A Windowsill Garden (TCK playlist)

Lyrics: 

You’ll be a new bead on a long string of houses behind me 
In cities that couldn’t seem to keep me 
And I’ll build a new life and in it you’ll find me 
Same as always trying to pin the blame 

And why am I afraid 
of what becomes of someone brave?
I run away again and again and again 
My only home is the cracks in the stones
The no man’s land of in-betweens 
I’ve got no defense, ‘cause it doesn’t make sense, that I'm afraid of my prettiest dreams 

What if I catch my breath?
What if I get some rest? 
Suitcase half-packed under the bed, what if instead - 
What if I bought a house?
What if I settled down? 
What if my children grow up here and we all stay here in this town?
What if I put down roots?
What if the garden blooms? 
What if we’re all here together on a beautiful day 
and we soak in the sunshine and
 what if we stayed ? 
Can’t help but imagine all that it could be 
If I broke my bad habits, if I didn’t leave 
What if I didn’t leave ?

I’ve got no defense, it doesn’t make sense
I’m afraid of my prettiest dreams

What If ?

Is this a musical "subtweet" @ the black-capped chickadee? Yes, yes it is. I'm sorry, I know you can't help your two-note call. If it makes you feel better I think you're a very cute-looking bird. 

Lyrics:
7am, I’m wishing for quiet 
The morning birds are so loud outside my window
And I hate their song, if you can even call it that

I wonder if there’s a girl in my old bedroom 
6,000 miles away from here,
 If anything, I wonder if she knows she’s spoiled
Because her morning birds know how to sing 

I should be grateful,
I should be so content.
My life’s not awful 
But I miss the days I spent
In my old world
It’s been so long 
I didn’t know leaving would still hurt like this 
But somedays I wake up 
And I hate my morning birds 
And I still keep on finding things to miss

Morning Birds

Lyrics:

We did our taxes 'cause we’re grown-ups 
Then had a picnic, ate some donuts 
Maple glaze and Venetian cream 
Every day is like a dream 

It doesn’t matter if we’re just running errands
I always have the best time, you’re my best friend
Blowing kisses across the grocery aisle, 
Do anything to make you smile 
Can’t help thinking my oh my 
I can’t believe you’re mine 

We could get a cottage in the woods somewhere
I bet we could find a way to make friends with the bears
We could leave behind our urban cares
And live our lives all “laissez-faire” 

But I would settle for a studio apartment in the city 
I’ll have a good time, as long as you’re with me 
I’ll take the metro, you’ll take the bus 
Any place is wonderful as long there’s us 

We could tour the world in a hot air balloon
And then write a fantastic memoir 
Drive the Pan-American highway 
End up in some Argentinian bar  

Instead, you’re out mowing the backyard
I’m cleaning baseboards in the hall
But we’ve got spring tulips on the table
Our wedding picture on the wall 

And we could stay in our little house on the prairie 
I guess I could learn to make sourdough 
And we can go on donut picnics in the 
Early April snow

I made a crown of dandelions 
We’re dancing in the park 
All at once I’m made of helium 
Feel like I’m floating to the stars 

My head on your shoulder 
We’re swaying by a half-eaten box of donuts 
I thought I’d hate getting older
But I love being a grown-up 

Maple glaze and Venetian cream 
Every day is like a dream 
Never been so in love, magnetic attraction 
I mean, I just had the best day filing taxes 

Maple glaze and Venetian cream 
We could go anywhere, we could do anything 
Can’t help thinking my oh my 
I can’t believe you’re mine

Donuts

Riverbanks mark the boundary between land and water. It can be a frustrating, muddy in-between, but it's also where the wild roses grow. This song is about somewhere that was home for a short time. 

Lyrics: 

So this is it. 
I’m moving again. 
New beginnings only come after ends.
 That’s the way it is. That’s the way it’s always been.
 
Am I becoming who I vowed not be? 
I’m still bitter about the homes I had to leave
And now I’m the one who’s doing this to me 

I’ll name the losses 
Like they taught me to do 
Try to process 
The old before the new 

Went to that conference
So I’m an expert, can you tell?
I know all the acronyms 
I build my raft so well 

And then I’m gone 
Leave it all behind 
These riverbanks and roses 
Well I guess they’re not supposed to be mine
It wasn’t long, but I loved it anyway 
Knew all along that I wasn’t here to stay 
Floating out of town on the river waves
Waving goodbye 

So this is it. 
Wish we could have been better friends
Now I’ll trade my neighbors for strangers
Build a village all over again 

I’ll pack up my suitcases 
And I’ll tell myself lies
Like I thrive in new places
And I’m good at goodbyes 

And then I’m gone 
Leave it all behind 
Another chapter closes 
I can’t help but notice I’m crying 
Wasn’t long, but I loved it anyway 
Knew all along that I wasn’t here to stay 
Floating out of town on the river waves
Waving goodbye 

I swear someday 
If I can ever afford it 
I’ll sign a 30-year mortgage 
White picket fence 
I’ll get some chickens and horses 
Put in a flower garden 
A treehouse in the forest 

I’ll unpack all the boxes
Get my last set of keys
It’ll be so ironic 
When I’m free to not leave 
Maybe it’s quixotic but 
At least I can dream 
I can dream 

So this is it. 


