out on all plats
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3E6yQkIDGNAIPpNBS1e38u?si=8e6e166a5bed45fe
p: @shadeaway

lyrics:
I see your eyes around the corner
I splash my face into some water
Yeah, paranoia, and disorders
It's not safe, I tried to warn her

She didn't listen 
yeah she was fuckin' gone in an instant
I start to lose cognition
It's gone along with my vision

It's hard to see, it's hard to breathe
I feel the shivers in my teeth
I think I'm dying, I start to grieve
My thoughts all kill me silently

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I lead my mind into a ditch 
think I might pop my fucking lid
They tell me I'll go far and I'm just a kid
I know, but I don't really want to exist

It's so damn hard to stay awake
Bad thoughts, and all of these headaches
My minds a glass, about to break
Overthink about every step I take

It's hard to see, it's hard to breathe
I feel the shivers in my teeth
I think I'm dying, I start to grieve
My thoughts all kill me silently

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

haunted

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4rNS2DFEMhLn6ql2eqv3ee?si=CIpTGhMnQUWdIyZ5_w3S9A
prod by: klimlords

lyrics: 
I'd do anything to feel alive
If I take this pill, I'll be dead 'fore I arrive
She don't wanna live, devil tattooed on her thigh
She grips the knife in her hand as she looks me in my eyes

and I know, yeah I know, oh I know
It's my fault, it's my fault, it's all my fault

I don't have time for your ignorance
My hearts been burning like Icarus
I've been tryna change, it's rigorous
We're too far apart, there's dissonance

I need you now
I can't breathe or hear a sound
How could you leave? We made a vow
I'm young and dumb, it all goes south

I fall apart at the seams
Derealization, I'm a machine
You haunt me in like all my dreams
My voice suppressed, yeah I can't scream

I hate you now
I can't be myself when you're around
I can't go lower, at the ground
Just wish that I could make you proud

I'd do anything to feel alive
If I take this pill, I'll be dead 'fore I arrive
She don't wanna live, devil tattooed on her thigh
She grips the knife in her hand as she looks me in my eyes

and I know, yeah I know, oh I know
It's my fault, it's my fault, it's all my fault

dead on arrival

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/05cA7dCe30DWpVwAQChn55?si=Zjz__utqSLSxI8fHCzv6tw
prod: klimlords

lyrics:
I can feel her gaze when she's watching
She don't really love me, final nail in the coffin
I wanna be seen, but I hate all of the stalking
I can hear the pain in her voice when she's talking

Yeah, she was never good at fidelity
We won't get far it's our destiny
You push me down so heavily
I try and try so desperately

Your love's a drug, supplying my addiction
I ain't gonna talk to you, don't wanna miss it
Every word I say to you causes confliction
All the things we've been through, was it all fiction
You're too controlling all these restrictions

So what do I do now
I don't wanna have another falling out
I never meant to let you down
All we built, I'll burn it to the ground

I don't care enough
I'm too cowardly to open up
Try your best to sober up
You only care about me when you're drunk

I can feel her gaze when she's watching
She don't really love me, final nail in the coffin
I wanna be seen, but I hate all of the stalking
I can hear the pain in her voice when she's talking

Yeah, she was never good at fidelity
We won't get far it's our destiny
You push me down so heavily
I try and try so desperately

stalker!

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1oquVck3OapEqJXssxsxqg?si=DxOk2Dy_QwWAvsRvM_1_HQ
prod by: klimlords

lyrics:
Yeah, it's been a long time since I've felt like this
and there are quite a few things I can say I miss
but I don't have the time to reminisce
So I try to leave but you insist

So we talk through night and day
You tell me that you hate when I'm away
but it's so damn hard to find a reason to stay
when you stay steady rotting my brain

I think that I might go insane
I stand there soaking in the rain
You're nothing to me but a chain
I try to break free, but it's in vein

All you ever do is complain
Now you wanna talk about it, it's too late
Yeah, all you do is cause me pain
I'm so damn numb like Novacaine

I don't really wanna talk, because it's hard to find the words
I don't like being around you, I know that I'll get hurt
All of our problems you avert
I'm inside out, yeah I'm invert

It's way too late to save my soul
I really wonder if she cared at all
Can't go much farther, at the wall
Drown all my sorrows in alcohol

Yeah, she's a call away
Don't pick up that phone, it's a big mistake
The memories are on replay
When you get near, I'm in dismay

So we talk through night and day
You say you hate when I'm away
It's so damn hard to find a reason to stay
when you stay steady rotting my brain

I think that I might go insane
I stand there soaking in the rain
You're nothing to me but a chain
I try to break free, but it's in vein

