Lyrics: “Bad Little Yid”
By Al Johnson

Intro: 
Historically there were times in which the weak could boss around the powerful.  Priests and nuns would hold obscene rituals in their churches.  Serious people were required to get drunk and throw bags of flour on each other's heads.  Humor wasn’t just left to just those who felt so inclined, it was a kind of duty. 

Verse 1: 
Shul, Musaf, Tzitzis,  Talis, Kittle, Shtreimel, gmar chatima tova.  
Spit a bracha. Yasher Koach.  Daven Hallel.  
Not another extra piece of dam tefillah!
Man fuck a Gabbai! I’m the top guy!

Chorus: 
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy….

Verse 2:
Shul is hours, there’s no Kiddish.  
I’m starvin’ and all I hear is Yiddish.
I’m gonna pass out so I sit down in my chair, even though the Aron’s open and the Torah is bare. I put my face in my hands and I pray to Hashem.  
Sorry about that bacon cheeseburger and the premarital sex.  Sorry about drivin’ on Shabbas and skipping Shacharis.  Sorry about talking after washing’ but before motzi was said. Sorry about cursing during Musaf and lifting that Kippah off my head.  Sorry about not wearing Tefillin.  Sorry about not wearing Tztitzis.  Sorry about not wearing any clothes and streaking through shul while high on LSD.  Sorry about that time I took a shit in the Aron Kodesh and smeared it all over the Torah and told everyone it wasn’t me.  It was me, I’m the guilty party, so sorry God if I offended you.  I was only trying to make a joke, I hope you understand. I’m a delinquent, please offer me a hand. 

Chorus: 
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy….

Verse 3: 
Uh, yellowing Tzitzis, pissed stained Talesim, body odor’s ripe, I can’t stand to face ‘em. They sway and they bow and they breath and they yell, all that smell I can tell, they aint bathed cause they reek and they stink and it’s hot and I’m going to pop cause I’m bored and the Sox are playing in the Bronx. But I can’t watch the game, cause I’m stuck in this shul in a crowd of gross men as they sweat and they sway and they sing oy yoy yoy.  

Who do you think you are bitch?! You think you know how it’s done?!  
Well God’s not a fairy, God’s not the one, who cares who you marry, who cares who you conn. The truth is complex, not a man in the sky.  Hashem is the universe, the energy, that’s why. It’s about more than kashrus and driving on Shabbas.  It’s love for your neighbor and helping the poor. Making society stronger and preventing a war.  So repent for your sins, and make your amends, and get off your ass, and help out your friends. 

Chorus: 
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy….

6. Bad Little Yid

6. Bad Little Yid

Alibimbam 2023

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