Ugh.

<a href="http://www.beautyandthebib.com/product.php/1213/35/i-love-my-auntie-pippa" target="_blank">THIS SHIT.</a>

ROYAL BABY! ROYAL BABY! ROYAL BABY! #ROYALBABY!

However, at the time of posting, the creature hasn't actually been born, so try to keep a lid on that ROYAL BABY EXCITEMENT for long enough to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 263, in which we discuss such matters as:

steampunk
Switzerland's self-destructive self-defence
Prince Charles's <a href="http://www.highgroveshop.com/clothes-accessories/hats-scarves/childs-highgrove-check-flat-cap/c-clo00279-280/" target="_blank">flat caps for kiddies</a>
<a href="http://www.geeknative.com/37248/8-impressive-steampunk-top-hats/" target="_blank">goggles on hats</a>
<a href="http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Samuel+Sanchez+Le+Tour+de+France+2011+Stage+Utn_f5Hm2zGl.jpg" target="_blank">the Tour de France yellow jersey vs. the Tour de France polka dot jersey</a>
your lies to your girlfriend vs. everybody else's lies to your girlfriend
Lisa Simpson vs. Nick Cave
Swiss Roll
KW Jeter
<a href="http://www.meltingpot.com/international.aspx" target="_blank">The Melting Pot</a>
and
Euros.

Plus: Olly's money-based conjuring tricks weren't fooling anyone; if Helen's guess is correct and the ROYAL BABY receives the same middle name as Diana, Frances (Francis for a boy), then everybody has to give her £10 in congratulation; and Martin the Sound Man knows where to go in the event of nuclear apocalypse in the middle of Europe.

In this week's Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a> and <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a> we harp on about Royal Baby Krispy Kreme. No, we haven't had a heads-up that the baby will be named Krispy Kreme Kambridge (but if it IS, you definitely have to give us all £10); we're talking about <a href="http://www.krispykreme.co.uk/old-hot-now-use-this-to-untick-hot-now/stories/2013/06/6471/" target="_blank">this shit</a>.

But...if you are absolutely desperate to piss away money on some spurious tie-in with the ROYAL BABY, then the <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/jubilee" target="_blank">AMT Jubilee</a> is obviously the best direction in which to piss. And we have no qualms about recommending our SMASH HIT TOP 15 ALBUM <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/holiday" target="_blank">Answer Me This! Holiday</a>.

Also, please do send us your <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/questions" target="_blank">QUESTIONS</a> for the new series: leave voicemails on the Question Line - call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis - or send emails to <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>.

See you next Thursday,

Helen &amp; Olly

*** AMT262 Child-Friendly Rating: 90%. Minimal swearing and a fair amount of educational content, but one question about a listener's sexual dalliances and the psychologically damaging actions of his girlfriend's parents, which some children may find troubling. ***

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/listen" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/" target="blank">MERCH</a> </h5>

AMT263: Steampunks, le Tour de France, and ROYAL BABY MADNESS - 18 July 2013

In AMT396, questioneers are concerned about crabs eating their babies, The Addams Family, and whether their voodoo doll of their office nemesis worked out a little too well. 

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode396.

For more AMT stuff, head over to answermethisstore.com, where you can get our six special albums, AMT episodes 1-200, and our Best Of compilations.

Send us your questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook facebook.com/answermethis

Hear our other work: Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com; Olly Mann's five podcasts including The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped, and Four Thought at ollymann.com; and Martin Austwick's music at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and the music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

• The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano to mystery-writing to formal logic to Italian. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

Answer Me This

AMT396: The Addams Family, Voodoo Dolls, and Snooping In The Bathroom Cabinet - 1 April 2021

In AMT397, questioneers want to know when meerkats got so popular, why you'd wear an albatross around your neck, what you do when your friends think you're a pennypincher, and whether Mary Shelley had sex on her mother's grave.

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode397.

For more AMT stuff, head over to answermethisstore.com, where you can get our six special albums, AMT episodes 1-200, and our Best Of compilations.

Send us your questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us @helenandolly, and follow us on Facebook facebook.com/answermethis.