These river banks and roses 
Another chapter closes 
I can’t help but notice I’m crying 

These river banks and roses 
Another chapter closes 

Floating out of town on the river waves 
Floating out of town on the river waves 
Waving goodbye
Floating out of town on the river waves 
Waving goodbye
Guess it wasn’t supposed to be mine 
Waving goodbye

------------

Riverbanks and Roses

Wrote this 10 minutes ago this morning.

Lyrics
I got caught in a thunderstorm on Thursday afternoon 
It brought to mind once upon a time in a tropical monsoon 
And that old life is a decade behind me now 
You’d think I wouldn’t think about it so much but I do 
The sand from the Sahara, it really sticks with you 

I didn’t think I’d still be getting used to things
I thought that I’d have it figured out by now
Not playing pretend like I blend in 
When there is no denying 
I’m still a stranger in my homeland 
Nothing to do but keep on trying 
Keep on trying

Thunderstorm (snippet)

Another song for the  "My husband is wonderful and I can't stop writing love songs about him" playlist. Pls excuse the mediocre piano playing and lack of intro and outro thank u

Lyrics:
Fireworks in the sky
New year’s eve, first of July,
Maple lattes, ice cream cones
Wouldn’t taste half as good alone

If what I get is a quiet life 
A little house under amber skies 
No history books to hold my name 
Another epitaph that fades

Just morning coffee, work commute
But I know I’ll be home with you 
Dinner dishes, kitchen dance 
The same old day lived out again 

I’ll be happy, all I need 
Is you standing next to me 
And I'll say when my time comes due 
My best adventure was loving you 
And I was happy

If what I get is a quiet life 
Grocery bags and gravel drives
Photobooks that waste away
Unread journal ink that fades 

Just running errands, stoplight kiss
How could I wish for more than this? 
As long as our lives are tangled up 
Until the end darling, that’s enough 

I’ll be happy, all I need 
Is you dancing slow with me 
And honey when we say goodbye
Know that you were the treasure of my life 
And I was happy 

Planting flowers, raking leaves
Climbing ladders, cleaning eaves 
All that matters is you’re with me 
You’re with me 

Down the steps, an autumn stroll
You’re the best friend that I’ve known 
I always knew our love would grow 
I didn’t know it’d be this wonderful

You smile in the fire's glow
Clouds roll in, first fall of snow
We couldn’t have known our winding roads 
Would lead us home

And I’m happy, all I need
Is you, darling, holding me
I don’t know when our days are through
But I’m having the best ones loving you 

Fireworks in the sky
New year’s eve, first of July,
Happy years just rolling past
Oh all I want, is what I have 

I couldn’t have known these winding roads would lead me home

Maple Lattes (live from my living room)

Brought to you live from my living room via Voice Memos App and an electric keyboard.

Lyrics: 

“Only forward, never back”
What kind of messed up motto is that?
When everything you love you’ve left behind 

This is a city where I don’t have a past
I don’t think that I like that
I just want to get to someplace at last 
Where I don’t have to reinvent myself 

I won’t run into anyone I know
Pull out my maps to find my way home 
Home?
Back in my tiny apartment, windows facing a wall 
Won’t bother getting ready, nobody’s gonna call 
I know, but I hope. 

Can anybody tell me how to make some old friends?
Who love you on your worst days, not just on the weekends 
I want a kindred spirit, not just an acquaintance 
God help me, I’m so impatient 
Starting over wouldn’t be so bad if only,
It wasn’t so lonely 

Walking down these brand new streets
They’re so empty, no memories 
Everything I was, I’ve left behind 
This is a city where I don’t have a history 
Is that opportunity or misery? 
I just want to crawl out of my self-pity
And feel like I’m myself 

I won’t run into anyone I know
Pull out my maps to find my way home 
Home?
In my tiny kitchen, made too much dinner tonight
I guess I’ll have seconds, ‘cause nobody’s stopping by 
I know, but I hope. 

