I had trouble sleeping, so  I wrote a song about it.
Produced by Michael Anthony
Artwork by Brian O' Connor

Mattress

This was supposed to be a fictional story about some dude getting to know some chick with depression. I never finished it though. Ayy. 

The beat is Exile's "Love Line" beat.

Love Line (Unfinished)

This one is about having anxiety around people.
-------
I can’t speak – but my mind flows quickly
I’m fine though, except for that my minds so sickly.
Sitting silent. Thoughts getting wild as the night’s spent
trying to find a remedy to get me out of my head.
But it’s hard - when I’m focusing my breaths.
Holding these emotions ‘til they’re blowing up my chest,
an explosion full of notions that I hopelessly possess.
I wish that we could talk without me going through this stress.
Wish I was more open when I’m smoking with my friends.
Wish I didn’t feel like I was broken or a mess.
I’m stuck in a state of “I’m just too afraid to say shit”.
I’m sure your party’s fun, but I’ll probably never make it.
I wish for once that I could have a soul so naked
that I wouldn’t be ashamed of, and would never have to fake it.
But it’s wrapped up and secured by insecurities…
To the point I think it hurts to speak.
 
I have so many colors and they’re floating through my headspace
And I wish that you could see em, but they’re stuck inside this headspace.

Thoughts On Pluto

This a collection of songs that my good friend Jasper and I made back in 2010 when I was young and in love.

My Valentine (feat. Bravado)

The Girl In My Wallet

Dreams Of Amber

The Ugly Song

This one is a cover of Louis Logic's "The Great Divide". Check out the original, it's really good.

The Great Divide

The Pretty Song

beat by C Y G N
----
Spent my time vibing in and out of oceans.
Learned to breathe, but now I live without emotions.
You were the sea that I was swimming out and floating in
but never saw the land, so we could never feel the roses.
My heart is where your ghost is -
stuck in an afterlife of long days,
stuck in a never ending dark night;
every inch of frostbite is worth the couple hours that we stargaze.
I’m just missing being visionless to bad thoughts.
I’m a lover, I’m a fucker, I’m a sad song.
 I’ll keep strutting through these puddles ‘til I can’t walk.
Trade my heart of gold for a watch and a glass jaw.
“You look pretty with your mask off”
They say you're shitty in a city full of past wrongs.
I say you can’t fall;
I say they can’t talk.
Let’s hit the spliff and get to sippin’ til we’re half gone,
but let’s never reminisce on who we used to be.
Why do people wait to show love at the eulogy?
Why do people have to throw mud where there’s beauty?
See there’s more to your human than the world wants to truly speak.
Remember, you illuminate dark.
Some won’t get the picture, but it’s you that paints the art.
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning, I know you do too...
we’re all fucked up, baby, but that’s beautiful.

Swim

Artwork by Brian O'Connor (https://www.instagram.com/theonlybriman/)
beat by KEEF
------
weather's nice, but i'm keeping inside
with my mind in the clouds where my feelings reside
live another daydream sequence of mine
where i seek and then find love by a tree in the sky
find a little happy in the lilies and the daffodils
maybe find a peace of mind if i have it still
i’ve just gotta leave behind what is tragic -
a goodbye to the sad, til i'm high over magic hills.
a lack of thrills keeps the heart lonely,
i'd rather catch some feels just to keep my thoughts glowing.
my looking glass is filled with an image so cozy
that is tinted so rosy. i am lifted - i'm floating
(floating...floating...floating) 
into outer space
it's full of indigos, violets, and gamma rays
i take a visit to mars -- whisper wishes to stars,
and blow a kiss to the farthest part of galaxies.
i can tell by the echoes that I'm far away,
but the colors in the sky keep my mind at bay.
eyes painted by the shine of a brighter day
rain couldn't wash away the stains of the art it made
fade away into a technicolor fantasy
rainbows dripping drops of pigment to reality  
gone are the nightmares, step into this dreamscape
we can row a boat there, life is but a dream state
drop a tab a laughter on your tongue
let the feeling capture every gap inside your lungs
shooting constellations out the barrel of a gun
spelling “i am more than just a body orbiting than sun”

We Are Stardust

Also available on Spotify & Apple Music
produced by me
-------------
If I could rip my heart out, and drop it down a well
It wouldn’t sink as deep as when you caught me with your spell
Let’s let it drown. ‘Cause with it I’ve been only living hell
where I’m dancing with the devil but I’ll never kiss and tell.
I’ve been sick of sentimentals. Quick to press the pedal
and fall apart like the petals on a flower that I let go
My chest is like a cave, and my pulse just never settles
And my body and my brain stop to shower in the echoes
...I need a breather…
I need to feel like a piece of me has decency, or make believe it’s real
Fantasies of vacancy, I dream to never feel
or live a life of love and loss that keeps my heart from beating still
I need my thoughts to keep it down
‘Cause honestly my consciousness is loud and all it does is feed me doubts
Constantly I find I feel I need to be alone
But still I’d hardly call my solitude a home.


I just wanna go. To a place oh to a place I’ve never known.
Where all the weight, yeah all the weight’s forever gone
Where I’m feeling less insane when I’m alone
I just wanna go. To a place oh to a place I’ve never known.
Where all the weight, yeah all the weight’s forever gone
Where I don’t have to hideaway into a song

Breather

Had a couple notions that I scribbled into my skin...
Stings a little, but I had no other options.
I wear them like the sleeves that I keep my little heart in,
but hide inside the pile of leaves I fall in.
You feel just like the autumn. You feel like the foliage.
You catch me with your colors, then you leave me in the cold again.
You're all I've ever thought of. I'm sinking to the floor,
I drink a little more cause I'm thinking up a storm again.
Wishing for a way that I could astral project.
Get me out of my body, phase passed the regret.
Get me out of your bed, we ain't even slept. 
Get me out of your head, I think it's best you forget.
Could've sworn I've seen a sparkle in your two eyes,
or maybe I was too high...maybe it was moonlight.
Looking for a balance in your gravity to grab hold
before I'm just a planet that has vanished in your black hole

Please don't go.
I'm seeing stars above,
it's late, I know
I just need your love

You told me that you loved me. I told you that was funny.
No wonder why you're running. No wonder why I'm standing,
and I'm sorry, and I'm swimming, and I'm drowning in this passion
that I've held behind this mask and every laugh to hide the panic.
Your words have been nothing but a drug.
Are you fucking with my head, or am I fucking with your buzz?
We're drunk enough to fuck, but are we dumb enough to love?
Are you kissing on my neck, or are you sucking out my blood?
I got lost plucking petals off a compass rose,
"she loves me, she loves me not",  dying for some clarity.
Felt you in my soft spot only months ago,
was yearning for your touch, but now I'm searching for some therapy.
This eye contact has me falling from the sky,
and it gives me so much pain I think it makes me feel alive,
so I went and lost my damn mind. Half blind, 
slow dancing with our past, tiptoeing passed the landmines.

Please don't go.
I'm seeing stars above,
it's late, I know
I just need your love

Autumn Bones (feat. buttoneyes)

Indie rapper from Lowell Mass. For the romantics, the introspective, and the sleepyheads.

blanky

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