wasnt this a different song, can u post it again if u want

restless failure

you cover your eyes

i knew that you were up to something
everyone knew they told me all about it
if you were in my shoes i know that youd be drowning
in sadness and doubt that nobody loves you
becuase thats how i feel
i know that you wont get it but its worth a try
i hope im not alive when hes on your side
i woke up so hung over that i called your line
i know that you dont love me theres no point in trying
im not alright i need more drugs to keep me fine
and feel alive and feel alive and feel alive and feel alive

alive

less special

i never cared about how you feel no i didnt ill do anything to get in your bed when i wake up i set my alarm the same as yours because i read it last time that you let me in i try to run into you everywhere i go it doesnt work now you must be catching on you must be so scared the first few times is just coincedence but i know you know now now you know what i want what i want from you now you know what i want what i want from you now you know what i want what i want from you now you know what i want what i want from you

coincidence

don't know why u hit my phone
i no longer have a voice
r u stuck in my ring tone?
u can call back
but it won’t phone home
i can’t speak out my mouth
with a rope around my throat
don’t stop by
room full of house flies
save ur own eyes
cus i met my demise
rotting away in my room like i used to
it’s forever and i wish i never knew u ppl
but i guess since i’m gone u can do u
hey hey :p

dont stop by room full of house flies

my lungs hurt from yesterday
cant let anyone in my hearts filled with hate
look in your shiny eyes i cry when you shake
and it rained so hard i forgot my name

lungs from yesterday

x,..,~ @deadpunchy

belt around my arm
just tell me when
theres something in my eye
i need you here
do i stay on my side
i forgot what you said
when i look in your eyes
im filled with fear

you told me
that i would be
nothing without you
it turns out not true
thoughts in my head
dont know why
would you care
knew it all from the beginning
knew life wasnt fair
feel like shaving my hair
no its not a dare
see through you
and its clear
but you knew
im right here
but your driving
me near
know you want me
to steer

belt around my arm with punchy

track list
1 i know where its going to begin
2 worms on the ground
3 flutter away
4 demo #1
5 demo #2

i know where its going to begin demos

they was askin me like.. wat i do

but i dont wanna flex it they look at my necklace
they sayin "where u got it from?" i cant say
they sayin "u so gothic huh" well okay...
why am i the topic ummm cause i pave
and you think im so honest umm well im not
no i never wanted ya cause ur a thot
idk whats wrong with ya ru a bot?
i'm not really common uhh but you'll see lots of me around
i cut myself cause i think about success 
i havent gotton to it yet so i gotta impress
everyday i wake up i compare and i get pressed
cause i know everybody is better and im less
my heart on the floor but its rolling away slowly
couldn't fuck a whore cause then i'd think she owes me
i love myself too much yeah ur lucky if i touch
stupid bitch stupid slut dont ever get ahead of yourself
well wait thats kind of ironic cuz im ahead of myself in the ego department 
yeah im self aware as fuck and i just talked so retarded
hate the way i say shit now look what you just started
cause i know, cause i know, itll always be another fucking no
it always be another fucking show that i have to go to on my own
cause i snaked by my bros, it feels fake cause im on my phone
but its on dnd do not disturb, if i saw myself i would make me eat the curb
i dont like me but i think i just earned everything i got and i think its my turn
but oh my god its so lonely oh my god theyre all phony i swear this is fraud

self aware

Puddle Of Her Blood

@helenimsorry prod. sickboi
makes me so sad this was the last song we ever made, was supposed to be a whole ep together. i love you so much bro there isn't a day that goes by where i dont think about all the stupid funny memories we made, rest up bro. i only keep this going for you.

(Helen)
My heart cold like mint,
Got you wet like your wrist.
Went and killed all your friends—
That's how the story ends.
I don't know what I did better to make amends,
But I'll do it again so you lose your shit.
Wake up—same day, same place, your face,
No makeup.
Anyways, I'll rape your corpse 'til the window breaks.

I'll take anything,
'Cause almost anything is better than this.
It makes me sick.
Don't care what you think about what I did,
Since I'd do it again, 'cause it hards my dick.

(Nancy)
I hate your guts,
But you hate mine anyway.
I'd burn it all if I had to—let it decay.
I don't get it, why am I so obsessed with you?
Stab me in the back, you do it—yes, it's true.
I'll lose my mind over her a couple times.
Why do I spend it all on her—every last fucking dime?
I think she wants me to die.

You'll take everything, it'll last you a bit,
'Til you come running back and you know you're wrong.
Ooo, you know you fucked up.
I hate everything and I wanna go back.

If I could, you know I fucking would.
But now she's a dumb slut and I don't wanna go back to that.

helen & nancy - same day same place

beat by @prodpishogue

feel like ive heard it all before
as i fall into the floor
got nowhere that i can run to
17, what has my life come to
singin to bands i cry in my room
i cant eat nothing i sleep past noon
give u all my heart when i talk to u
but be careful its fragile its not immune
im so boring i feel the same pain over and over again
i was 10 years old i was never alone but i cant go back to then
im racking my brain
lookin for answers
but im hungover
im just as worthless as that trash you threw away, maybe even lower
i get lost in the clouds could get lost in your eyes if youd let me
i get lost in my head, will you think of me or forget me

hungover (casper's pishogue)

STICKS AND STONES / TIL IM 30

Instrumental & Vocals produced, composed, performed & written 
by Lewis Addison Rudd

coincidence

alphie afterlife

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