My first attempt in making a chillhop kinda thing

Bored

Alone Again

down

Made this song in 1 day as a self challenge
Lyrics:
Ive been struggling with my self
Is it that hard to see? 
I just wanna be anybody else but not me
I'm selfish, I'm stupid, not wanted, my own parents call me retarded
I creep back inside of my closet
This isn't the life that I wanted

Please lemme pour out the feelings that I have
If I keep it in it just makes me more sad
Every day's a fight with dad and mommy
Only thing that make me happy Louis Vuittoni
I try to make right, end up doing wrong
Wanna take flight  from the building and then fall
I pick up the guitar and I try to write a song
It's the only thing that just makes me feel strong

No matter where I look, I can't find the light
I just keep feeling down even when I try to fight
All this negativity and all these damn lies
Are the reasons why I cry every night
I can't even look at my dad in the eyes
I know he's mad but I just don't know why
If I try to ask him I know he' ll just beat me
I'm stuck in this cage called abuse, I wanna be free

Ive been struggling with my self
Is it that hard to see? 
I just wanna be anybody else but not me
I'm selfish, I'm stupid, not wanted, my own parents call me retarded
I creep back inside of my closet
This isn't the life that I wanted

How do I move on from the past? 
The lies, the hate, the abuse, the habit of
Taking drugs 24/7
Started right before I turned 11
In my senior year, I found a girl who loved me
I remember her clear as day she was so lovely
But I started gambling, the habit's getting worse
Just when I thought I was at my worst
Last night, I had a heart attack
It was too sudden
Like the push of a button
I could feel my whole world turn black
Don't wanna believe that
She was kidnapped, killed and thrown out to the streets
All because of me
My mistakes caused by greed, made me turn green
Now I wanna die
This just isn't right
I just lost my light
I just lost my light

Ive been struggling with my self
Is it that hard to see? 
I just wanna be anybody else but not me
I'm selfish, I'm stupid, not wanted, my own parents call me retarded
I creep back inside of my closet
This isn't the life that I wanted

Put up the noose, put up the noose
(do it x2) 
Put my neck through, put my neck through
(do it x2) 
Don't wanna live, this is the end
(do it x2) 
Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye
(do it x2) 


Allan Recto