prod by allblue

lyrics:
i’ve had enough with malarkey
I try not to tear me apart
carry it all through the artery
gotta get it all out from the heart

back and forth entrancement
I been devilishly dancing
steady questioning my sanity just tryna find the answers
and they set us up for failure
way they selling us this cancer
tell me happiness is easy
guess they never read these stanzas
haunted by the apparition of my past decisions
seen 2020 now we just try to surpass the vision
and i shattered my reflection, only see a glass division in it
just like the women in my life i’m staying independent
whether I liked it or didn’t
i’m just the shell where all my vices fit in
get on the mic and spit it
as if they’d like and spin it
the flame entirely relies upon the life that lit it
i’m dying I admit it

entrancement

1. tweakin
2. hereiam
3. itried
4. yaga
5. brother
6. ambition
7. round!
8. 34
9. syrinz
10. tears
11. mist (2)
12. mmm
13. mizu
14. yoyo
15. revelation
16. coin

mist

prod allblue

lyrics:
i’m afraid of home
i’m the only child now
so all the baggage lays on me
and I’ve let it grow
this house is like a tomb
I can hear the cries and shouts
but when I wanna talk to mom
my body tells me no
we got a war torn past
and I beg we could just let it go
maybe then I wouldn’t go to bed without saying hello
the trauma set in stone
the family unit like an archipelago
we’re one but each of us is lost and alone
my bro across the country
my mom across the room
but they feel equidistant
I know they feel it too


time is allotted
and there ain’t a lot of it
I should spend quality with my kin
but i’m locked in my room when i’m having the thought of it
like i’m locked in the womb
I can hear the home breaking in two
got so much to say but got more shit to fear
rehearsing the words that i’d want them to hear
instead, bow my head and it’s not to revere
I feel the screams
reverberate off of the door where i’m placing my ear
we’ll never be seen
if we cling to our own little islands without sending flares
mom says her greatest regret is teaching my siblings how to neglect
i’m paraphrasing cuz ironically
everything that she says I just tend to forget
she always depressed
and the greatest regret of my own is not sending her texts
and checking up less
than I’d like to on her and her island like all of the rest
all of us lost and alone
so hard to be strong on your own
all of us hurt and alone
so hard to be strong on your own

ARCHIPELAGO

prod allblue

lyrics:
looking at the world but separated by a window
my transparency superimposed
and the apparent apparition of myself enclosed
it mirrors my existence I suppose
boxed in
dim light peeking through the tape
if I died right here
would there even be a trace?
if I cried right here
would my feelings go to waste?
am I really just a waste?

getting through these lectures
working towards the person I don’t wanna be
they tell me that’s the cost of living comfortably
every day i’m more afraid
i’m learning bout reality
circling my days
and find comfort in a fallacy
the world keeps getting colder soon the window turns opaque
and it’s out of my control like someone cut the brakes
if I lay it all out would my feelings go to waste?
am I really just a waste?

waste

prod by allblue

lyrics:
I don’t want to follow your advice
and I don’t think I can swallow
the pills that they prescribe

I put my head down 
my future fell apart faster than descending stars
remember thinking that the world ahead was really ours
times I cherish but I couldn’t stop the blink regardless
nowadays I try hiding from what’s meant to be
blinking so fast there’s moments I can’t even see
might just close my eyes
leave the future behind me
might just let it all go and let the world consign me

blink

HEAVEN HAS A FACE

prod by me :)

lyrics:
Damn how we get here
Peered into the crystal ball and it’s less clear
Adolescence getting sketch you better hold your breath
And maybe never let it go, just keep it on your chest
I’m shouldering this stress but I ain’t make a fuss
Momma says expressing yourself is a must
Everyday I get dressed in a funeral tux
Wake for the mourning while I’m tired as fuck
A dead man can’t worry bout bands 
I’m grateful for the chance
To see my future advance
I ain’t even a man
‘Times it seem like I am
By now I’ve earned my stripes like adidas pants
To be a leader you gotta get out the mud
May seem conceited but I think it’s in my touch
Still I’m 16 comparing myself to puff
My confidence on ice like where they passing the pucks
People say I’m nice
Not sure what they mean
I been hitting this rap shit since I was 13
I’ve progressed a lot but not as much as I need
I’ll never be enough
This is a tiresome greed
If my dreams never come to fruition
It’s just another addition into my inhibition
An incomplete mission
Keep with tradition 
Of life with a piece missing
But nobody’s to miss if I could never leave the kitchen

crystal ball

prod by me :)

lyrics:
These worlds are parallel 
‘Member living, sittin happy on a carousel 
Now I’m trapped inside this world I call a barren cell
Need some time to train my mind cuz I ain’t faring well
I ain’t faring uh

