Subtle break

like little flowers

Joy of Winter

The issue of the survival of my social honor.

The issue of the survival of my economic life.

The issue of the survival of my family relationships.

The issue of the survival of my health.

And yet another issue of survival on a different scale.

The survival of the community.

Any problem that concerns me as an individual seemed, at least on the surface, like something that could be renewed at any time depending on my mindset — whether by adopting an attitude of “detachment” or by choosing to “forget everything and start anew.”

However, the president of the country using the military — the very force meant to protect the nation — to eliminate everyone who stood in his way felt like a problem of an entirely different scale.

The uncertainty surrounding the fate of the community — the nation to which I belong.

Is this problem something that lies beneath my own life concerns, or above them?

Or is it merely a different kind of problem that exists on the same plane?

In terms of the distress it causes, the two feel similar.

But in terms of the scale of chaos brought by uncertainty, the latter seems far greater.

Yet ultimately, everything comes back to “my life.”

And the issue of “my life” always comes back to “this very moment.”

Right now, I am angry.

Right now, I am anxious and restless.

Right now, there is no peace in my heart.

Right now, I feel incapable of doing anything.

This is who I am right now.

No denial, no effort to change,

Cease all resistance.

I pour my present self into the piano.

I express who I am right now.

Honesty.

Without embellishment, without interpretation or intention,

Simply expressing what I am in this moment.

Authenticity.

Completely attuned to that.

And only the “present” exists.

Tune to inner authenticity

Listening practice 26 Mar 2025

With wings of wonder, into the Unknown

Feel like you're not ready to play or to create? I couldn't play for days, and I just got curious if I would be able to play without any 'readiness'. I went to piano and just started. Then it came, and I don't know anything about 'should' or 'shouldn't' in this piece, but it was just enough to release something from my inner space. I feel blessed.

An untold confession

Insomnia and the Infinite

Ripple of that

Nicolas Jaar-And I say (MoM slow edit)

Improvise 28 Aug 19

https://bio.site/QLN

Every day is a life time, and in it the piano play, flowing without direction, meeting the Now

Ripple of that

amihailoven

Related tracks