[verse 1]
i’m sorry, since when could you read my mind?
wait, no, i know the answer.
my thoughts are shrouded, leave you feeling blind.
turns out you’re no mind reader.
but you expect me to unfurl your thoughts,
decipher your silence with no prior plot.

[chorus]
i’m no mind reader, i cannot know what you want,
if you won’t talk to me, refuse to voice your heart’s thoughts.
i know that it’s hard to find your voice when you’re down,
sort through anxious waves that crash with thunderous sound.
but

[post-chorus]
i’m no mind reader. (x4)

[verse 2]
i wish i could read the thoughts in your head,
pour through from cover to cover,
learn from your story the life that you’ve led,
love you for worse and for better.
but your book is always closed down deep inside,
surrounded by your legions of porcelain pride.

[chorus]
[post-chorus]

[bridge]
relationship killer, that’s what you are.
so when you go spin your sob story,
know that you’re not free of fault.
you’re not a victim, no. i’m not a villain.
but you leave me on mute, cut the line,
and go broadcast your toxic opinion.

[post-chorus]

[outro]
i’m no mind reader.
you’re no mind reader.
no one’s a mind reader.
there are no mind readers.

mind reader (demo)

[verse 1]
i think i know what i want,
i think i know what i’m chasing,
though i’ve never really chased this before.
my lungs always seem to fail,
my eyes always roam right to you,
my mind says together we could be much more.

[hook]
who would i wanna live all of my life with?
spend every night with? greet every day with?
finally gather the courage to lower my walls down for?

[chorus]
someone who holds me when i laugh,
never lets go when i cry,
who lets me do the same for them --
in us we would confide.
someone who brightens up my smiles,
doesn't deepen my frowns.
we'd learn not to hold back
or let each other down.

[verse 2]
some things, i won’t tolerate.
some norms belong in the garbage.
we can’t clip our wings and ever hope to soar.
let’s write our own set of rules,
break the rules set by others,
heed the beat of our hearts as we explore.

[hook]

[chorus]

[bridge]
i’m not searching for “the one”.
why should there be just one?
love and life stories need not
be one and done.
my love will not lessen,
it will not run out
as long as it’s with someone who....

[chorus]

[outro]
someone who....(x5)

someone who.... (demo)

[verse 1]
i found a drop of starlight in the dark but
i don't even know which sun is bleeding.
do they shine over me-e?
i swam so deep to save that spark so
long i feared the ocean floor might seize me,
fill up my lungs and force me to breathe.

[chorus 1]
oh, in the deep dark i don't know.
oh, if i run, where do i go?
oh, will red waves haunt my tomorrows?
oh, in the deep dark light is
no match for blind woe.

[verse 2]
i hear a siren calling from the rocks, their
eery tune, mellifluous yet jagged.
should i rechart my course? ah-ah
the shape of their words just eludes me,
taunts and tempts me, promises me answers
if i would join the shipwrecks on their shore.

[chorus 1]

[bridge]
but if i dive just a bit further
to find that starlight lodged deep inside,
assure the sirens and suns and
the shipwrecks on shore that
there will soon be friendlier tides.

[chorus 1]

[chorus 2]
oh, every fiber in you knows.
oh, let them point you where to go.
oh, lest red waves haunt your tomorrows.
oh, flee the deep dark, prepare
to embrace your woe.

in the deep dark (demo)

[chorus]
you've made this a home for me.
you've let my heart soar,
let me learn to be free.
you've let me move so confidently.
it may seem small, but it's everything.
thanks for letting me be me.

[verse 1]
sitting cross-legged on my favorite
gray futon in the living room,
sipping green tea with cinnamon and honey
that i made in the kitchen
down the hall minutes ago,
hearing your voices carry from that
same kitchen fills me up from head to toe--
warmer than any drink that i could make,
and that's one of the ways that i know.

[verse 2]
remember spontaneous late-night hours-long
hallway conversations.
remember playing games on my carpet
by flashlight during a hurricane.
remember every "hello, hello"
exchanged in greeting each new day.
remember how it felt returning
after being away.
and that's some of the ways that i know.

[chorus]

[verse 3]
friendsgiving, game nights, 
fridays with Wanda,
and a lovely tea party.
rainbow moments in gray-skied intensity,
we part storm-clouds defiantly.
even simply ordering take-out
and finishing up our work
lives in my mind rent-free, um yes queen,
i'll always cherish our quirks.
and that's some of the ways that i know.

[bridge]
special occasions or mundane day-to-day
or the in-between are all extraordinary.
what we've created transcends
the momentary and even vivid memory.
this home will live in me
for all eternity.

[chorus]

thanks for letting me be me

made this a home (demo)

[intro]
we could’ve forged any path
that we wanted,
so why the fuck did
we choose this?

