got back together in middle of November .AHH. made it through a couple of months. 'yeah?'
 it all fell through now what do I do. 'oh no!'
homeless again, now hear what I'm saying what the f*** am I going to do?
two kids under two and another one due. take a look Andrew, learn what you gotta do. 
go back together in middle of November made it through a couple of months. broke up in February found out January she was pregnant again. 
rewind a couple weeks, when she said to take a beat. Kicked out of my own house.
 need a place of own a place to call home for three kids in time plus I. 
 everything she promised it was all pointless as I'm "so paranoid" Fuckin more than annoyed as I've just been toyed.. over and over again, says it's all my head just more disappointment I'm fed even when your face is dark red. 
I know what to do so cheers to fuck you heres to my future and more.

in November

will keep which version does best, please let me know in the comments ☺️

dreaming man ft woman

Patiently waiting for these five days to pass so I see you two.
Always feels like forever I miss you finding it hard to fill my days with things To do and take my mind off knowing I'm not with you.
Being separated in a family is the hardest thing anyone has to go through, there's many others like me so I'll make it work undoubtedly. 
To My kids I miss. I wish it never had to come to this. It's the way it is cuz of the way it was and that wasn't fair on any of us. The pain the struggle the loud mouths from the struggling couple it wasnt fair on you two. So leaving was the hardest but the only thing I could do. tried to make it work but the harder I tried the more it was torn.
I love you don't ever forget it I'd give my life to give you a second. You two my angels sent from heaven my girls my highest possession I would give anything for you and would do anything to see it through. Your loving daddy sending love from afar know you're in my heart no matter where you are think and remember to look up were underneath the same stars. Love from daddy.i miss you.

love daddy

Specimen

You and Me

wakening up (intro)

I used to think my hands could mend the fractures in the earth
Rearrange the broken pieces, give a new creation birth
But the world keeps spinning onward, indifferent to my plea
A symphony of sorrow, played on repeat for me
Now I stand on level ground, two feet planted firm and deep
The weight of the world's a burden I no longer have to keep
I see the cracks in the pavement, the fault lines in the soul
But I've found a quiet solace, a peace that makes me whole
The knowledge of the darkness, the shadows and the light
It doesn't offer answers, but it helps me see the sight
Of a world both beautiful and broken, a tapestry of grace
Where even in the chaos, I can find my rightful place
Now I stand on level ground, two feet planted firm and deep
The weight of the world's a burden I no longer have to keep
I see the cracks in the pavement, the fault lines in the soul
But I've found a quiet solace, a peace that makes me whole
I may not change the world, but I can change my view
Embrace the imperfections, the messy and the true
Find strength in the stillness, the quiet of the dawn
And rise each day with purpose, though the battles may be drawn
Now I stand on level ground, two feet planted firm and deep
The weight of the world's a burden I no longer have to keep
I see the cracks in the pavement, the fault lines in the soul
But I've found a quiet solace, a peace that makes me whole
On level ground I stand, my heart both light and free
Accepting what I cannot change, and finding peace in me.

The Level Ground I Found

Disconnected, fragmented view
Third person, watching me and you
Thoughts adrift, a swirling tide
Psychedelic echoes, nowhere to hide
Manipulated, pulled apart
Frontal cortex, a broken heart
DMT whispers, secrets untold
Floating shelf, story unfolds
Separated, never whole
Lost in space, losing control
Echoes in the emptiness, a fractured scene
Ripples in the stillness, what does it mean?
Floating shelf perspective, a distant gaze
Trapped in this illusion, a timeless maze
Surfaces shifting, reality bends
One spot or nowhere, the journey never ends
This and that, a fragmented plea
Searching for solace, a place to be free
The weight of the world, a heavy shroud
Lost in the whispers, speaking aloud
Echoes in the emptiness, a fractured scene
Ripples in the stillness, what does it mean?
Floating shelf perspective, a distant gaze
Trapped in this illusion, a timeless maze
Psychedelic whispers, a haunting call
Breaking the barriers, watching it all
Detached observer, a silent plea
Yearning for connection, wanting to see
Echoes in the emptiness, a fractured scene
Ripples in the stillness, what does it mean?
Floating shelf perspective, a distant gaze
Trapped in this illusion, a timeless maze
Floating, drifting, fading away
In this psychedelic disarray
Third person view, a distant gleam
Lost in the echoes, a fragmented dream

