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The Upload

hiraeth. eight months in the making.
featuring: @onlyfriendyeah
produced by: @lindenblossom
cover art by: @ejcarrmusic
i hope you enjoy <3
thank you for everything.

lyrics:
it feels like im missing something
a portrait unfinished
my life has been next to nothing
a chord thats diminished

cuz i’ll wait for change
and better days
just to come home with nothin
or maybe i’ll
just stay the same
cuz im too good at suffering
and i could always
take the blame
for all of my shortcomings 

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(onlyfriend)
maybe it's all for nothing
all the choices i make lead me closer to the coffin
no i can't take the weight of the changes
and i don't rly know what i'm doing
just pretend that you can't see me fading
and shy away raising no alarms
like i'm safe from harm
when i'm too far gone
and i can't hear a word from you

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(both)
hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

spotify!

guitar by acey <3
enjoy~

lyrics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am really dead
taking all the time i have to run it  through my head
kissing on the post, and yet were running to our graves
im lost and fictions running through the top part of my brain
and makes me wanna say

did you notice that im crying in my bed
lost and out of focus, all i wanted, all i said
the moon is telling stories, even time when we aren't friends
i just couldn't notice all the reasons i depend
on ur loving, full offence

yet i am full of dread, and i cant focus what said
the moon is telling stories all i want, and all i said, i could never not, 

but you wanna open up my heart
tell me all ur problems baby, don't know where to start
life is pretty scary, finding love is pretty hard
and open up to people when ur feeling kina scared

you dont know anyone inside ur head
you left a thousand  miles in ur car, ur friends are dead
its been a couple years and now ur terrified to death
and honestly me too
i dont know what to do
im lost and im confused!


yet i am full of dread, and i cant focus what said
the moon is telling stories all i want, and all i said, i could never not, 
UR ALL I EVER WANTED, ALL THATS EVER IN MY HEAD!
i promise you ill try my very best so you depend, we can live a life instead.

The Moon Is Telling Stories (moon II)

When I'm drunk don't piss me off
Please don't ask what's in my cup
Like what you heard from such and such
She's gonn' believe the thoughts I'm tellin' her
'Cause lightning strikes but once
I bite the gun
She says I'm not enough for her 

I don't know my worth
I never learn
Over the hedge not satisfied
I don't know my worth
I never learn
Over the hedge not satisfied 

When I'm high don't kill my buzz 
I thought she believed in us
I don't even care no more I'd probably bleed out on this rug
You a fantasy I dreamt of you a fading thought for sure 
And within this darkest bedroom I remember who you were 

When I'm drunk don't piss me off
Please don't ask what's in my cup
Like what you heard from such and such
She's gonn' believe the thoughts I'm tellin' her
'Cause lightning strikes but once
I bite the gun
She says I'm not enough for her 

I don't know my worth
I never learn
Over the hedge not satisfied
I don't know my worth
I never learn
Over the hedge not satisfied

spotify

over the hedge w/ jomie (p. yunny goldz)

Ohh baby girl you got some nerve
Left me here to rot inside the dirt
If you found a better man you coulda told me first
she said that she loves me thats just words
He just wants your body and to touch up on them curves
But I want more than that
I could treat you right ...
But you just proved to me that you ain't wifey type
Fuck a fight
Get up out my face
This is the 3rd strike
Ghost her at a moments notice
thought I am poltergiest
~
Can't believe everything I did for you to stab me in the back like this
That girl left some holes in my heart like swiss
too good to be true from the start; reminisce
I DON'T WANT YOU BACK
~
Pack your shit and go
I gotta heal all of these scars you dealt
Trust Issues for life
Flick a light feel my body melt
Sick of getting high everynight just to unfeel what you did to me
All this damage on my soul for some mid pussy
~
Bed feels empty
I don't mind
Thoughts may tempt me but
~
Ohh baby girl you got some nerve
Left me here to rot inside the dirt
If you found a better man you coulda told me first
she said that she loves me thats just words
He just wants your body and to touch up on them curves
But I want more than that
I could treat you right ...
But you just proved to me that you ain't wifey type
Fuck a fight
Get up out my face
This is the 3rd strike
Ghost her at a moments notice
thought I am poltergiest
~
That hoe for the streets 
I ain't fuckin wit a cheat
cut her off like circumcision 
I don't want no damn receipt
Had to call up the mortician
cause that bitch is dead to me
I must be an electrician cause this shit ain't shockin me
Know that girl still watchin me cause I am poppin off
you must be mistaking me for someone that I was
I ain't takin shit from you I'm only working out of love
That's why all my numbers up and you've been stuck on drugs

Sometimes it gets lonely in the nighttime
That's when I just write up on the paper all these words
Songs that help me cope with these thoughts so absurd
This my one true love in this life not her

MUSIC VIDEO

NERVE! [Prod. JustDan]