Can anybody tell me how to make some old friends?
Who love you on your worst days, not just on the weekends 
I want a kindred spirit, not just an acquaintance 
God help me, I’m so impatient 
Starting over wouldn’t be so bad if only,
It wasn’t so lonely 

I want a friendship with a past
I want a city where I have a history 
I want friends who really know me 
Starting over wouldn’t be so bad, if only 
New adventures wouldn’t make me sad, if only 

Moving forward. Can’t go back.

If Only

Lyrics:

We made a mess of the kitchen
Then we cleaned up the dishes 
Simple living, not Michelin 
But it was delicious 

You sing in the shower 
A love song I wrote 
I’m not a musician but you love to listen 
Oh it’s just for us to know 

When we fought in the car 
I shouldn’t have raised my voice that way 
But when there’s bumps in the road 
We still know where we’re going 
We both know that we’re here to stay 

And I could write a book about the ways that you get underneath my skin 
But I could fill a library with reasons why you are my best friend 
And I know that you know that I’ll be here ‘til the end 
And I will just keep loving you ’til then 

We look over the ledgers 
Long way from a house 
I tell you the real treasure is being together
And that’s all that counts 

You work long hours 
Come home worn out 
But I’m here for the sweet and the sour 
The snow and spring flowers 
Said it in my vows 

When we cried on the couch 
We didn’t think it’d be this hard
But when there’s bumps in the road 
We still know where we’re going 
And we know that we’ve come so far 

And you could write a book about the ways that I drive you wild 
But you could fill a library with reasons why I still make you smile
And you know that I know that you’ll be here ‘til the end 
And you will just keep loving me ’til then 
And I will just keep loving you ’til then 

Baby, I could fill a library with reasons why 
You are my best friend

‘Til Then

Written May 2023

Lyrics:

Lately I’ve been feeling small and unimportant. 
I’m still working on my cognitive distortions. 
I’ve been anxious and uninspired 
And my therapist retired 
The news is full of floods and fires
I think I’ll always be a nail-biter 

I’ve been going on runs and reading fiction on the bus
Trying to recover from the last couple of months 
I’ve been spending my time 
Learning how to be kind
To my own body and mind 
I’m trying 

Lately I’ve been feeling like an absent daughter
Sitting idly, find me wondering why I wander 
‘Cause I’m always missing you 
Don’t have a heritage of roots 
And you’re to blame but I am too 
‘Cause you made a choice that I still choose 

But I’ve been 
Writing long letters 
I’m finding ways to feel better 
Surviving on simple pleasures
I’m trying 
I’ve been spending my time 
Learning how to be kind
To my own body and mind 
I’m trying 


I’m doing my best 
To take a deep breath 
And then take a deep breath and then 
Take a deep breath 
I’m doing my best 
To take a small step 
And then take a small step 
And then take one more step 

I’ve been
Singing new songs
Deciding
That I belong
Just where I am 
And what’s gone is gone 
And I’m trying 
I’ve been mending my mind 
Realizing I’m gonna be fine 
I’m trying
You know that I’m trying

I'm doing my best
To take a deep breath

Lately

Hi I recorded this this morning on the voice memos app. Sorry the sound is a little fuzzy ! 

Lyrics: 
I cried a lot. 
I’m proud of it. 
I really thought 
This one would stick. 
But I’m happy 
‘Cause it shows I can still be hopeful 

Now I’m selling my things and painting over the holes
You should know it means I held you close 
Pulled up more roots than usual 

Two beautiful years, I wanted more
I swear I never had one foot out the door
And I slowed down in ways that I hadn’t before
I promise 

I still remember the day that I came 
I knew it would change me, I couldn’t escape
The ways I would grow up, the choices to make
I can be closed off, this time I was brave
And I memorized all the shops on this street 
I filled up my nights with friendship and tea 
I painted this city, no corner empty 
I made it all mean so much to me 

I cried a lot
Even for me
I’m glad I’m soft 
It’s hard to be 
But it feels good 
To really grieve 
It’s somehow sadder when it isn’t hard to leave 

I turn in my keys and get ready to go 
It’s never easy when you’re losing a home
But it hurts worse than usual 

Two beautiful years, I wanted more
I opened my mind and my heart and my doors 
And I loved in ways that I hadn’t before 
I promise 

I still remember the day that I came 
Oh look how it’s changed me, I couldn’t escape
The ways I would grow up, the memories made
I can be closed off, this time I was brave 

And I’ll always remember saying goodbye 
Two years come and gone in the blink of an eye 
And I know I can’t come back because home is a time
Not a rented apartment no longer mine  

I cried a lot. 
I’m proud of it. 
I really thought 
This one would stick.
But it feels good 
To really grieve 
I made it all mean so much to me

so much to me

Note to self: do not record during construction and rush hour. Oh well.