Time is moving fast
Still shit I ain’t getting past
I sit here counting days
While they out there counting cash 
They don’t pay no mind
I stay out here keeping tabs
One day I’m bound to blast
I’ve held it down with laughs
But I can’t keep this energy I’ve heard expression helps
These last weeks a frown’s the only expression I’ve felt
We talked about the past
Recollection was dealt
Don’t know if I can last
This shattered reflection of self
Uh
Gotta think and recompose
One blink I was seeing souls 
Emotional comatose
I toast to the ones who know
So I’m toasting it on my own uh
You wanna talk it out I’d rather hear the tone
I been told I better watch mine
Utilize my anger I’m ignoring all the stop signs
Comforting my brother on the curb
Shit we’ve never felt in years
Start to reflect, stare in a bucket of tears

(Hook)

worlds

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Dodging questions like a matador
Every time I fell there was no padded floor
Fuck the school grades this music matters more
Living with my cousins I ain’t had a door
Created my own the locks were padded
Sorta sad that I dun sat ashore
While everybody prosper around me 
They acting so reckless
Chains been holding me down 
And I got no necklace
They outgoing
I don’t even go out
Tryna be an idol
Yet I’m too shy to row out
This stings harder than a yellow jacket
Feelings boxed in like I bubble wrapped it
Life’s a war and I been thinking about another tactic
Either way I’m always caught up in some action
Slits on my palm from the pacts I made 
Back in the day
When this rapping was passionate, getting past my days
Wasn’t taxing
Write a verse or else I’ll go insane, batshit
Now a verse be driving me insane, been slacking
Use to say I’m pragmatic but I never have been
ill fortune’s automatic i just let it happen
And my passions live nomadically 
Remember back then
When I felt like people liked me or at least myself did
Nowadays my psyche really need protection 
When I look at my reflection I just miss affection
Pray this music is a blessing not a misdirection
Not a misdirection

PRAY

prod. nobody

lyrics:
I ain’t joking when I say I’ve had some dark nights 
Deep discussions til they turning on the park lights
I’ve thrown my hopes right out the window like a bar fight
Uh
It’s hard to sleep with these scarred eyes
And these cursed ears
I pray we’ve gotten through the worst years
How your family the root of all your worst fears?
I cleanse myself of all the feeling when I serve tears
Just a numb body tryna be a somebody
Hard to smell the roses when the nose runs snotty
I’ll prolly end up at a desk with countless regrets
Maybe look upon this past as a fun hobby
With a chuckle like the people lookin down on me
Shit’s fishy man my life on the line
Been debating my demons
They tryna tackle my pride 
Got an angel on the other side 
Racking my mind
I ain’t tryna do backflips to bag in the dimes
Tryna strive unsigned
Can’t even live independent 
Yeah I’m tryna take it home
Really gettin the pennant
Life only getting harder didn’t think that they meant it
Poof! there goes all my hope
Need to tell it and penn it
Stay glancing out my window like a damsel in distress
Mind wandering
Ain’t no telling where it’s headed next
And I fear I’m headed nowhere
Bandolier across my chest
Just to fight off all my fears
More weary with every step

NIGHTS

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Sorry momma 
Don’t want you to be lonely
Just wanna be alone
Trying not to keep it phony
My face buried in these pillows deep as all my love
And though my love is strong I will say you barely know me
It ain’t your fault and I know
In case you need me I’m close
But I prefer the case cold
And so the cases stay closed
Just like my door
I say my rhetoric is poor
You’d prolly lift me up and push me to be better than before
But as we distance I suspect it gets harder to understand
Tryna pick apart myself
I got the straws within my hand
And the last one is coming soon
Could count the days on my hands
Momma claims that I’m entranced
Then she claim that I’m advanced huh
This relationship is cancer
They cancelled everyone I promise I’m the answer 
I say my mantras 
And pray to Him above
If I can’t fit this glove
Please fix this broken love

