when you loop for about 30 minutes

I don't know who i'm ripping off, but it's someone

 could love most
what a long list of hopes
but if ÿøû have mine
never mind i’d prolly say no
i’m sure you’ve heard this before

i should confess
wrap ÿøû up in a dress
act like a saint
leave ÿøû covered in paint all alone
i’ve never really danced before

i alright
just a little hurt and confused
if ÿøû feel the same
just know i’ll never satisfy ÿøû

act like a wreck
what we’ve come to expect
only a loss
if your able to bet or elope
not even sure anymore

it’s starting to burn
tired from turns
give me a break
a kit kat mistake
fuck that’s dumb


i'm alright (not even a demo, this is literally the first time playing the song)

Blank Space

keep her on your night stand
on a weekend to just sleep in
the last ÿøû see at night
and the first when ÿøû wake again

can’t keep your hands off of her
idly taping her skin
ÿøû couldn’t live without her
ÿøû have a meltdown have a fit

but she doesn’t love ÿøû at all
or even know ÿøû exist

keep her in your pocket
pull her out when ÿøûr lonely
ignore the friends around ÿøû
she’s got your undivided attention

used to be big and beautiful
but now they're all flat and thin
face glows bright as a sun
but she get’s tired and dim

but she doesn’t love ÿøû at all
or even know ÿøû exist

Riddle

wardrobe full of clothes unworn and
bookshelf of books unopened and
we’re all saving for someday

can’t count the time i left this world and
obsessed with a girl that aren’t even real and
we’re all living for something

but what’s true
and what’s not
as comprehensible as conscious though
ÿøû may have a feeling that we prolly should stop
and that’s a legitimate opinion

bought a watch i never look at
got a phone i never call on
this is a verse to fill space

wanted to watch the new season of black mirror
but the isolated feeling messes with my head
isn’t that ironic (don’t ÿøû think?)

like, i'm just saying i want someone to hold me after the episode

let’s go to the party
stay out all night
i’m a good drunk driver
we’ll get home all right

but the party’s a delusion
always ends when we arrive 
what a waste of time

lets put out the fire
get the story straight
never agreed on a timeline
never agreed on the place

but ÿøû know i’m obliging
to the fantasies ÿøû embrace
if i can participate

and ÿøû can say ÿøû love me
but why promise that would never change
cause a moments singular
and love is infinite if not caged

the feeling overwhelms
ÿøûr psyche devastates
something to work on
calmly contemplate

don’t think ÿøû can help it
when ÿøû lock up and shake
And I claim that i relate

hard to unravel
ÿøûr mind is opaque
curious prodding
just exacerbates

i think i could halt it
the pain ÿøû instantiate
if you’d stop pushing me away

could ÿøû say ÿøû love me
so i can at hear it in my memory
cause a lifetimes singular
and love is finite when tamed

i admit i falter
from all the weight
but we could allocate
some for ÿøû
and some for me

like a timeshare for depression and anxiety
a hard sell i’m sure, but ÿøû got the equity

Equity

who’s banging on my door
oh it’s just me
i don’t belive
i forgot my keys

if ÿøû know what i want
can ÿøû give it to me
a carousel of thought
or are they memories
it won’t be for long
cause i got a date to keep
but if ÿøû like the part
where ÿøû sit uncomfortably

i know a place where we can escape
where all of ÿøûr faults are completely erased
it’s not very far, but the street is one way
and if ya scared of the dark
i’d advise ÿøû remain

i’m sick of these phone calls
it never rings
when i need
ÿøû to talk to me

Edgy

Then i noticed ÿøû stop looking away
is this forever or just one day

it’s telling that this doesn’t feel the same

but ÿøû know the truth
of what we could do
with the slightest understanding to prove
what i mean when i say
though i have yet to say
i love ÿøû	

all at once or at idle pace
volatile past to contain
know your not looking for a flame
but i’m a perfect match
To incinerate

with a word ÿøû could shut me down
with a smile i’d cave
honesty not qualified to take ÿøû out
subterfuge ashamed

as much as i put ÿøû on a pedestal
still think i can reach
trapped inside a cage of complacency
and anxiety

I know all ÿøûr moves
like i haven’t made them too
and if ÿøû’ve feeling a little low on the social rank
ÿøû can make a joke at my expense about my mental state

truth is we’d rather an alcoholic
than this fuck boy sex addict
and if ÿøûr feeling attacked by ÿøûr friends
well can ÿøû be friends with a dick

on the topic of phalluses
i have a reputable source
that can confirm ÿøûr not good for much
except consistently good sex and boring monologues

i know all ÿøûr moves
cause their the same as mine
from when i was 24 and i still tried
by the way i think ÿøûr on the spectrum too
ÿøû love to brain dump and miss social cues

Shots Fired

ÿøû are my best friend
but ÿøû give really shitty advice
don’t expect me to be ÿøû
like i expect myself to be kind

and if ÿøû want me to feel it
then i’ll blow it up
i can’t handle the come down
don’t give a junkie a needle
when he’s asking for help
i just can’t handle the come down
no delusions of love
when i’m so hesitant
i can’t handle the come down
but ÿøû can’t hate me
more than i hate myself
not much to unpack here
i’ve processed enough