Lyrics:

Well I finally have an answer for the fog and the fatigue 
Such a shame that’s it’s an answer that’s never gonna leave
What if I make peace with the illness and she doesn’t with me ?
She locked up my old self just to tell me there’s no key 

It’s ironic 
You finally make a home
Just to lose the way you live
And I know it’s chronic 
But I bet I’ll waste all my wishes
Hoping things will shift 
While well-meaning insensitive
folks tell me it’s a gift 
I didn’t know where my life was going
but I didn’t think this was it 

I know 
It could be worse
It could always be worse, it’s not a competition 
I know 
It could be worse, it could always be worse 
It’s not a consolation 
I know it could be worse, well things could always be worse 
And I’m tired of this stupid conversation 
Tell me why do people downplay grief like it’s their occupation ? 
Or even worse tell me that suffering’s an inspiration ?
Well I don’t want your pity or a standing ovation 
I just want three minutes to feel things 
It’s not a selfish expectation 

Don’t worry about me 
I know how to move past things
But let me stay here for a moment
I’m gonna stay here for a moment 
And take some time to grieve 

‘Cause I finally got my answer for the fog and the fatigue 
And I’m sad that it’s an answer that’s never gonna leave
And I know I can face this but it still feels hard to me 
She locked up my old self and no one’s sure if there’s key 

It could be worse, it could be worse,
I guess it could be worse
It could be worse, it could be worse 
Oh my goodness, it hurts
But I guess it could be worse, it could be worse

Three Minutes

Lyrics:
I feel like moving countries
Throw a dart and pick a city 
I’m climbing up the dive board
To somersault into self-pity 
I wish that I could find a way
to change my life completely 
But what a shame, can’t find a way 
to not take myself with me 

I feel like moving countries
I bet I could disappear 
Erasing all the traces 
No proof I was ever here 
Shutting all my accounts down 
Throw my phone into the river
If there’s one thing you can count on 
It’s for me to be a quitter

Sometimes I hate my name 
And I hate my face
I want to fast forward 
Or maybe just change the tape

I feel like moving countries
Dye my hair and change my dress
Strike the matches, scatter ashes 
Til there’s nothing left
I feel like starting over 
Asking God to send a flood 
Sweep away my past mistakes
Drown everything that I once was

I feel like ditching cities 
Packing bags with no goodbye 
Oh no you can’t convince me 
That I should probably give it time 
I feel like new beginnings 
Watch me leave it all behind
The kind of thrill it gives me
I’ve chased it for my whole life 

Sometimes I hate my name 
And I hate my face
I want to fast forward 
Or rip out the tape
I don’t want you to know me 
I just want to escape 
I bet it would be better 
If I run away  if I run away 

Throw a dart and pick a city
Oh I feel like new beginnings 
Throw a dart but then it hits me 
What a shame that I’ll stay with me 

Is it normal twice a month 
That I consider giving up 
Everything I’ve worked so hard for? 
It all feels like worthless stuff 
Maybe I’m a fool for chasing
After grass that seems to glitter
If there’s one thing you can count on 
It’s for me to be a

Quitter

Hi this is for the burned out girlies going through it 


Lyrics:
Got some heavy feelings that I can’t shake off
Crying on a Wednesday in a coffee shop 
Staring at the foam leaf on my London fog 
Dwelling on the past wondering where I went wrong 

Can’t put pen to paper I just can’t begin
Feel like I’m in some kind of eternal tailspin
Take deep breaths to regulate my nervous system 
November’s so much colder when you’ve got thin skin 


This is just an afternoon 
It won’t last 
One day I’ll wake up in June
Different view, looking back
Can’t  predict the future 
I’m ok with that 
But I think I’ll get through this
I always have 
I always have

November

February

Snowflakes

Lyrics:
"The impeded stream
 is the one that sings"
[ Wendell Berry wrote it
And if you know me, 
you know my worst quality 
Is that I believe the poets ]
I don’t have to be good!!
The world calls like wild geese 
Tells me I belong here 
In the family of things
Cotton candy, rainy days 
Every home a dog-eared page 
I might just let the goldenrods 
Give a me a new name 

[ This is my rebellion
It’s long overdue 
To believe that life is beautiful 
Even if it’s not true 
One in eight billion
And somehow I found you
It’s enough to make a skeptic 
Change her tune ]

Stand still and be astonished at the view
Until my one wild and precious life is through
I’ll do my work, loving the world and you 
I'll do my work: loving the world and you 

____________________________________________________
Recorded live on the iPhone voice memos app ✨
____________________________________________________
Poetry referenced:
Wendell Berry
Our Real Work: https://grateful.org/resource/our-rea... 