Hear our other work: 
Olly Mann has a new podcast, the Retrospectors, which you can find along with his other shows at ollymann.com; 
Helen Zaltzman makes the podcasts The Allusionist - theallusionist.org - and Veronica Mars Investigations VMIpod.com; and Martin Austwick's music is available at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and the music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

• The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano to mystery-writing to formal logic to Italian. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT397: Meerkats, Albatrosses, and Dog Mayors - 6 May 2021

Hello listeners,

Although August is coming to a close, and with it the Edinburgh Fringe, there's still just enough time to incorporate our grade-A publicity techniques into your show. Learn from the masters in Answer Me This! Episode 268, in which we also consider:

SeaWorld
ark logistics
glacier cherries
Peter Nichols' <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passion_Play_(Nichols_play)" target="_blank">Passion Play</a>
Noah's flood vs. the great flood of Edgware
transporting whales
E number 127
aeroplane seat-reclining etiquette
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyZeGOsR9IA">end</a>less Chorus Line
war poetry
and
Barry Scott.

Plus: Olly warns you not to sit behind him on a flight, as he provides his own, er, jet propulsion; Helen still regrets inadvertently reviving the Al Jolson look for Edinburgh Fringe punters; and Martin the Sound Man fails the 'name the artificial colourant in the glacé cherries' game.

In this week's Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a> and <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a>, Helen tells you the magic trick with which you can WOW your friends (or thoroughly disappoint them if all they wanted was a nice refreshing orange).

Don't disappoint us: send us your nice refreshing <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/questions" target="_blank">QUESTIONS</a>. Leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>. If we answer them, as Barry Scott would say: bang, and the doubt is gone.

See you next Thursday,

Helen &amp; Olly

*** AMT268 Child-Friendly Rating: 75%. In the aftermath of <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/episode267/" title="EPISODE 267 – “My wife and I…”" target="_blank">AMT267</a>, this episode opens with further discussion of virginity loss, with concomitant references to genitalia and sexual practices. However the rest of the episode is clean beans, aside from a couple of swears. ***

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/listen" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/" target="blank">MERCH</a> </h5>

AMT268: Noah's Ark, Glacé Cherries and Barry Scott - 22 August 2013

We're settling a lot of couples' disputes in AMT398. Potato in tacos: Y/N? Did all animation used to be worse, or specifically just in Disney's straight to video sequels? And who's from the biggest village? 

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode398.

For more AMT stuff, head over to answermethisstore.com, where you can get our six special albums, AMT episodes 1-200, and our Best Of compilations.

Send us your questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us @helenandolly, and follow us on Facebook facebook.com/answermethis.

Hear our other work:
Olly Mann has a new podcast, the Retrospectors, which you can find along with his other shows at ollymann.com;
Helen Zaltzman makes the podcasts The Allusionist - theallusionist.org - and Veronica Mars Investigations VMIpod.com; and Martin Austwick's music is available at palebirdmusic.com, his innovative new podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and the music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Manscaped, a full range of grooming products for your furry parts. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code ANSWER at Manscaped.com
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT398: Wedding Rings, Edamame, and Straight To Video Sequels - 17 June 2021

In AMT399, we find out about tuning church bells, cheetahs being given pet dogs, Olly getting lost in SeaWorld, how pickled onions inspired soft play, and which ways you might be most likely to be killed by a ball pit. We also have a Big Announcement ahead of episode 400.

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode399.

For more AMT stuff, head over to answermethisstore.com, where you can get our six special albums, AMT episodes 1-200, and our Best Of compilations.

Send us your questions for episode 400, as well as your precious AMT memories - whether our answers to your questions helped or hurt your life, whether you made any friends through the podcast, whether you started your own podcast, the weirdest place or oddest thing you were doing while listening to the show, we want to hear it all! Email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us @helenandolly, and follow us on Facebook facebook.com/answermethis.

Hear our other work:
Olly Mann has a new podcast, the Retrospectors, which you can find along with his other shows at ollymann.com;
Helen Zaltzman makes the podcasts The Allusionist - theallusionist.org - and Veronica Mars Investigations VMIpod.com; and Martin Austwick's music is available at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and the music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Wondrium, the streaming library of tutorials, lectures, documentaries, how-to videos, travel, craft and much more! AMT listeners get 14 days' free access to the whole library at wondrium.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT399: Ginger Beer, Cheetahs' Pet Dogs, and Ball Pits - 1 July 2021

For our very last retro AMT, we returned to a favourite from December 2011: AMT200, where we enlisted our families to answer your questions. And, well, it's a novelty not to be embarrassed just by our own past selves this time.