[chorus]
we’re so hell-bent on our own destruction,
hell-bent on imprisonment,
hell-bent against everyone and everything
we want silent.

[verse 1]
we could’ve forged a bond
so strong it would never break.
we could’ve committed to
freeing our hearts and minds every day.
but instead we said we would rather
rattle in shackles of hate.

[chorus]

[post-chorus]
we’re so hell-bent (x4)

[verse 2]
we could’ve built our bridges wise,
they’d have learned to bend --
withstand the pressures of
mistakes and sincere amends.
but instead our divisions
may corrode and corrupt ‘til bitter end.

[chorus]

[post-chorus]

[bridge] × 2
they say, "why, why would we ever do that?
why, why would we ever change?
why, why would we strip our privilege?
why, why? we always win this game.

[interlude]

[outro]
we could’ve forged any path
that we wanted.
(spoken) the time to start is always now.

hell-bent (demo)

[verse 1]
don't wanna smile but not be happy;
don't wanna laugh to hide the pain;
don't wanna close my eyes but not sleep--
all just not to ruin my good name.

[verse 2]
don't wanna return a smile that has a
catch that requires me to perform
a version of myself that's not me --
all just to prevent your acid rainstorm.

[chorus 1]
i'll cry if i want to,
and i think you should too.
i'll cry and i'll cry 'til the pain has been dulled,
'til my worn heart's no longer black and blue.

[verse 3]
don't wanna forgive and forget your words
and actions that persist to this day.
don't wanna enable your delusion 
that these are consequences you can simply wish away.

[chorus 1]

[bridge] × 2
i will cry if i want to.
this smile on my face will die if it wants to.
i will cry if i need to.
this smile on my face will die if it needs to.

[chorus 2]
i'll cry if i want to
when that's all i can do.
i'll cry 'til my crowded mind weighs less heavy,
'till i've consoled myself, tended every bruise.

cry if i want to (demo)

[intro]
sleep fast my darling,
sleep as i sing.

[verse 1]
sun strokes on tired bones,
and painted skies.
this day is done now,
so rest your eyes.

[pre-chorus 1]
lay your head down
on the pillow right next to me.
clear your mind
of the stresses of humanity.
and i’ll sing you a song to sleep.

[chorus 1]
listen to this lullaby -- 
it’s my love for you.
it’s my pride in every part of you --
in your fighting spirit, your caring heart, 
your lovely laughter.
listen to this lullaby.

[verse 2]
i see your weary mind push
through every trial.
disarm that lethal ease, please.
let my love past your smile.

[pre-chorus 2]
lay your head down
on the pillow right next to me.
speak your mind
on the stresses of humanity.
then i’ll sing you a song to sleep.

[chorus 2]
listen to this lullaby -- 
it’s my promise to you.
it’s my vow that i’ll be here for you --
i’ll be a warm hug when you’re feeling cold, 
a crackling fire.
listen to this lullaby.

[outro]
sleep fast my darling,
sleep as i sing.
know that i’ll love you
through everything.

lullaby (demo)

[verse 1]
hey, you — yeah, i'm talkin' to ya,
steel-eyed reflection in the mirror,
drenched from the thunderhead that's gathered.
seek shelter, don't weather this storm on your own.

[chorus 1]
i'm here to say out loud, out loud
everything i know you keep quiet about.
especially when the flood has reached your mouth,
i'll be here and i'll cry out.

[verse 2]
quicksand pouring out from within
pulls you down, every grain cuts your skin.
there's no escaping it's attention.
you know there's no squeezing out water from stone.

[verse 3]
you've got this silly way about ya —
play tricks, convince yourself you're less, yeah.
i hope you snap out of that soon
but i know that shit can be hard to shake, so

[chorus 1]

[bridge part 1]
don't worry, i'm here for you. i will be
your anything, everything you could need.
the spark is deep inside. i'll never leave.
i'll never leave.

[bridge part 2] ×2
i'll cry out, i'll cry out, i'll cry out.
you should never be silenced, oh no.
i'll cry out, i'll cry out, i'll cry out.
we're gonna reach inside and let you out.

[chorus 1] w/countermelody below
i'll cry out, i'll cry out. (×4)

[chorus 2] w/ countermelody above
i'm here to sing my lungs out proud.
dare to gag me — i'll find a way to shout
past the gritty river in my mouth.
i'll be here and i'll cry out.

[outro]
i'll cry out, i'll cry out (×3)
we're gonna reach inside and let me out.

out (demo)

punctuate (demo)

steel yourself (demo)

extraterrestrial

a sometimes somewhat singer/songwriter, musician, composer. sharing/compiling very rough demos of my original works

anis(h)ah

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