this song is abt a heartbreak and trying to find something to cover up the pain thx i got some more heat on the way for yall btw

"Medicine" Ft. Clementine Elenora [Prod. CapsCtrl]

Beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHNGYXxQF5I

Lyrics :

I feel so anxious I vanish in sadness it happens a ton
By now my canvas is brandished with damage sustained from your love
And when my baggage is captured on camera I can't help but run
Somehow I manage to banish my manners until I feel numb

I'm broken
I left my heart in the open
Can't keep on speaking I'm choking
My feelings freeze in the cold when
I'm hurting
Lately I've been feeling like a burden
I been making my mind up with bourbon
But I been waking up feeling uncertain
I'm honest
I ain't really one to break a promise
Don't wanna hurt you so I look for other options
But every answer has me feeling kinda nauseous
I'm praying
For the days where I'm no longer waiting
And my mind is no longer degrading
Got a long way to go so I'm patient

After all those times
I pulled through
Those sleepless nights
That I spent with you

I feel so anxious I vanish in sadness it happens a ton
By now my canvas is brandished with damage sustained from your love
And when my baggage is captured on camera I can't help but run
Somehow I manage to banish my manners until I feel numb

anxious (Prod. by xmichaelwarren)

this is an experimental song, hope you like it 
and thanks for listening 

prod: Aki x  hOPPY bOY
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyp9-w2fb06X7kzfvCQaPKg
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkZx22fv0nYhMuvev7wS6DQ

[lyrics]:
i don't wanna na na, i don't wanna be alone
i don't wanna be be be, i don't wanna be a stone
i don't wanna crush my zo-o-o-o-o-o-ne
want to pick up all the bones, all all all all all the bones
i~~ i wanna feel free, i wanna smile to me (smile to me)

my mom and dad are trying to help me but i still don't want to listen
i fucked up with my bad decision, i wish it was a vision
yeah, yeah, yeah, i don't wanna be alone
i don't wanna be a stone
i don't wanna crush my zone
yeah, yeah, yeah, i don't wanna be alone
(i don't wanna, i don't wanna, i don't wanna, i don't wanna)
yeah, yeah, yeah, i don't wanna be a stone
i don't wanna be alone, alone, alone

i don't wanna na na, i don't wanna be alone
i don't wanna be be be, i don't wanna be a stone
i don't wanna crush my zo-o-o-o-o-o-ne
want to pick up all the bones, all all all all all the bones
i~~ i wanna feel free, i wanna smile to me (smile to me)

*****(prod. by Aki x  hOPPY bOY)

*Reuploaded* was falsely copyrighted

Beat :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eVCkBrvMuQ

Lyrics :

I've been popping tabs and smoking grass then catching taxis home
When I'm feeling sad I drop a grand on Gucci branded clothes
Been with college grads and blowing cash on shit I can't afford
Check your pictures on my phone
Whenever I feel alone
Said you've been falling out love
You need a change stop playing games
For you I never was enough
So many things I rearranged
So I've been popping tabs and smoking grass then catching taxis home
Check our pictures on my phone
Whenever I feel alone

I take the ache and the pain and push it to the back of my brain
My heart been full of disdain with all the broken parts it contains
I pray for better days no
You wanted better say so
I'd gone insane trying to change but it was way too late tho
Been smoking one too many cigarettes
And you're the one who lost interest
And my whole life has been a mess
Who would've guessed it would end like this
It's still a lot to process
To me it don't make no sense
It feels like I'm drowning way out in the ocean

No I
Can't accept the fact
You survived
Without a scratch
And my life has been a wreck
Say I'm fine
If you ever ask

I've been popping tabs and smoking grass then catching taxis home
When I'm feeling sad I drop a grand on Gucci branded clothes
Been with college grads and blowing cash on shit I can't afford
Check your pictures on my phone
Whenever I feel alone
Said you've been falling out love
You need a change stop playing games
For you I never was enough
So many things I rearranged
So I've been popping tabs and smoking grass then catching taxis home
Check our pictures on my phone
Whenever I feel alone

alone (Prod. by siemspark x ayoleybeats)

joke freestyle /angels cover

Beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mQBNnZcw-0

Art : https://www.zerochan.net/1351393

Lyrics :

And she said
I spend a little too much time
In my head
Reading the replies that
She'd send
I'm a little too comfortable
And maybe just maybe
I'm acting this crazy for you

Someone call 911
On ice my wrist so numb
Swing miss bye bye home run
Foot flat no gas so long
So lost I couldn't find my way
Perspirating hesitating
Saw right through my poker face
Palpitating no escaping
Lately I've been running low on trust
When I look in her eyes all I see is us
It's all a little much
Oh but what a rush
Could you tell me now if I'm worthy of your love

I might throw it all away for you if you could make the time
I left one foot in the rearview but made it out alive
And I know
You're probably better off
But when I'm around you I can't get enough
And I know
How far I've fallen
So far down might aswell go all in
And she said

in my head (Prod. by siemspark x 1heyrick)

''ALL I WANTED'' remix by bro @soliooooo, thank you <3
i can't forgive myself for that, i don't think ill be able to..
✦ https://soundcloud.com/nokerbforever/all-i-wanted ✦