This episode originally appeared at answermethispodcast.com/episode200.

Episodes 1-200 are available at answermethisstore.com, where you can also get our six special albums.

Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis

Hear Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com, Olly Mann's The Retrospectors, The Modern Mann and more at ollymann.com, and Martin Austwick's Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'answer'.

Retro AMT200

Well this is it, listeners. After 14 years and 8 months and many thousands of questions, AMT400 is the last episode of the show. But we go out on some terrific inquiries, about pigeon navigation, saving Joni Mitchell's childhood home/destroying Shakespeare's final home, the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes, diamond skulls, and eating brunch dangling 150 feet up in the air.

Huge thanks to all of you who sent in lovely messages - and songs! - with your AMT-related emotions and memories. We only included a tiny fraction of your affection in the episode, but know that we read/listened to everything. And maybe wept over it a bit too.

Find more about this episode, including a mega bonus episode of all the extra answers we didn't have room for, at answermethispodcast.com/episode400.

Keep in touch! Here's how to find the three of us: 

Olly Mann is @ollymann on Twitter. His podcasts include The Retrospectors and The Modern Mann, and you can find all of his shows at ollymann.com. 

Helen Zaltzman is @helenzaltzman on Twitter and Instagram. Her podcasts include The Allusionist and Veronica Mars Investigations.

Martin The Sound Man Austwick is @martinaustwick on Twitter and Instagram. His podcasts include Song By Song, Neutrino Watch and Maddie's Sound Explorers - and you can hear his songs via palebirdmusic.com.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Manscaped, a full range of grooming products for your furry parts. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code ANSWER at Manscaped.com.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

Stay subscribed to this feed, cos you never know what the future holds. Until the unknown future happens: bye!!!

AMT400: Sky Dining, Swiss Barbie, and Homing Pigeons - 5 August 2021

A bonus of extra questions, answers and AMT memories

AMT400 bonus

As Halloween approaches, in Answer Me This! Episode 276 we wonder how it is that in films, adorable little girls become UTTERLY TERRIFYING. We also wonder about:


<a href="http://www.cineworld.co.uk/cinemas/61?WT.srch=1&amp;gclid=CPah-bTtrroCFWTHtAodyWwAiQ" target="_blank">Cineworld Stevenage</a>
Stars in their Eyes
the most tree-filled city in Europe
pound shops
Lisa Stansfield
working night shifts
<a href="http://www.cadbury.co.uk/products/Freddo-2407?p=2407" target="_blank">Freddo bars</a>
Bon Jovi vs Dr Alban
Midlands canals vs Venetian canals
the Clee Hills vs the Urals
the Torquay Eye
Chinese restaurants
Stoptober, Movember and Dickember
and
balti.

Plus: Olly gets busy with the passover plate; you can sponsor Helen next time she's buying posh chocolate; and Martin the Sound Man gets a whole question about his birthplace, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxZ1xn2ml10">Birmingham</a>! Beware: the Brummie beast is unleashed...

In this week's Bit of Crap on the App (available for <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a>, <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a> and <a href="http://apps.microsoft.com/windows/en-gb/app/answer-me-this/4a39a286-b630-4e2b-9866-8f2a12fd3508" target="_blank">Windows</a>) we tackle a question from Ali from Cambridge, who after her recent break-up is gripped by the urge to chop her hair off. Classic technique, Ali.

We do want your whelming facts about Birmingham, or even your own hometown, but most of all we want your <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/questions" target="_blank">QUESTIONS</a>: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>.

See you next Thursday,

Helen &amp; Olly

*** AMT276 Child-Friendly Rating: 87%. A couple of swears, though the strongest are quoting a child, Regan in The Exorcist. ***

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/listen" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/" target="blank">MERCH</a> </h5>

AMT276: Pound Shops, Movember and Facts About Birmingham - 24 October 2013

Hey! Listeners! What are you doing here? Throw your internet devices to the floor and sprint to Chelmsford in order to be second in the queue (behind this week's questioneer Melanie) at the new <a href="http://dunkindonuts.co.uk/" target="_blank">Dunkin' Donuts</a> opening tomorrow in Chelmsford!