Floating Shelf

You think I'm being mean I just like punctuality that's honestly the truth the reality. Jester you are a hilarious joke while you go about chasing your best friends bloke. Sick in the head. 
You take the piss with you,  ignorance is bliss. I say things how they is and that wakes a fury in you and you ignite. (Combustible disposable.)
You say your done.(I wish)  Done again, done with me. truth is I wish you were done a while ago and left me alone instead of sending kisses and implying false hope where there is none, kids notice when your late and then you give me shit assuming I said it to them that (mummy's been ages)  instead of asking or taking a minute to ask me or simply reflect on yourself and ask or see I said nothing... They notice.  They notice everything and miss nothing.
My part of daddying is
Affectionate love instead of love being bought. No material things or eye bling. there's no competition just pure affection from me. You were with me 5 years id think you would know this if you said you know me instead of blame shifting and humiliating me. Your sanity is unsanatery and it's toxic keep it to yourself and away from my pure heart for I gave everything as you tore me apart.

punctuality

I seem to be changing Body
 is rearranging 
Without recollections or Registration 
for this instinct I'm experiencing Something is wakening up Inside Intuition is firing up Gut feelings are kicking in Reminiscing of past for demonstrations Regretful times of not listening To my inner My inner intuition Internal updating troubleshooting Time for a reboot New hardware Rid old software Reboot Installation of programme attitude and outlook Perception and toxicity recognition Making decisions fast don't hesitate Anymore Feels good with lush taste It's all coming full circle It almost feels like fate intuition waking up Intuition waking up Time for a reboot Reboot Reboot I See you more clearly now A near miss just grazing My heart But I still feel, left me without You You You Changed me forever Made children for legacy training Lucky you just grazed me Like a rabbit in headlights Stayed blinded Change is considered Life changing Or dangerous By dangerous for who I mean it all depends on you. Do I scare you? I see things for what they are Not how the seem Not blinded from your demeaning charm Anymore Tho I'm fully aware I don't know the full extent of it yet still got distance on the recovery trip Chances to get over it dont slip Seeing you more clearly Makes me rest more easily I know it hasn't been all me You you You Tried to make me insane Telling me all kinds of things It wasn't all paranoia Time for a reboot Reboot I See you more clearly now A near miss just grazing My heart But I still feel, left me without You You



I seem to be changing  (Reboot)

I seem to be dreaming Body revisiting Traumatising situations Deviating Please Wake up 
Please Wake up 
Without control I'm failing 
Without conversation nobody's Understanding Everyone is without Consideration for the damage 
I'm experiencing 
Your experiencing 
close enough to keep me sweating Inside my dream you 
still hold The gavel how's this possible Neurones in my heads firing up Cortex shining Equilibrium off kilter 
no mind filtering How 
How Is it possible for a person to loose Control in their own dream 
Gut feelings are kicking in
 Body wont wake up 
It's not listening 
Sinking 
Internal updating troubleshooting 
Time for a reboot 
New hardware Rid old software
 Reboot 
Perception fast don't hesitate 
Time for a reboot 
Reboot 
Reboot 
I See you more clearly now 
A near miss just grazing me
 My dreaming self had no control 
But here I stand 
No backing down 
Not backing down
 For no man 
You 
You 
You 
Mind training fixating On you Rehabilitate my head just to cope
 With the thought of who 
you were Who I am 
I need to train to become 
The man I am destined to be
 Change is considered Life changing 
Or dangerous By dangerous for who
 I mean it all depends on you. 
Do I scare you? 
I see things for what they are 
Not how the seem 
Not blinded from your demeaning charm 
Anymore
 You 
you 
You 
Tried to make me insane 
Telling me all kinds of things
 It wasn't all paranoia
 Time for a reboot 
Reboot 
I See you more clearly now 
You
 You 
Reboot 
Reboot 
You 
You
 I'm not dreaming anymore