ALL I WANTED

ALL I WANTED (remix by solio)

Beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fbNsP-R_xI
Art : https://twitter.com/ImagesAlbum/status/1571213820223262722/photo/1

Secret : https://soundcloud.com/secretomalo

Lyrics :

{secret}
Baby
Come see the stars tonight
I know that you probably don't got the time 
I hope you remember that you are mine
See you later baby because I don't like goodbyes

Don't try it, because I can see your lies
I know you're bluffing I can see it in your eyes
But bae don't worry I can see you're terrified
I cant do nothing lil mama my hands are tied
Do not fight me they just want us to divide
Come on baby why don't you come take a ride 
Do you love me do you hate me please decide
Well if you love me would you like to be my bride

{grinch}
You're so mischievous promiscuous
And I been all in your business
But you so goddamned ambiguous
And I won't back down I'm into this
I'm up all night on Adderall
You pull up been out so long
Where you get that Saint Laurent
Was good until you came along
I've been down this road before
Wish that I could Alt+F4
All the signs in front of my eyes that I chose to ignore
Yeah I know you're no good for me
I might just end it all and put my car into a ravine yeah

{secret}
Baby
Come see the stars tonight
I know that you probably don't got the time 
I hope you remember that you are mine
See you later baby because I don't like goodbyes

{grinch}
I thought we were past this
Lying like an actress
Playing on my sadness
Claim it's just a habit
But you got your baggage
Pack it up and leave before I lose my shit it's madness
How could you be so careless
How could you - mm
I was Geller you were Green
You were Geller I was Bing
No one else could come between
But you have priorities
You keep coming back cos you just can't deny my talents
You overreact but that's the plan cos you a savage

{secret}
(well if you love me would you like to- like to-) 
Fantasize! Fantasize we'll have it televised
Televised! all these drugs they got me paralyzed 
If you leave me then your dreams are what I'll terrorize
Told you before that I cant do this anymore
I am not your man I'm not something for you to explore
I am not your toy
Why do you treat me like a chore
When you wanna call I'm only hitting ignore

Baby
Come see the stars tonight
I know that you probably don't got the time 
I hope you remember that you are mine
See you later baby because I don't like goodbyes

Don't try it, because I can see your lies
I know you're bluffing I can see it in your eyes
But bae don't worry I can see you're terrified
I cant do nothing lil mama my hands are tied
Do not fight me, they just want us to divide
Come on baby why don't you come take a ride 
Do you love me do you hate me please decide
Well if you love me would you like to be my bride

i don't like goodbyes - grinch, secret (Prod. by siemspark x ayoleybeats)

Art : https://twitter.com/ImagesAlbum/status/1521550155480195075/photo/1

Beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HshffCf8BDQ

// Lyrics //

You waste away in the pain you paid for
The plan you laid is splayed across the floor
And maybe we were meant for something more
And maybe we were meant for something more
The waves they crash against the sandy shore
The blanks upon the page that we had torn
And maybe we were meant for something more
And maybe we were meant for something more

My head starts spinning I'm bout to fall down
With the state I'm in to you I'm bound
In fresh cut wounds of love I'm found again

The neighbors can't help but to stop and stare
At the brown skinned girl with the darkish hair
As she steps in the world that we both share again

You waste away in the pain you paid for
(You leave here I hate you)
The plan you laid is splayed across the floor
And maybe we were meant for something more
And maybe we were meant for something more
The waves they crash against the sandy shore
The blanks upon the page that we had torn
(I guess not, I think I must have misread all those signals)
(I guess you did)

meant for something more (Prod. by xmichaelwarren)

Lyrics 

Are they everything you pictured them to be 
Ain’t it crushing when they’re not like what they seem
This ain’t new this something you’ve already seen 
Staying hopeful even though it’s at the least 

Are they everything that you could ever want 
Do they treat you fairly probably maybe not 
Now that’s somebody you wish that you forgot 
Now that’s somebody you wish that you forgot 

Oh why oh why 
Could see the lies again 
Oh why 
Oh why—

This love is like a horror scene 
Something that I’ve seen on screen 
You Film me when I’m feeling weak 
When I’m terrified 

Oh why oh why 
Could see the lies again 
Oh why 
Oh why—

Horror Scene (Prod Guda)

u look tired, is everything okay?
𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖,
(lyrics)
had enough,
this isnt fun anymore
you dont talk to me at all
-
had enough
youre leaving more
words dont last
im feeling horrible

repeating words
all ive ever heard
its in my veins
never doing great

i find myself
drifting to the end
of all ive ever known
lonely is a word when used to describe my home
but love is such a waste when they are not the one
and im easy to replace, lets face the facts im nothing special
this game of life, is just an unbeatable level
i always think about whats called "have i lost you?"
well i have,
we'll never get it back again

back again
ive lost you
and now youre gone
gone
i miss you
i am nothing,
i never was

made 11/16/22

Ephemeral

// 23 //
having audio/recording issues, will be MIA for a little while

alone (Prod. by siemspark x ayoleybeats)

grinch

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