Eye For An Eye is about a toxic friendship I was in for a while. They were my best friend and it wasn’t until later that I realized how awful the relationship was. They were extremely manipulative, and always claiming that they were the victim, hence the line, “playing the helpless victim is your favorite game.” Writing this song was a way of releasing some of the negative emotions I was feeling at the time.

Eye For An Eye

Solemn Farewell is at its core a suicide note. As someone who has had suicidal thoughts, the song explores some of my thoughts in my darkest times. In the chorus I sing the line, “I was never here to begin with,” essentially meaning that physically killing myself wouldn’t make much of a difference, because I was already dead.

Solemn Farewell

This is my cover of "Hate to say I Told You So" by The Hives.

Hate To Say I Told You So

Alternate Vision talks about my feeling that folk’s perception of me is different than who I am, and the sense of not belonging. Particularly, feeling like people see me as an unrealistic being who has it all figured out, forgetting that I’m just a person with emotions and issues of my own. When I wrote it, I was feeling that extra strongly, and yearning to find a place to fit and be seen as I am.

Alternate Vision

Vacant is a breakup song. I wrote it a few days after my ex-partner and I had broken up. I was so empty and devoid of positivity. The song goes through my thoughts of guilt and pain. I didn’t want to ever feel anything again, I wanted to just stay hollow, hence, “Hollow out my skin and bones, I’ve wasted them.”

Vacant

Blunt Force - B Side

Eclipse

Devoid is inspired by the anime Attack on Titan. The plotlines of Attack on Titan are intricate and layered, and it’s one of my favorite shows. I was watching a particularly dark episode and felt inspired to write from the perspective of a scout from the Survey Corps watching their fellow soldiers suffer.

Musically this track draws a lot of inspiration from Deftones. I included multiple layers and intricate parts to parallel the inspiration for the song. The song is driven by a distorted guitar and heavy bass line which gives an overall melancholy feel to the song. The song ends with a more ethereal guitar solo which highlights the emotions of the song. My hope is that this song is written in a way that appeals to both fans of Attack on Titan as well as general fans of grunge music.

Devoid

The guitar riff and musical concept for Hostage was written during a rehearsal with my band. I was doing a funky octave slide on guitar, and we started a jam based on that. After playing around with it at a few rehearsals, I asked the band if I could add lyrics and record it professionally. I hadn’t fully fleshed out the song until the day of recording, and wrote the lyrics the night before. There was definitely pressure to get it all done in time to record, but the song came together rapidly and it is one of my favorites on the EP. 

The lyrics describe feeling like a hostage to the cycle of neglect. The line “Is it karma or is it fate” expresses the feeling that I might have done something to deserve this. The chorus highlights that central thought. I left the lyrics vague enough that the listener can interpret them in many ways. This is my first time co-writing with my bandmates, and it was fun to create something together.

Hostage

Claustrophobia was conceived after a spell of writer’s block, and was written during a period of discomfort in my own skin. It opens with the line “You can’t become a new person every day,” and goes on to express that “I am imprisoned in this vessel, I can’t flee” which is about the terrible feeling of being trapped in my own body. 

I have never put as much time into writing a song as I did with this one. When I am inspired to write, it usually comes together in a matter of hours or days, but the song structure and melody of Claustrophobia had to be reworked multiple times over a period of weeks before it felt complete. This inspires me to be open to revisiting old song ideas to try to shape them into something new.

Claustrophobia

False Hearted is about fake friends and broken promises. It’s about feeling deceived and betrayed by people you trust. The overarching theme is feeling a need for vengeance after the realization that they feel no remorse for the hurt they’ve caused. The line “You’d empty me and I would let you” acknowledges my role in allowing this to happen, and this realization shapes the way I interact with people in hopes of protecting myself from further betrayal.    

I added many layers and buildups in the song to give it an aggressive feel. Some of the production characteristics of this song were inspired by listening to Pierce the Veil. The stark bass line leading up to the scream is loosely inspired by Rage Against the Machine. In the studio, I added more monotone audio effects to my vocals in the verse to further contrast with the heavy hitting, open choruses.

False Hearted

Growing Pains

Luvhate (Re-Recorded)

Stingray (Re-Recorded)

Lazy Eye (Re-Recorded)

Post Mortem (Re-Recorded)

Mercury Twin (Re-Recorded)

Turtle Song

Death Waltz

Washing Machine Heart

Parasite

Insignificant

Roswell

Divine Slaughter

I don’t wanna sleep 
I’m wasting too much time 
My dreams are empty 
Are yours? 
I don’t wanna die 
Why can’t I have more time? 
I feel I’m floating on the floor (On the floor) 

Not gonna give away my life 
Just to be stuck in this divide 
I sleep and dream my own demise 
I don’t want to die 
If I should fall asleep 
I won’t go in too deep 
See it through mind’s eye 
I don’t want to die 