I seem to be dreaming

have my soul babe

From my darkness you’ve shown me so much transformed me from a boy to a man to a loving dad  
 My daughter’s my way out of the darkness, here’s a message from me to you, 
My Grace, you help me get InTouch with my kindness gave me unbreakable ties, also my eyes were closed I was blinded before you but now I see.
  I see the beauty in you and who you are and who you’ll become. don’t shy from pushing the limits I know you’ll work hard babe the sky is the limit it’s ok to shoot for the stars.
 I’ll be your parachute when you fly and catch you when you fall and I’ll pick you up again over and over again Oww ahh yes I’ll catch you when you fall. 

  ahhh lalala oway oowaay la la lala 

My second girl my youngest, Willow Your still a baby yeah your only 1,  the madness you present your just a bundle of fun, You butter me up with cute smiles and silly faces each passing day you grow more beautiful.  Creation born into life changing pages 1 at a time but your heart yeah it never changes.  features change day to day No day is the same as the next. 
  Ahhh lalala oway oowaay la la lala 
Soon you’ll be talking then the real fun begins, hearing your voice for the first time, I’m so  delighted that your mine ohh that your mine. 
 I’ll be here for you forever a promise I made to you and your sister, 
Until I’m dust. even then I’ll always be with you in your heart and your thoughts. 
 Nothing in this world can keep us apart’ no nothing, sweethearts. Wayyyahhoww 

A young age innocent still untamed, wild and free a true bless sent from heaven hear that the angels as they sing songs of
Your two hearts pure and full of love excitement and wildness.
. La lalala ahhh lala


My Daughter's Transformed Me

Remembering to
Take time for yourself when things get low, sometimes it takes the darkness to help our light show 
Ponder on your story and the people near. 
Thinking of those people, the ones we hold dear in our hearts no matter the distance apart. 
Determined you
Mediation helps me focus on the thing I want most ohh my life can be a circus when the freaks are set loose, tame that wild lion, before you’ve broken him loose. Not everyone can handle him shush. Owwe 
Remembering to ooo
Control your life one step at a time there ain’t no hurry so take your time this world is yours. 
Ponder on your visions what you want... Think of yourself Asif you’ve already won. If you do this, i promise you’ll be there in one beat of the drum. 
Determined you
Ohhh you gotta tame that wild lion before youve broken him loose, meditation clears a view of the new improved you.
Control your life one step at a time there ain’t no hurry so take your time
Take time for yourself when things get hard and you’re low, sometimes its the darkness that makes our light show  ohwooh 
Keep the ones you hold so dear in your heart,
 Ponder on your visions of what you want... Think of  yourself Asif you’ve already won. If you do this, i promise you’ll be there in one beat of the drum. 






Determined 'you'

Mum (please stay a little longer)

thanks for reminding me

One foot Infront of the other

taking the first step twice

Baby.Boy.Blue

My Fault?

Put You Down For Good

I have to write I just have to

conspiracy bubble

lifes a journey

depressive charm

I WISH YOU WERE HERE

#2 Fading Star, I Wish You Were Here 'S.G'

#1 Scottish Girl

End Of The World..

Digital God

Broken Roads

The Man On The Moon

Script Flip Psst

Psst testing testing... Is this thing on

Free Will

Won't you witness the moonlight .

Plucked Right from the Bible

Given free will to I to we I mean me

igloo for eye glue?

Look Stan this is dad

hi there 👋 welcome to my sound! I write my own lyrics and use AI to put it together. My style is very diverse and goes all over the spectrum please feel free to delve into my portfolio and pick it apart! 

.
 infused with ai for melody and tempo excluding*tech*trance
copyright reserved. 
follow for follow if your enjoying life. DM support for support on content. 🤙experimental song writer. lyrical material threw together.

(Andrew G Holden)

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