Or if you don't give many shits about that, sit tight and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 283 instead. In it we speak of:

coffee beans
giving people 'the tour'
Terry's Chocolate Orange
Bruno Mars
sushi vinegar
C3P(ost)O(ffice)
close-up Christopher Lee
Red Hot Chili Peppers
red hot chilli peppers
<a href="http://www.ihop.com/" target="_blank">IHOP</a> vs <a href="http://www.kennedyspacecenter.com/" target="_blank">NASA</a>
the <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100505135025/http://www1.duracell.com/power/za/bunny-history.aspx" target="_blank">Duracell Bunny</a> vs the <a href="http://www.energizer.com/energizer-bunny/Pages/bunny-center.aspx" target="_blank">Energizer Bunny</a>
Barbie vs Bratz
sad second-rate Sindy
and
the politics of Polly Pocket.

Plus: Olly ruins vinegar for everybody; Helen ruins Mrs Pepperpot for everybody; and Martin the Sound Man <a href="https://soundcloud.com/sotl-podcast/58-spanish-flea#t=4:00" target="_blank">ruins 'Spanish Flea' for everybody (around the 4-minute mark)</a>.

In this week's Bit of Crap on the App (install it on your <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a>, <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a> and <a href="http://apps.microsoft.com/windows/en-gb/app/answer-me-this/4a39a286-b630-4e2b-9866-8f2a12fd3508" target="_blank">Windows</a> gadgets), we wonder why Heston Blumenthal has not yet mass-produced a meat-filled chocolate orange. Not that we want one. 

We do want your <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/questions" target="_blank">QUESTIONS</a>, though: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and deliver emails to <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>.

Thanks to <a href="http://squarespace.com" target="_blank">Squarespace.com</a> for funding this episode; use the code answer2 to snag a 10% discount off their services for a whole year.

We'll be back on 27th February; in the meantime, listen to Olly on the now-national <a href="http://www.lbc.co.uk/olly-mann-homepage-55821" target="_blank">LBC</a> and Helen on the international-despite-the-name <a href="http://www.mixcloud.com/sparklondon/best-of-spark-london-1-helen-zaltzman/" target="_blank">Spark London podcast</a> and Martin on his <a href="http://www.thesoundoftheladies.com/content/music/" target="_blank">intergalactic noise-platform</a>.

Byeeee!

Helen &amp; Olly


*** AMT283 Child-Friendly Rating: 38%. Some swears. Olly talks about his burning genitalia. Speculation about Mrs Pepperpot's sex life, but in terms a child hopefully won't fully understand. Intermission features colourful semen. Reference to a Prince Albert that you may have trouble explaining to your youngling. ***

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/classic" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/" target="blank">MERCH</a> </h5>

AMT283: Bruno Mars, the Duracell Bunny, and the sex life of Mr and Mrs Pepperpot - 13 February 2014

Hello listeners! 

Very exciting news: we've made a <a href="http://t.co/4P3pPTJnmd" target="_blank">Radio 4 documentary to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the word 'podcast'</a>. It's in two installments, out at 11am on Friday 4th and 11th April. It features many podcasting luminaries - including <a href="http://wtfpod.com" target="_blank">Marc Maron</a>, <a href="http://99percentinvisible.org" target="_blank">Roman Mars</a>, <a href="http://www.keithandthegirl.com/" target="_blank">Keith and the Girl</a>, <a href="http://maximumfun.org/shows/one-bad-mother" target="_blank">Theresa Thorn</a>, <a href="http://www.bettyinthesky.net/" target="_blank">Betty in the Sky</a>, the <a href="http://thebuglepodcast.com/" target="_blank">Bugle</a>rs, the <a href="http://commonplacebooks.com/" target="_blank">Night Vale</a>rs, and also our old adversary <a href="http://richardherring.com/" target="_blank">Richard Herring</a>. If you can't wait for eight whole days to hear us talk to him, listen to the recent <a href="http://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_herring_lst_podcast/episode_36_helen_and_olly/" target="_blank">RHLSTP</a> in which we air all that dirty laundry. 

