SoundCloud Weekly

"The beatings. The coldness. You never saw a smile."

Jimmy Stewart recounts experiences which are piercingly harrowing - but not uncommon.

He is one of thousands of survivors of institutions for children in Northern Ireland, where abuse of young residents was widespread.

When he was eight, Jimmy was taken into Nazareth Lodge in Belfast - a place he quietly describes as "a nightmare".

His mother had died of cancer, aged 32. His father was deaf and unable to speak.

"Though he tried to look after us, he couldn't," Jimmy says.

He remembers the nun who met him and his younger brother Patrick at the door called them "wee mongrels".

The boys didn't know what that meant at the time, but later learned it was a reference to his parents' mixed marriage - one was a Catholic, the other a Protestant.

Jimmy Stewart remembers getting "the mother and father of all beatings" after he ran at a nun when she was physically abusing his younger brother, Patrick.

The vivid nature of his memories are clear when he describes how a nun beat him "with her weapon of choice - a rung from a baby's cot, with piping and light blue paint on it".

Explaining how he became an alcoholic, Jimmy says: "If you ask anyone who's a heavy drinker, they'll tell you that you don't dream in a drunken sleep.

"You don't have nightmares. You don't have flashbacks. It numbs you. Keeps all that stuff away. Until the point it's going to kill you. Which it nearly did to me."

He describes spending "three years behind a locked door in my own house".

"I hadn't bathed or shaved. I think the last three months I spent in the same bathrobe."

He began to recover after he went into hospital.

But his older brother, Victor, "drank himself to death".

Jimmy becomes particularly emotional when he talks about how Victor was "so much changed" by what happened in Rubane House.

"We were always close. But those years took it out of us."

As an adult, Victor "couldn't discuss it - he probably didn't think there was any help for him".

Jimmy regrets deeply that Victor hasn't lived to hear the state apology.

Lyrics.

Hello little mongrel
Come on in
This is just the place
To cure you of your sin

We'll beat you black and blue
With whatever comes to hand
You'll learn to obey
All of our demands

I drink to hide the flashbacks
I drink to numb my mind
Therapy's no good for me
I'm afraid what I will find

You took me and my brothers
Took us down to hell
We never had a smile or love
Became an empty shell

I can't believe in afterlife
I wish I could at times
They'd throw you in the darkest place
To pay for all your crimes

I drink to hide the flashbacks
I drink to numb my mind
Therapy's no good for me
I'm afraid what I will find

You got away with everything
Now you're not here to find
The children trusted to your care
You left broken and maligned

Suffer The Little Children

This is my remix of The Spin wires track https://soundcloud.com/the-spin-wires

Burning Car - Hipster Girls Remix Of The Spin Wires Song

Hands

lyrics, vocals, mixing by Tam Jennifer, on synthetic guitar loop (anon.) Two loops have been chopped up, arranged and mixed in with the vocals to accent emotion. 

Indie experimental trap. 

Vocals recorded and mixed using Audacity and RODE USB Mini Microphone

FOR MY MOTHER

Cover generated using Stable-Diffusion.. design by Tam Jennifer. 

. 

I originally recorded a version of this song just two months after she died. Here is the original. 

Listen to Mother mother (DEMO 20191118) by Tam Jennifer Music on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/r6jbs

Where Did She Go ( I Wanna Know, 2022 )

Thanks for listening!

Lyrics:
I made a deal with her.
she is the universe.
give me just this one thing.
I'll crawl out of my hole.
And let you in my soul. 
Forget I am nothing. 
So please.
Let me see.
well beyond me.
into thy naked eye.
Please
let me feel.
something unreal.
before I up and die. 

You are song and light.
You are an endless night.
It all seems so magic. 
But everything you touch.
returns to you in dust.
It all seems so tragic. 

Thanks to Jonathan Beckenstein for the excellent advice. 





Artwork https://www.pinterest.com/sierraval01/

thy naked eye

But Grandma Does Have Wheels (She Is, In Fact, A Wagon)

Scotty: guitars, lyrics, vocals
Tommy: bass

Unleashed Passions

THE SECRET OF REASON.

=================================

Some political events in my country during the year 2017 inspired this composition. I wanted it to be kind of hard and melodic at the same time. The base of the melody is a strong electronic harp

23 native instrument tracks from Music Studio and forum Xewton, and one track from kv331.

Made in 2017, mixed, edited in my car (Parked...) and composed on ipad (ipad mini, in this case).

Remixed and re-edited July 2022.

All the percussions of this theme and all the others are programmed without the use of preset samples. They are composed using each percussive sound independently on a track-by-track basis.

