Deadline

THANKXSOMUCH

we may never get to heaven with the dogs who died

God Dies (prod. Thornskin)

plastic casket (p. thornskin)

prod. nixx ♡

> lyrics <

cuts on my back and now i'm just vacant
showed u to all my friends
now they're gone and i wanna be dead
getting out of bed past 7
park my car under the stairwell
chillin in the backseat listening to 9tails
dunno what i did last night
got scars on my arm all i know how to do is cry
and i'm blinded
eyes are bloodshot and beaten
from crying
moving too fast at a dead-end

i wonder if u miss me
told u we would talk but i don't owe u a damn thing
i recall the night so clearly
i guess that this doesn't surprise me
i  wonder if u miss me
told u we would talk but i don't owe u a damn thing
i recall the night so clearly
i guess that this doesn't surprise me
pulled up in my white tee
know that u don't like me
blood is swirling down the drain
i know this isn't healthy
staring in grain thru my window
if i left this earth, wonder where i'd go

can't sleep at night with u in my head
lie awake in my bed
going thru memories of the places we've been
and the things that u said
wide awake and ur on my mind
i can't go cus i'm wasting time again
losing sleep, cleaning shirts with bleach
cause i painted them red

i wonder if u miss me
told u we would talk but i don't owe u a damn thing
i recall the night so clearly
i guess that this doesn't surprise me
i wonder if u miss me
told u we would talk but i don't owe u a damn thing
i recall the night so clearly
i guess that this doesn't surprise me
pulled up in my white tee
know that u don't like me
blood is swirling down the drain
i know this isn't healthy
staring in grain thru my window
if i left this earth, wonder where i'd go

tearing me down like again and again
and i contemplate if i'd be better off dead
walking thru pages this smile i'm masking
the years that go by wonder if i'll be asking
WHERE ARE U NOW?
WHERE ARE U NOW?
I MISS THE TASTE OF UR LIPS AND UR SOUND
I CAN'T STOP MY HEART FROM BEATING SO LOUD
U TOLD ME U LOVED ME THEN U TORE ME DOWN
u tore me down in the back of the deep end
pull my head under it's where i will keep it
don't regret all our time and our secrets
retreating alone in my daybed

scars

Every element of this song has been mixed, mastered and composed by Eien. 

Listen on Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/track/0fbS4OfR1Tocf5gUOUSsbI?si=138c6b442de0456f

Lyrics :

So deep inside
I see the thoughts of you 
So deep inside
I can't let you go
Kill me inside
I can't feel no more
Kill me inside 
I can't feel no more
So hate me once again
I'd do It all again
So hate me once again
I'd do it all again

Lament

Original track by @nixxiu (all credits, non profit use!)

Edit by @prodghesti

'1980' Mike Mentzer - Vain | Edit

prod mix master @93feetofsmoke
feat. @thornskin

lyrics:
8ball outside the bar
baby i don't wanna 
do this again
she gotta mouth
just like a gun
boutta make 
my finger
fucking slip
huh..
and im fucking sick 
all the bullshit
im putting inside my head
huh
n ill fucking wait
all night
praying you don't 
wake up dead
huh
well whats the difference
between me and you?
it don't make sense
well whats the way
you want this world
to fucking end?
i met the devil last night
her name was heroin
and i see hell in your eyes
when you get dope sick

thornskin:

and im just running away from the pain, i
really like to drink til it all feels the same, i
blackout, migraine 
my head keeps spinning
everything is sideways
i hit flat ground, fall on my face
i wont go out, im too ashamed like

hiding pills in your purse
had a panic attack and you're making it worse
paranoid, shut down
don't believe in the earth
i arrive in a coup, and i leave in a hearse

93:
8ball outside the bar
baby i don't wanna 
do this again
she gotta mouth
just like a gun
boutta make 
my finger
fucking slip

i met the devil last night
her name was heroin
and i see hell in your eyes
when you get dope sick

i met the devil last night

i met the devil last night (ft. thornskin)

prod. tattidar, wixxy, nixx ♡

> lyrics <

and i'm so confused
i'm not as bad as i used to be with u
deep inside my room
with blood stained on my shoes
in the skin that i abuse
tryna find something brand new
in this game i'm meant to lose

and ur sticking like a tattoo
but i don't wanna stay around u
walking on the site and now i'll defuse
all alone cus no one understanding what i been thru
maybe i should stay down like a recluse
tryna talk me out of myself but it's not true
i don't wanna say it right now i'm not meant to
all i know to do is shut down and forget u

feeling like i can't breathe
i'm too used to feeling sadness and anxiety
lay down but i can't sleep
phone glow on my face and feel that tears are falling down my cheek
lately i'm not like me
don't know who controls me
don't know where my heart went
think that shit just left me
feeling empty
broken bones inside of me
don't know who i am because i threw out all my memories

underscore

ashtray

change

prod. taymxru x nixx ♡

> lyrics <

u said u wouldn't leave me astray
i tried so hard but u weren't the same
i watched u change

(u said u would wait [for me])

i watched u fade - fade away
u took my name out ur brain
i didn't want anything
u made me want everything just for u not to stay

u told me you'd wait
u told me you'd wait for me

u said u wouldn't leave me astray
i tried so hard but u weren't the same
i watched u change

u said u would wait
u said u would wait
u said u would wait for me
u said u would wait
u said u would wait
u said u would wait for me

https://linktr.ee/nixxiu

everythinghurts

https://open.spotify.com/track/2oakiAAWqhgXrN6mp6xftM?si=90efe42037964e1c

prod me

i cant see
the road ahead
i felt my eyes freeze into my head
flashbacks to u in my bed
all these memories and now ur dead

im mourning all over again
slept in till half past 10
msgs from all my friends
tellin me dont hurt myself

falling back on u
show affection and ill latch right onto u
and not to mention that ill probably scratch for u
cuz my mental has fully collapsed from u

im so stupid
im not cautious
walked right into a trap
all i wanted was my one wish
that youd come right back

collapsing

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZIIE80NheRzoIBzmo18dU?si=f78fc6c0ed884726

