When did I fall
I can’t recall
Where on earth am I?

When 
Did I loose
Direction of my expression?
How when why?

Was it because
I feel pressure to change?
(By you, or me or you?)
Was it because 
I had the desire or was I driven insane

By their opinion
Or by my confusion?
I’m a puppet to a vision in their heads
Have I been blinded by
An image that I thought was mine?
If that is so, where did I go?

The mirror looks the same as it did
The reflection changed a little bit
I don’t recognize the person that lives
Inside the body that I live in

Out of  My body
Yet it's a bit 
Claustrophobic

I put ink  On my body
Which I sometimes regret
And I know that it doesn't make much sense

Like dressing for you for 6 months
I bet you didn’t notice much
Was rather feminine
Casually unaware of it

If I change I'm afraid 
You won't look at me the same 
If I don't I'm afraid
Many will despise me
So what’s with the fuss
If I can’t make everyone
Pleased
With me?

So why do I 
Feel the pressure to change? 
(By you, or me or you?)
And why do I feel 
Like a child in denial 
Is there something wrong with me!

The mirror looks the same as it did
The reflection changed a little bit
I don’t recognize the person that lives
Inside the body that I live in

Who am I?
How do I 
Know the answer?
Who am I?
Why don’t I
Know the answer?
Know the answer

The Mirror

[VERSE 1]
Different city new playground 
Running round 
Sniffing out
Drugs like a greyhound
Take the 101 south
Head downtown
To yet another warehouse 
I know I need to find a way out
But the way I came in is blocked off 
House lights on
Crowd goes home
And I still can’t stop

[PRE CHORUS]
And I won’t take my bow just yet 
Got a couple stories left
Need to get this shit off my chest
And I’m done 
Gotta make my parents proud 
when they look at me now
All they see is the damage I’ve done 
They don’t like who I’ve become 
They miss the girl that I was
Now I’m too sensitive 
Sad and directionless 
Wasted potential 
And more broken promises 

I’m the problem kid 
An embarrassment 
Might not say it out loud but they’re thinking it 
Opportunities come in like battleship 
Every time I get one I start sinking it 
Overthinking shit 
Here comes the spiral again
Pick up the bottle
And oh here we go…

[CHORUS]
Got too drunk last night
I threw up in the taxi 
Line after line 
Passing out in the backseat 

Yet another morning after 
She’s so pretty when she’s plastered
When the night is long 
And her mind is gone 
What a beautiful disaster 

I get too high I won’t come back down 
I’m scared of heights
But I’m more scared of the ground 
 
Head in the clouds
I’m not coming down 
You can’t catch me now 
I’m gone 
What a beautiful disaster 
What a beautiful disaster
What a beautiful disaster

[VERSE 2]
Drug cravings 
Long before I took my first sniff 
Had my first hit 
Of validation
Innocent enough 
Just a little buzz
Til I started searching in the wrong places 
Found friends who couldn’t tell you what my name is
Half a life
Spent with strangers 
Now it's all blank pages…

[PRE]
But I won’t put my pen down yet 
Still gotta make my amends  
Needa get this guilt off my chest 
And I’m done
I just want to make ‘em proud 
Its a real tough crowd 
And shame is a loaded gun 
Now I'm too quiet 
Cold and defiant 
Play it like im fine 
When I’m not 
I’m not the daughter they want 
I'm just the daughter they got 

I’m a letdown
Disappointment 
Though they try hard to avoid it 
I can see in their eyes 
Their annoyance
I’ve made peace with my pain 
So they think I enjoy it 
That I self appoint it 
Like I wrote the script
Predestined to ruin 
My future before it begins 
Here we go again…

[CHORUS]
Got too drunk last night
I threw up in the taxi 
Line after line 
Passing out in the backseat 

Yet another morning after 
She’s so pretty when she’s plastered
When the night is long 
And her mind is gone 
What a beautiful disaster 

I get too high I won’t come back down 
I’m scared of heights
But I’m more scared of the ground 
 
Head in the clouds
I’m not coming down 
You can’t catch me now 
I’m gone 
What a beautiful disaster 
What a beautiful disaster
What a beautiful disaster

[OUTRO]
If I can be frank for a moment 
While I still have your focus 
I want to tell you bout a little girl 
Who always felt broken 
Lost and hopeless
Looking to others
For reasons to keep on going 

As I sit here now 
It's still raining, and storming
And I can't control it 
But 
There's beauty inside of the clouds
They cry and reset with a smile in the morning
And maybe that's all that is 
Let go and move on
Find new reasons to live
Never thought I'd make it past 16
This year I'll turn 26

Beautiful Disaster (Demo version)

have you heard the news? (demo version)

Likely my final Deltarune remix (for now):
"GUARDIAN" (by Toby Fox),
Theme of the Dark Titan, final Boss of Deltarune Chapter 4.

GUARDIAN (TA Mix)

Some new music, as requested by my sister: (check her out at https://soundcloud.com/athenaea if you're into Folk & Singer/Songwriter music)

"It's Going Down Now" (by Azumi Takahashi & Lotus Juice),
Battle theme from ATLUS's "Persona 3 Reload".