Mary Oliver
Wild Geese: https://gwenglish.org/poem-of-the-day...
Messenger: https://www.yogawithsusana.com/post/m...
The Summer Day: https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-a... 

Nikki Giovani
Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day: https://voetica.com/poem/6770

Maggie Smith
Goldenrod: https://www.versedaily.org/2017/golde... 
Written Deer: https://poets.org/poem/written-deer

rebellion

Lyrics:

I’m thankful for the doctors and for medical advancements 
And I promise I am grateful and I don’t take it for granted
But I’ve never liked needles, I just held my breath
Watched the sound waves paint a picture on the imaging test

I know I’m lucky to be here when life could be much more unfair 
And I’m thankful for the doctors but I’m still a little scared 
Can’t help but feel some kind of shaken, unbalanced, unprepared 
And I’m thankful for the doctors, but I’m still a little scared 

Little capsules on my nightstand
Silent and humble and life-saving 
I’m so happy they exist but
I’m so sad I’ve got to take them

And it’s another day fighting rejected claims
And paying out of pocket, not pocket change
I guess no news is good news 
But I can’t take more of the same

I know I’m lucky to be here when life could be much more unfair 
And I’m thankful for the doctors but I’m still a little scared 
Can’t help but feel some desperation, won’t let it slip into despair
‘Cause I’m thankful for the doctors, but I’m still a little scared 

But maybe no news is good news?
I’m shaken, I’m confused
I’m grateful, I’m lucky
Relapse and recovery, repeat 
That no news is good news
Regress and then improve 
Unbalanced, unprepared
I’m a little bit scared 

But maybe no news is good news.
I’m shaken, I’m confused
I’m grateful, I’m lucky
Relapse and recovery, 
Repeat that no news is good news
Be brave ‘cause I have to 
Unbalanced, uprepared
I’m a little bit scared 
 
And there’s been so much bad news 
Don’t know if I can push through 
It’s awful, it’s unfair 
I can’t help it, I’m scared

I know that it’s a privilege
to even get this kind of care. 

So I’m thankful for the doctors
I’m thankful for the doctors
God bless all my doctors
But I’m still a little scared
I'm still a little scared 

-----------------------------------------
Recorded live on the iPhone voice memos app.

in the waiting room

Written in 2020 
Lyrics
Where do I begin? I miss hibiscus and mint 
Cool sips in the sandy shade of the mango trees
 I watched the sunlight shimmer 
on the quiet waves of a winding river 
Oh it used to be the biggest part of me

Saw the traffic crawling from our rooftop in the city 
I’d wave to the painted canoes out on the sea 
Back when most days started 
with a crowded outdoor market 
 Oh that used to be the biggest part of me

And that’s how the story goes 
I’m collecting homes 
A colourful mosaic of all the loves I’ve known

Rain jackets and a pale sun 
Lavender swaying in the breeze 
The stairs on the pier saw so many tears those years 
It used to be the biggest part of me

I remember when I stretched out my vowels so I’d fit in 
Holding old mason jars of sweet tea 
Late night through the chapel doors,
I’d soothe my heart with piano chords 
It used to be the biggest part of me

And that’s how the story goes 
I’m collecting homes 
A colourful mosaic of all the loves I’ve known
Yeah that’s how the story goes 
I’m collecting homes 
And I keep adding pieces 
Wherever I go

Different city, same routine
Getting lost on one-way streets
But somehow I always seem to find
Just the thing I need 
Soon it’ll be the biggest part of me 

I’ve never met a single house I couldn’t make into a home 
I’ve never seen a single town I couldn’t turn into a poem 
I’m making a mosaic of all the loves I’ve ever known 
And I carry them with me wherever I go  

And that’s how the story goes 
Asked where I’m from and now you know 
I’m scattered pieces glued with hope
And all the pieces make me whole
Mosaic blue and green and gold 
Mosaic blue and green and gold 

I’ve learned to lose and not let go 
I’m all the love I’ve ever known

mosaic

Written at 16, recorded on the voice memos app on my iPhone. 
Lyrics: 

It’s time to say goodbye again 


Seems like everyone leaves and nobody stays
I’m such a mess and I feel out of place
Nowhere is home and I’ll never belong
I’m just passing through, and then I’ll move on


And I know it’s better to love and to lose and to hurt 
than to keep my distance 


So take my hand, let’s run away
Tell me your story, I’ll share in your pain
Dive in the deep end, trust without fear
And we’ll make this time worth all the tears
Please don’t keep your distance


There’s not enough time to hide who you are
So show us your bruises, your burns and your scars 
And we will show you ours 
We don’t keep our distance 