Amid all this talk of other things to listen to, don't forget to apply yourself to Answer Me This! Episode 286, in which we discuss:


castles
Oktoberfest
chilled red wine
velvet ropes
decorative sticks
babysitting vs kitten-sitting
Mardi Gras vs Pancake Day
Navajo rugs vs dreamcatchers
Glastonbury scheduling
Panama (Ecuador) hats
<a href="http://ladydinahs.com/" target="_blank">London's cat cafe</a>
mythical bestiality
and
the first ever porn film.

Plus: Olly was all business, no pleasure at his school leavers' ball; Helen prefers the pong of garlic breath to perfume; and Martin the Sound Man worries about worldly souvenirs making him into a bellend. Don't worry Martin, you were already a bellend! JK. (Or is it?)

Today's Bit of Crap on the App contains more perfume-chat, in which Olly sabotages any future he had as a department store perfume salesperson. Pinch your nose and spray the app into your ears from your <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a>, <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a> or <a href="http://apps.microsoft.com/windows/en-gb/app/answer-me-this/4a39a286-b630-4e2b-9866-8f2a12fd3508" target="_blank">Windows</a> gadgets.

Here's something that doesn't stink: today's episode-funders <a href="http://squarespace.com" target="_blank">Squarespace.com</a> offering you a 10% discount off their services for a whole year if you use the code answer3. What a breath of fresh air!

And finally, we ask that you take a deep breath and send us your <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/questions" target="_blank">QUESTIONS</a>: call the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or email <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>.

Back in a fortnight!

Helen &amp; Olly

*** AMT286 Child-Friendly Rating: 42%. First three quarters are clean, apart from a couple of questioneer-led swears. The episode ends on a question about porn films, but by then your children will probably have fallen asleep during the earlier question about road signs. ***

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/classic" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/" target="blank">MERCH</a> </h5>

AMT286: Oktoberfest, Castles and the First Ever Naughty Film - 27 March 2014

We're coming out of retirement for one last job. There'll be a new episode in your podfeed on the first Thursday of April 2023, and for it, we need YOUR QUESTIONS. You remember the procedure: send your queries to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com in written or voicenote form. Your deadline is 13 March. 

Do it, because you never know how long it'll be before we unretire again!

Your gone but not forgotten friends,

Helen and Olly

This is not a drill

Welcome back AMT for one special new episode! So much has changed since we retired nearly two years ago, but what remains is our desire to answer your questions. Today, questioneers wonder about what to say about working in a world-famous place, romantic bacon competitions, unromantic but important kebab competitions, Danielle Steel's sleeping habits, and looking at their own semen through a microscope.

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode401.

We don't know whether/when we will pop up in your feed again, so stay subscribed! And follow us on facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/helenandolly.

Hear our other work:

Olly Mann has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at ollymann.com.
Helen Zaltzman makes the The Allusionist, an entertainment podcast about language, which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org.
Martin Austwick's music is available at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Wondrium, the streaming library of tutorials, lectures, documentaries, how-to videos, travel, craft and much more! AMT listeners get 14 days' free access to the whole library at wondrium.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT401: Danielle Steel, kebab awards and detestable birds

Today, one poor tired questioneer asks how to stop being kept awake by their mum's sex noise. Any advice for them? Apart from cranking up Answer Me This! Episode 291 for forty-three minutes of respite?

We speak of:

hat world records
rodeo clowns
bank robbery
converting to Judaism
baht vs Bitcoin
<a href="http://youtu.be/FJbH81Vu1Tw" target="_blank">Craig David's Toffee Crisps</a> vs <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4ZUaxyPoZ8" target="_blank">Busta Rhymes' Courvoisier</a>
Papal holidays
presidential golf
<a href="http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Tourism-g608890-Castel_Gandolfo_Province_of_Rome_Lazio-Vacations.html" target="_blank">Castel Gandolfo</a>
Chequers
webuyanycar.com
the pronunciation of 'niche'
shaking like a Polaroid picture
and
$.

