Hello (part 1)

Blow, Wind (part 2)

Harmonium Warmup :: The harmonium has a complicated history originating in the period of British rule in India. It is a beautiful drone instrument, like a tiny reed organ with a hand pump, and I discovered it years ago as a piano player in search of something portable, loud and organic. 

Shared here is a mic-on moment just before I recorded harmonium for our @formerlyalien concept album this past summer. I used to do sound at the end of @theclass or @loveyoga classes and it’s a really comfortable place for me, to open up and let my voice hang out over a fluffy bed of drone tones. 

Image is of my actual harmonium for the session in its temporary temple of adulation, a DIY sound booth in our basement studio in Ojai. The instrument was generously loaned by @cooperladnier and it was perfect. 

More drone tones + voice to come in 2022.

Harmonium Warmup

On healing, forgiveness and perseverance of the heart.

How can you tell
I’m somewhere else, held by the past
Forgive and forget, we said - but the feelings last

I’ve never known such joy and pain to be so intertwined, to be so much the same
Can you tell, I’m somewhere else again

But I want to love again
Yeah I want to love full of hopeful everlasting again
To be at home, again

In this same city, I’m starting over turned inside out
God’s got new plans, and there ain’t nothing left to figure out
Haven’t you seen it, seen someone destroy their story on center stage?
Sometimes it’s the only way to turn the page

I want to love
I want to love
I want to love again
Don't want to be here forever
Again

Love Again

understand 
that I didn’t know, I didn’t have a plan 
for how it would end 

and understand 
I meant every word when we tumbled in 
to a story unfolding  

please believe  
I saw all the ways you were steady you 
stood in one place as I burned it down 
to start over, and how it tumbled you 
I’ll never know 

hold my hand 
and look in my eyes and know I’m sorry you 
were harmed in the process of making me 
thrown in reverse, I start melting 

that scene on the front porch, caving in 
til the communion of everything 
leads to a dead end, or am I guilty? 
I’ll settle the blame and then set you free 
the way to keep loving you is to set you free 
I tried to explain and you tried to see 
I tried to explain, you tried to see   
til there was nothing left 

understand 
that I didn’t know, I didn’t have a plan 
for how it would end

Understand

Shit Happens

I never go too long
until I find something wrong 
Another story another day 

I used to think the road 
was filled with rocks and stones
I tried to kick them out of my way 

How many days did we spend in haze trying 
To defend, defend ourselves against the end of the world 

Whoa, Shit Happens 
Shit Happens
Shit Happens
and you gotta let go…. 
You gotta let it flow 
 
Whoa, Shit Happens 
Shit Happens
Shit Happens
and you gotta let go….

Amy Batara (Amy Merrill)

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