Cine Addicts

Alex and Dale Cine Addicts Episode 01

Episode 2

Bullshit - Project - Episode03

Live Storytelling -  Alex Quinones

To be it not to be

If I could go back in time,
I would suffer more.
I would suffer for my art.
I would suffer for my love.
I would suffer for my heart.
Don't confuse suffering
with mistakes.
I would do things better,
but the things I would do
would be better.
I would not ingratiate myself
on false celebrations.
Fake smiles fawning over
empty bills,
having nothing to offer but
the next course on someone
else's path.

If I could go back in time,
I would suffer more.
I would throw away
the chase for glory
and replace it with
what was actually glorious,
what never leaves us until
we leave it.

If I could go back in time,
I would tell the world
suffering is beauty
because it involves sacrifice.
It involves a reckoning between
the soul and the plane.
It involves an offering,
a naked offering of all we treasure,
for something that comes as a revelation
of the deep.
The pebble in a cave that has no value
to anyone but those who find it
and see its value.

If I could go back in time,
I would suffer more.
And in this suffering,
purity would cleanse my sacrifice,
and I would be stripped of all that
weighs down the body throughout the years.
If I could go back in time,
I would suffer more in lightness,
in bareness, but inside a
vulnerability that would
shield me from that which
blinds me at night.
The only light that would sneak
around would be welcome,
because it would be appreciated,
the way a song you love
plays only sparingly and, yet,
always right on time.
And in that melodic visit,
where the spirit meets the heart,
that is where my time
would be well spent.
A time well spent
is neither easy nor hard;
it is simply right.
No matter how exhausting,
it reinvigorates itself with what I
have to give.
What I have to give involves a suffering.
To give yourself so freely but in
exchange to be freed.
Be the single pebble in the cave of worth.
Nothing bejeweled, nothing guarded,
nothing but bareness, singular and eternal.

If I could go back in time,
I would suffer more,
and I would suffer less.

If I Could Back in Time, I Would Suffer More

July 6, 2020

Melody I heard in my head on this day.￼

July 7, 2020

Musical Journal Entry: Nov 10, 2020

If

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too: 

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or being hated don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; 

If you can dream- -and not make dreams your master; 

If you can think- -and not make thoughts your aim, 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools; 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss: 

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on! ' 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
Or walk with Kings- -nor lose the common touch, 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
If all men count with you, but none too much: 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, 

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And- -which is more- -you'll be a Man, my son!

“If” by Rudyard Kipling

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