Plus: Olly will SEE YOU IN HELL if you use Shazam during the pub quiz music round; Helen has a terrible confession to make about Pitbull; and Martin the Sound Man is panicking about what to talk about if he is ever invited on a lads' holiday with the Pope. We smell an odd couple sitcom...

In today's Bit of Crap on the App, we contemplate the wellbeing of the boys brought together as <a href="http://mcbusted.com/" target="_blank">McBusted</a>, and of Jason Orange's tearducts. Hear it and not-weep on your <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtapp" target="blank">iDevices</a>, <a href="http://tinyurl.com/androidAMT" target="blank">Android</a> or <a href="http://apps.microsoft.com/windows/en-gb/app/answer-me-this/4a39a286-b630-4e2b-9866-8f2a12fd3508" target="_blank">Windows</a> gadgets.

Bestow your questions upon us by calling the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or email <a href="mailto:answermethispodcast@googlemail.com">answermethispodcast@googlemail.com</a>. And extend the hand of online friendship by joining us at <a href="http://facebook.com/answermethis" target="_blank">facebook.com/answermethis</a> and/or <a href="http://twitter.com/HelenAndOlly" target="_blank">twitter.com/HelenAndOlly</a>.

It only remains for us to thank <a href="http://squarespace.com" target="_blank">Squarespace.com</a> for supporting this episode. They're also supporting your own website-building enterprises by offering you 10% off their services for a whole year if you use the code Answer. Gawd bless'em.

And gawd bless you, listeners! We shall return on Thursday 19th June with AMT292, barring terrifying and unforseeable acts of gawd.

Helen &amp; Olly

••• AMT291 Child-Friendly Rating: 54%. A few F-bombs. A clip about the clap. Question about parent's sex life, the very notion of which may traumatise your child. •••

<h5 style="text-align:center;">• <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums" target="blank">ALBUMS</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/classic" target="blank">CLASSIC EPISODES</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/book" target="blank">BOOK</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/iTunesAMT" target="blank">iTUNES</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/amtsoundcloud" target="blank">SOUNDCLOUD</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/faq/" target="blank">FAQ</a> •
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTapp" target="blank">iPHONE APP</a> • <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTdroid" target="blank">ANDROID APP</a> • <a href="http://www.facebook.com/answermethis" target="blank">FACEBOOK</a> • <a href="http://twitter.com/helenandolly" target="blank">TWITTER</a> • <a href="http://youtube.com/helenandolly" target="blank">YOUTUBE</a> • <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/superstore/"

AMT291: Bank Robbery, The Pope on Holiday, and Craig David's Toffee Crisps - 5 June 2014

Visit http://answermethispodcast.com/episode296 all the information you crave about this episode.

AMT296: The Great British Bake Off, Ballet and Gromit - 21 August 2014

All the information about this episode resides at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode298

AMT298: Henry Hoover, 'Uptown Girl' and Being Shot In The Balls - 18 September 2014

Visit http://answermethispodcast.com/episode301 for all the information you crave about this episode.

AMT301: Rock Circus, Hooters and the Chippendale Murders - 30 October 2014

Jog along to answermethispodcast.com/episode306 to read all about today's episode.

Send questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)
Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes and albums at answermethisstore.com

AMT306: Ainsley Harriott, Colleagues on Tinder, and Chicken Kiev - 22 January 2015

Today we deliberate over careers, redundancy, hair dye and the Royals eating hot dogs. Jog over to http://answermethispodcast.com/episode308 to learn more about this episode.

Send questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)
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AMT308: Pink Hair, Sleeping Naked and Tom Jones's Knickers - 19 February 2015

Today we learn the topless past of the Starbucks logo, how you get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and the cost of installing a bowling alley in your house. Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode311.

Send questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)
Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
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Buy old episodes and albums at answermethisstore.com

AMT311: Buddha, Starbucks and the Hollywood Walk of Fame - 2 April 2015

While Britain Brexits, the rest of us brick it. Well, one listener certainly does, as the proud owner of a single brick. Congratulations, that man. 

