Memory Leak

Visuals

𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑲

when you think of me
who do you see
how will these mistakes
shape our memories

drifting further from myself as i wake up
distracting from this mess as a hope to break out
never stop moving
so ill never stay the same (x2)

main guitar by https://soundcloud.com/stefan-tantana-519343689

drift

wrote and recorded this in an hour, wasnt planning on releasing the audio only without the video but here it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpMb4qJNYsk

when did i get so scared of sleeping
ive been doing it all my life
when did i get so terrified of falling asleep
afraid i might break
i dont want you to leave my side

cantsleep

music video

cantsleep (visuals)

ive become aquainted well with the morning sun
well maybe all of this aint quite so bad
glancing at your sleeping face makes me feel so excited
about whats next to come past these fleeting moments

is this what you felt?
is this what you felt?
is this what you felt when you gushed about
watching clouds go by before the first train in the morning

take me by the hand

take me by the hand (demo)

who's gonna hold my hand while i google symptoms (slowed and reverbed)

past nights you kept me up
talking endlessly
hands held intertwined
skipping school
with you

past nights you kept me up
talking endlessly
cling to me
dont drift apart
keep your gentle heart
x2

come on lets go out
throw paint on walls
tag our dms in concrete malls
pet all the dogs and jump in puddles
make flower crowns, catch dreams and cuddles

could you maybe care less?
confess, that we're best friends
deep breath, cigarettes cluttering our hands
same clouds under the same sky, we'll be fine
cling to me
dont drift apart
keep your gentle heart!

Gentle heart

i'm sure you finally moved out
i hope some of the things i bought for you
a while ago
still found their way to you

tried to break off contact
she asked if i was free
busy getting carried away
filling gaps in history
never learned how to like someone
just throw them in the attic
the dust will suit me well

we used to hold up traffic
not fond of letting go
your body always said 
"no way, it's way too cold"

care package

clay figure

hey june
we both got here early again
and im fumbling to get
my hair back to my bed hair
june please dont hold my hand
i want to stop worrying
if this is as good as its gonna get

whats holding us back?
all of our old friends keep asking about us
whats it like for you?
can i be the green tea in the morning
instead of the cold sweat on your face
can we catch a break this time we've learned from mistakes
just lay down on the grass like we used to
and we still do

never meant tuning, capo 3

June

caught a glance
across the rails
heart didnt drop as much as the last time
knees shaking but i didnt feel my guts spill out
 
i still hear we talk the same way so maybe
yeah maybe you wont mind if i just say hi next time

(hi)

https://youtu.be/lPFOaRA-Tmw

i'm only photogenic in the pictures you took

your arms are my cocoon cover, please support their music
here is the original: https://soundcloud.com/ylerdom/03-in-october-of-2019-i-called

i hope i can grab a cassette soon

In October Of 2020 I Realized I Never Had A Place To Call Home To Begin With

super-glued to the feeling
that no matter how kind
i will become
how much i wail in regret
it will never ever excuse
my mistakes

when i chat with you i just want to hear you understand
i know my voice was never that pretty
though it might feel like you hold me hostage (all the time)
it might be better this way

oh, i just wanna be held

cant wear myself down for such stupid reasons anymore
youre another me with all the good parts
and mishaps all intact

i want to say it again
my grip isn't something i could fix with something as simple as a sorry

just so terrified of losing everything again 
once i let loose it'll all move apart
like with everyone else whose faces are etched into the back of my eyes
while i stayed nothing but a messed up canvas of their past life

hostage

so i unpacked
the bag of clothes
i prepared
in case id have to go
to the hospital
(im not going anywhere)

spring is over now
and its hard to stay in frame
with all my faults
always in plain sight
(let me hide here for a little while)

it gets so hard to breathe sometimes
and it hurts to have to say no
(i'd just rather go home)

i once thought
life will guide me through
and teach me all i need to know
(but it wont)

missing out

this was never the way i planned
not my intention
i got so brave
drink in hand
lost my descretion

i kissed a girl and i liked it 
the taste of her cherry chapstick
i kissed a girl just to try it
i hope my best friend doesnt mind it
it felt so wrong
it felt so right
dont mean im in love tonight
i kissed a girl and i liked it 

i liked it

i kissed a girl (cover)

but you know,
i'm there for you

i'll be there
for you

sweet echo

a little piece on not feeling welcome in your own home

chew the inside
of my mouth 
just to make
the time pass

never tried
to ponder the feelings
of dreaming
on this bed 
made out of so many 
nails

nails

i used to be so scared of spiders but then i
grew up and got my own place
daydreams of meeting many new people
letting friends stay the night
watch movies and play games
but i guess daydreams rarely happen for real
let the dust settle in the safe space meant to heal

impatience is weighing on me more than it ever did
lead me to a place with your hand in mine, 
don't keep my mind wandering

so ive been busy counting the spiders, they dont surprise me anymore
and i got dust bunnies to keep me warm at night

will you keep me by your side when we reunite?