Take my hand, let’s run away
Tell me your story, I’ll share in your pain
Dive in the deep end, trust without fear
And we’ll make this time worth all the tears
There’s no room for shallow here 
Please don’t keep your distance






It’s time to say goodbye again 


I stare out the airplane window 
A hundred memories come back 
Tears flood my eyes and I don’t hold them back
Each moment creates more distance between us 
But I’m glad I know while I was there I loved
With everything I had, I didn’t keep my distance, 
Didn’t take the easy way out, I didn’t keep my distance 


Hello 
I’m sorry 
I might take things a little too fast
It’s just because I’ve learned that nothing lasts
Please don’t keep your distance
There’s not enough time 
Because everything changes, everything changes 
And I’m already thinking of goodbye 
Soon I’ll say goodbye again 


And nowhere is home and I’ll never belong 
Nowhere is home and I'll never belong
We love and we lose 
We always say goodbye
Nowhere is home, nowhere is home 


Take my hand 
There’s no room for shallow here

Denizen (Distance) Live Recording

Lyrics:
I don’t usually ever act this way 
But they don’t know that 
Lately I just haven’t felt the same 
But they don’t know that 
They say this is freedom, spread your wings
You can be whoever you want to be
When nobody knows you 
Nobody knows me 

I’ve gotten good at starting over 
But I’m tired of moving on 
And counting down the days til 
Everything is gonna change and 
Another part of me is gone 

The other night I just fell apart 
And they all know that 
Lately I have had a heavy heart 
And they all know that 
They say it gets better, give it time  
But I’m running out and I feel like I 
Don’t even know me 
I don’t even know me 

I’m tired of starting over 
I’m numb from moving on 
Packing up my things and 
seeing what the next place brings and 
Another part of me is gone 

Soon I'll be starting over 
And letting go and moving on 
So I am on my knees 
Praying that before I leave 
This place will feel like home 

I’m packing up my things
You’ll always be a part of me 
Every time I leave 
I leave behind a part of me 
And 
Another part of me is gone

Gone (Live Recording)

Lyrics:
I could look at the clouds in the sky 
But I'd rather lie 
here looking at you 
Finding shapes in the clouds in the sky 
I wish I could see the world through your eyes

Candy pieces in our hands 
And your tongue is green and my mouth is blue
It looks like summer decided not to show 
(but we're pretending we don't know and we're pretending we aren't cold) 
and I'm pretending that I never have to be away from you 
I'll pretend all afternoon

I tease you too much and I never say 
How I appreciate the way 
You're always looking on the bright side
You find the silver lining when all I can see is gray 
I wish I could see the world through your eyes

Time is slipping through our hands 
And the world goes around and the leaves fall down
It's all too fast and I want slow 
(and we're pretending we don't know that people grow and then they go)
and I'm pretending that I never have to be away from you 
I'll pretend all afternoon

Your laugh makes me laugh 
Your heart makes me glad 
And my heart is so glad 
That you are with me right now
Because when I'm with you
The sun is always shining 
You are my silver lining 
And I don't need reminding that 
This life is beautiful 
You make my world more beautiful 
Oh I wish you could see you through my eyes

It's getting dark and I can't stay 
But your dreams are bright, it'll be okay 
I wish I could stay with you and watch all your dreams come true 
Oh I've been pretending that I never have to be away from you 
And I'll keep pretending until I do

And we're pretending we don't know that people grow and then they go 
And we're pretending that goodbyes just don't apply to me and you 
It won't be long until they do 
So let's pretend until they do

All Afternoon

Lyrics: 

Wind in our hair, hearts in the sky
Salt on our tongues, sun in our eyes
As the ocean flies by 
And we're young and free
And our love runs deep 
And our pain runs deep 
'Cause we feel everything, everything 

And we will 
Never have this moment again
We'll never have this moment again 

The sky is dark, then bursts with color 
All the sparks start off another circle in time 
And we look up at the lights
And we're young and free
And our hope runs deep 
And our hurt runs deep 
'Cause we feel everything, everything 

And we will 
Never have this moment again 
We'll never have this moment again 

A piece of paper in your hand
A piece of paper in my hand
Different paths and different plans 
Can't we just stop time
And hold on to this moment 
Like we're holding on to each other?
Let's forget just for a second life goes on 
'Cause in this moment 
We're young and free 
And the tears flow free 

And it's bittersweet 

We feel everything 
And we will 
Never have this moment again 

So close your eyes and take a picture with your mind 
Close your eyes and take a picture with your mind 
So you'll remember what it's like 
Right now 
We have everything, everything 
Everything, everything

Bittersweet

Faster, more upbeat version of the Jump Rope Song. Just having fun with it! :)

Jump Rope (Double Dutch Version)

Learned a new song today and made it my own. 