Find out more about Answer Me This! Episode 334 at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode334.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
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Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com 

AMT334: Glastonbury, the Genius Bar and the Price of Bricks - 30 June 2016

Who let the dogs out? And who got the dogs stoned? We address these canine questions and many more in Answer Me This! Episode 335. Find out more about it at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode335.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
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Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com

AMT335: Lego for the Lovelorn, Oscars for Oscar, and Drugs for Dogs - 14 July 2016

Would you rather:

a) be confronted with the reality that your parent is a fully functioning sexual being;
b) eat a brain;
c) drink Cointreau with a late-night kebab?

These are just some of the struggles we deal with in AMT337. Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode337.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
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Answer Me This!

AMT337: Tandems, Oil Pulling and Reading Mum's Diary

Your mother's been given some free space cake but she doesn't want to fail her workplace's random drug tests. What should she do? We tackle this question and many more in AMT338.

Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode338.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
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AMT338: Olympic Medals, Capital Cities and Cheating At Drug Tests - 25 August 2016

In AMT339, all hail the greatest Middleton sibling - not the one that begat the next generation of royals; not the one with 2011's favourite bottom; the Marshmallow King! 

We also discover that Pringles were actually cakes, until they weren't; how you would have alerted the emergency services before phones; and the unbearable fleekness of being.

Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode339.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com

AMT339: Dalmatians, Jaffa Cakes and Being On Fleek

Listeners, how terribly remiss of us to make it through three quarters of 2016 without marking the fact that it has been designated by the UN as the International Year of Pulses. But thankfully there's still three months of it in which to celebrate, starting with a pulverised pea party in AMT340.

Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode340.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com

AMT340: Fitbits, Whale Poo and Mushy Peas

In AMT341, Olly has some big news. Is it about his cat? Is it about an amazing bargain he bought at Costco?? Is it about a fake tan spray that never fades??? Is it even better than any of those things???? Listen now to find out!

There's more information about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode341.

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Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com

AMT341: Dirty Diana, McDonald's Fries and Frogs' Legs

What do you do when your friend has fallen for a pathological liar? Do you a) confront the fibber with evidence of their deceit, or b) write to a comedy podcast? It's fairly easy for you to find out: just listen to AMT342.

There's more information about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode342.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis
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Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com

AMT342: Pathological Liars, the Oscars Curse, and Supergroups - 20 October 2016

A questioneer today finds themselves in quite the consternation after clicking on the link to a friend's wedding list...and finding a dazzling array of Adult Pleasure Implements. And we're not talking golf clubs or top-of-the-range espresso machines here.

Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode356.

Send us questions for future episodes: email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes, albums and our Best Of compilations at http://answermethisstore.com

Hear Helen Zaltzman's podcast The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org, Olly Mann's The Modern Mann at http://modernmann.co.uk, and Martin Austwick's Song By Song at http://songbysongpodcast.com.

AMT356: Ghost Pubs, Cheesecake, and NSFW Weddings - 2 November 2017

It's AMT's 11th birthday! To celebrate, we can't replicate how Olly spent his own 11th birthday, at Cody's Tex-Mex restaurant in Stevenage, because it closed down. So instead we've made some mild-to-moderate life changes - hear all about them AMT358.

Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode358.

Send us questions for future episodes: email words or voice memos to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis
Buy old episodes, albums and our Best Of compilations at http://answermethisstore.com

Hear Helen Zaltzman's podcast The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org, Olly Mann's The Modern Mann at http://modernmann.co.uk, and Martin Austwick's Song By Song at http://songbysongpodcast.com.

AMT358: Sexy Yoghurt, Chutney, and Your Friend's Gross Hot Tub - 4 January 2018

Is it OK to steal someone else's discarded room service jam? Is it OK to let friends take me on an all-expenses-paid holiday? Is it OK that my sister-in-law has given her dog the same name as my child? And is whatever the heck is going on in the video for 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' OK?

We deal with all these questions and more in AMT379 - and, following last month's consideration of the mathematical riddle 'As I Was Going To St Ives', we receive clarification from the actual mayor of St Ives! 

Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode379.

Send us questions for future episodes: email written words or voice memos to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis

Hear AMT episodes 1-200, all five of our special albums, and our Best Of compilations at http://answermethisstore.com. 

Hear Helen Zaltzman's podcast The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org, Olly Mann's The Modern Mann at http://modernmann.co.uk, and Martin Austwick's Song By Song at http://songbysongpodcast.com.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to http://squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'answer'.