@melodyx_o cover
prod me

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaad my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i hate being alive
slit my wrist i wanna die
wish i wasnt such a guy
stay inside like all the time
life just feels like such a pain
i really hate everything
motivation is so drained
and i really hate my face like
oooo
been so long since i have cleaned my rooom
been so long since i have made my fucking bed
i feel so made fun of by all of my friends
and
i feel so degen
i wake myself
at 1 pm
i hate this life
i think of death
but im too scared
of nothingness
im not prepared
to leave this world
i wish i was
an average girl
instead i struggle to feel real
instead i struggle to see a life where i pay bills

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaadd my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i dont know why i try
bad decisions i just cry
see incisions on my thighs
next to prickly bumps of mine
everything is strange
why do i feel so much pain
my hair feels so disarrayed
and i cannot feel okay like
i dont have like any power
feel like my life is over
only have me to blame
throw on a skirt and
run outside again
embarrassing
myself for hours
feel ashamed my shitty mood
ive fucked my life too soon
i know i’m not doing too well
i’ll end up a jisatsu girl
if i don’t grab onto myself
if i don’t lose my fucking mind without some help

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaad my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

jisatsu girl (自殺) (cover)

prod. rick hardy x nixx ♡

> lyrics <

i let u clip my wings
and u just left me to bleed
would u stay with me
if he never tried something?

would u think its ur fault if i
took my last breath tonight?
with angels by my side
i think i'm ready to die
do u feel me in ur skin again?
cus all i know how to do is pretend
and i would give up everything
just to be with who u were again

cuts on my body
cus she's dismissing everything
u were made for me
but all u gave me was deceit
(why couldn't u see?)

u wouldn't call me if u wanted to
now i don't even care if u do
i tried to make it work out with u
but ur love for me was gone so soon
was it even true?

would u think its ur fault if i
took my last breath tonight?
with angels by my side
i think i'm ready to die
and i would give up everything
just to be with who u were again

linktree.com/nixxiu

angel

sasuke x itachi pain audio - angel nixxiu

prod. noah birch x nixx ♡

> lyrics <

u didn't care

the way u lied
u didn't care
when u left
u stopped and stared
u didn't care

u didn't care
about how i felt when everything went shit
u ran away
u didn't want to try and make a fix
crying 'til i'm pissed
and i reminisce
about what could've been
i just wish i cared a little less

the way u lied
u didn't care
(u didn't care, u didn't care)
when u left
(and when u lied)
u stopped and stared
(u didn't care, u didn't care, u didn't care)
i feel lost inside my own skin
(u left again, am i in ur head?)
won't forget everything u did
(i won't forget, u didn't care)
u didn't care

https://linktr.ee/nixxiu

udidntcare:/

1. 2001 (lost feelings)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5deqRcXhpxot443g7emMy0?si=NydICEOaRk296K4txYVwGA&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A4rUhH7hSpj0Sk41NFYbvYi

prod me ft @revivle

@requiem-for-you
what did i even do wrong?
was it what i wrote about u in my song
where did i even go wrong?
why wont u just tell me i dont wanna see u gone

cold winter nights
spent alone
used to sit by the fire on the phone
drinking hot cocoa
looking at our old photos
turning time into slowmo
where did it go wrong?

(where did i go wrong
dont wanna see u gone)

what did i even do wrong?
was it what i wrote about u in my song
where did i even go wrong?
why wont u just tell me i dont wanna see u gone

@revivle
i spent so much time on my own
i couldnt stop you from letting me go
so many promises that you went and broke
if i killed myself then how would you know ;p

im sorry for acting the way that i did
theres just something about u that makes me feel like a kid
im calling out for you i just wish you could see it
maybe u would if you stopped fucking leaving

@requiem-for-you + @revivle
what did i even do wrong?
was it what i wrote about u in my song
where did i even go wrong?
why wont u just tell me i dont wanna see u gone
x2

what did i do wrong? w/ revivle

prod. softscars

> lyrics <

i knew u would
break out
from my arms
i didn't want
to let u in
my heart
tell me what you saw
when u looked at me
was i everything u wanted me to be?
lost every piece
of what once was me
trying so hard to be just what u need

we didn't work out
guess ur happier now
beating my eyelids as my tears fall down
our love is up in the clouds
the silence speaks so loud
need to escape the thought of u somehow
when u start to walk away from me
i can't breathe
i only see u with me
send me down and i will fall

i knew u would
cause i knew u
u pushed and pushed
when u asked me
if i loved u
remember when
u didn't wanna leave my bed
i won't forget
all the pain u nailed inside my head

https://linktr.ee/nixxiu

i'll die before i see u again

everything made by me
lyrics:

she
dont wanna see
me anymore
i
i tried to fight
tried to fix everything 
i got ignored

she dont like me anymore
i tried my worst
thought i was right
i can't restore

theres
so many things that i
regret
kept pushing you aside
as my love
deepened
im so fucking dumb

she dont like me anymore
i tried my worst
thought i was right
i cant restore

Deadline

Apex