All you ever do is complain
Now you wanna talk about it, it's too late
Yeah, all you do is cause me pain
I'm so damn numb like Novacaine

brain rot

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3hJD6goFI1go016fBNkdcV?si=wLmc7uqhRZipeoq5Kgj5uA
art by visualsbykura
prod: Klimlords x RJ Pasin
featuring: @1bearr
lyrics: 

(@alkayn)
I've been fuckin' up everything I try
Sometimes I wish that I would die
It's hard to keep you in my life
It's so damn difficult

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

(@1bearr)
Just wanna blow my brains 
I don’t think I’ll ever be the same 
Scars linking back to your name 
Your messages drive me insane 

And I don’t think I’ll ever be the same 
All the words that we exchanged 
in your sights so fire down range 
you don’t love me, I see it in your face 

And I know that we tried our best 
Keep putting my heart to the test 
Can’t go on I’m so depressed 
Think it’s time to give us a rest

(@alkayn)
You can fuck off baby I don't want your love
I don't have the time to give a fuck
Stuck in abyss, just my luck
I always find a way to fuck it up

(@alkayn & @1bearr)

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

1wayticket2death w/ 1bear

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/05H7DFe2YnGGrIokYRhAnG?si=8_dJSMLYQ8qMqEzGoBV5dQ
art by visualsbykura
prod: grayskies

lyrics: 
Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage

So won't you tell me what I did wrong
Spent so long tryna find out where I belong
Fucked up from the way you string me along
I'm so fuckin sick and tired of the love songs

I don't want your love, but I need it
Thinking about my past gonna leave me steady grieving
I cared so much, don't give a fuck if you believe me
I've never been smart, so it's not hard to deceive me

and I know it's all my fault
now I'm on my own

I hate you
You say you want me dead, I don't blame you
I don't get why this is what it came to
I don't remember one time that you came through

So save your words
It'll be a long time till we mature
My brain is fogged, my visions blurred
I guess I got what I deserved

I can't stand to be alone
Like why won't you pickup your phone
You break me down, and leave me broke
Yeah, all the pain that you invoke

Did I even love you in the first place
How can I wish someone the best in the worst way
I miss putting my arms around your waist
I hate seeing your face on the worst days

and I know it's all my fault
now I'm on my own

Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage
(so won't you)
Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage

dissonance

spotify: https://spotify.link/jRGmXUfTgJb
prod: grayskies

lyrics:
Stressed out, yeah I'm feeling anguished
You turned all the lights out, darkness is a blanket
I don't wanna talk now, can you really blame me
She don't know a thing about me, don't know my language

and I
Haven't felt good in awhile
But I don't think I wanna die
But I don't wanna be around

It all feels the same
Never take accountability, can't handle the blame
Optimism is a mask and it's so hard to maintain
You ask what the problem is, but I can't explain
There's something wrong with my brain

It all feels the same
Never take accountability, can't handle the blame
Optimism is a mask and it's so hard to maintain
You ask what the problem is, but I can't explain
There's something wrong with my brain

Silence fills my head but it ain't peaceful
Used to feeling mislead, you're all deceitful
Constantly I bleed, it's getting lethal
The way that I'm perceived, yeah I'm not needful

Cover up my ears, don't wanna hear what they're saying
It's never been clear, but I don't wanna say it
Time's up for us my dear, I'm slowly fading
and I can't seer the things that you're portraying

and I
Haven't felt good in awhile
But I don't think I wanna die
But I don't wanna be around

It all feels the same
Never take accountability, can't handle the blame
Optimism is a mask and it's so hard to maintain
You ask what the problem is, but I can't explain
There's something wrong with my brain

It all feels the same
Never take accountability, can't handle the blame
Optimism is a mask and it's so hard to maintain
You ask what the problem is, but I can't explain
There's something wrong with my brain

anguish

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4vxlW9HN63QH7WS01lXpHG?si=2f389f101cb24862
prod: grayskies

lyrics:
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

I hate the way you say my name
The way you act drives me insane
I see the bluff right on your face
A broken heart’s the price I pay
I see it all, I see it so clear
It’s so cold having you this near
In your embrace I feel your tears
I see your face, I’m filled with fear

So stay away from me,
I think that I’ve lost my mind
If this is what it came to,
I think this should all be left behind

I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

I’ll say the things that you want me to
Won't speak my mind, I’m stuck in solitude
I don’t even know what I’d say to you
I don’t know what you wanna hear, but it’s not the truth
No, I can’t let my guard down
They all used to hate me, they steady sending hearts now
Said you would replace me but that’s a thing that I doubt
Red in the face as it all starts to go south

So stay away from me,
I think that I’ve lost my mind
If this is what it came to,
I think this should all be left behind

I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

stranded

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6Tmexwurbyz7nPKtBRslBm?si=NjobR7qdR8OHEPCkW3W3ag
prod: grayskies

lyrics:
I tried too hard to make it right
I wish you'd see things from my side
I care too much
I lost my love

you left my place when I was sleeping
you never told me you were leaving
but it's alright
I'll let you waste my time