MOMMA

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Hitting the sack
This ceiling gives feelings I wish I ain’t had
Tryna get bags
Found em right under my lashes
Lashing out cuz of my past
I need a rest
Pops used to hold me to chest
Now he hold me to the standards he set
Now I gotta keep these stanzas in check
Discomfort in fam so I ran to my set
And I’m never gon deal with it uh
No matter the case
I keep it brief and I shield from it 
So many years and I’m still running
Still running
For temporary bliss
It’s been cold since birth I’m a January kid
Snow fall into my fist
Reminiscent of my dreams melting at my fingertips 
Tryna catch z’s but I keep wildin
Like the mattress is a ceiling for the beasts hiding
Saw the past in a dream
And that shit’s violent
I’m expressing all my feelings when I speak silence
Blood runs thick I might drown in it
All my water turned to wine and they downing it
Nowhere left to go
I’m surrounded
Tryna drown it out leave me frowning
Frowning

FROWNIN'

prod. nobody

lyrics:
I fought all my own battles huh
Remember when the snakes had me rattled
Had to toughen up
And I’m still toughening
This rapping shit used to be a puppy love
Now it’s my whole passion
They could give a fuck
They saw the mic and picked it up
I saw the mic and let it sit
Never thought I’m good enough
I still ain’t met my requisites 
I say it’s ambition but my folks say that it’s recklessness 
Honestly I’m restless
Exclamation for the emphasis
Thinking maybe I ain’t meant for this
Too many tears I’ve cried
Hurt that still ain’t mended yet
I wrote this verse
The paper wet just as I’m penning it
There’s even more beneath the surface
With the sediment
And with this sentiment
I hope to strive
Overcome these foreboding times
Lord knows I’ve tried
This my confession
Now I’ve spoke the crimes
No lies
This shit is bonafide 
No lies 
This shit is bonafide

BONAFIDE

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Bad blood
I be looking down to see the souls
Get angrier as I get old
And more knowledge make me cold
Been made aware to what been here along
I been so alone
Beneath the surface is so low
Beneath the burdens there’s a kid
Nobody see unless you show em
Surprised my momma’s pride isn’t mummified
I know that mine is
She don’t even know my grind
Please forgive me for my shyness
I know sometimes I might be mindless
You take all the weight with kindness
Don’t repay you much
Uh
Never saying much
Uh
They wanted change I never gave a buck
Same roof separate lives 
Same booth different lies
Same dude many passions
Didn’t suit me, cut the ties
Blood run thinner by the day
See my brother don’t know what to say
Granny didn’t recognize my face
Looked into the mirror, felt the same
Like a sniper, loving long distance 
Too much time alone is lonely living
Wish to bear the barest fruits
Straws the only thing I’m picking
Hide when I am needed most
If I can’t see it, it can’t be imposed
Eyes closed
I ain’t seen the ropes
All the nicest people mean the most
They try to hold me in their cove
I wanna flee the coast
I tend to flee the coast
I tend to flee the coast

BLOOD

prod. nobody shoutout @jordanisdead

lyrics:
verse 1 (allblue):

Trying so hard to be happy
Making up what my memories lack
Remember crying in the back seat
Counting the blessings we had
Counting
Uh
Counting the blessings we had
I used to think I won’t last
Tryna be better at last
Alas
Not sure it’s possible 
Man
Didn’t shed a tear when my granny never came out of that hospital
Jotting my cons til it’s comical
Desensitized and I tell not a soul
Uh
No cap but it’s bottled though
Tryna learn that I am not alone
At this point I don’t know

verse 2 (Jordanisdead):

so alone, so alone that it’s ripping to my bone 
so hypnotized that they disregard my tone 
looking at the world we’re shown, how can we not feel alone?

