Tommy Cooper

Unbirthday Party

we are the undeserving poor
we don't feel like trying anymore
we're told it's meritocracy
that we're responsible for our failings

it's easy being broke when you're broken
it's easy being broke when you're free and lazy
it's easy being broke 'cause if we had a salary we'd still spend every penny we earn on the ones we love

we're gonna make great britain great again?
we're gonna make things like they were oh, way back when?

we're told that we must unite
as if we're all the same person
me? I could increase my use value
but I am satisfied with this cup of tea, no bursary

it's easy being broke 'cause I'm broken
it's easy being broke 'cause I'm free and lazy
it's easy being broke 'cause if I had a salary I'd still spend every penny I earn on the ones I love

Love

we're gonna make great britain great again?
we're gonna make things like they were oh, way back when?

Entrenched (A Stock Photo Revolution Song)

anthony pinetree: vocals, guitars, samples, additional synths
mike botzaropoulos: production, synths, percussion, mastering





immediately when you arrive at the supermarket
the automatic doors at the entrance tell you that there's something special about this place
there's no need to bother using your hands because some mysterious force always opens the door for you
maybe it's the force of god? who knows
but the doors open every time without fail
whatever this force is, it's a consistent bastard, that's for sure

mummy and me used to go to the supermarket
where vegetables grow in green baskets
we'd make works of art from the soup tins
sing to the hymns blasting the aisles from the supermarket radio

maybe tonight i will eat some frozen broccoli
and serve it with nothing but ketchup
these deadly made up sounding chemicals make me feel more alive
than love ever could

very smart people write books about capitalism
and i agree it's probably bad
sometime in '99 mummy and me went to the supermarket
and i've not been as happy since

maybe tonight i will eat ten bags of prawn cocktail crisps
and hate myself after
i'll make myself feel sick if that's what it takes to recapture your 
supermarket love

take me back
i'll always be a boy
take me

Supermarket Love

dear mr. pope
it's been a while since I last confessed
can you distil my incontinence?
I hope you get this letter so I die
die a little later

dear mr. pope
I hate to probe but in the book of job
how can faith still persist when we lose everything we own?

at least I need a shower
to wash away the hours
an excuse to stand up straight

Job managed to stay skinny by praying off the pounds
whereas I could eat a leg of lamb fit for an amputee
and still be hungry

dear mr. pope
if I take off my clothes through poetry and prose
will you pleasure me where it hurts the most?
I hope you get this letter so I die
die a little later

dear mr. pope
I am writing this letter to you in virgin blood
sealed with a Judas kiss

you can operate my bones
violate my home
decorate me with stones
at least I'll look pretty then

I am going home
where there is no hope
destroy me now
I submit

Dear Mr. Pope

anthony pinetree: vocals, guitar, samples, additional production
Mike Botzaropoulos: production, samples, synths, mastering, putting up with me


(oh my goodness the dishwasher's broken)

we worked hard for this country cottage
now owning milkmaids is being abolished
this morning for the first time I made my own porridge
I think I read in The Telegraph
that private property is basic math
us landowners must unite and seize the means of stagnation
the economy is all we got now baby
the economy is all we need
we'll occupy our nearest council estate
pretend we're the best of mates coz that's why we're neighbours

are you a rich neighbour?
yes I am
then we gotta get together and dance
clap your hands to the neighbours beat
looks like you're having a good time out there
well I'm not 
but that's okay because I got money and shit
thanks
really grateful for the love and support
feeling suicidal but on stage but I appreciate it
anyway I've gotta get back to this narrative now
(could you pass me the creme brulee)

we've gentrified housing benefit
spent the surplus on etiquette
put a sign outside every house saying Canis Canem Edit (probably pronounced this incorrectly)
we've got a proletarian of our own
I skimmed poor Barry to the bone
he dances like the devil when I hit him with the kettle
green tea tastes better with blood
in our post-prandial proceedings we play hopscotch with a glass of scotch
every time we get to 10 we take a few Xanax then for for a nap it's bedtime

RIP Lil Peep
I'm serious about that one (very in fact)
where I'm going I don't know
but I'm a rich rockstar

the economy will be fine
if we pretend until the end of time
the economy will save us all

NEIGHBOURS GOT EACH OTHER ETC

The Means of Stagnation

everything's diminished
way to go my friend
i'm singing again for nothing
it's britain for the british
doner kebab
my heart hurts so much

my hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi
gwlad beirdd a chantorion enwogion o fri

i'm just standing
spent a churchill on cleaning products i'll never use
it's britain for the british
everything's diminshed

Britain for the British

Anthony PInetree: Piano, Guitar, Vocals, Additional Production
Mike Botzaropoulos: Strings, Bass, Production
Ianto Jones: Cover Art

My song is alone
not seeking answers
just entertainment
that'll do for now

My song dreams of New York City
a place he'll only see
through the lens of a black and white tv

My song is unipolar
waiting for a new colour
worried this is all there'll ever be
he's convinced that being happy is an unjust reality

I sit here drinking 3/4s
in a chic bar in Stockholm
what's the difference being pissed here and pissed home
stop trying to be found
stop pretending its profound
it all amounts to a small tube of texas bbq pringles
30% salt

My song is make believe
too tired to achieve
My song clings onto the dreams of youth
and the jokes he used to make
they were funny then
they're not funny now

I will never ever let you die
(by my side)

Black & White TV

I woke up at 4pm this morning
swallowed a fluoextine with an espresso
or as the Portuguese call it 'um bica' (sic)
had a couple of Crunchy Nut Clusters hand picked from the bag located inside the box
so much plastic waste
just so I don't have to cook

I'm 24
not a kid no more
it would be a very pleasant notion indeed to go on a holiday outside my head


stop thinking about being dead
cmon stop it

I remember when I first bought these fading blue Gazelles
it was if I just won Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
I'd love to meet Chris Tarrant as well just putting that out there
my stomach hurts as always
so I'm gonna try a few blueberries
rinsing out pesticides just so I don't have to cook

I'm 24
not a kid no more

it would be a very pleasant notion indeed to lift my spine off of this springy bed

stop thinking about being dead
cmon stop it

beauty warps and fades (I suspect)

'this is dirty money, our 6 players today are...'

The Fluoxetine & Espresso Jam

cover art by cavalodinheiro (feat. sexygamerboy)

i'm pregnant with myself
i need to take better care of my mental wealth
I dunno how

it's a full time job
with no sick pay
no holiday

I'm not well

i'm so scared of giving birth
another me upon the earth
minimum wage is more than I'm worth
as long as I have enough to feed my daughter right

I know that I'm not well
that I'm incapable being in a room
I just become wallpaper
a dull grey and patternless
I hope there's colour in her face
and she'll be well

someone please paint on me
make a hideous work of art out of me
turn me into something pretty
just make feel that I deserve to be alive

paint on me
someone paint on me

I'm not well

Paint on Me (I'm Not Well)

https://anthonypinetree.bandcamp.com

my mixtape out now on bandcamp. arguably a top 5 welsh-portuguese musician of all time.

Anthony Pinetree

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