Thanks for listening and commenting.

Paco.

The secret of reason (Edition 2022)

Many thanks to Ingvar Tautra for the evocative oceanic original.
https://soundcloud.com/agnosturaelwar/the-ocean-remembers-my-name?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
The additional flute tracks hopefully take us to the beautiful Bass Rock in The Firth of Forth, Scotland (pictured)where the colony of Northern Gannets are battling against the ravages of avian influenza. We can but pray for their survival.

Photo c/o Pinterest.

The Ocean Remembers My Name [Auk mix] - Ingvar Tautra | WBE

[Original demo]
Recorded in 2018
Remaster: 2022

Tropical Coast

When I walk at dawn in spring through one of my usual birding areas, there is a moment when I am sorrounded by rainbow of colors and fluted trills. It is the neighborhood of the bee-eaters.
Real bee-eaters sound recorded by Patrik Aberg in Poland and Spain.

FLUTED TRILLS

Hi,

I'm really happy to propose you Matziz's new single, titled "Barraque Beat with Rax label.
For the style it's a sort of Electronica, IDM, Impressionist, Rock, Weird Dance...
And it speaks about a toad, trying to enter a very weird house...

Hope you'll like it
^^

https://go.release.ink/MFTB
https://matzizrecords.bandcamp.com/track/barraque-beat 
https://soundcloud.com/theophile2latour/barraque-beat

Barraque Beat

Ghost Train

WHAT'S IN YOU
Written, Performed, Produced & Mastered
by Andrew Borderick Copyright 2022 AB Music

IT'S ALL THE COIN YOU'VE GOT
AND ALL THE LOVING IN ONE HAND
THERE'S A CHANCE TO TAKE THE LOT
UNTILL YOU FIND THE KEY, IT TURNS TO SAND

IF I COULD UNFOLD THIS MYSTERY
THE OLD MAN SAID NOTHING COMES FOR FREE
IT COULD TAKE YOU LIFE, WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO

WHAT'S IN YOU

SOMEDAY YOU'LL WIN A TRICK IN A HAT
YOU BETTER WISH REEL HARD, IN ONE HAND
IS ALL THE TRUTH TO MUCH
MAY'BE  IT'S ALL, IN TWO HANDS

I GUESS YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS TRUE
YOU'VE LOST THE BIGGEST PART OF YOU
IT COULD TAKE YOUR LIFE, WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO

WHAT'S IN YOU
(break)
IF I COULD UNFOLD THIS MYSTERY
THE OLD MAN SAID NOTHING COMES FOR FREE
IT COULD TAKE YOU LIFE, WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO

WHAT'S IN YOU

WHAT'S IN YOU

THE BOY - Shine on

Everything by THE BOY

From my 3rd EP "Shine on" on Major Platforms NOW!
Click Link ( Spotify )↓ & Enjoy‼️
 : https://open.spotify.com/album/6qejC3qJHxnWrpDg2KLbqs?si=26THHQArSF2oYrrvlA4IdA

Shine on

Some of Us is Me

2022 Janine Levinson
Guitar: Jonathan Beckenstein  @jonathan_beckenstein
   
I’m sorry that I’m not somebody else    
I’m sorry if I let my people down
I didn’t ask for anybody’s help        
I’m sorry that I waited for this long

But it’s like trying to move your life ahead with a stranger at the wheel 
While trying very hard to get along

I’m sorry that I wrecked my lover’s heart
I hope he knows I wrecked my own heart too
I should have looked somewhere outside myself
I hope there’s room for me inside of you

Cause I’ve been trying to stand up straight when I am broken past repair
And still trying very hard to fix what’s wrong 

Some folks have got it made 
Frolicking in the shade of live oak tree
But some of us we don’t sing so loud, 
And we’re looking down
Some of us is me

I sometimes wish tomorrow wouldn’t come
But yesterday has problems of his own 
Next to you’s the only thing I’ve got
I wish I knew someplace where I belonged   

And I’ve been trying to stand up straight 
‘Cause I was thinking you might share--
And make my little world not feel so wrong

Some folks have got it made 
Frolicking in the shade of live oak tree
But some of us we don’t sing so loud, 
And we’re looking down
Some of us is me