healing properties

came crashing thru ur boundaries
confused friendship with tug of war

as much as i tried
i dont think ive treated you right

so let me be the one
to build up a wall
its fine if we catch up again
once in a while

i never had the kindest eyes
a little souvenier of some terrible years

cant get rid of the worried looks
that keep staring back at me 
through every mirror that sees me

back+forth

VISUALS:

Tracklist:
01. August Burns Red - Mariana Trench (midi cover by Mads Kvols)

02. alex seibel .°☆ - Gentle heart
https://soundcloud.com/alexseibelorsomething/gentle-heart

03. alex seibel .°☆ - ID

04. alex seibel .°☆ - clay figure (Immy's "Clay Fighter" Bootleg)
https://soundcloud.com/ozoneimogen/clayfighter

05. user-177606669 - brixton bullies (alex's .°☆ drumstep edit)
https://soundcloud.com/user-177606669/brixton-bullies-drumstep-edit

06. dorencore - flower power
https://soundcloud.com/dorencore/flower-power

07. user-788567091 - br8znhvmbkaq
https://soundcloud.com/user-788567091/br8znhvmbkaq

08. E+E - dreaming (seaplanes edit)

09. user-177606669 - caring is punk 
https://soundcloud.com/user-177606669/caring/s-6RyyjdIAH7u

10. alex seibel .°☆ - ID

11. alex seibel .°☆ - june
https://soundcloud.com/alexseibelorsomething/june

VISUALS

alex seibel .°☆ @ Scary Fest 2

been running in circles
but i'll keep going till my lungs give out
we both know i just wanted to be a little bit closer
a little closer
just a dream drop away from a piece of your smile now
wondering when youre gonna be mine
(i want to break out)
dreams catching up to my mind now
lets slow down

next time 
teach me more about this love you love so much
i always feel so ashamed, when i just want to be kind

JUST TALK

is what i always tell myself, my former shell
so many twists and turns in my bed, on my shoulder 
making me second guess so well

just talk, talk, talk–
just talk
just talk, talk, talk–
just talk

written and recorded on the 26th of november 2022

play talk

made a little beat

visuals:  https://youtu.be/lT7VR6wWBqI

free download and better version: https://alexseibel.bandcamp.com/track/sakura-dreams

Thank you @kore-wa-hentai for giving me the idea through a tweet.

Sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svu4wvWdHwY

picture credit: http://miiruhi.deviantart.com/art/Chitoge-Kirisaki-464985723

Sakura Dreams

visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUjuzhKf04k

blooming

Would love to have vocals on this but i couldn't think of any lyrics and it's not really in my vocal range i think so please hit me up if you know anyone who'd want to sing on this

youtube upload: https://youtu.be/R2ESCPHEHJM

haze

Haze

i suck and naming songs but whatever it's 6am and i want to die real bad so does it even matter

picture is a thing a friend of mine sent me on swapdoodle
(@babygeist on instagram and twitter)

i wish it was easier to go to sleep

i wish it was easier to fall asleep

cover art by https://www.instagram.com/babygeist
bandcamp upload: https://alexseibel.bandcamp.com/track/wither
youtube upload: https://youtu.be/l3km-HGFmUc

featured on https://www.treehouseradio.live

Wither

name your price

sample:
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneohtrixpointnever/comments/as5b86/my_heart_will_go_opn/

mͨͯ̿ỵ̎ͯ h̬̘ͯe͉ͯ᷀a̭̼ͯr͇ͯͯtͯ̊͜ w̜ͯͦi᷄ͯ᷁l̝ͯ͌l̎ͯ̊ g̢̺ͯoͥͯ᷁ o̷᷈ͯn̯̮ͯ(speedcore)

would you mind
keeping me from  
spacing out every
moment that i think about
how scared i am to leave your side

are memories of us really enough
to keep you as a part of me 
as my fingers phase through yours
i am suffering through the paralyzing aftertaste
of our last embrace
in that hallway

and this biting morning breeze
is keeping me from
moving past
the nervousness
that breaks my heart
every step i take

towards the light
that is your smile
it keeps me up at night 
and my fucked up hands
keep reaching for something
something they cant hold onto
as my fingers phase through yours
i am terrified of the thought of us
never sharing a blanket
a cold winter night

fragile heart

shivering and quivering
along the path these streetlights take me
worried so many nights
close to tears so many times  
yet to find some swings to calm me 
thinking of nothing
but ill have to keep going
otherwise ill message you again

so ill chat with you
as it if you were here
down for a hug whenever i feel to 

yet to find some swings to calm me 
thinking of nothing
but ill have to keep going
otherwise id tell you that i like you

cover art by https://www.instagram.com/babygeist/

no thoughts head empty

that distance
you keep
to everyone you've ever known
so you can run away
as soon as you need to
is growing old

it took a litte more than 3 days 
for your scent to leave my bed
dreams of you became so much clearer
and after all this time 
im so much more certain
that i wouldnt mind
going wrong with you

Popular tracks by alex seibel .°☆