I want to be better
In every sense of the word
Wish that I 
stood my ground more
Wish that I kept my word 
I want to be stronger
Have the courage to die 
Strong enough so if the fire burns in front of me, and 
Tries to melt away integrity
I will not fall, but i still fall 

If I were an angel; with
Wings as tall as
evergreens that grow at night 
Can't decide if I would set my sights 
On greater things, or settle 
For the forest life and fall alone,
Am I alone? 

Chorus:
I can't find my way (faith)
I can't find my way (faith)
I try to leave an open space 
And look to God to open ways...
But nightmares find 
me every day, tempting me with selfish ways 
And dragons seem to easily 
Block my line of sight to see 
The sun that's there 
God if you're strong 
Would you change 
what I long for? 
(oh god if you're strong...)
and down this path that I've been down,
are memories of the one
Who came to my rescue 
I can't describe how many times, I've lost my way on darker trails than you'll ever find 
And the girl who sits right next to me
and works so hard to fight with me come rain or shine 
Deserves a better man  
I want to be better 
But I don't know if I can 
If I'm alone
I know that I'm better 
I'm what I'm meant to be 
With all the apathy and loneliness, quiet words, 
And yeah, I need glass to see,
but that's me. 

And I'm not alone. 


Better

You said you’d be my shoreline,
When the storm comes at night
And chase the waves from my eyes
That your strong hand would find mine,
And pull me into the daylight

But here i am shipwrecked out here,
Losing strength to the same fights,
I can't see the land through the midnight 
Breathing water at the same time 

You said you'd be my lifeline
When the wind hits my blindside
You said you'd be my captain, I trusted this 
You're always good on your promises 

So where do your words move and come to life? 
Making changes in these dirty eyes of mine?
Are you just sleeping at the wheel, In the meantime,
I'm falling.....


Night falls faster
I wasn't lost like this last year
What happened to my faith?
It's broken down, I don't have 
A map anymore, I lost that
When the ship went down

I read a story in a book a long time ago, something tells me 
That storms are not as powerful
As you, so if I pray to the sky with
Your name, will you hear my voice above the sound of the crashing waves? 

So here I am, oh God, I'm stranded, I don't know where the lifeboats landed, I know I'm just a sailor man, but I'm slipping from the edges, I could really use a savior and- 

All of a sudden the peace that I'm searching for lives in a hand 
He's reaching deeper than I understand
I can't seem to find my way back to land 
But I'm reaching, I'm reaching. 


SailorPrayers

Looks like sleep again
I forgot my friend 
Caught me wandering
Lost in this wasteland 
Looks like sleep again 
I forgot my friend 
Caught in my idol-ness 
Lost in this wasteland 
Seems like I'm weak again...
I forgot my friend
Disappointed you...
Lost in this wasteland 
Feels like the wish of the sand in the middle of summer when
it’s hardest for something green to grow
And I know the floods often come when the sun sets,
but it feels like the last one was years ago 
So now I’m waiting but I don’t know why
Burning in the desert with the lights out
And guidance is hard to find
Stuck in the space in the air b etween the question,
"will you marry me?” and the final word
if the answer came immediately, 
I don’t know if I could really trust your word
So I don’t know if the wasteland is meant to be
I don’t know if the water is safe to drink
I just got this feeling that there must be a horizon
and I’ll do my best not to  fall asleep...
Looks like love again
I forgot my friend
Woke me up again
With his broken hands 



Wasteland

All my life, I’ve felt a purpose that burns, a special something inside
But I don’t appear that way, instead
Sloppy and lazy, forgetful and dead
They think I’m not real, despite the gleam in these eyes
and my God who supplies
I guess I’ll try real hard then,  
work my skin to the bone in hopes that good work will show
God you’ll bless that right? 
Open a door for my way during the dead in the night
//It's not working 
I’m falling backwards 
Im still searching...but
I want to be real
If I pulled away the skin on my face, 
Exposed blood that runs in my veins, 
Could I satisfy you with my skeleton?
And if my bones would just appear in my place 
And break the cycles I get stuck in for days
That would take my breath away
He said hold on tight, though the struggle will come,
We’ll left our heads with the light
So here I am, treading the waves hoping that something has changed
inside so I can stand up and never back down, 
craving a different me, wearing a different crown
and hold my head up high
I’m making changes this time, Im making changes this time
It's not working 
I’m falling backwards 
Im still searching...but
I want to be real! 

(Chorus)

Searching for better ways 
Praying for changes every day
Trying out everything, I can’t escape this 
Good intentions alone don't medicate
Seems to be that my heart can't communicate 
from my bones to my will feels like an easy trip,
but something always seems to get lost along the way, so
If I pulled away the skin on my face, 
Exposed the blood that runs In my veins, 
Could I satisfy you with my skeleton?



(Background Picture taken by Folkert Gorter)


Skeleton

THE COLD (R#2)

Temporary Michigan boy, home grown in Seattle, Wa. I just make music I want to listen to. It's mostly sad sounding. Stick around if you dare!

Anthony Lyder

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