AMT379: Fly Spray, Dogs vs Children, and Garlic Breath - 7 November 2019

In AMT381, questioneers are worrying about lost jewels, stinking out the office, dad doing the gardening in the nude, and what happens to trains in Thomas The Tank Engine when they die.

Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode381.

Send us questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis

Hear AMT episodes 1-200, all five of our special albums including AMT Love, and our Best Of compilations at http://answermethisstore.com. 

Hear our other work: Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com; Olly Mann's five podcasts including The Modern Mann and The Media Podcast at ollymann.com; and Martin Austwick's music at palebirdmusic.com and his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at http://songbysongpodcast.com.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to http://squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT381: Slapstick, Eggy Smell and Your Naked Dad - 9 January 2020

Welcome! We hope you're doing OK. We're keeping AMT a pandemic-free pod, so if you're looking for content to take your mind off things for a bit, AMT384 can provide, with questioneers wondering why leopard print is considered sexy, how ghostwriters get paid, and what to do with their father's huge collection of old buildings and toasters.

Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode384.

Send us questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis

Hear AMT episodes 1-200, all five of our special albums, and our Best Of compilations at http://answermethisstore.com. 

Hear our other work: Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com; Olly Mann's five podcasts including The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped, and The Media Podcast at ollymann.com; and Martin Austwick's music at palebirdmusic.com and his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at http://songbysongpodcast.com.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to http://squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT384: Leopard Print, Badger Repellent, and a Fortress of Toasters - 2 April 2020

Content warning: animal cruelty. In AMT391, we hear about eviscerated rabbits, I'm A Celebrity food-kills, and a zoo in a deadly stunt. But there's some mysterious dog magic to compensate.

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode391.

Send us questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook facebook.com/answermethis

Our new album Home Entertainment is available now for £paywhatyouwant for a limited period at answermethisstore.com, where you can also obtain our other special albums including the AMT Christmas; AMT episodes 1-200; and our Best Of compilations.

Hear our other work: Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com; Olly Mann's five podcasts including The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped, and Four Thought at ollymann.com; and Martin Austwick's music at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and his new music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from chess to mystery fiction to yoga to formal logic to dog training. AMT listeners get a free month at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT391:  Video Phones, Scrumping Apples, and Going Over Niagara Falls in a Barrel - 5 November 2020

Here's a little song from our brand new album, Answer Me This! Holiday, available now from <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTHoliday">iTunes</a> and <a href="http://tinyurl.com/AMTHolidayAmazon">Amazon</a>. Find out more at <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/holiday">answermethispodcast.com/holiday</a> and discover our other exclusive albums at <a href="http://answermethispodcast.com/albums">answermethispodcast.com/albums</a>

Answer Me This! Holiday: 'hotel song'

Put your arm out, palms up, now touch your biceps, cradle the back of your head, hand on hip, other hand on other hip, pat each buttock and JUMP because in AMT395 we're learning about the Macarena dance! As well as Rita Ora's hats, wearing sports merch for a team you don't support, and winning a car at the airport.

Find out more about this episode at answermethispodcast.com/episode395.

For more AMT stuff, head over to answermethisstore.com, where you can get our six special albums, AMT episodes 1-200, and our Best Of compilations.

Send us your questions for future episodes: email written words or voice recordings to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Tweet us twitter.com/helenandolly
Facebook facebook.com/answermethis

Hear our other work: Helen Zaltzman's podcasts The Allusionist at theallusionist.org and Veronica Mars Investigations at VMIpod.com; Olly Mann's five podcasts including The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped, and Four Thought at ollymann.com; and Martin Austwick's music at palebirdmusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com, and the music'n'science podcast Maddie's Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate, at smarturl.it/soundexplorers.

This episode is sponsored by:

• The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano to mystery-writing to formal logic to Italian. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code 'ANSWER'.

AMT395: Bobble Hats, the Hollywood Sign and the Macarena - 4 March 2021

Answer Me This! is an award-winning weekly comedy podcast, hosted by Helen Zaltzman and Olly Mann, which has been answering the world's questions since 2007. Email your questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, call 0208 123 5877 or Skype AnswerMeThis. Subscribe via iTunes at http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis

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