I see that look up on your face
you told me I was just insane
It turns out I was right
you left me out my sight

you're everything I ever wanted and that's why
I couldn't stand it when you left me out to die

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I'll never be the same
I'll tell you its okay

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I wanna blow my brains
I know I've gone insane

yeah it's all way too much for me
all that I say you disagree
you leave me down, I'm on my knees
all these cuts you make me bleed

passed out, think that I'm anemic
my thoughts leak out, I'm losing my reason
that fake facade, you're so deceiving
my days lately have been repeating

and I can't stand it
they stand there laughing
I wish I was somebody else
I keep my feelings on a shelf

and I'm so done with it all
I don't know how we got this far
should've done this all along
I still don't know where we went wrong

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I'll never be the same
I'll tell you its okay

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I wanna blow my brains
I know I've gone insane

flame

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6GwHgBO97dJItq7V2ynkFF?si=DOxrV-oZSpO58GmT2pHe9w
prod by: dollatega

lyrics:
how many times will we go over this?
how many times I'll have to say goodbye
won't you tell me if you're feeling it
you can't fight the feeling inside

I watched you take a pill and throw it up
and now you're saying you fell out of love
I should of known I wouldn't be enough
(I should of known I wouldn't be enough)

I watched you take a pill and throw it up
and now you're saying you fell out of love
I should of known I wouldn't be enough
(I should of known I wouldn't be enough)

I'll tell you that I've changed
but you know that I'm the same
give me peace of mind, I beg
feel the pressure in my head

I'm falling right to the floor
discarded all my feelings, told me you needed more
you don't know a thing about me, have some things to explore
but with all of that in mind, you still hate me to my core

yeah, you know I'm right
so leave it alone, yeah won't you put it to the side
you tell yourself that it'll all be alright
but you can't fight the feeling inside

I watched you take a pill and throw it up
and now you're saying you fell out of love
I should of known I wouldn't be enough
(I should of known I wouldn't be enough)

I watched you take a pill and throw it up
and now you're saying you fell out of love
I should of known I wouldn't be enough
(I should of known I wouldn't be enough)

hateme2mycore

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/19WtoXcmGbhmyjNAoGVHwd?si=QzVAc_P7Rw2y9cK3OQFmIQ&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A7pOqTKDRDUSjKRyDb4aIxr
prod: michael harrison

lyrics:
(I just don’t want it to turn into a memory)

(music)

Things change, It’s fine
Save face, I’ll try
I’ll wait your time
My fate’s to die

Clear my head of all the thoughts, like a bullet to the brain
Know I overthink a lot, I just needed you to stay
Because of all the things I lost, it’s been driving me insane
It’s the remedy of cost, I don’t have much left to drain

I can’t save you
I can’t even save myself
Do things I’ve got to
Because I hate to ask for help

I see myself in the things that I despise
I’m screaming out for help, but nobody hears my cries
I’m burning up in flames, now my skin is cauterized
I’ve got nothing left to say, I’ll just stand here paralyzed

So leave me be
As I tear at my seams
I can’t breathe
So let me lay here gasping

(I can’t breathe)

(So leave me be)

eternal

spotify:https://open.spotify.com/album/6NcwkiwTI26CXXYPxDVTkn
prod by: morecalcium

lyrics:

[Chorus]

‘Cause baby I’m a mess, you know that
And I might fall dead, yeah right into abstract
Take me by a chain, yeah, I’m way too attached
Drugs inside my brain, I’m feeling unmatched
They all want the same thing
To lose themselves and go insane
They’re addicted to the pain, pain, pain
So put the needle in the vein, vein, vei-vei

[Verse 1]

I don’t feel real, living like a hologram
Try my best to blend in with the crowd, but that’s not who I am
Paranoid and haunted by the voices that live in my head
Visions going triple, and I’m slurring all the words I said

[Bridge]

All these people talking,
They don’t know a single thing about me
I don’t like to leave the house
‘Cause I don’t wanna be seen
I don’t like to share my feelings,
They’re just telling me to breathe
Think I’m slowly going crazy,
I’ve been moving out of sync

[Pre-Chorus]

Yeah, lost my head, now I feel so dumb
Knife to my throat, I might be done
Thoughts in my head, I can’t confront
Think you should leave, I’m not the one

[Chorus]

‘Cause baby I’m a mess, you know that
And I might fall dead, yeah right into abstract
Take me by a chain, yeah, I’m way too attached
Drugs inside my brain, I’m feeling unmatched
They all want the same thing
To lose themselves and go insane
They’re addicted to the pain, pain, pain
So put the needle in the vein, vein, vei-vei

abstract

seventeen ★
solo.to/alkayn
contact: alkaynmusic@gmail.com

alkayn

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