Don’t tell me it’s alright 
I know it’s not 
Drowning voices ring true 
I’m not given time or even afterthought 
I think I’m starting to unglue (To unglue) 

Not gonna give away my life 
Just to be stuck in this divide 
I sleep and dream my own demise 
I don’t want to die 
If I should fall asleep 
I won’t go in too deep 
I see through death’s disguise 
I don’t want to die 

Not gonna give away my life 
Just to be stuck in this divide 
I sleep and dream my own demise 
I don’t want to die 
If I should fall asleep 
I won’t go in too deep 
See it through mind’s eye 
I don’t want to die

credits
released July 25, 2019 
Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Tobler 
Producer and Engineer: Kris Ziakas 
Recording: BridgetSound

Luvhate

I just want to wish you the best 
But I don’t want you to go 
Have I fatigued our love 
By shadowing your soul 
Intergalactic connections 
Fueling conversation 
I feel weightless 

Memories of us 
Cheesy movies on the bus 
A future seems so unclear we were scraping dust 
I feel dead inside 
And all I wanna do is hide 
Nurture over nature 
Now I’ve lost all pride 

I don’t want to care 
I’m careless ‘cept for you 
I just want to go 
And hide within the move 
This house is haunted by my ghost 
I’m dedicated to 
What is on your tongue 
Beginning to unglue 

I’m a fly on your wall 
I’m your emotional haul 
Gleeful sights on depressing nights 
How much longer can I take this life 
Like gasoline polluting me and poisoning my mind 

I don’t want to care 
I’m careless ‘cept for you 
I just want to go 
And hide within the move 
This house is haunted by my ghost 
I’m dedicated to 
What is on your tongue 
Beginning to unglue 
Beginning to unglue 

I wish you would care 
My mind is seeping through 
Feeling you leave my bones is a hollowing truth 
Sitting in that rocking chair viewing all I value 
Learning each and every thing 
Is worth nothing without you

credits
releases October 18, 2019 
Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Knox Tobler 
Produced and Engineered: Kris Ziakas 
Recording: BridgetSound

Stingray

Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Knox Tobler
Producer: Kris Ziakas
Engineer: Kris Ziakas
Recording: BridgetSound 

Lyrics:
Hum of high voltage
In the back of my head
The crows’ cries
Fill me with dread
These twisted reigns wrap around my throat
Like a marionette
I’m being controlled

For now I shroud myself
In this temporary high

You know I fear becoming the villain
But this darkness is sometimes thrilling
Betrayal in good intention
I’m dying to be forgiven

I masquerade my pain with laughter
With each blink another chapter
Sleepless nights of feeling vile
Break me I won’t cease to smile

For now I shroud myself
In this temporary high

Another day of feeling sick
I don’t think I can overcome this
Another day of hell on earth
But I still care
For what it’s worth

You know I fear becoming a villain
But this darkness is sometimes thrilling
Betrayal in good intentions
I’m dying to be forgiven

You know I fear becoming the villain
But this darkness is sometimes thrilling
Betrayal in good intention
I’m dying to be forgiven

Lazy Eye

Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Knox Tobler
Producer: Kris Ziakas
Engineer: Kris Ziakas
Recording: BridgetSound

Lyrics:

If you could just say one more word
What would it be
Broken glass over your lips
Eyes wide open
But you can’t see

In a labyrinth of my own demise
Your cold gaze
It brings me to my knees
In this cage I can’t breathe enough
But I promise
I promise 
It’s out of sympathy

And I’m always dissecting tomorrow
Can’t you tell
Can’t you tell that I’m hollow
Throw me in the deep end
I’m tired of sleeping
I’m too far gone

My life is on standby
No control 
What I see through these eyes
What kind of life if any
It’s slowly killing me

And I’m always dissecting tomorrow
Can’t you tell
Can’t you tell that I’m hollow
Throw me in the deep end
I’m tired of sleeping
I’m too far gone

Post Mortem

Stuck inside my thoughts
And it feels like eternity
My words are powerless
It’s impossible 
Impossible to speak

In my haunted slumbers
From which I can’t wake
I’m slipping under
Gone too far
It’s too late
And I need help
I need this to end
Too powerful
I fall beneath it all again

The enemy is me
A psychological defeat
But fear enshrouds my soul
It cages me and takes control

In my haunted slumbers
From which I can’t wake
I’m slipping under
Gone too far
It’s too late
And I need help
I need this to end
Too powerful
I fall beneath it all again

In my haunted slumbers
From which I can’t wake
I’m slipping under
Gone too far
It’s too late
And I need help
I need this to end
Too powerful
I fall beneath it all again


Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Knox Tobler
Performance: AP Tobler
Producer: Kris Ziakas
Engineer: Kris Ziakas
Recording: BridgetSound

Mercury Twin

¡grunge/queercore from the bay area, ca!

AP Tobler

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