Lyrics:

Night falls, with gravity
The earth turns, from sanity
Taking my only friend I know,
He leaves a lot,  his name is Hope

I'm never what I like
I'm double-sided
And I just can't hide
I kinda like it
When I make you cry
'Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside

The horrors of the night melt away
Under the warm glow of survival of the day
Then we move on, my shadow grows taller along with my fears
And my friends shrinks smaller as night grows near
When the sun is climbing window sills
And the silver lining rides the hills
I will be saved for one whole day
Until the sun make the hills its grave

I'm never what I like
I'm double-sided
And I just can't hide
I kinda like it
When I make you cry
'Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside

I'm semi-automatic,
My prayers schizophrenic
But I'll live on, yeah I'll live on, yeah I'll live on

By the time the night wears off, the dust is down
And shadows burn
I will rise and stand my ground,
Waiting for the night's return

I'm never what I like
I'm double-sided
And I just can't hide
I kinda like it
When I make you cry
'Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside
I'm never what I like
I'm double-sided
And I just can't hide
I kinda like it
When I make you cry
'Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside my mind

Semi-Automatic Twenty One Pilots Cover

Lyrics:
There’s no picture frames on these walls 
Cause I’d just have to take them all down 
And all this music I had finally gotten used to 
Will be replaced with new sounds 
While I just try to figure things out 
I’m still trying to figure things out 

The sky and I are very good friends 
We just seem to keep on meeting again 
Cause I am weightless 
No roots to hold me down 
I’m restless 
I barely touch the ground 

Tell me what it’s like to be the one who stays 
Without numbers counting down in the back of your mind each day 
Walking in the living room looking at your pictures in frames 
And you could plant a garden if you wanted 
So much time for beautiful things 

But I am 
Climbing in the skies again 
Loves are left behind again 
My whole world just dies again 
Sinks beneath the clouds 
Cause I am weightless 
No roots to hold me down 
I’m restless 
I barely touch the ground 
I’ve barely touched the ground 

And they keep telling me how free I am 
Just how blessed to have these wings I am 
But wings just take me away from them 
Wings just take you away 
Wings just take you away

I'm weightless
No roots to hold me down 
I'm restless 
I barely touch the ground 
I've barely touched the ground 

You could plant a garden if you wanted 
So much time for beautiful things 
Loving even deeper if you wanted 
Grounded in your loving without wings

You could plant a garden if you wanted 
So much time for beautiful things 
Loving even deeper if you wanted 
Grounded in your loving without wings

Wings (Live)

Lyrics: 

Blue eyes in the fire’s glow 
Night falls fast while we take things slow 
If the day is over I don’t want to know 
I don’t want to go 
I don’t want to go 

I’m made up of scattered pieces you already understand 
And you want to get know my heart before you hold my hand 
In my nightmares there’s an hourglass with falling sand
It never stops chasing me 

My tongue is twisted 
Languages mixing 
I want to make the most of this 
I don’t know how 
If patience grew on trees
 I’d hide myself in leaves 
To keep my heart from racing
And the hourglass from chasing 
Me 

I love the sun; you love the snow 
You’re burning up when I’m freezing cold 
You’re a story that I want to know 
Crawl inside the pages instead of hearing it told 

My tongue is twisted 
Languages mixing 
I want to make the most of this 
I don’t know how 
If patience grew on trees
 I’d hide myself in leaves 
To forget the days counting down, counting down 
To forget the days counting down, down 

And I’ll miss that farmer’s tan 
The way you tease me, the way you dance 
In the living room at night 
After we dry the dishes 
If I had three wishes 
They’d all be to just stop time 

Right now in the fire’s glow 
I want fast, but I’m trying slow 
If the day is over I don’t want to know 
I don’t want you to go 
I don’t want to go 

If our time here’s over
I don’t want to know 
I don’t want to go 

Shatter the glass 
Make tomorrow disappear 
I don’t want to go home
I’m already here 

Shatter the glass 
Make tomorrow disappear 
I don’t want to go home
I’m already here

If The Day Is Over

Minus Twenty-Two


I’ll dance in the icy streets till my nose is blue
And man I’ve got cold feet but not about you
Bring on the blizzard, bring on the storm 
We’ve got each other, we’ll keep warm 
Snowflakes are falling, we take our time
Baby I’m all in, and you’re all mine 

Snow is falling, snow is falling
Me too, me too 
There are sparks from the heart of the fire
Me too, me too 