Lyrics
---------
yeah i wake up everyday
think about the things I did yesterday
try to find a reason to go meditate
BUT I AM SO MATERIALISTIC, DONT GIVE MYSELF A BREAK

or maybe too many
I don't spend my time, do anything
serve myself a drink, now I'm tipping
NOW IM SINGING!
TRYNA FIND SOME HOPE THAT I MIGHT MAKE IT!
*yet their all sick of it*

and sick of me too
i ran out of time, now i look like a fool
all my friends, made it look so easy
working on my job, and making music, is so sickening

think i got a little too much in my
system
i keep this bottle going down
till i forget him
look into my eyes
it’s like a picture
chains up to my heart
like im a victim
it’s going down
layed up in my bed
like i’m a patient
cut me round
let’s do it one more time
i’ve been waiting
walk round the house
way too numb
for a month
let’s get this over with
let’s say that we’re done

tell me that i look so pretty
in roses
there’s no way out
of this path
that we’ve chosen
cutting me down
love it’s fine
id do it for you anytime

and if i’m allowed
i’ll see you out
i’ll be your knight
walking out of the house

greenwater ft. skele

Thank you @caspywaspy for the beautiful feature <3

Dxnny 

No use for my flesh
guess im crawling out
backed up into the corner
Fucking done it now
Dip out of the function and im running till my legs give out
(Till my legs give out)

I was never invested
But the sex is..wow
i dont think that i was ever ready for the hell inbound 
she wishes that we were telling eachother our wedding vows
i dont think im ready for commitment there i said it now

She told me its your loss
Well Baby i think that you’re lost
nothing you say is making its way
Through to me
X2

Casperrr

im hurting and im aching
My pain will only make my back break
I love you, you hate me i should run away for my sake
all of the trauma Im facing
I cant believe its a part of my fate
i spend a lot of time of my life just thinking bout solving problems in any other way

She told me it was my loss 
Cant really tell if shes wrong
I just cant think i feel lost
I’ll hide it with addys and bongs

your loss ft casperrr (boy50)

i still see blue

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/user-411557229
prod: saint mike
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah

writing out these letters
lately i can't help
but pray that i get better 
i'm stuck in my own hell
talk to me slow,
don't let me go 

we were so happy,
what happened?
stuck on the past tense
sometimes i miss it 
it's hard to forget it 
blue,
(i still see blue)
i still think of you
(i still think of you)

lay by the lake,
i was never the same 

baby ima masochist at best
got a lot of scars on my chest 
i was your porcelain puppet 
cracks line over my stomach
even with my body going numb
i still wished to feel the cuts 
and after everything was done
i still wanna be your one

(residential:)
am i bothering at all?
kinda wish you stayed 
is it someone else's palms
or the portraits that i framed

is it killing you at all?
cause i can't say the same 
the hazel in your eyes
is embalmed into my brain 

i cant sleep at night 
it's better with time
but i'll

pull it together
keep my dignity tethered
guess it's better than never
your words here forever

(skele:)
fucking wasted my time
still on the back of my mind
fucking wasted my life 
oh trust me, i tried
(trust me i, trust me i tried)



after everything (w/ residential)

mariana

Spotify: https://ampl.ink/j48Br
Visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cW1fCxUIMc

Artists / Producer:
@lilskeleskrrt
@deadspyro

Lyrics:
it’s been a rough couple nights 
and I’ve been feeling so down 
thoughts attack my mind everything is too loud 
I feel my body fall apart I don’t know what to do now 
I think I’ve lost control 
I’m scared to be alone now 

I’m scared to be alone 
be alone 
they tell me I’ll get better but I don’t believe em no
I don’t wanna do this on my own 
I don’t wanna do this on my own

it’s getting harder and harder to breathe 
harder and harder to see 
harder and harder to realize that no ones saving me 
(x2)

skele - scared to be alone (prod. dead spyro)

Ollie - Dead Roses

OMG (drunk td remix)

Tired Of Lust (Prod. Chronyc)

Support jay sek
https://soundcloud.com/jay_sek
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5vgXG...
https://www.instagram.com/jay.sek/

jay sek - would you take it

co prod @ prodbytheswitch

put that beretta to my head
i'm tryna empty the clip
i've been facin every wood
but i can't face what i did

i've been drinkin every night
i don't care what i sip
the more i think about her touch
the more i drink till i'm sick

and i don't, really know what you call that
i keep wishing on the stars for you to call back
and i don't, really know if you care now
girl you're fine, do your thing, let your hair down

she knows i'll always love her
she knows i'll always try
but every time she kisses him
i get better at sayin goodbye

and i don't wanna lose you
but i don't wanna live
i put everything i had inside the heart you gave to him!

put that beretta to my head
i'm tryna empty the clip
i've been facin every wood
but i can't face what i did

i've been drinkin every night
i don't care what i sip
the more i think about her touch
the more i drink till i'm sick

and i don't, really know what you call that
i keep wishing on the stars for you to call back
and i don't, really know if you care now
girl you're fine, do your thing, let your hair down (x2)

jay sek - would you take it

ansilium

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