afford to stop the bleeding. 

Something's missing. Take my mind.
No one's listening. Take my flesh.
Something's missing. Take my life.
No one's listening. Take my death.

Burn me in the fire. Drown me in the lake.
If i should expire, my soul is your's to take. 
I cannot stop the breathing. This life is now my curse.
I cannot stop the bleeding. It's getting so much worse.
So tie me up with canvas. Throw me in a cell.
They can't repair the damage. They say I'm far from help.
I don't know who I am. I think I've lost myself. 
Leave me to rot. My soul is damned. I'm going back to hell. 

I thought I knew where I was going,
but fate had different plans.

So strike the match. I'll burn the pages of my past,
rewrite the script, and never look back. 
I'm leaving this town tonight, and all that i leave behind
will decorate the sky with ash. This is my last goodbye, tonight.

We can't afford to keep on living. We can't afford to stop the breathing.
We can't afford to keep on dying. We can't afford to stop the bleeding.
We can't afford to keep on living. We can't afford to stop the breathing.
We can't afford to keep on dying. We can't afford to stop the bleeding.

So strike the match. I'll burn the pages of my past,
rewrite the script, and never look back. 
I'm leaving this town tonight, and all that i leave behind
will decorate the sky with ash. This is my last goodbye, tonight. 

Tonight I'll burn the pages of my past.
Rewrite the script. Rewrite the script. 
Tonight i'll burn the pages of my past.
Rewrite the script. Rewrite the script. 
Tonight I'll burn the pages of my past. 
Tonight I'll burn the pages. 
Rewrite the script. Rewrite the script. 
Tonight I'll burn the pages of my past. 
Tonight I'll burn. Tonight I'll burn in hell.

Alex Evyan Halter

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