:: The Hitler Phone Service Helpline ::

...She said "Hey babe.....Take a walk on the Wonky side"

..Alice In Wonkeyland is a musical maelstrom that travels headlong into oblivion....taking with it a collective sound equivalent of a hundred centipedes in your underwear.....sampling such superfluous artistes as...Mr Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Slipknot, Those Sexey Pistols, Pinkus Floydus, Led Zeppellippellinnipellin, Slayerrrrrrgggggh, Michaael Jacksong and many many more-ish....The format is simple....to take what is 'acceptable' and make it not...to turn music on its own headey-head...turn it inside out, upside down so much so that it refususes to even acknowledge what it once was....Alice In Wonkeyland is a dream trip as a nightmare in the daytime...when you really should not be sleeping.....Empty your head...fill it with a cosmically charged rocket-ride into never-everland and come hold your breath for this twice in a  lifetime experience that will leave you lifeless and penniless with a smile on your face...who needs, Money, Power, Religion, Kontrol, and Sex...when you can have Alice In Wonkeyland...tugging at the holes in your head either side of your eyes....These musical shape-shifters will be available in 2016...Hold your breath now kiddies.....the best surf comes as the biggest waves are forming.........(.....Now we are going back to the news...Live on Sky TV)


...Ask your ears to re-assess what aurally trespassed them*...and then wunce more for luck....

(I) *Alice In Wonkeyland accepts all responsibilty for damage accrued from said exposure accredited to loss,, damage (therein and part of), breaches of contract (implied or non-implied, referred or non-inferred, actual or fiction) and removal of the actual (and non-factual)will to live (therein) after said aural date of exposure to said materials. 

(II) *All negative occurrences (actual or implied) are the total fault (first, second and all instances) entirely (in their original format, be they actual, implied or non-factual) and furthermore (to section 27b Alice In Wonkeyland accepts no unresponsibilty for this, any or all of anything (inferred or non-inferred) nothing (actual, implied or non-existently real) and everything (including, notwithstanding many things that are not standing-up, laying down or even knocked over - be they by their own divine inertia or second-person carelessnesssmess).

(III) * Alice in Wonkeyland reserves the right to not reserve the right to anything (or 'everything' or 'nothing' - not including, nor relevenent only to, part or whole) in its entirety (whole, sub-portional or pizza-sliced shape...hot or cold - microwaved or oven baked).

SMALL PRINT
"....Alice in Wonkeyland thanks you for flying with her and wishes to you the most intensely troublesome and turbulent journey and the most unforgettably cutely acute bumpy pant-filling landing"

(*Air miles are strictly not absent entirely nor strictly un-available on 'Bombletley Conkers Airlines)