The following recording was made spontaneously with no editing. There are sounds of rustling, breathing, sniffling, sobbing, coughing, silence. I believe all these are important, and if you give this a listen I think you will understand why.

This recording was made towards the end of a very powerful psilocybin mushroom journey during which I asked to look at and confront my fear of being seen. I was given that gift. (The answer was that I am always being watched by the spirits and my guides and all the large and small beings around me, so the idea that I wasn’t being watched, that I was successfully hiding, was actually a denial of reality… Whether I hide or not, I am still being seen. Ohhhhhhh!)

I was also gifted insight into the pain body. During this journey I was able to distinctly feel and recognize the difference between the physical body and the pain body. I felt like a baby – a baby who was in a lot of pain.

I was also fasting, so was able to connect with starvation, dehydration, and malnourishment – experiences I had as an infant and that have been held in my body. I used this to connect with the babies of Palestine (and all beings) who are experiencing these need denials. I chose this connection (and this fasting) so that I might build my empathy and my compassion, that I might build my will and my will power and my power.

The big message here is to look at, turn toward, and be with the pain. The pain is a signal. If you turn away from the signal, the signal will amplify. We have to actually hear and respond to the signal in order for it to diminish, in order for your body to trust that you hear it, that you are listening, that you will respond.

I am sharing this because I believe it is important for us individually and culturally, locally and globally, to look at, turn toward, and be with the pain we are feeling and inflicting on ourselves and each other. I think this could be especially impactful for people experiencing chronic pain.

If it feels too big to hold, grow more arms.

annette ruzicka

Popular tracks