Some Of Us Is Me - with Jonathan Beckenstein

JEANNE D’ARC 
Jeanne d'Arc (1412 - 30 mai 1431) est considérée comme une héroïne de la France pour son rôle dans le siège d'Orléans et le couronnement de Charles VII de France pendant la guerre de Cent Ans contre l'Angleterre. Après avoir mené avec succès plusieurs actions militaires françaises, elle a été capturée, remise aux autorités anglaises, condamnée comme hérétique et brûlée sur le bûcher en 1431. Vingt-cinq ans plus tard, sa condamnation a été formellement annulée. Près de 500 ans après sa mort, elle a été canonisée comme sainte par l'Église catholique romaine.
Joan of Arc ( 1412 – 30 May 1431) is considered a heroine of France for her role in the siege of Orléans and the coronation of Charles VII of France during the Hundred Years' War against England. After successfully leading several French military actions, she was captured, handed over to English authorities, convicted as a heretic, and burnt at the stake in 1431. Twenty-five years later, her conviction was formally overturned. Nearly 500 years after her death, she was canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church.
Backing track: Paploviante
https://soundcloud.com/paploviante-and-friends/mythic-paploviante-open-colas
Lillithe : Production and Arrangement.
              Adding: sound effects, synths.

JEANNE D’ARC - Lillithe & Paploviante

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #07 album)

Good morning all you wonderful music loving people. And what a beautiful Monday morning it is; made all the better by this enticing new track Clive (https://soundcloud.com/winkandwoo, https://audius.co/winkandw00) and I just finished. It’s our first collaborative effort; and the results are spectacular, if I do say so myself.

As to the backdrop for this piece... it feels surreal, traversing this world of sleepers, lost in their own self-created daydreams and nightmares. It’s a bizarre balancing act, wanting to play a helpful part in this underground movement of consciousness and unconditional love, while also trying to accept that there are many who simply don’t want to wake up from this troubling dream. But in the end, our fate will be shared across the entire planet. And the full range of choices must be recognized and honored, for this grand adventure to play out to its fullest potential.

The old saying ‘It is always darkest before the dawn’ seems like an apt concept to focus on these days. And it’s helpful to remember, great beauty can still arise from the murkiest of waters and most inhospitable of soils. Times might seem dark right now, and we are most definitely heading toward some unprecedented troubling chapters. But it is still just a story; the human story. And we all get to chose our roles, and play our parts. I’m personally quite fond of the ‘kindness and compassion’ approach myself. But there are as many roles to play as there are humans on this planet; so choose wisely, and follow your bliss. In the end, that might be all that matters. 

Clive and I hope you enjoy our first collaborative effort, ’Stay Asleep’. :)

PWWO07

Stay Asleep | winkandwoo & GrevusAnjl

(Written by Terry Reeves)
Terry Reeves: Vocals
Hans Albers: All instruments, arrangement and production.

Einstein determined that time is relative and that the rate at which it passes depends on your frame of reference.  Now I’m not saying that I’m much of a scholar of his work but what I do know is that when the Covid pandemic was at it’s height and we were all confined to our homes, many of those that I spoke to didn’t even know where in the week we were, let alone the time of day, so yer man Einstein probably had a point.

This song was written long before the pandemic surfaced and came during telephone and email conversations I had with my two fellow Cripple Club garage band members, Gary and Hans . For example, I was chatting to Gal one day when he said “You know, I just can’t get the hang of time, these days.  Weeks seem to just merge into each other”. 

On the very same day, Hans sent me an email in which he stated "I’m really struggling to get the hang of time at the moment…” As someone who spends much of his time at home anyway, the two ‘hang of time’ statements did resonate with me and therefore carried an intriguing synchronicity.  I’m not someone who thinks these things have any mystical significance but the fact that they had both used precisely the same expression on the same day certainly placed the idea for this song in my mind.

Thanks again to Hans for taking the concept and formulating it so brilliantly into his arrangement for the song.  And many thanks to you for listening.
(Terry Reeves)

I just can’t get the hang of time
Tomorrow seemed a million miles behind
And yet a date turns up in front of mind
What more to remember or try to find

I just can’t get the hang of time

Another month goes by without a breath
Although breathing in moves me to the left
Time to the right can cause calendar theft
Pitching very low sounds to a musical clef

I just can’t get the hang of time

No shaking up time without showing my age
As click track continues keep missing the page
Never losing my temper but cheating a rage
There is never a tempo that keeps sounds in a cage

I just can’t get the hang of time (Repeat)

BREAK

Qualified people pointing a direction to live
Not one understands why I’m mentally captive
Each box with a tick but the time doesn’t give
My Individual need making all words so inactive

I just can’t get the hang of time

A window reflection shows a man with a beard 
Tuesday or Wednesday? All days disappeared
I just can’t get the hang of time
It wasn’t meant to be an ageing skill of mine.

I just can’t get the hang of time

SoundCloud Weekly

Angeliki Angeliki