I’ll dance in the icy streets till my nose is blue 
The cold wind is biting and bitter but there’s nowhere I wouldn’t go with you
Uncertainty’s an avalanche but it’s certainly a thrilling view 
You still have me melting when it’s minus twenty two

Come and dance outside in the falling snow 
I’ll love you forever, I’ll go where you go 
And to everyone else it seems crazy I know, I know, I know 
But when I look in your eyes I don’t notice the cold

Snow is falling, still falling
Me too, me too 
There are sparks from the heart of the fire
Me too, me too 


You’re a winter cover
You’re my cup of tea
Sweet cream on cocoa 
And June melodies 
You’re a ray of sunlight
You’re an ocean breeze 
You’re the sapphire sky above the palm trees
We’re an endless summer
You're my favorite place to be 
You’re my favorite place to be 

Snow is falling, still falling
You too, you too 
There are sparks from the heart of the fire
You too, you too 


I thought I’d set the bar so high 
Then over it you flew, you flew
Better than my wildest dreams so what’s a girl to do?
I can’t stop writing love songs, honey they’re all about you
You still have me melting when it’s minus twenty-two 
You still have me melting when it’s minus twenty-two 

Come and dance with me in the falling snow
When I look in your eyes I don’t notice the cold 
You’re pulling me in, you’re holding me close 
I’ll love you forever, I’ll go where you go 
I’ll go where you go

Minus Twenty Two

Lyrics:

We’ll unpack our suitcases 
Begin to embrace this
Unfamiliar place so 
Different from what we’ve known 

We’ll learn and go exploring
We know our best stories 
Happen well outside of 
Our comfort zone

We can make anywhere home 


Constant changing is our sameness 
Uprooting is our routine 
We’ll bloom in winter 
Our resilience is our stability 

I am all the places that changed me 
I am all the cities that made me me 
I am all the people who named me 
Home is wherever I happen to be 

Not a number on a street


I’ll send you a letter 
We’ll compare the weather 
I need to borrow languages to tell you how I feel 
You’ll listen like a true friend 
Like when we jumped in the deep end 
We’ve moved six times since then 
That’s how you know that it’s real 


Constant changing is our sameness 
Uprooting is our routine 
We’ll bloom in winter 
Our resilience is our stability 

I am all the places that changed me 
I am all the cities that made me me 
I am all the people who named me 
Home is wherever I happen to be 

Not a number on a street


I’m moving again 
Soon you’ll hear it in my accent 
Uprooting again 
Daydreaming in past tense 

I’ll unpack my suitcases
I promise I’ll embrace this 
Unfamiliar place so 
Different from what I’ve known 

I promise I’ll be open 
Won’t bury my emotions 
My heart’s caught between oceans 
But I can make anywhere home 

We  can make anywhere home 


I am all the places that changed me 
I am all the cities that made me me 
I am all the people who named me 
Home is wherever I happen to be 

We are all the places that changed us
We are all the cities that shaped us 
We are all the people who named us 
Home is wherever we’re known and we’re loved 

Not a number on a street

Suitcases

Apology to Winter 

I never learned to ice skate but it’s never too late
You held my hand on the frozen lake
And invisible guardian angels must have saved me from twisting an ankle
Because every time I fell, I was okay

I’ve never walked in snow so deep
Never went sledding down a hill this steep 
You said I was screaming like a little kid
But life is better when you live it uninhibited 

I didn’t know I could be this happy when I’m cold 
Life’s simple pleasures have a way of warming souls
 I never imagined one day this is where I’d be
But this unlikely city is growing on me 

I learned to roll maple taffy on the snow 
Blew bubbles in the air and watched them as they froze
Caught snowflakes on my tongue until I couldn’t feel my nose
Ran through fields of white under a sky of gold 

Don’t you think it’s funny how our stories intertwined 
When all your homes have been so far away from mine ?
I want to know them, to know them so I know you 
To love them ‘cause I love you 

I didn’t know I could be this happy when I’m cold 
Life’s simple pleasures have a way of warming souls
 I never imagined one day this is where I’d be
But this unlikely city is growing on me 

The early sunset sets the sky aglow 
Ethereal beauty fades into long shadows
I lace my skates again, I’m gliding on the ice 
You take my hand again, I know we’ll be alright 

I didn’t know I could be this happy when I’m cold 
Life’s simple pleasures have a way of warming souls
I never imagined one day this is where I’d be
But I’d live a thousand winters as long as you’re with me 
And I’d brave a thousand blizzards, as long as you’re with me 
And I’m learning to love winter, no place I’d rather be

Apology To Winter

this is 95% just goofing off on a keyboard or a ukulele and recording it on the voice memos app

alittlelark

Pinned to spotlight

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