silent travels, evolve to these violent battles
serving serpents, disguised with these vibrant rattles 
refugees escape the fleet, amongst the infantry’s defeat, im just a sailor lost at sea

swear to god i recognizing my reflection 
please dear god, you gave me a chance, i’m begging for a second 
i know that i been living reckless 
i left it as a ghost when I walked up out of that wreckage 

now me and my uncle are adjacent i guess 
and i’m pacing with no rest, and i’m anxious for death 
armageddon, please don’t save me with the rest 
uncle lee, i’m getting closer as i chase your every step 
like 

verse 3 (allblue):

So much self doubt it could go around
Insecurities that I don’t even know about
They say embrace your impurities 
They’ll take ya down
So desensitized from never having made a sound
We cower still
I’ll be shocked if I get to know how power feel
Uh
So I count blessings
Account for every bit of hope before my evanescence 
It’s a depressing presence
I’m 16 really worried bout death
Wanna make history
I mean, when 12 done
Nobody’ll be left to miss me
Dark hoodie just to match my psyche
Still catch me bawling in my bed
And balling up so tightly
Show no emotion
I was socially distancing way before the COVID 
Push myself to being lonely I’m just that devoted
Really nothin’s as it seem I just sugar coat it
I just sugar coat it

BLESSINGS (feat. jordanisdead)

prod. nobody

lyrics:
All my days so azul 
My own mind been tryna play me for a fool
Been lost 
We ain’t won in a minute uh
Got lots of work to do
When things fall apart you best pick up the tools
And get to work with it
Desperately reconstructing til it hurt again
Can’t grasp reality
When I’m gone the birds still gonna chirp man
Only way to live is through another person
I still distance
A crippling hypocrite who begs no assistance 
All I see is closed blinds but I swear I got the vision
Can’t grow out of the sadness nor in rap with this division
I keep swearing it will change
Fall in their places, rearrange
Yeah these notions so deranged 
Pain is such a bitter tang
I spit it on the mic and still my mindset is the same
Yeah this rapping is my truth huh
Thought it’s supposed to set you free huh
Guess I’m lying in the booth man
When the lion shows it’s teeth
This where you find what’s left of me

AZUL

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Making amends
Shaking some hands
Fall in a pit 
Do it again
Do it again
Losing my shit
Losing my friends
Throwing a fit
Using my pen 
Inking the tip 
Watching it float
Sinking the ship
Sinking the ship

The wisest words are most quietly spoke
We crashed and burned I signaled with the smoke
They kicked my SOS’s off the coast
Now we in different boats
And though it’s shitty, this the one I chose
They swear they know me, struggle never been the same
Dodging COVID, homies on a different strain
Uh
Maybe no one understands my pain
I don’t know myself, I may just be insane
I be talking to my momma hazardly
Learning everything ain’t how it has to be
Or how it should at least
Tripping over people that I couldn’t please
Tripping over me
Uh
Young man, plate full but he starving
Try to stay cool
Try to be an artist
Dreams fetched far it’s alarming
If I made it, doubt I’d face the stardom

Making amends
Shaking some hands
Fall in a pit 
Do it again
Do it again
Losing my shit
Losing my friends
Throwing a fit
Using my pen 
Inking the tip 
Watching it float
Sinking the ship
Sinking the ship

AMENDS

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Ain’t been making sense
I been tryna keep it buck
Just tryna be honest cuz myself just ain’t enough
Talking to my momma, love the way she lift me up
Ain’t seen my father in a minute I just pray he missing us
I felt abandoned like that day I missed the bus
Let that shit haunt me cuz I never made a fuss
One day I’m gonna pop and let the puss run
Momma get to feeling down she got a plus one
Got my big boy pants
Came with no buckle
Got my own chin and it broke my own knuckles
And there’s nothing below it
Tip toeing over trash from a wanna be poet
I’m a stoic
Wash my hands in the grief that we knowing
The only way to get clean
Keep flowing

get clean

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Been tryna focus on my pen lately
Seen my homies blowing up it made me think maybe
I could really do it
Reflect on shit that I been through it’s really been crazy
Now we gotta move it
Blood red ink
Mistakes I made
Are laid upon the pages
Learning how to turn em with the ages
Told myself that I just need patience
So I carry these emotions like a keepsake
My mirror seeing bleak faces
But I been told that nothing ever lasts
Hope that ain’t applying to my raps
I been checking in my bag like we at the port
Scribbling these rhymes
My first and last resort
Finally found a home I couldn’t ask for more

allblue

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