Lyrics: 

(It’s those unintelligent monsters, ain’t it?)
(What are they thinking? Please explain it)
(Don’t really need this crap, can’t waste time)
(What I possess can’t copy and paste down)
(I’m doing it better, never settling for another regular)
(Letter to my enemies, hey, I’m telling ya)
(Breaking you down to the level of molecular)
(Better be wise when you’re choosing battles, It’s mostly babbles)
(You know one of those shady big time foe foes ain’t worth fighting for)
(Drop these bars in my sleep, few more tricks up my sleeve)
(Way too late for you to leave now) (Get ready!)

Disturbing the peace
Look into my eyes
Now tell me the things you’re blabbing about me behind my back
The tenacity I hold, it’s hard to break down
It’s too late for apologies 
It’s going down now

(You're thirsty for blood)
(Actually craving for love)
(What you only want is dumb)
(Greed makes you go numb)
(Purposefully blocking good thoughts)
(Hey please doctor, doctor)
(He’s about to be that patient)
(Cause I’m about to knock him out cold) (bring him back please)
(Whole lotta moves I make on you like dance floor and during this beat down you prolly wish that you can fast-forward)
(Don’t you worry about it, I'll save some room for your last words)(make sure of it)
(After I do this, do that and the third)

Disturbing the peace
Look into my eyes
Now tell me the things you’re blabbing about me behind my back
The tenacity I hold, it’s hard to break down
It’s too late for apologies 
It’s going…

Some things may break me
But always get back up
New perspective gained
From all of the pain and stress
And when I do come back
I’m stronger than ever before so kneel down

Disturbing the peace
Look into my eyes
Now tell me the things you’re blabbing about me behind my back
The tenacity I hold, it’s hard to break down
It’s too late for apologies 
It’s going down

It's Going Down Now (TA Mix)

Another Persona 3 Remix, after a significant delay (mostly due to the release of Silksong and Hades II 1.0):

"Color Your Night" (by Atsushi Kitajo & Lotus Juice)
which plays in Paulownia Mall at night in Persona 3 Reload.

Lyrics:
(Time to shine and I'm down to ride) 
(I’m gonna drive until the break of dawn wilding out) 
(I’m on a mission grinding out whatever it is I gotta do) 
(Riding out until the day I meet you I'm riding out)

(I look up in the sky) 
(Asking lotta why) 
(But never let it faze me I'm keeping good vibes) 
(When I'm on the road I watch out for all surprises) 
(What it provides us good and bad) 
(But nothing unties us)

Another wander in the night 
Let me paint the view 
Color a town with my light 
For every moment shared with you
Not out in the day 
But never fully gone 
Going to be back again 
Until the coming of a dawn

(For all the days ahead of us put your hands up) 
(wave 'em side to side for good luck ah)  
(For all the nights like this, put your hands up) 
(love the moment even from dusk yup)  
(You always got my back, and of course I got your back,) 
(don't you worry about that now)  
(It's been a good day good night) 
(It's gonna be a good day good night)

When two hands meet at zenith 
Nothing comes between us 
Dancing like ballerinas 
Under the moon light all night long
How these plain and simple scenes get painted so vividly by you... 
I just want to stay with you

Around the world I slowly dance 
Whenever our eyes meet 
You know you leave me in a trance It means everything to me
Looking down below The one I seek to find 
No matter where you might go 
Remember you'll be on my mind

(Always watching over me somehow you make me feel invincible,) 
(power to my soul yup)  
(I’m at ease with things that used to bother me) 
(cuz your existence just lights me up yup)  
(You always got my back, and of course I got your back,) 
(don't you worry about that now)  
(It's been a good day good night) 
(It's gonna be a good day good night)

Within the inner heart I plead 
For you to talk to me 
I want to hear all the good and bad 
The new stories you have
As I drift across the sky 
The hour hand turns high 
So good night 
Let me sing a lullaby, love I'll be seeing you, baby

Color Your Night (TA Mix)

Another Persona 3 Remix:
"Burn My Dread" (By Shoji Meguro) is the opening theme of Persona 3

Lyrics:
Dreamless dorm, ticking clock
I walk away from the soundless room
Windless night, moonlight melts My ghostly shadow to the lukewarm gloom

Nightly dance of bleeding swords Reminds me that I still live

I will burn my dread I once ran away from the god of fear And he chained me to despair

Burn my dread I will break the chain And run till I see the sunlight again

I'll lift my face and run to the sunlight

Voiceless town, tapping feet I clench my fists in pockets tight Far in mist a tower awaits Like a merciless tomb devouring moonlight

Clockwork maze, end unknown In frozen time a staircase stands Shadows crawl on bloodstained floor I rush straight ahead with a sword in hands

Cold touch of my trembling gun I close my eyes to hear you breathe

Burn my dread
Burn my dread

I will burn my dread This time I'll grapple down that god of fear And throw him into hell's fire

Burn my Dread I will shrug the pain
And run till I see the sunlight again
 Oh I will run burning all regret and dread And I will face the sun with pride of the living


Burn My Dread (TA Mix)

My Final Persona 3 remix (Persona 4 remixes coming soon):
"Battle Hymn of the Soul" also known as "Battle of Everyone's Souls" (by Shoji Meguro),
The final Boss theme from Persona 3.

Shuffle 5/16/20, 6:34 PM

Andrew Aliferis

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