A conversation hosted by artist Annie Crabtree exploring medical trauma and the medical system, with joy and solidarity, care and determination. 

This episode accompanied 'Tell me, how do I feel?' a moving image piece exhibited as part of Glasgow International 2021. This moving image work challenges the positioning of people as unreliable narrators and inaccurate witnesses of their own bodies. Grounded in my own experience of ill health and hospitalisation, and informed by numerous conversations, the work collages together archival imagery with new footage and excerpts from medical television dramas. 

The original idea for this series of conversations was brought about as a way to contain the well intentioned yet invasive questions that often arise when you make work about a deeply personal or sensitive subject. As a way to navigate that, and to provide deeper context to ‘Tell me, how do I feel?’, the following two chats with my mum, Jill Powell, and my friend Billie Manu, both of whom feature in my new work, examine the process of making the film, what it was like to collaborate, and their thoughts, opinions and experiences of and about medical trauma from two very different perspectives. 

Content notes: please be aware that this radio piece references medical trauma throughout, including metal distress and psychiatric hospitals. There’s a brief mention of suicide towards the very end at minute 55. So take care of yourself, and skip over if you need to.

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Image credit: Annie Crabtree, Tell me, how do I feel?, 2021. Courtesy of the artist.

Image description: A video still shows a close up image of abstracted, blurry red circles surrounded by black, brown and blue smudges. We’re looking down a lens, and the red planet-like, cell-like structure is the kaleidoscope lens pressed against Annie’s hand. At the bottom of the image, captions of the voice over say ‘Where do we begin?’ in yellow serif font.

Tell Me How Do You Feel – episode 01

Four sources (This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie, The Promised Land by Elvis Presley, The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, and edited extracts from The Bible) layered  over six tracks and played on headphones. Part of larger installation under the same title (This Land) for Glasgow School of Art degree show 2012. 

This Land (layered headphone audio)

This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie as part of larger installation under the same title (This Land) for Glasgow School of Art degree show 2012. Cut to 12 inch vinyl record and played off record player. 

This Land (vinyl record)

1:53 minute extract from Paris, Texas (film). 

AnnieCrabtree