ÿøû are my best friend
but i feel pretty shitty inside
don’t expect me to be ÿøû
don’t expect me to be kind

all failed relations
stem from character flaws
or sexual inadequacy
and ÿøû shouldn’t pretend
that ÿøû want to be alone
if ÿøû fall in love so easily

white bread missionary fuck’n great value jude law looking motherfucker please
ÿøû shouldn’t try to fall in love
if ÿøûr a shitty person who just acts nicely

Plot Twist, The song was about me the whole time

i sure got a witty tongue	
for an ugly girl
that’s the best about me
to describe myself i’m sure

i think i’m so clever
laugh at my own jokes
some ironic turn of phrase
like what if Gods sends “Prayers and thoughts”

i’ll concede the truth is what i hide
i honestly wish i could confide
but who’s hurting worse cause it’s not I
but i’d be the first to imply

cut out the cathartic lines
like ÿøû really need a reason to talk
At least we didn’t meet on tinder
so there is no expectation to get ÿøû off

cause i got an obsession with depression
and a knack for sophomoric poems
this is the part where i explain the line
so that ÿøû know ÿøû’re in on the joke

there’s more to this than nothing
but that’s a lie
but i quite like the conflict of netorare

Netorare

i just wanna prove to myself
what do ÿøû got to lose
that is any less imperminent
then the life ÿøûr scared to use

cause this motif i harp on
oh it's hardly new
so if i sound repetitive
i am my only muse


if ÿøû wanna know how to conform i’m ÿøûr guy
should i take pride in being somebody everybody likes
contrite from being inadequate when i try
cause i can’t do enough, and ÿøû i hardly satisfy

friends could ÿøû tell me why

cause i don’t feel i even tried

and if live with the self-contempt
stoping every intention and attempt
i must have learned this fault from somewhere

i’m may be scared to die
but i’m absolutely scared to live
watch me as i pirouette
hiding myself again

all i got is good news
but i tell it with an awful spin

I'll prolly be alright

honesty ain’t romance, cause love’s deception
if i was pretty enough ÿøû should still swipe left
don’t think ÿøû should settle for me i’m worthless at best

i don’t believe in soul mates
ÿøûr not the one

but i idolize a possible romance for people like us

shit

i know how the story ends
but where did it start
the disillusion of an aspirational heart

it’s variations on love, self-misandry
nihilism and me
if i could change it don’t ÿøû think i’m smart enough to adjust

that’s it
that’s the trick
most crippling of all
i’m sorry if anyone can relate to this
all my friends
i wish we didn’t exist

told me not let it bother me
but then i’m really just existing

just get down on my knees
begging the therapy gods to heal me

if ÿøû feel the numbness bleed off me
i’d hate to cause ÿøû empathy

that came off a little sarcastically
but i meant it most sincerely but this next bit….hehe

so come on down
to the white liberal cishet male guilt party
we got a lot of ideas and we need ÿøû to agree

the crux of the issue is i feel premature enlightenment and i can’t break through others AT fields to make honest human connections

so mom says i might be clinically depressed
i need to get some help
guess i’ll help myself

the disillusion of an aspirational heart (the white liberal cishet male guilt party)

Illuminati

time
ÿøû got time
and ÿøû don’t
realize

she won’t ever
look at life the same again
oh ÿøû changed it
oh boy did ÿøû change it
for the best

kind
ÿøû so kind
and ÿøû hope
he finds

he won’t ever
look at life the same again
oh ÿøû changed it
oh lass did ÿøû change it
for the best

sign
just a sign
if it’s cold
we got fire

they won’t ever
look at life the same again
oh they changed it
oh how they changed it
for the best

For the Best (Acoustic)

i see where ÿøûr coming from
i can relate

just a little fantasy
that sticks in ÿøûr brain

how disempowering
that idle uneasy~

~repeated fixation from mild instigation 
with a smile ÿøû fake it; that whiplash ideation

i don’t have to say that i love ÿøû 
to say that i care

when ÿøû tell me ÿøûr lonely
i wish i was there

i don’t mean in ÿøûr bed or in ÿøûr arms
though given enough alcohol i’m sure some clothes could come off

i don’t have to say i love ÿøû
to say that i care
but i care more than some lovers and i have no outlet

i wish this was a selfless tune
just another love i can’t use

Do ÿøû want to know how I feel about ÿøû, or should i just like...not?

tell me the hard truth
tell me some old news

if ÿøûr waiting for nothing
then nothing will come to ÿøû
ÿøûr still wanting
ÿøû don’t know what ÿøû want
so fixated on the empty spaces of the heart

sell me on distration
marketed as a quick love
i can barely keep engaged with ÿøû
i’m bored as ÿøû offer to fuck

i’d rather discuss it theoretically 
so i hope ÿøû like to hear me talk
as much as i do

what could ÿøû want anyway
aren’t ÿøû bright enough
to fulfill the desire alone

Anatrok

Popular tracks